November 22, 2024

Lady in Waiting: Motive Check

November 15, 2012 by

“The less I give, the more I get back.” Anyone ever heard the song Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars? The male and female vocalists express their misinterpretations of the others’ love. In this line the male slyly remarks on how his lack of giving actually causes the woman to give more. Ever felt that way? At times I feel that I give my whole heart, energy, and attention to the men in my life and receive little in return. Even worse, I have come to expect that I will not receive back what I put into relationships with men. Before this begins to target men as the issue and we all get up in arms about how rude they are to act that way, let’s look at the words that I used here. First of all I used ‘men”, and not ‘a man’ – I have put my time and energy into men who I am not invested in a serious relationship with, hoping that they would give me something in return. Secondly, I used ‘men’, and not ‘my friends.’ If my purpose in helping, giving, and supporting is to get the attention of men and get something in return, then I am doing it with the wrong motives.

In any service, one’s entire focus ought to be to bless the other person without the expectation of receiving anything back. This goes for relationships with men and women alike. Now if all you are looking for in helping that male friend clean up his house, do his laundry, or pick out something to wear to an interview is a date request, a snuggle session, or a kiss goodnight, check your motives. This is especially difficult for me because ‘acts of service’ is most certainly my love language. I enjoy nothing more than helping out a friend in need, but I must always ask myself why I desire to help this person out.

I love the idea of taking care of a man. I want to be a wife to, to comfort, to encourage, to support a man. Even though I am single, I still have this desire, so when a male friend that I care about is hurting, is in need, is frustrated, or needs my help, I want to jump in and take care of him right away. I do not think that this is a necessary evil. I think that there are very healthy ways to exercise our sexuality outside of marriage, and figuring out what that means for you is important. However, I do think we need to check our hearts and our motives in making these choices. If you are ignoring and denying friends help who have “nothing to offer” in the way of a romantic relationship, but pouring out tons of love and attention on the men in your life who may be possibilities, this ought to be a red flag.

Our good deeds, our help, our love and attention, should not be done in order to receive something back or with selfish motives. All kinds of caring should be for the benefit of the other person, not your own benefit. Don’t let yourself become a person who gives with selfish motives and then pitches a fit when all you get is a sweet ‘thank you’ or a hug in return. Many men will most certainly appreciate your generosity, but any act of service is much more appreciated without strings and ties attached. If you are unsure of your motives, ask yourself the last time you went that far out of your way to help out a girlfriend in need. Ask yourself the last time you turned down the opportunity to help out a guy, in order to instead help out your sister.

Now, with your heart in check, go, do good deeds, love on everyone who crosses your path, and don’t plot out how you can win a man’s heart by giving him all of yours before he has even earned it.

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Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father, thank you for creating us with a desire to give, to help, and to love. Thank you for giving us relationships with men and women who we can bless with those gifts! Give us the wisdom to check our motives, analyze our intentions, and act in an upright way. Teach us to be servants to all people in our lives, without expecting anything in return. Teach us to love others the way you love them.

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Your Assignment:

What are ways that you have blessed someone by helping them out this week? Can you say that your motives were pure? Tell us ways that you have helped out your friends. Compassion? Patience? A listening ear? Help with a move? Find a way to bless a sister in Christ, or a brother that you have no intentions of having a relationship with. No strings attached. Report back when you do!!

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady In Waiting: Believing a Lie / Secure Love

November 13, 2012 by

Oh I have been there.  You know that place.  The place where you tie your self worth to a man, or whether or not you have a man?  Truth be told I still reside there some days.  My big issue, since I was young, is that I am never good “enough”.  So the fact that after 41 years I am still alone, it just makes me think that those people in my life when I was younger were absolutely right.  I’m not good enough and I’ll never be good enough for anyone to love me and want to tell the world they want to be with me for the rest of their life.  It’s not always easy.  But ladies, this is not where He wants us.  He wants us to be secure in His love.  What more should we need?

Part of today’s reading assignment brought up issues we have all discussed earlier in the book: Once we put our trust in God to bring us the man He has chosen for us, how much pursuit do we engage in?  The authors clearly tell us that we shouldn’t pursue a man.  The question that raised for me is “Well, what does that mean?  Should we just sit back and wait for this man to knock on our door?”  I don’t know if that is the answer.  I don’t think relentlessly going after someone, repeatedly, without much reciprocation is the answer either.  Isn’t there a happy medium?  I believe we can make ourselves available to possibilities without turning ourselves into a servant or doormat to the object of our interest.  I believe the keys are to pray about our intentions.  Are our motives pure, or are we doing what we are doing to snag a husband.  Seek His guidance in the decisions you make regarding him.  We can never go wrong when the focus is on Jesus rather than the potential mate.

The other thing we need to look at is why we are striving for this man we pray God has for us so strongly.  What is it we are looking for from him?  Acceptance, because we don’t accept ourselves?  Love, because we don’t love ourselves?  Security, because we are full of fear?  Worth, because we don’t feel worthy?  Well great news!  Until we heal, and accept and love ourselves with a sense of security and self worth we deserve, we have someone who already does all that for us!  Our Father loves us so much girls!  He accepts us, he knows we are worthy, and HE should be the one we seek out for security.  No man, not even a husband, can fill the need you have for secure love.

As I type this I feel so strongly about the words I am giving you.  I know a big part of the reason is because I need to hear this myself.  I need to remember it, I need to believe it, and I need to live it.  You are not alone ladies!  I struggle with never being good enough, but you know what, if my Abba Father says I am, who am I to go against Him?  Am I accepted?  My Father says I am.  Am I secure?  My Father says I am.  Am I worthy?  My Father says I am.  Am I loved?  My Father says I am.  And so are you.

LETS PRAY

Father, reach out to every woman reading these words.  Thank you for loving us unconditionally.  Thank you for never making us work for it.  We know that You are our security.  You give us what any ordinary man can not.  A love that is pure and never ending.  Bless all of us with your peace today and take the burden of matchmaking off our shoulders.  We trust in you, and thank you for forgiving us when we sometimes forget that.  In Your Holy Name I pray.  Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Please share your thoughts on the balance between letting God do His thing while bringing a man to you, and putting yourself out there so that man can have the opportunity to get to know you.   Is it cut and dry, do one or the other, or do you have a strategy that satisfies both sides of the situation?

In Him,

Michelle

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady In Waiting: Lady of Security (Reading Assignment)

November 11, 2012 by

 

Happy Sunday ladies!  After tacking the tough topic of purity last week, I hope you are ready to look inward and see where your security comes from.  I truly pray that this study is blessing each and every one of you.  I know for me, it isn’t always easy, but it is definitely beneficial.  We are perfectly imperfect and as long as we continue to seek Him, we will grow in Him each and every day.

Here are the reading assignments for the week:

November 12: Lady of Security Feelings of Insecurity – Jackie


November 13: Believing a Lie / Secure Love – Michelle


November 14: Manipulation and Maneuvering – Tonya


November 15: Quitting the Hunt – Katie


November 16: Motive Check – Diane

LET’S PRAY

ABBA Father, I ask for your blessing upon each and every woman in this study.  You know their hearts even better than they do.  Through this study, through this book, and especially through your Word speak to them.  Give them what they need to hear and give them the clarity to recognize it even when it isn’t easy.

In Him,

Michelle

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Guarding the Treasure

November 8, 2012 by

Over the past two years I have been honored to stand in four different weddings of women I prayed with, laughed with, grew with, and watched fall deeply in love with the man of their dreams. I have seen relationships grow from friendship to marriage. I have been blessed to watch newlyweds and long married couples invite their first or second child into the world. I have talked my friends through the process of deciding whether or not to pursue a relationship with a man they were interested in.

Let’s be honest, I have done my fair share of relationship watching. But the one thing that I have not done is gone on a date. That’s right, I have not been on one single date in the past two years, and let me tell you something…it is not easy watching friend after friend meet the person they will spend the rest of their lives with and begin that process, while I am left single, alone, and in the dust with out even a possibility.

Why do I start this post out with what seems to be a complaint about my relationship status? Not for sympathy or a pat on the back. Not so that you set me up with some suitor or encourage me to get my feet wet. But to share with you, that I have not been out with men because I am guarding my treasure. Don’t get me wrong; it is not easy. When everyone else is happily in love and oogling over their latest romance, I do most certainly get quite lonely at times. I would love to have a fling, lock lips with a handsome male friend, or even just go on a date for fun. But I have committed myself to guarding my heart, my body, and my love.

The author writes about some practical ways to avoid making decisions that will give away your treasure too soon. Ladies, this does not just mean your virginity or your body. This sometimes even means your words and your affection. Let’s be honest with ourselves, we all love the coos and sweet words of men who desire to share some sort of intimacy with us. It makes us feel cared about, important, wanted, and maybe even loved. But we ought not give our love to every man who speaks whispers those sweet nothings into our ears. The reality of the situation is, there is a great chance that you may not end up with the most recent sweet-talker to grace your paths.

Let me be clear here: this is not a man bash. There are many great intentioned males out there who mean what they say and have actions to back it up. But while you wait for Mr. Right, please do not throw yourself at every man who says you are beautiful, unique, or special. Even if you are in the midst of a relationship that you think could be the one, you may want to go as far as asking this man not to pour out words of adornment until you are in a more committed stage of your relationship. Explain what it does to your heart. A good man will be able to prove how much he cares for you without using words. He will make you feel beautiful, unique and special by the way that he treats you. If he is using words and not backing them up with actions, please, ladies, DO NOT stick around expecting him to change! There are good men out there who will treat you like the woman of God that you are, so don’t settle for a man who does not hold himself, and you to those standards!

Best of all if you are guarding your treasure, when you meet the right man, you will not hear yourself echoing words that you once said to a former lover. You will not find yourself repeating actions that were once special with another man, but rather you will find that all of the adorable phrases and enjoyable “you-isms” will be safe for just this one man. Trust me, I know that it is difficult to watch your sisters and friends sharing these intimate moments with men left and right. It is so hard not to get sucked into wanting it for yourself, right now! However, we will all find in the end that the moments of intimacy lost on men who mean nothing will take away from the man who will mean everything. And the moments that you save will be that much more special!

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Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father, thank you for creating us with the emotions and desires that we have! Thank you for knowing exactly how we can best use those emotions and desires. Give us the patience to save our energies for the man who you have in design for us. Let us invest our hearts in you for the comfort we lack during this time of singleness, so that we are better able to love our husbands when the time comes. Please bless us in this week as we enter into a deeper intimacy with you. Amen.

Your Assignment

 Talk with some of your sisters in Christ and/or an accountability partner about what your standards should be for a man. Write down a list of ways that you can protect your purity, and your heart when you do go out with a man you are interested in. Report back with one or two ways you have been doing that in your relationships with men.

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Online Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Lady of Purity / Deadly Deception

November 5, 2012 by

 

Girls, I want to be honest with you from the start, this chapter was a struggle for me.  As I read through it, a lot of feelings of shame and embarrassment came up for me.  Feelings I honestly didn’t even know I had.  Then followed the thoughts of, “How am I ever going to talk to these women about purity, when as a single, never married mom, it is obvious I am not “pure”.”  I can say this much to you all.  I have been saved for 3 ½ years, and I have made the commitment to remain pure until the Lord sees fit to show me the man He has planned for me.  I have not had a perfect past, but I ask for your grace as we travel through this topic of purity together.

We live in such a sexually charged society don’t we?  Sexual promiscuity seems more the norm than the exception to the rule.  Yet as Jesus girls, we are held to a higher standard, we have a higher calling.  God wants better for us.  The temptations to compromise physically are all around us, but we are called to be ladies of purity.

This is not a situation unique to 2012.  If you look back to the time of Ruth, her story took place in the time of the judges – a time of disobedience, idolatry and violence.  These were dark days for Israel, when “everyone did as he saw fit.”  Sound familiar?  So to think that Ruth had it any easier than we do in modern society would be fooling ourselves.  So how do we, like Ruth, safeguard our special treasure and stay women of purity?  We will spend the next week trying to figure it all out together.

The deadliest deception we face in today’s society is that we should seek its ultimate pleasures because that will give us the least pain.  More often than not, the exact opposite is true.  As far as guidance on the topic of sex before marriage, look no farther than our Heavenly Father.  God intends for us to enjoy the pleasure of sex within marriage only.  The joy of such an intimate act between two people is maximized when both of you remain pure.  We, especially as women, can get caught up in the fantasy of it, the romance of it, but there is always the truth, His truth: Sex is special!  Not sensuous sex, but satisfying sex in your Creator’s will and time.

We are worth more my dear women of faith.  We are worth more than a temporary pleasure that is likely to lead to the sting of regret.  We are worth more than having a man try to lure you into something you don’t want, by using manipulation.  We are worth the joy and pleasure and love that our Heavenly Father has waiting for us.  Believe it, believe Him.

LET’S PRAY

Father, it is so easy for us to be lured by the traps of today’s society and the pleasure seeking, selfish ways of this world.  But we know you have so much more for us.  We are a precious gift, not to be given away freely.  Help to give us strength when we feel weak.  Show each and every woman reading this her worth.  We are special, and in Your strength we prepare to give ourselves only to the man you have chosen specifically for us in your will and in your time.  We ask this in Your Holy Name.  Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Is staying pure a difficult aspect to your single life?  Is it something that is easy for you to cope with?  In either situation, why do you think that is?  What strategies do you have, or can you come up with, to help stay pure in today’s world?

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Saturdays with Shauna: Photography! Week3

November 3, 2012 by

Welcome to week three of Photography!  Last week, I gave you ten tips on how to take better photos and the week before, I talked about why you should take more photos.  This week, we will cover what to do with all those digital images you now have!  If you’re like me, my photos have generally lived on my hard drive or the memory card.  Not anymore!  I’m making it my mission to print photos and make albums, cards, etc. with my photos from now on!  Are you with me?

First of all, you need prints.  When computers crash a paper print is still there.  Sure, a physical print can be ruined, torn, lost, etc.  But treated properly, a print can last a very long time.  Plus, prints can be more easily enjoyed than digital photos that you have to pull up on your computer or other device in order to view them, especially if you have elderly relatives who are not computer savvy.  If you take the time to print your photos and decorate your home with them and fill albums with them, then others can easily enjoy them along with you!

Look around your house.  How many photos do you have displayed?  Only a few?  None?  That describes me.  For a former photographer, I’ve been really lazy about displaying my own family photos in our home!  If you look around and see many photos, then good for you!  You are a few steps ahead of us! 🙂  For those of us who have little to no family photos on display, we need to get busy.

The first step is looking through all your digital photos and picking out your favorites that you would like to see hanging on your walls or in albums.  When I used to make albums for my photography clients, I would start by making a new folder on my desktop (or anywhere, just remember where you put it).  Then I would look through all the photos and copy the ones I knew I wanted in the album into the new folder.  That way you have them all together in one place.  You can always delete this folder later after you’ve made your prints.  You could make separate folders for events or occasions or a folder for each of your kids and add photos to it throughout the month.  At the end of the month (or whatever time period you decide on), you could make an album for each event or for each child.  If you keep on top of your current photos this way, it makes the process much less painful.  But for those of us who have thousands of photos from years past to sort through, you will just need to set aside a day or maybe a full weekend to do this.  Don’t just say you’re going to do it either, write it on your calendar.  Schedule the time to do this and get it done!

Now that you have your photos together, look at them again and decide if you’d like to make larger prints of any of them for your walls.  Most people think an 8×10 is a “large print”.  Think again!  Take a look at the image below, borrowed from catewatersphotography.com, which compares print sizes.  An 8×10 looks puny in comparison to the others!  And on your wall, it will look tiny and be barely noticeable.  So when it comes to wall prints…. GO BIG!

Photo from: http://catewatersphotography.com

So you have your prints picked out for your album and you’ve selected a couple to print BIG for your wall 🙂  Where do you print them?  Personally, I find that many photo labs at the discount stores have color issues.  They may have cheap prints, but you get what you pay for.  Try to find a local lab that takes the time to calibrate their machines daily.  Their prints may be a few cents more but it will be worth it, plus you’re supporting a local small business!  You could also submit one or two photos to several local labs and compare the colors to see which one you prefer.  If you just can’t find a suitable lab in your area, there are some good online labs you can go to.  Just upload your photos, select print sizes, and submit.  Easy peasy!  My favorites are mpix.com and shutterfly.com.  These labs also offer photo canvases, which will really make your photos look like a work of art!  They are usually a little pricey, but if you have a special photo you really want to show off BIG on your wall, a canvas is worth the extra money!

You can also make albums and photo scrapbooks online through many different websites like mpix.com and shutterfly.com.  So if you’d rather do that instead of making individual prints and compiling your own album, go for it!  The options are endless!

The bottom line is that you have to make an intentional effort to manage your photos.  Set aside some time once a month or once a quarter, whenever you can, and get it done.  Remember, your photos are a legacy that will be cherished for years to come by your children and their children, etc.  I have several albums that belonged to my parents from the 50’s and 60’s and I’m sure they didn’t think they were anything special.  But I do and I’m so thankful they took the time to organize their photos into albums so I could have them now that they’re gone.  So if not for yourself, do it for your kids and grandkids!

Next week, our final week on photography, I will give you some pointers about photo storage, for both prints and digital images.  You’ll want to know how to preserve your digital files so that in the event of a computer crash, you won’t lose them.  And you want to make sure your printed photos will survive for many generations to come.  Your homework is to review some of your past digital photos, pick out some favorites and print them! 🙂

<3 Shauna

PS – you can visit me on my personal blog for recipes, knitting, and other fun stuff!  www.workhomeplay.net

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Lady in Waiting: An Advantageous Position

November 2, 2012 by

This chapter makes me think of my sister so incredibly much!  Reading through the story of the married lady you may think-no way does married life really get that crazy.  Now, I am not married, but my sister is, and I can assure you that the story in the book is not even close to as crazy as it really gets being married and having children running around.  Trust me, I have experienced the crazy right alongside of my sister and honestly if it wasn’t for the grace of God-there would be no way she could get through her day without putting her children and husband up for adoption.

My sister and I are very close and very similar.  We both strive to live our lives for God alone.  We both cry at the same things, and laugh at the same things-mainly each other.  We share similar passions.  We encourage one another and are both thankful we are sisters and have each other to go through life with.  There is one thing about us that makes us very different as we live out the lives God has planned perfectly for each one of us- she is married with three ADORABLE children (I know I am biased but they truly are the most adorable kids in the universe) and I am single living in a perfect little apartment all for me.

There are so many times that my sister and I will be talking on the phone (me usually whining on the phone) in the midst of living out the difference in our lives and she will mutter the words, enjoy being single while it lasts because when you are married you won’t have time to yourself.  This is usually said after I go on and on about the fact that I am single and alone and wondering how I am ever going to find the man God has for me if I am sitting home, alone talking to her.  Meanwhile, my sister on the other end is wishing and praying for some sort of miraculous thing where time freezes just for her kids and husband and she can move around doing what she wants and needs without them just for even a minute will do.

I am always reminded of a few things when I talk to my sister in these moments:  living out married life with kids is a lot different than the married life with kids we dream of when we are single.  By enjoying single life she doesn’t want me to enjoy the fact that I feel like a loser sometimes, she wants me to enjoy the time I have with God alone and make the most of that time.  Married women want what single women have-not so much singleness, but aloneness: time to spend alone with God or with a good movie without any interruptions of motherhood and being a wife.  In the same way single women want what married women have: a husband to come home, give us a kiss, ask us how our day was, and to spend our evenings with him and not alone.

The fact of that matter though is that GOD IS CALLING ME AND YOU TO SINGLENESS FOR THIS SEASON OF OUR LIVES.  WE MUST NOT WANT SOMETHING WE DO NOT HAVE.  WE MUST EMBRACE THIS TIME IN OUR LIFE, WE MUST USE OUR TIME THAT WE HAVE ALL TO OURSELVES AND SHARE IT WITH GOD, YEARNING TO HEAR FROM HIM AND GROW CLOSER TO HIM.

My sister will be the first person to tell you that marriage and motherhood is such a blessing and gift from above.  You NEVER want to trade those blessings and gifts for anything.  She will also be the first to tell you that being a wife and mommy makes spending time with God a little more of a challenge.

As a single woman, I am telling you that the only thing that keeps us from taking advantage of the TIME we have to spend with God daily (distractionless) is the whining we do in our minds, the unrealistic dreams we will not let go of.  There will come a day when most of us will not have the luxury of one-on-one time with God without a husband needing socks, a poopy diaper needing changed, and the Bible you are so desperately trying to read being chewed on by a teething little child.  So let us make the most of the time we do have to put all of our attention and focus on the one and only satisfaction to our hearts desires.  You are where you are for a reason, married or single-God still desires to spend time with you.  And as a single woman of God it is our hearts desire to be concerned with living our lives for HIM ALONE.

LET’S PRAY:  Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you and praise you so much for the time you give us every day to spend with YOU!  I pray that in the midst of our singleness we do not become distant from you, but instead we use this time to grow closer to you.  Prepare our hearts for whatever lies ahead for us.  Help us to take full advantage of our single days-with you.  I love you so much Jesus!  We pray all of these things in your HOLY name, AMEN.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT:  List everything you want in your life.  Give that list to God, literally take that list and pray to God about everything on it.  Then put the paper in a safe place.  Ask God to turn that list of your wants into HIS LIST OF HIS WANTS.  As time goes by, compare the lists.  See what has changed and what you have been living out for Him all along!

Love you ladies!!

Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

 

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Lady in Waiting: Meditations

November 1, 2012 by

“You are my daughter.” “You are a priestess.” “You are a child of the Most High God.”

“Quiet your heart and rest.” “My child, I love you.”

The times that I wait to listen for the Lord’s voice are few and far between, but these are some of the words he has spoken when I have asked. And these words from the Lord have meant the world to me. When I take the time to meditate on his word, when I seek him in prayer, when I journal, and when I wait for his responses, I begin to build a deeply intimate relationship with the God that I love. I get to know the God of Scripture, rather than simply the God I have been told about or have decided he was. I hear his heart for me and I learn when he aches for me.

Meditation on the Lord is not an easy feat. It is hard to rest, relax, and shake the things of this world out of your mind, in order to hear the Lord’s voice better. The competing and often opposing words of the world sometimes shout into your ear as you wait on him. And the enemy longs to convince us that the things we are hearing are simply not true. So, how do we know they are from him, and not just made up in our minds? We turn to Scripture to learn about who God is, and the promises he has made to us. Here are some of the verses affirming the gentle whispers that the Lord has spoken to me:

“Some of the tree’s branches were pruned and you wild olive shoots were grafted in…” (Romans 11:17a The Message)

 

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” (1 Peter 2:9 NIV)

 

“He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”” (Psalm 4:10 NIV)

 

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39 NIV)

The times that I actually wait to listen for my Lover’s voice are few and far between. Yet I rarely shut out the voices of all the lovers of this world; rather, I hold their opinions and thoughts to quite a high standard. But the only way to differentiate our Lover’s voice from the voices of those around us is to know Scripture. Find a devotion plan that will help you to work through the books of the Bible at a pace that is good for you. Find a quiet place where you will not be bothered (this could even be a coffee shop or a book store with a reading space if you fear you will be bothered at home!) Take a journal, and take notes of the verses that stand out to you. In your prayer time, ask the Lord to engrave these things on your heart.

If you are having trouble focusing or hearing the Lord, write down everything that is distracting you from him and decide that those are not things you are going to focus on for the next half hour. The enemy wants those distractions to come up, but our God desires our heart even more. Ask the Holy Spirit to come into this time with you and protect you from the attacks of the enemy.

What would the Lord have to say to you if you took the time to hear? What gentle reminders would he whisper into your ear? What convictions would he strengthen, what sorrows would he quiet, and what desires would he quench? I ask myself these questions today, just as I am asking you. Our Heavenly Father has plenty to say, if we open our ears, put our talking on pause, and listen!

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Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father, I ask right now that you would cleanse our minds from the things of this world. We long to meditate on your word so that we can know you deeper. As single women, we know that we have even more time now than we ever will to get to know you intimately. Give each of us the mind of Christ, to hear your voice. Holy Spirit, protect us from the attacks of the enemy that keep us from hearing you. Engrave you Word on our hearts, Lord. We love you. Amen.

Your Assignment:

When was the last time you spent more than 15 minutes talking with God? To be completely honest, I have made many excuses to not spend time with him because of how early I get up for work. Put those excuses away! This is the most important relationship you will ever, ever, ever have! Let’s sit down and look at our schedule for next week. Find a time on each day that you can get quiet with God. Read Scripture for 30 minutes, and then spend time praying and listening to him for 30 minutes. I’d encourage you to take a journal and write down anything he says!

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady In Waiting: Finding the Priceless Pearls

October 26, 2012 by

 

When I looked at the schedule and saw I had this section of the chapter to talk about with you ladies, I was ecstatic!  I am pretty sure this is my favorite chapter.  When I read, A Lady in Waiting years ago, I wrote down this sentence from page 61: From the time you wake in the morning until you go to bed at night, set your heart’s desire on exalting Him.  This paper is sitting in my nightstand drawer.  Every time I read that sentence I pray that I am able to do just what is says that day.  Through the years I have learned what exactly it means to exalt God.

I have not always exalted God.  In fact for three years of my life, my heart’s desire was not for God; it was for a man who I tried to make my God.  I lived to honor this man, I lived for this man, from the time I woke up in the morning until I went to sleep at night I made this man a huge idol in my life.  This was the absolute worst time in my life.  He was very abusive, controlling, manipulative, and to put it simply, his heart’s desire was to destroy me and to sit back and watch in slow motion as he painfully ripped every single one of the pearls away I had received from God the day I accepted Him into my heart.  The worst part was I could not defend these pearls he was taking so viciously from me, because I had no idea they existed.

When all I was left with was an empty strand where beautiful pearls once laid, it was my turn to add new pearls.  Instead of adding God honoring pearls to that strand, it slowly started getting corrupted with ugly pearls of drunkenness, provocativeness, impurity, idolatry, outbursts of anger, carousing, anxieties, depression, and honestly I could probably go on and on.  I did not know what God honoring qualities and character looked like for me.  I saw it in other people, my sister and grandmother especially.  They wore their pearl necklaces proud as they should, and I was happy for them and others who did just that, but I had lost all hope for myself.  I truly believed it was too late for me.  I never thought the day would come where I would wear the pearls God has been preparing for me.

I can very thankfully and happily say that today, and every day, I stand confident in the pearls that God has picked out just for me.  I found them all, some I had to work so hard for, others he so graciously gave to me.  One pearl on the strand I think I am most thankful for is, LOVE.  There are no words this side of Heaven to describe to you the benefits and satisfaction in God’s love.  This is one pearl I never have to work for.  God’s love is there for me, even when my strand was covered with sin, His love was still there, on the other side of the clasp, but still, IT WAS THERE!  One pearl I still struggle with is self-control.  When I read this book, years ago, I wrote in the margin, WORK ON SELF CONTROL.  For whatever reason I ignored that note since it was written years ago.

This is what I learned when I saw that note staring in my face the beginning of the week.  We all have access to the God honoring qualities and likeness he teaches us about in the Bible.  Yes, they are beautiful pearls.  But, for whatever reason, we sell ourselves short.  We believe the lie that we are not good enough for God’s best.  We know of the qualities and pearls we can have in Christ, but we choose or settle for the qualities or pearls we have grown accustomed to in this world.  We go for the dime store pearl necklace when waiting for us is the priceless one in Heaven.

Exalting God is when we put aside the dime store necklace we have felt comfortable with and set our eyes and hearts above to the ONE and only who will give us the pearls HE desires for us.  Exalting God is when we let the Holy Spirit fill us with the pearls we are so deserving of from up above.  Exalting God is when we praise Him and honor Him with the pearls he has provided us with to treasure on our “necklace of virtue”.

Let’s Pray:

Father God, I thank you and praise you so much for the priceless pearls that you have for each and every one of us.  I pray that as we continue this study we strive to exalt you every moment of every day.  I pray that each and every one of us on this journey is able trade in the dime store necklace for a necklace of virtue so graciously given to us by Your Spirit.  Thank you for going along this journey with us.  I pray our heart’s desire YOU alone.  I pray all of these things in your precious name, Amen.

Your Assignment:

What is your heart’s desire?  Spend some time today being honest with God about what pearls you have on your necklace.  Tell Him what ones you want to remove, tell Him what ones you need help getting to their full potential.  Think about what exalting God means, and desire to spend your days doing JUST THAT.

Love you ladies all a super bunch!!

Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Have you accepted Christ into your heart?  Is His Spirit living inside of you?  If you have not, but would like to pray, please contact our prayer team at prayer@girlfriendscoffeehour.com .  Someone from our prayer team is waiting to pray with you! 

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Lady In Waiting – Meeting Across Continents

October 19, 2012 by


Where He Will Find Me

When I read this book a couple years ago, I decided to also read through the book of the Bible, Ruth.  If you have not read the book of Ruth, I strongly encourage you to do so with this study!  This section of the book called Meeting Across Continents really makes me think of Ruth.  In the first chapter of Ruth we see that instead of staying in a town where Ruth had the possibility of security in a husband and children, she decided to leave so she could care for her mother in law, Naomi.   Leaving ultimately meant there was no way of ever getting married and having a family.  Ruth gave up that dream because she knew following Naomi where God was leading them was better than staying where she was.  WOW!

On the contrary, here we are in our little lives we have grown oh so comfortable with, scared to leave our towns because if we go where the Lord is calling us, we will miss out on the guy that is going to put a ring on it!  Really that is what you think, isn’t it?  I know it is what I think.  I think that if I stay in my town or at least in my country than I will certainly cross paths with the man that I am supposed to marry.  I have had thoughts of going oversees to work in a ministry I have come to love but I stop those thoughts from being anything other than thoughts because I am scared if I let that thought flourish and even start praying for that thought then I will end up far away from my family helping women who hurt so badly find Jesus; instead of having the dream wedding I have always dreamed of.  That was really hard for me to write, but it is or was should I say unfortunately the truth.  Today I decided to pray for that thought.

I love Ruth for many things, but I think the best thing about Ruth is she saw how important it was to care for Naomi.  She gave up her life to care for Naomi.  In my Bible (I have the Life Application Bible) it says that back then, there was almost nothing worse than being a widow-which Naomi was.  The nearest relative to Naomi should care for her according to the law.  However, Naomi did not have any relatives.  All she had was Ruth.  Ruth desired to care for Naomi.  This selfless act, the Lord blessed incredibly.  When they traveled to Israel-the place Ruth should never have been able to marry, the Lord provided Ruth with her husband, Boaz.

Do you know who God is calling you to care for?  Is He calling you to care for a family member, like Ruth?  Is He calling you to a ministry somewhere other than where you are at this moment to care for hurting people in the world?  Maybe He is calling you somewhere that is far away from your family and will cause you to think if you indeed do go, you will miss out on your husband.  More importantly though, are you open to seeing just where the Lord wants you to care for the hurting people in the world.  Do you open your eyes to HIS desires for you?  Or are you scared because if you do, you are thinking you will miss out on your man.

I love the truth written on page 47 of our book; Jesus can bring your life-mate to you, no matter where you live.  Do you believe that?  You need to!  It is not about where we are, but what we are doing.  If we are doing God’s will then that is where we will find the man God has hand-picked for us!  Being in God’s will is where we should always desire to be even if it is in a different continent.  I do not want you to think that when you finally submit completely to God’s will than that means you will finally get that ring on your finger.  Being in God’s will is where you are meant to be single or married.  In God’s will is where you will be the happiest GLORIFYING God by caring for those he has hand-picked just for you to care for.

As for me, I know that I want the man I marry to find me in God’s will, doing what God so desperately desires for me to be doing.  When Ruth left all of the eligible bachelors in Moab-the last thing she was thinking was that God would bring her one in Israel, but He did!  I pray that as we have faith to leave the eligible bachelors we see with our eyes, we find the one with God’s eyes He has for us.

 

Let’s Pray:  Thank you Lord that we have Ruth to learn from.  The way she so selflessly cared for Naomi is incredibly encouraging.  I pray that you instill in us a desire to care for the people you have hand-picked for us to encounter in this life.  I pray that wherever you lead us, we have the faith to end up in your will for us, meaning single for some of us and married for some of us.  I pray that you help us to live by faith and not to live by our own wills.  Thank you Lord that you have taken care of our greatest need already-SALVATION.  We love you always and forever!  Amen

Your Assignment:  Read Ruth!!  Please feel free to leave a comment below (your comments can be anonymous if that makes you feel more comfortable) about your journey of living in God’s will for your life.  Or, share with us any time where you have decided to give up on an opportunity because you wanted to remain where you were just in case Mr. Right walked by.

 

 

If you would like to take part in this Online Bible Study and Facebook Discussion Group, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button located at the top of our website, in the Menu Bar. Once we receive your request, we will add you to our group!

Love you all,

Diane

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