December 23, 2024

A Lady In Waiting: A Reflection

December 14, 2012 by

Here is a little fun fact about me…up until two years ago I have NEVER finished reading a book.  Sometimes I would only get two chapters in, other times I got to almost the end but never made it to the last page of the book.  The first book I have ever finished reading completely was A Lady In Waiting! I remember thinking to myself this must have been a really good book because I actually read the entire thing!  That thought was confirmed when I decided to read it a second time with all of you ladies!  One thing that foolishly kept me reading, the first time around, was thinking if I made it to the last page once I flipped it over I would be guaranteed a husband.  In a way that was such a false thought, but in another way I found out what this book did guarantee for me and it proved to be way better than a husband!

For a girl who really struggled with everything that goes along with men, this book was just what I needed-a Godsend if you will.  When I read the title alone I knew I needed it.  I felt God saying to me, buy this book now!  So I did, and from that moment on I went on a journey with God.  One in which He showed me that my love story is not about just any man I may meet one day, it is about ME and GOD.

The first night I started reading the book I could not stop reading.  I highlighted so many words and sentences, I took notes feverishly; you would have thought someone would be quizzing me the next day on what I was reading.  I honestly could not get enough of GOD’S truth that I was reading on each page.  God used this book to draw me closer to Him.  It was through this book that I learned being single is not about me finding my husband, it is about me finding my God.  After the first night I started reading I decided to really find out all I possibly could about who God was to me.

When I first read this book, I was just fine waiting on my husband.  In fact, I still had such a sour taste in my mouth about all men; I was perfectly fine waiting forever.  The second time around that was not the case.  Two years later I found myself completely healed from past hurts with men (thank you Jesus).  Honestly, my heart was ready for a relationship and simply got tired of waiting.  This book has helped me learn what I am supposed to be doing while I wait.  Patience is not all about waiting; it is about our attitude as we wait.  Are we sulking in self-pity because we are alone or are we enjoying and making the most of the time we have alone with God?  This book is filled with the joys of singleness-having time with God.  I have found that when serving God that is when I am closest to Him.  I have decided to serve Him every chance I get and not missing out on those chances because of feeling like I am missing out on my husband.

A Lady In Waiting is overflowing with Godly advice on waiting for a relationship, being in a relationship, and the man you will be in that relationship with.  That is the main reason why I sort of kind of believed that I would finally have a ring on my finger after reading.  The fact of the matter is this book is not our life story.  It does not even come close.  God has written a perfectly thought out and breath-taking story for each and every one of us!  He knows our hearts, thoughts, souls, and desires.  He knows what is best for us and wants us to feel His love every moment of every day.  Singleness may be just a season for some and it may be a lifetime here on Earth for some; but thankfully a relationship with God is not just a season and it lasts longer than a lifetime here on Earth.  Our relationship with God takes us into eternity to be with our Bridegroom in Heaven forever and always!  That is where our joy is found, in a right relationship with God.

Being single does not accurately define us ladies in waiting.  In fact we are not single at all we are in a relationship with God.  With that truth shining so bright I am almost embarrassed of what a worldly demand I had when I first sat down to read this book-to have a ring on my finger afterwards.  What a unfulfilling desire to work towards.  The second time I read A Lady In Waiting with all of you I think I finally got “it”.  This book was not created to guarantee a ring on our finger after completion of the last word on the last page of the book.  Quite the contrary, this book was created to guarantee a stronger, closer, more personal relationship with our God!  It is not about the accessory of a shiny ring, it is about the accessory of the love of Jesus.  Rings will not last forever but HIS love will! 

I pray that after completion of this book, you accept and show off the most beautiful part of your story, JESUS’ LOVE.  I pray this book has guaranteed the same for you as it has for me, a closer more personal relationship with the complete love of your soul: Jesus Christ!

Let’s Pray: 

Lord, thank you for the study of A Lady In Waiting that you have brought into each of our lives.  I pray that each woman in this study leaves this study with a closer, stronger relationship with you.  I thank you for your many blessings you pour out on us daily.  Help us to remember the beautiful accessory you are in our lives each and every day.  Thank you for the story you have created for us and we trust you to write every page just the way you want!  We love you so incredibly much, Amen.

Your Assignment: 

Spend time reflecting on this study.  Has this study brought you closer to God?  Do you find fulfillment in the accessory of Jesus’ love or are you still waiting for that ring?  Let us know how we can be praying for you!

Our Next Single Women’s Online Bible Study

“Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul”

by John & Stasi Eldredge

Begins January 6, 2013

Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul

Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul

To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to studying “Captivating” with you!!

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Lady in Waiting: Lady of Conviction – Wedding Day Chains

November 29, 2012 by

 

Today, I want to introduce you to Carissa Markantone.  Carissa will be blogging for you every Thursday, for our Singles Ministry.  I am extremely excited to have Carissa join us!   — Christi Wilson

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He asked. She said yes.  But in the back of her mind, something wasn’t right.  To be honest, something wasn’t right way before he asked.  But she ignored it.  After all, she’d seen his progress.  He was actually going to church now, he was leading prayer before each meal, he was reading his Bible on a … weekly basis.  That has to count for something, right?  She’d convinced herself that his “progress” was good enough.  Good enough to put a ring on it.

Three weeks later, she took the ring off.  And with tears streaming down her face, she gave it back.  Oh, and did I tell you? That woman…was me.

I’d love to tell you that since then, I’ve changed my ways.  I’d love to tell you that I haven’t been out on a date with a non-believer or lukewarm Christian ever since my broken engagement.  But I can’t because that would be a lie.  As our authors point out, I’ve definitely justified a date or two “in the guise of being a witness for Jesus.”

When you think of a missionary dater, what does she look like? My imagination runs wild with some Bible-banging woman speaking about Jesus with every other sentence.  In reality, this isn’t the case.  Missionary dating looks just like normal dating.  I think of Mary Poppins and her “spoonful of sugar.”  What does Ms. Poppins do when the children don’t want to take their yucky medicine?  Why, she simply adds a spoonful of sugar! What does the missionary dater do when her man doesn’t want to include Jesus in his life?  When he doesn’t want to pray, read his Bible, or go to church?  Why, she simply adds romance (the spoonful of sugar) to help that yucky medicine go down!

Have you ever caught yourself justifying a relationship or a date that wasn’t God-centered as I have?  Missionary dating begins as a condition of the heart.  We’ve discussed motives a lot in this study, but the missionary dating motive is a dangerous one because it intertwines both emotional and spiritual intimacy with someone of the opposite sex.  Once those intimate bonds are formed, they are hard to break. In fact, only God can break them. So avoid creating those bonds with non-believers or even those with superficial faith.  If a man isn’t encouraging you to grow and isn’t challenging you in your own walk with the Lord, then he isn’t God’s best! Proverbs 4:23. Guard your hearts, ladies!

“You must set a higher standard and resist dating a guy who is not growing in his intimacy with Christ.”

So what does “growing in his intimacy with Christ” look like? I’d like to draw on the commonly quoted distinction –it’s more than religion; it’s a relationship.  Relationships require a desire for commitment, a devotion of time, and a consistent communication.  Does the man you’re interested in display these characteristics?  Did he prior to meeting you? Ladies, it’s more than attending church every week.  It’s more than saying a prayer before each meal.  And it’s certainly more than a coerced time spent with God every week.  He must want God.  He must want God more than he wants you.  Wow, that’s powerful.  He must want a relationship with Jesus more than he wants a relationship with you.

Regardless of your relationship status right now, let’s meditate on Ephesians 6:18:  “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.  With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.” (NIV) So, ladies, pray in the Spirit.  Submit your hearts and minds to the direction and leading of the Holy Spirit, and then pray in His power. Let Him lead you, and listen to Him and only Him.  Put aside your good intentions, and let God take the reins.

God bless,

Carissa

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Let’s Pray:
Father God, we thank you for Your awesome power.  Father, that You and only You have the power to change the hearts of men.  Help us surrender our own will and our good intentions to You.  Father, give us patience for Your timing, trust in Your plans, and hope for the future You have in store for us.  While we wait, Father, let us live for You and You alone.  Let us be a light to a lost world by living for You each day.    Thank you, Jesus, for your unfailing love and grace.  In your Holy Name we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:
These questions are loaded, so be prepared!

What is the problem with dating guys who are good, but who are not Christians? What is the difference between a good man who goes to church and a growing Christian man?  What difference would it make in marriage?
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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage, which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Carissa Markantone joins us from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where she’s lived nearly all of her 25 years.

Carissa was saved at the age of 5, but recently rededicated her life to Christ a little more than a year ago.  She has a huge heart for serving others, especially children with terminal illnesses.

Carissa desires to live every day for her King, striving for more of Him and less of her with each waking day.  Outside of her analyst duties at a major sporting goods retailer, Carissa enjoys spending her time with friends and family, reading, writing, working out, and singing praises to her Savior at the top of her lungs (the neighbors haven’t complained…yet)!

Carissa desires for every woman to know her worth through the eyes of God.  Her motto for 2012 (which will definitely carry to 2013) is “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.”  God doesn’t call us to an easy life.  Living for Him is hard, but it will be so worth it once we get Home!

Girlfriends Coffee Hour is very excited to add Carissa to our Singles blogging team!.  She has been an active participant in our Singles Ministry, and has been such a joy!  God is doing great things in her life!

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Lady in Waiting: Chance Rendezvous

October 16, 2012 by

It all comes down to trust.  It seems to always come down to trust, doesn’t it?  No matter what the situation, no matter what we are waiting for, no matter how hurt we are, no matter what decisions we make, it all comes down to that word, “trust”.  So tell me, do you like to take things into your own hands, or do you trust God?

As I was reading today’s passage I had to smile.  If we are honest, we have to admit we have all done something to try to cause that “chance” rendezvous.  I can’t say I have joined a ministry to be closer to a man I was interested in, or that I have switched churches to find a more singles-rich environment, but yes, I have lingered at times, hoping for a chance to say hello or have a conversation.  I have also gone to an event because there was more of a chance that there would be single males there, even if I weren’t 100% interested in the event itself.

I struggle with “putting myself out there”.  To say there is a shortage of single men in my church would be an understatement.  As I sit here and think about it, there are probably less than 10 men that would be appropriate for me to even consider as a possibility (and that may be being generous) and if I am not involved in church activities, I am involved in my son’s activities, which means even if I am around men, they are married dads.  So yes, sometimes I wonder how I will ever meet someone if I am never around single Christian men.  That is when I can fall into the trap of taking things into our own hands.

The hard part, for me, is knowing what is walking in faith, and what is taking things into my own hands.  Is going to an event I am not totally sold on walking in faith, because I need to give God opportunities and sitting in my house or at my singles starved church won’t do that?  Or is it taking things into my own hands because it’s not something I would have normally chosen to attend and I am trying to force God’s hand?

Another time this question comes up for me is when the topic of online dating comes up.  Some (married) friends have asked me whether I have considered doing e-Harmony or another Christian dating site.  Cost aside, I have the same questions.  Is that really having faith in God if I go onto these sites, or am I trying to speed up a process that God may already have in place that has nothing to do with the computer?  Is it opening myself up to temptations when I should be focusing somewhere else?  Or will God use this method to give me the man He has been preparing for me?   How do we know?  We need to check our hearts.

The last part of the passage really made me think.  How is your heart preparation?  When we get ready for church, or a singles event, or a small group, whatever it is, and you know “he” or “they” will be there, do you spend as much time preparing your heart, like Ruth, as you do preparing your physical appearance, like Orpah?  I can humbly and honestly say I never even thought of doing something like that.  I make sure I shower, do my hair, makeup, try to find a cute outfit, the whole deal.  I have never taken even 10 minutes to spend praying and talking to God.  Think about the difference that might make.  Not only will we look cute, but our heart is softened and opened to the will of God.

When we talk to someone at church, maybe we won’t be thinking about saying the right thing, we will know that God will give us the right words.  How does that sound?  Instead of wondering if we should be spending time with this man, we will be open to the nudging of the spirit and He will let us know if we are where we belong.  Don’t we want a man that is interested in more than what we have on the outside? I am reminded of the quote, “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.” Well then ladies, I urge you, spend just as much time preparing your inside as you do preparing your outside.  Then you will be amazingly beautiful to the man God has for you.

Let’s Pray
Lord I ask You to work on our hearts today.  We may not always have the purest of motives, even when we think we do.  But You know.  You know what is in our hearts.  According to Your word “All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord” (Proverbs 16:2).  Help us to discern our true motives when we make the choices we do.  We want to have a heart like You, and we need You to help us with that.  Help us to trust You, to truly believe that Your plans are the best plans for us.  Through the tough situations, the waiting, the hurts, the hard choices, help us to know You are there for us and, as always, have only the best intentions for us.  We love You Lord and want Your will for us.  Amen.

Your Assignment:
Please leave a comment below about chance rendezvous that you have tried to create.

 

Thoughts to ponder:

Have you ever made a major decision based on finding a mate?  If so, what was the outcome?  How about the little things we do?  Share some experiences you have had.

When getting ready to go somewhere do you spend as much time on heart preparation as you do on physical preparation?  If so, have you seen a difference?  Is this a new concept for you?  If it is, do you intend on making any changes?

God bless,

Michelle

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If you are interested in joining us in this Online Bible Study, click on the “Sign-Up Here” button at the top of the page, and follow the instructions.  Once we receive your request, you will be added to a group.

 

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