November 5, 2024

Lady In Waiting: Contentment – The Torture of Desire – The Capacity to Wait

November 19, 2012 by

 

God gave this section of the book to me.  I couldn’t be more sure.  Some of the words the authors use are the exact same ones I said to my friend just two days ago.  I struggle with contentment.  It is an area where I think, “I got this!” just to stumble when an email isn’t returned or I lay alone in bed crying a few days or weeks later.  So many times I think I have surrendered this issue to Him.  Then I feel like I failure when I find myself doing things that take me out of God’s will regarding being single.

Can anyone relate?  I love the example they use to define suffering: “Having what you do not want (singleness), and wanting what you do not have (a husband).”  Now I know and understand that not everyone feels that suffering, but for those that do, how do you cope with such a longing?  If you continue to focus on what you do not have, you will always feel that loss and discontentment.  We need to start putting our focus on God and all that we DO have.  Something jumped off the page and practically knocked me over the head when I read it: If you are presently discontent as a single woman, you can count on being dissatisfied as a married woman in the future. You know what?  Life is never on our terms, God’s plans will always be hard to understand, and we cannot get caught up in the downward spiral of negativity and “not haves” no matter what stage we are in life.  Starting to renew and transform our minds to this fact are the beginning stages of finding contentment in the Lord and His plans.  The verse that immediately came to mind was Romans 8:28.  I love the way The Message states it: That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.  If we trust in that, contentment comes a lot easier.

Ruth had every reason to feel discontentment.  Instead of wallowing in her circumstances and focusing on the loss of her husband and leaving her people, she chose to cling to the God whom she trusted despite everything that had happened.  In following God’s leading and working in the fields every day, Boaz was brought to her.  Even in this situation, with Boaz seemingly ready to “do all Ruth asks”, Naomi cautions Ruth to wait and see how everything actually turns out.  Instead of getting caught up in all the excitement she is asked to sit back and wait and see what Boaz actually does.  Wouldn’t that be hard to do?  God calls us to wait often.  Most of the time we don’t know why, but we need to place our trust in Him fully and completely and believe that it will be worked into something good.  Be content ladies.  Focus on the good.  Be grateful.  The “torture” will lessen and the waiting won’t seem so bad.

LET’S PRAY

Father God, you love each and every woman reading these words.  You have a plan for each of us.  Sometimes it is hard not knowing what that plan is, but I pray today that we remember your faithfulness rather than focusing on what we don’t have.  You have provided for us, you have gifted us, and that is where we want to fixate.  Please help renew our minds so that the waiting and our circumstances are not what we focus each day, but all the blessings that you have given us that day.  Thank you for your never ending care.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Today I want you to list 5 blessings you are grateful for.  If you can relate them to your single life, even better!  We have to remember that this season in life is not all misery and negativity; God gives us many gifts through our single life, things that not everyone else can necessarily experience at other stages of life.

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady In Waiting: Believing a Lie / Secure Love

November 13, 2012 by

Oh I have been there.  You know that place.  The place where you tie your self worth to a man, or whether or not you have a man?  Truth be told I still reside there some days.  My big issue, since I was young, is that I am never good “enough”.  So the fact that after 41 years I am still alone, it just makes me think that those people in my life when I was younger were absolutely right.  I’m not good enough and I’ll never be good enough for anyone to love me and want to tell the world they want to be with me for the rest of their life.  It’s not always easy.  But ladies, this is not where He wants us.  He wants us to be secure in His love.  What more should we need?

Part of today’s reading assignment brought up issues we have all discussed earlier in the book: Once we put our trust in God to bring us the man He has chosen for us, how much pursuit do we engage in?  The authors clearly tell us that we shouldn’t pursue a man.  The question that raised for me is “Well, what does that mean?  Should we just sit back and wait for this man to knock on our door?”  I don’t know if that is the answer.  I don’t think relentlessly going after someone, repeatedly, without much reciprocation is the answer either.  Isn’t there a happy medium?  I believe we can make ourselves available to possibilities without turning ourselves into a servant or doormat to the object of our interest.  I believe the keys are to pray about our intentions.  Are our motives pure, or are we doing what we are doing to snag a husband.  Seek His guidance in the decisions you make regarding him.  We can never go wrong when the focus is on Jesus rather than the potential mate.

The other thing we need to look at is why we are striving for this man we pray God has for us so strongly.  What is it we are looking for from him?  Acceptance, because we don’t accept ourselves?  Love, because we don’t love ourselves?  Security, because we are full of fear?  Worth, because we don’t feel worthy?  Well great news!  Until we heal, and accept and love ourselves with a sense of security and self worth we deserve, we have someone who already does all that for us!  Our Father loves us so much girls!  He accepts us, he knows we are worthy, and HE should be the one we seek out for security.  No man, not even a husband, can fill the need you have for secure love.

As I type this I feel so strongly about the words I am giving you.  I know a big part of the reason is because I need to hear this myself.  I need to remember it, I need to believe it, and I need to live it.  You are not alone ladies!  I struggle with never being good enough, but you know what, if my Abba Father says I am, who am I to go against Him?  Am I accepted?  My Father says I am.  Am I secure?  My Father says I am.  Am I worthy?  My Father says I am.  Am I loved?  My Father says I am.  And so are you.

LETS PRAY

Father, reach out to every woman reading these words.  Thank you for loving us unconditionally.  Thank you for never making us work for it.  We know that You are our security.  You give us what any ordinary man can not.  A love that is pure and never ending.  Bless all of us with your peace today and take the burden of matchmaking off our shoulders.  We trust in you, and thank you for forgiving us when we sometimes forget that.  In Your Holy Name I pray.  Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Please share your thoughts on the balance between letting God do His thing while bringing a man to you, and putting yourself out there so that man can have the opportunity to get to know you.   Is it cut and dry, do one or the other, or do you have a strategy that satisfies both sides of the situation?

In Him,

Michelle

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady In Waiting: Lady of Security (Reading Assignment)

November 11, 2012 by

 

Happy Sunday ladies!  After tacking the tough topic of purity last week, I hope you are ready to look inward and see where your security comes from.  I truly pray that this study is blessing each and every one of you.  I know for me, it isn’t always easy, but it is definitely beneficial.  We are perfectly imperfect and as long as we continue to seek Him, we will grow in Him each and every day.

Here are the reading assignments for the week:

November 12: Lady of Security Feelings of Insecurity – Jackie


November 13: Believing a Lie / Secure Love – Michelle


November 14: Manipulation and Maneuvering – Tonya


November 15: Quitting the Hunt – Katie


November 16: Motive Check – Diane

LET’S PRAY

ABBA Father, I ask for your blessing upon each and every woman in this study.  You know their hearts even better than they do.  Through this study, through this book, and especially through your Word speak to them.  Give them what they need to hear and give them the clarity to recognize it even when it isn’t easy.

In Him,

Michelle

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Lady of Purity / Deadly Deception

November 5, 2012 by

 

Girls, I want to be honest with you from the start, this chapter was a struggle for me.  As I read through it, a lot of feelings of shame and embarrassment came up for me.  Feelings I honestly didn’t even know I had.  Then followed the thoughts of, “How am I ever going to talk to these women about purity, when as a single, never married mom, it is obvious I am not “pure”.”  I can say this much to you all.  I have been saved for 3 ½ years, and I have made the commitment to remain pure until the Lord sees fit to show me the man He has planned for me.  I have not had a perfect past, but I ask for your grace as we travel through this topic of purity together.

We live in such a sexually charged society don’t we?  Sexual promiscuity seems more the norm than the exception to the rule.  Yet as Jesus girls, we are held to a higher standard, we have a higher calling.  God wants better for us.  The temptations to compromise physically are all around us, but we are called to be ladies of purity.

This is not a situation unique to 2012.  If you look back to the time of Ruth, her story took place in the time of the judges – a time of disobedience, idolatry and violence.  These were dark days for Israel, when “everyone did as he saw fit.”  Sound familiar?  So to think that Ruth had it any easier than we do in modern society would be fooling ourselves.  So how do we, like Ruth, safeguard our special treasure and stay women of purity?  We will spend the next week trying to figure it all out together.

The deadliest deception we face in today’s society is that we should seek its ultimate pleasures because that will give us the least pain.  More often than not, the exact opposite is true.  As far as guidance on the topic of sex before marriage, look no farther than our Heavenly Father.  God intends for us to enjoy the pleasure of sex within marriage only.  The joy of such an intimate act between two people is maximized when both of you remain pure.  We, especially as women, can get caught up in the fantasy of it, the romance of it, but there is always the truth, His truth: Sex is special!  Not sensuous sex, but satisfying sex in your Creator’s will and time.

We are worth more my dear women of faith.  We are worth more than a temporary pleasure that is likely to lead to the sting of regret.  We are worth more than having a man try to lure you into something you don’t want, by using manipulation.  We are worth the joy and pleasure and love that our Heavenly Father has waiting for us.  Believe it, believe Him.

LET’S PRAY

Father, it is so easy for us to be lured by the traps of today’s society and the pleasure seeking, selfish ways of this world.  But we know you have so much more for us.  We are a precious gift, not to be given away freely.  Help to give us strength when we feel weak.  Show each and every woman reading this her worth.  We are special, and in Your strength we prepare to give ourselves only to the man you have chosen specifically for us in your will and in your time.  We ask this in Your Holy Name.  Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Is staying pure a difficult aspect to your single life?  Is it something that is easy for you to cope with?  In either situation, why do you think that is?  What strategies do you have, or can you come up with, to help stay pure in today’s world?

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Two-Way Conversation

October 30, 2012 by

Today we will be starting meditations. We will do these once or twice a week through the rest of our study. This is to get you to pray about, think about and write about some of the topics that we have been discussing. It is not enough to simply read the individual quotes, write a few words, and then move on. The authors, as well as Jackie and I, encourage you to prayerfully meditate on these powerful truths. As you do so, these meditations can become a powerful resource that will draw you into a deeper level of intimacy with Jesus and prepare you for deeper relationships with those around you.

 

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Some tips for doing your meditations:
• Find a quiet place where you can be alone
• Read each passage several times
• Allow the Spirit to enter into your presence and thoughts

 

Quote from pages 161 – 162 in Lady in Waiting:

Meditative reading is choosing some important practical or speculative truth, always preferring the practical, and proceeding thus: whatever truth you have chosen, read only a small portion of it, endeavoring to taste and digest it, to extract the essence and substance of it, and proceed no farther while any savor or relish remains in the passage: then take up the book again, and proceed as before, seldom reading more than half a page at a time.

It is not the quantity that is read, but the manner of reading, that yields us profit. Those who read fast, reap no advantage, than a bee would by only skimming over the surface of a flower, instead of waiting to penetrate into it, and extract its sweets. Much reading is rather for scholastic subjects, than divine truths; to receive profit from spiritual books, we must read as I have described; and I am certain that if that method were pursued, we should become gradually habituated to prayer by our reading, and more fully disposed for its exercise.

With all that being said, here is your meditation for today:

 

Two-Way Conversation

Have you ever tried to develop an intimate relationship with Jana Jabberbox? She’s the gal that has lots to say and loves to hear herself say it. You try to say something when she takes a breath – which isn’t often – but she keeps right on talking. She never listens. It’s a one-way conversation, and you are left out. Even when someone is very special to you, you do not get too excited with a steady monologue. Listening is an important part of developing a closeness with someone else. If you want to get to know the Lord, you must seek Him not only with a whole, clean, and pure heart, but also with a listening heart.

As you spend time with God during your daily devotional time, learn to listen to Him as you read of His love and thoughts about you in the Bible. Think about what He is saying to you personally. Sit silently and write what impressions come to your listening heart. As you read and study His love letters, the Bible, you begin to see what He really thinks of you and what wonderful plans He has for you. As a result, your devotion grows and grows.

LET’S PRAY
Father God, we treasure our time with you. So many times we talk incessantly about our needs, our wants, our hopes and dreams. We know that you love hearing our cares, but we also know you love to speak to us also. Help us to slow down in our prayer and devotional time so that we can hear from You. It is You who guide us, and without taking the time to listen to the guidance we will become lost. Thank you Jesus for your patience and love as we continue the process of drawing close to you.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT
Please share your thoughts on today’s meditation, either in full or in part, below as well as in our Facebook group. Our hope is that you take the time to journal these meditations so that you have them to look back on and use them to help you grow.

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Lady of Devotion

October 28, 2012 by

 

Wow girls!  I can’t believe that we have made it through our first month of our study!  I know it has stretched a lot of us, and it has been difficult for many of us, but ladies – we are doing it!  This is what God wants.  God wants us healed.  He wants us close.  He wants our undivided attention right now.  I am proud of each and every one of you for taking this journey and wanting to be the best you can be, no matter what your marital situation.  Remember, that doesn’t define you, our Lord and Savior does!

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Here is our reading assignment for Chapter 5, you will notice we will be adding some meditations this week, we hope they bless you and help you carve out some time to spend with Him:

October 29:      Lady of Devotion – Jackie
October 30:      Meditation – Michelle
October 31:      Seeking True Love  – Tonya
November 1:    Meditation – Katie
November 2:    An Advantageous Position  – Diane

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LET’S PRAY

Lord Jesus thank you.  Thank you for loving us so completely.  Thank you for continuing to draw us close even when we wander.  I pray for each and every lady in this study.  I know that life circumstances sometimes seem to get in the way of the study, or other things seem more important, but Lord we know that it is time with you that is truly most important.  Help each of us make time to dedicate not only to you, but to this study.  You know each woman’s struggle, you know the challenges they face.  Come along side of them and give them the strength they need to continue.  Thank you Lord, we love you and are so grateful for you.  In Your Name we pray.  Amen

In Him,

Michelle

For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Chance Rendezvous

October 16, 2012 by

It all comes down to trust.  It seems to always come down to trust, doesn’t it?  No matter what the situation, no matter what we are waiting for, no matter how hurt we are, no matter what decisions we make, it all comes down to that word, “trust”.  So tell me, do you like to take things into your own hands, or do you trust God?

As I was reading today’s passage I had to smile.  If we are honest, we have to admit we have all done something to try to cause that “chance” rendezvous.  I can’t say I have joined a ministry to be closer to a man I was interested in, or that I have switched churches to find a more singles-rich environment, but yes, I have lingered at times, hoping for a chance to say hello or have a conversation.  I have also gone to an event because there was more of a chance that there would be single males there, even if I weren’t 100% interested in the event itself.

I struggle with “putting myself out there”.  To say there is a shortage of single men in my church would be an understatement.  As I sit here and think about it, there are probably less than 10 men that would be appropriate for me to even consider as a possibility (and that may be being generous) and if I am not involved in church activities, I am involved in my son’s activities, which means even if I am around men, they are married dads.  So yes, sometimes I wonder how I will ever meet someone if I am never around single Christian men.  That is when I can fall into the trap of taking things into our own hands.

The hard part, for me, is knowing what is walking in faith, and what is taking things into my own hands.  Is going to an event I am not totally sold on walking in faith, because I need to give God opportunities and sitting in my house or at my singles starved church won’t do that?  Or is it taking things into my own hands because it’s not something I would have normally chosen to attend and I am trying to force God’s hand?

Another time this question comes up for me is when the topic of online dating comes up.  Some (married) friends have asked me whether I have considered doing e-Harmony or another Christian dating site.  Cost aside, I have the same questions.  Is that really having faith in God if I go onto these sites, or am I trying to speed up a process that God may already have in place that has nothing to do with the computer?  Is it opening myself up to temptations when I should be focusing somewhere else?  Or will God use this method to give me the man He has been preparing for me?   How do we know?  We need to check our hearts.

The last part of the passage really made me think.  How is your heart preparation?  When we get ready for church, or a singles event, or a small group, whatever it is, and you know “he” or “they” will be there, do you spend as much time preparing your heart, like Ruth, as you do preparing your physical appearance, like Orpah?  I can humbly and honestly say I never even thought of doing something like that.  I make sure I shower, do my hair, makeup, try to find a cute outfit, the whole deal.  I have never taken even 10 minutes to spend praying and talking to God.  Think about the difference that might make.  Not only will we look cute, but our heart is softened and opened to the will of God.

When we talk to someone at church, maybe we won’t be thinking about saying the right thing, we will know that God will give us the right words.  How does that sound?  Instead of wondering if we should be spending time with this man, we will be open to the nudging of the spirit and He will let us know if we are where we belong.  Don’t we want a man that is interested in more than what we have on the outside? I am reminded of the quote, “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.” Well then ladies, I urge you, spend just as much time preparing your inside as you do preparing your outside.  Then you will be amazingly beautiful to the man God has for you.

Let’s Pray
Lord I ask You to work on our hearts today.  We may not always have the purest of motives, even when we think we do.  But You know.  You know what is in our hearts.  According to Your word “All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord” (Proverbs 16:2).  Help us to discern our true motives when we make the choices we do.  We want to have a heart like You, and we need You to help us with that.  Help us to trust You, to truly believe that Your plans are the best plans for us.  Through the tough situations, the waiting, the hurts, the hard choices, help us to know You are there for us and, as always, have only the best intentions for us.  We love You Lord and want Your will for us.  Amen.

Your Assignment:
Please leave a comment below about chance rendezvous that you have tried to create.

 

Thoughts to ponder:

Have you ever made a major decision based on finding a mate?  If so, what was the outcome?  How about the little things we do?  Share some experiences you have had.

When getting ready to go somewhere do you spend as much time on heart preparation as you do on physical preparation?  If so, have you seen a difference?  Is this a new concept for you?  If it is, do you intend on making any changes?

God bless,

Michelle

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If you are interested in joining us in this Online Bible Study, click on the “Sign-Up Here” button at the top of the page, and follow the instructions.  Once we receive your request, you will be added to a group.

 

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Lady in Waiting: Lady of Faith

October 14, 2012 by

Oh girls…I wish I had the words to express how wonderful I think you all are!  I am enjoying the sharing and growing that I am seeing in our group already.  Is this book amazing or what?  I know it is speaking to me (even when it’s hard!)  Are you ready for week 3?  I know I am.  Here are our reading assignments for the week.  Let Jackie or I know if you have any questions.

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Here is your Reading Assignment for Week #3

Monday, Oct 15: Lady of Faith / Where the Boys Are – Jackie

Tuesday, Oct 16: Chance Rendezvous – Michelle

Wednesday, Oct 17th: Eyes of Faith – Tonya

Thursday, Oct 18th: Divine Encounter – Katie

Friday, Oct 19th: Meeting Across Continents – Diane

 

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Let’s Pray:
Abba Father, I lift all of the women in our group up to You.  You know their heart Father.  You know their pains and their joys.  I ask You to strengthen them where they are weak, and reach out to others in service where they are strong.  Teach us to embrace the single life and truly believe it is not a curse, but a gift from You.  Draw us closer Lord.  We love You.

Blessings,

Michelle

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Lady in Waiting: Full Place Setting, Enviable Singleness and Unrelenting Pursuit

October 9, 2012 by

As I read the passages for today, two very distinct ideas came through for me. In trying to decide what to talk about, I felt I should share the full spectrum of my feelings while I read and re-read the passage, so I will try to talk about both without too much confusion!

In “Full Place Setting”, the authors talk about a friend who, at first, was saving her best for when she found her future husband and got married.  When she realized she didn’t need someone in her life to treat herself to the best she had to offer, it freed her.  She deserved china and crystal just as much as a single woman as she would as a married woman.  I agree with this 100%.  While I may not have china or some of the finer things in life, I do like to treat myself to things like manicures or a good haircut.  I like to use glasses and not plastic cups.  I like to wear pretty pajamas.  To do less implies that we are worth less without a husband and that is simply untrue.  So I am reading and thinking “Hey – I got this…no problem…finally something I don’t struggle with!”

Then I thought of it.  My mattress.  Yes, my mattress.  I moved out of my parent’s house when I was 26.  I had to buy all new furniture, and my new queen bed, finally graduating from the twin I had slept in all my life!  I am now 41.  This mattress is 15 years old.  It has rips, it sags, I constantly flip it, but it doesn’t take long before I need to do it all over again.  Now why am I telling you about my beat up mattress?  Guess what I say every time I wake up with a sore back, or I am changing the sheets and I see the rips or handles falling off?  “When I get married, I’ll get a new mattress set.  It will be a fresh beginning.”  My mattress is my “paper plates”!  Do I not deserve a good night sleep as a single woman?  To wake up without pain?  To feel like I am worth more than rips, tears and a big sag.  I don’t have to wait until I will be sharing my bed with a man to get a new mattress.  I am worth it all on my own!  (Now to find the money!  )

Now, in the rest of the passage I was called to look inward and see if I am doing all I can in service during my time as a single woman in Christ. I feel that I have fully embraced this time as a pursuit of Jesus and service.  My situation is a little different, because I am a single mom of a 5 year old boy.  Some may use this as a reason not to do as much at church, but have looked at the last 3+ years as a great way to include my son in the life of the church, so that he develops a love for it as much as I have.  I will not lie.  I have a lot on my plate, and I have been praying for guidance in whether God still wants me in all the places he has me.  That does not mean that I don’t enjoy everything I am involved in (or it wouldn’t be so hard to think about letting something go!), but admittedly it is a juggling act and sometimes I am very grateful for grace!

If you have not gotten involved at your church yet, I wholeheartedly encourage you to do so.  Pray to see where God leads you, think about what you enjoy, and if you don’t like babies I wouldn’t suggest the nursery as your first volunteer experience!   God may surprise you.  When I was first saved, I felt the calling of God clearly in the areas of youth and music.  I got involved in youth group right away, but it wasn’t until a few months ago that it became my time to get involved in the Worship Team.  Be sensitive to the spirit.  One place I never thought I would be is the head of women’s ministries in the church, but the fruit I have seen from serving in this ministry is truly humbling.

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One of the best ways to combat feeling sorry for ourselves in our time alone is to serve others in need. So ladies, take some time to pray today.  Where does our Lord want you?  Where can you be of service to Him? In your church?  In the missions field?  In your local community?  My guess is that God knows exactly where you belong, and can’t wait to see you shine! And remember, use the fine china along the way!

Let’s Pray
Lord I know that you have amazing experiences in store for every woman reading these words right now.  Help them to see where they are needed.  If they already faithfully serve you, give them the strength to continue on their path.  All that we do is for Your glory.  At times it is easy to focus inward on ourselves, and our situation.  Jesus help us to be humble as we serve and be reminded that it’s not all about us.  We are needed, we are useful, and we deserve to give ourselves the best along the way.  In your Holy Name we pray.  Amen

Your Assignment
Please leave a comment below sharing your experiences with service.  Do you currently serve in your church or other organization?  If so, how does that help you?  Does it help you?
If you are not currently serving, what things are you interested in that could lead to service opportunities?  Have you prayed for guidance?  Talked to someone at your church?  What would you like to see come out of that experience?

Blessings,

Michelle

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