November 22, 2024

Winning Him Without Words: “It’s Safe to Relinquish Control”

October 9, 2012 by

Control.

Why do we desperately hold onto it? What are we afraid of? I will be the first to admit that I am a control freak. Since returning to Christ two years ago, God has repeatedly revealed my controlling tendencies and convicted me of them, especially in the realm of my marriage. It is not pretty. I am not sure how my husband lives with me, but I am thankful that the Lord is showing me a better way and that my husband has a measure of patience. When I took a good look in the mirror, I realized that I needed to focus on saving myself, not my husband.

So, I can relate to this whole chapter in a big way. But this section on control . . . I felt like Lynn was talking directly to me.

Even though God has been working on me, I do not have it all together. There is still that part of me that wonders… can I really, truly, 100%, no holds barred, relinquish this salvation-of-my-husband-thing to God? Some days I think I can. Other days I am not so sure. I will release it to God one day and the next day, I will take it back.

Why is it so hard?

As Lynn Donovan states on page 44:

  • I am the only believer my husband encounters on a regular basis
  • I am the one person who is actively praying for him
  • If I do not show my husband Jesus, who will?

And two of my own . . . the ones that lies in the deepest recesses of my heart. The ones that are hard to even type. What if I never get to see my husband come to faith? What if he does not get saved? If I do not become actively involved in my husband’s salvation, then who will?

Well, Lynn smacked me upside the head humbled me with her next statement:

All of this is true, yet you are underestimating the power of the Lord in your life.

Ouch!

Lord, I am so very sorry.

Why do I keep trying to BE God in my husband’s life? God is certainly capable of handling things just fine on His own, thankyouverymuch. I mean, He grabbed me without anyone bombarding me with open Bibles or Christian music. So, why am I trying to do it for someone else?

Lynn tells us that two things will happen when we finally let go of our foolish and unproductive efforts to save our men:

  1. We will discover new freedom – the pressure we feel to bring our spouse to Christ will lift. We can just enjoy our spouse for the man that he is.
  2. Our husbands’ will experience freedom – he will no longer need to feel uncomfortable or try to deflect our crazy attempts to bring him to faith. He can RELAX around us. Our faith will become LESS OF A THREAT in his eyes. It will free him to explore faith at his own pace, in his own time, at GOD’s leading.

Ladies, I am right there with you. I am scared. I can talk a good game and feel like I am living it sometimes, but other times I take it all back and try to do it on my own. It is hard to relinquish that control. But, God really does have this. He wants our husbands’ to know Him and to love Him even more than we do. Our God will never stop pursuing the lost and bringing them to Himself (read Luke 15:3-10). In fact, when we step in and try to take on God’s job, we just get in the way and make more work for God! Are you ready to put your husband’s salvation in God’s hands and truly let go and let God handle it?

*****

Let’s Pray:

Father God, in the name of our mighty Savior, Jesus Christ, I ask you to give each woman in this study a courageous strength to release their husband’s salvation into your capable hands. We know that you love our husbands’ even more than we do, Lord, and you want a deep and abiding relationship with each of them. Help us to get out of Your way and to let You do the work in our husbands’ hearts and lives. Please reveal anything in our own lives that we are doing that is causing angst or stress to our husbands’ and marriages and help us to repent of it. In your name we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:

Tell us why it is difficult to fully let go of your husband’s salvation and give it completely over to God.

Many blessings to you,

Jennifer

*****

Join the Winning Him Without Words Bible Study!

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Winning Him Without Words: “Don’t save your husband – save yourself”

October 8, 2012 by

This is something I have run through my mind about so many times, thousands of times.  I have gotten up on Sunday mornings and wondered Lord will today be the day that my man will surrender everything to You? I look at him as he is lying in the bed and think well it could be Beverly!   I picture him getting up and saying honey I think I will go to church with you today (oh and by the way he did go with me yesterday)….I picture him going into the church service…I picture him headed to the pastor telling him “I want to surrender”…..oh what a day that will be!!!

But at this time after years of praying, waiting, and hoping, that is still what I am doing, praying, waiting and hoping.

My husband and I met 37 years and married 33 years ago. At first he attended church with me and then slowly stopped going  (which now makes me wonder did he go just for show back then)…until one day he stopped going all together except for special things.

God kept drawing me closer into a relationship with Him and yet my relationship with my husband was not growing the way “I” wanted because I now had something I wanted both of us to have but he was not at that point yet.  Oh, other aspects of our marriage were great but this was something that was a standing wall between us.

Yes I could have written the handbook on how NOT to win your spouse to Christ.

I was not a total “Jesus freak.” I would come home and make him sit and listen (I just thought he was listening) to things I was learning in God’s Word. I even packed gospel tracts in his lunch. Most of the time all of which he avoided.

There were times we would be at odds with each other. I would sometimes find that I would blame some of our marital problems on his unsaved status. After all, I thought if we were both Christians, life would be “happy-ever-after.” Or so I imagined. I would begin trying harder to ensure he was hearing God’s messages by playing my Christian music and scattering opened Bibles around the house. Every once and awhile he would go with me to church, but instead of enjoying him sitting next to me in church, I’d sit there chewing nervously on the end of my pen, praying madly that this would be “The Day”, and when it wasn’t, I would quiz him in the car on the way home, “What did you think of the sermon? Did you like the music?”

“It was okay,” he’d say. And his thoughts would turn to “What we gonna eat for lunch?”

The rest of the ride home, I’d sit and fight back tears or angry words. Why couldn’t he see his need for Christ I would ask myself.

One day I met this lady who had told me Beverly pray for him no matter how many years you have to and “DON’T GIVE UP”, so I made that commitment to pray either until I die or he surrenders. And I’m going to love him through every day. Period.

That was 33 years ago ladies—and I’m still praying and still loving. But I’m no longer pining away in self-absorbed isolation waiting desperately for my husband’s salvation to bring marital fulfillment. Instead, I’ve decided no matter how many years, I want those years to be as enjoyable as possible for the both of us, despite our spiritual differences.

God has a plan for each life. And no matter how hard I try, I cannot transform someone else’s heart. I can’t coerce, sweet-talk, or plead my husband into being a Christian. In fact, when I do try, it only drives him away.

I decided long ago to accept that it’s God’s job to change hearts. That decision frees me to pursue my relationship with God without the added burden of having to bring my husband to faith. All I have to do is love and enjoy him. That’s God’s plan for me, and he gives me all the grace I need to accomplish it.

That doesn’t mean I’m not lonely at times or that I do everything right.

Pray, pray, pray. Prayer is my link to God’s presence, power, wisdom, and comfort.

I will “Never” give up hope. God offers everyone the same gift of salvation and eternal life. Some choose to accept it, and others don’t. But all who accept the gift do so in God’s timing, not ours. God knows what he’s doing.

I don’t understand why God does what he does, but I will trust God while I wait.

The truth is, I might not ever see my husband walk a church aisle, and surrender his life but that’s okay. I have hope that I’ll see him walk through heavens gate. In the meantime, I will live my life as an godly example and leave it all with God and let Him do His work.

Let’s Pray

God help us to realize we have no control in changing our husbands, change comes from You so help us all to leave our sweet husbands in Your hands. In your name I pray Amen!

Your assignment:

Share with us one thing that you have done to try and get your husband to accept Christ as his Savior.

For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Blessings to all of you this week

Love, Beverly

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Winning Him Without Words: Don’t Save Your Husband – Save Yourself!

October 7, 2012 by

 

What can we expect from Chapter 2, you ask?  The answer is short, sweet, and simple: How not to spiritually ambush your spouse!  Okay, maybe not “simple”.  While I read this chapter, all I could think of was how many times I could relate to what Lynn was sharing!!  I had to chuckle at how many of the “ambush attempts” she mentioned, were things I had tried in the past, too!!  haha!

It was SO IMPORTANT to ME that my husband understood just how important salvation was, that I would like a Nazi trying to ambush his every waking moment to get him to give his life to Jesus!  HELLO!! Can you say “Bible-thumper”????  Yes, that’s who I was!   But God…..

Ohhhhh, But God began to show me some things about my walk with Him; and some things about my husband’s walk with Him!

He began to show me what was my responsibility, and what was HIS (God’s) responsibility!  I had to learn to give God control of my husband’s salvation.  I had to learn to trust God!  I had to tell myself over and over again “God’s Got This!”  That is my favorite mantra now, in everything:  “God’s Got This!!  I wonder today just how many times God looked down and said “Good Grief Girlfriend, I’ve Got This!!! Let It Go!!!”

Letting Go was the key!  The key to not only my peace of mind, but to my husband’s salvation.  I had to learn to let go and get out of God’s way, so that He could do what He needed to do … without my interference!!  I was never going to save my husband!  I didn’t have the ability to save my husband….ONLY GOD DID!  I had to get out of God’s way!

I had to stop nagging him about reading his Bible.  I had to stop leaving Christian material lying around everywhere, so he would see it.  I had to stop talking.  I had to start listening!  But most importantly, instead of nagging, I had to start praying!!!  I had to get on my knees every day and pray, asking the Lord not only for my husband’s salvation, but asking God to help me stay out of His way, so He could do what He needed to do in my husband’s life!  Girlfriend you have no idea how many times I had to almost put duct tape on my mouth to shut me up!!!  My husband probably wanted to do that a time or two, as well! haha!! (I can laugh about that today….!!!)

GOD’S

GOT THIS.

So back to Chapter 2.  Here is your Reading Assignment for this week!  Remember, each day you have a certain section to read so you can follow along with our blog posts.  We take a chapter a week, and break it into sections and blog about each section.  That way it gives us a way to really focus on that particular section!  THEN we go back to our Facebook Discussion Group, and talk about that section just a tad bit deeper!  I hope you will join us!  Click HERE if you would like to sign up for this study and join our FB Group!

YOUR READING ASSIGNMENT:

Monday: Oct 8 –

Don’t Save Your Husband – Save Yourself –  Beverly

Tuesday: Oct 9 –

It’s Safe to Relinquish Control –  Jennifer

Wednesday: Oct 10 –

Throw Me a Life Preserver  – Donna

Thursday: Oct 11 –

A Daily Prayer / How Should We Pray – Sarah

Friday: Oct 12 –

Weekly Review / Discovery / Prayer – Martha

Let’s Pray:

Oh Heavenly Father, as we read through this chapter this week, open our eyes Lord to see what You have for us!!  Open our hearts Lord so we are able to receive from You.  Lord, I pray against any hindrances that may stop us from reading this week, or participating in the discussion group.  Lord I know that the message in this book is such a powerful message for those of us who are unequally yoked!

Father, help us to see clearly how we are in Your way, and what we need to do to get out of Your way!  MOVE US out of the way, if You have to, Lord!

Lord, I pray for the unbelieving spouse of each reader that comes to our blog each day, and I ask for a Spirit of righteousness to fall upon them!  Bless them Lord, with a thirst for salvation!  A thirst so powerful that nothing will quench it…but You Jesus!  Repair hearts Lord that have been damaged in the past by “religion” and “legalism” Lord.  Set the captives FREE, Lord, In Your Precious Name, AMEN!

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Have you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior?  Would you like someone to pray with you?

Email our Prayer Ministry at Robin@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com.  Someone from our Prayer Team will contact you shortly!

Enjoy your reading this week!  I’ll see you in the Women’s Group!  🙂

In His Love,

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Winning Him Without Words: Jesus with “Skin On” / Weekly Review

October 5, 2012 by

 

The young mother tucked her little boy in bed, turned off the lights, and walked out of his room.  It was then she heard him cry out:  “Mom, turn the lights back on; I’m scared of the dark.”  The mother walked back into his room to reassure him.  “Now, son, don’t be afraid, Jesus is here with you.”  To which he replied:  “I know Jesus is in here with me, but I want somebody with some skin on!”

Can we admit that we all have felt that way?  “Yes, I know you are near Jesus, but, I really want someone to pray and study your word with me, someone to sit beside me in church, and most of all, Jesus, I want to talk to someone about I much I love YOU.   That someone is my husband.  Won’t you please tell him to come into the room with me?  I am scared of being in this dark room alone.”

Thirty eight years have passed since the day I accepted Jesus as my Savior, and my husband still hasn’t shown up in that dark room with me.  But, my goodness how God has blessed me by sending so many Jesus with “Skin On” people!  They brought light into my dark and lonely room!

Allow me to introduce a few of them to you.

  1. Jackie:  Always saved a seat for me in church so I wouldn’t have to sit alone.

  2. Gerry, Beth, Gloria:  Spent hours cleaning their homes for the weekly bible study.  Oh, yes, Beth Moore  taught me much, but it was these ladies who made it possible by opening up their homes to me and all the other ladies.

  3. Sylvia, Irene, Susan:  Prophets that God used to give me a prophetic word at times when I thought I couldn’t take another step.

  4. My Pastor:  Preached sermons that I know he prepared just for me!

  5. Melba, my pastor’s wife:  Gave me opportunities in ministry.  Quite frankly, I had always thought that I couldn’t go into ministry with an unsaved husband. What do I have to offer if the head of my household is not serving the Lord?

I just know that these people will receive a special reward in heaven one day for being obedient to God, and being there for me.

But, I have to confess that when the journey stretches into years of being unequally yoked as it has for me, there is a tendency to grow weary.  As the year 2010 was drawing to a close, I felt like I had reached my limits. “When is this man, my high school sweetheart, father of our two daughters, and grandfather of three going to fall down at the feet of Jesus?”  I felt the lights being turned off in the room again.

And then one day in March, 2011, God showed up with a whole army of Jesus with “Skin On” people.  It happened like this.

I stumbled upon the book, Winning Him Without Words by Lynn and Dineen.  In all my many years of being unequally yoke, I had never read a book about the unequally yoked, nor had I been associated with anyone “like me.”  But, God in his perfect timing introduced me to these two ladies, along with their community of women on their website, Spiritually Unequal Marriage.  And then, He introduced me to you, my friends, at Girlfriends Coffee Hour.

I’m not alone in the dark room anymore. – -I’m hanging out with – – Jesus with “Skin On” people from all over the U.S. and world who are “just like me!”

As for my husband?   “He has made  everything beautiful in its time.” [Ecc. 3:11]

Let’s Pray:  

Father God, I ask you in the name of your son, Jesus, that every lady taking this course be blessed with Jesus with “Skin On” people so that they will not sit in a dark room alone.  We need each other to help us walk out our lives before our husbands according to 1 Peter 3.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:  

Who are your Jesus with Skin On people?  Take time today, not only to thank God for them, but call or send them a note expressing your appreciation for being with you on your journey.  For starters, list them in the comment section.

***********

And now, as we come to the close of the first chapter of Winning Him Without Words, review this past week:

Monday:  Know That You are not Alone:  Beverly pointed to page 27 in our book that described her feelings of being alone: yearns for her husband to sit with her, feel his arm come around her shoulder, desires to have him look up Bible verses together,  hold her hand after they found it.  But, Beverly made a decision she has stuck with for 33 years.

  • Stopped worrying about her husband, and left him in God’s hands.

  • Kept going to church and serving God in areas that He led her into.

  • Kept asking her hubby to come with her.

  • Took her children with her so they could learn about Jesus.

  • And thanks God that He is sitting with her in that pew, along with  friends who support, embrace, and pray for her.

May we do likewise.

Tuesday:  The Alone Factor:  Jennifer pointed us to reality:  we are alone by not having a spiritual connection with our husbands, and it hurts.  But, she learned the real truth:

We live for a Savior who desires to do life with us. That actually gives me a sense of peace. I am truly not alone in this. Our Heavenly Father is walking right alongside us, infusing us with power and strength every single day. He knows the aching of our hearts. He knows our longings. He wants the same thing for our husbands and for our marriages. He will not leave us flailing.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:20(b), NIV)

May we do likewise.

Wednesday:  Is it Possible to Thrive in a Mismatched Marriage?  Donna assures us that we can thrive in a mismatched marriage and this is how she learned to do it:

When I let God be in control he takes away the anxiety of my life. God meets me right where I am and meets hubby where he is too. My marriage can grow and THRIVE!! I can rest assured God has our backs in this marriage-After all he created marriage! All I need do is get off my “throne” and hand my scepter over to God, pray for my husband and let God work!

May we do likewise.

Thursday:  Placing Christ On The Throne:  Sarah makes a statement that all of us could probably admit to when she says:  To surrender your power and control is a hard thing to do. Some may say impossible.

But, Sarah has made a commitment to start each day with the following prayer no matter how silly she may feel: Jesus, right now as I begin this new day, I surrender my place of authority over my life to You.  I am placing You firmly on the throne of my life.  Teach me to focus on Your desires for living.  I give you my entire life this day.  In Your powerful name Jesus.  Amen

May we do likewise.

________________________________________________________________________

For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Above all, if you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, and would like to have someone pray with you, please email our Prayer Team Leader:  Robin@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com, and one of our prayer team members will contact you.

Blessings to you,

Martha

 

 

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Winning Him Without Words: Placing Christ on the Throne

October 4, 2012 by

And Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

MATTHEW 28:20

_________________________

Placing Christ On The Throne by Sarah Boyer

To surrender you power and control is a hard thing to do. Some may say impossible. But by relinquishing all the power to Jesus and letting him fill your heart, mind and soul, you will experience the greatest feeling of peace. I know; I’ve done it.

I am a control freak and a worrier. If I don’t have a perfectly laid out plan for everything in my life, I feel out of control, unorganized and frazzled. I am not at rest until I have that plan! This is something Jesus has been tugging at me to fix. I am a work in progress, but this is how I am evolving:

I used to sit and make MY plan of how I think things should go.

My plan would fail and I’d become anxious, angry and uptight, snipping and yelling at everyone in my path.

Then I’d start all over again with a new plan.

Big Fat Fail! It never occurred to me to ask Jesus what His plan was for me! I always thought that Jesus didn’t care about my little day-to-day affairs. He only cared about the big stuff, where I should go to college, whom I should marry, live etc.

I’ve recently learned that Jesus wants to guide your every move, from the little things such as what you eat all the way to the big stuff such as how to speak with your non-believing spouse. It’s sort of like how you help your children. You help them make the simple choices in hopes that when the big decisions come, they will come to you for guidance. Jesus wants to do the same. He wants to guide you through it all. This brings to mind Proverbs 16:9: The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.

So this is my new plan!  

I am going to start each day with this prayer from now on!

It is suggested in our study today, that you get out of bed and fall to your knees when you say this prayer. At first when I started doing this, I felt silly. Not because my husband would see me and judge me because he leaves for work 3 hours before I even get up. But because I felt foolish. Isn’t that silly? No one around but me and Jesus and I felt silly. But I made myself do it and have been doing it for the past few days and the foolish feeling is wearing off and the peace and comfort of surrendering to Jesus is taking over. I’ll trade that for foolishness any day! Besides, what better way to start your day then arming yourself with the power of Jesus inside you?

I am now better prepared to handle anything that comes along throughout the day because all I have to do is recall our simple prayer, surrender my authority of the situation and give it to Jesus to handle. And He always does!

Let’s Pray:

Dear Lord, I pray that you can help us all to surrender our authority over to you. Remind us there is no problem big or small for you to handle for us. Please fill our heart, mind and soul with your leadership so that the troubling, painful and fearful circumstances of our lives lose their power. We can do all things through you. In Jesus name, amen.

Your Assignment:

Your assignment today is to write out a prayer that you will begin praying each day, just after you get up. A prayer that gives Jesus control of your day. A prayer that asks Him to direct your day, so you can stay on task for the things that He wants of you. Post this prayer in the comment section below, so we can be praying with you, as well.

If you are interested in joining us in our Women’s Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups!

Godspeed!

Sarah

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Winning Him Without Words: Is it possible to thrive?

October 3, 2012 by
Is it possible to thrive in a mismatched marriage?
 “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you”
Hebrews 13:5
Like Lynn, one of our authors, I too remember a time in my marriage where I was on my “throne”. I married this man, shouldn’t he meet my every need?
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Shouldn’t he greet me in the morning, with no morning breath, and bring me breakfast , in bed cooked just the way I like it? bring me my morning coffee as he goes out the door to work? And shouldn’t he be available to help me with the kids or housework or laundry? After all wasn’t he my Husband, partner, my life-mate? Aren’t we supposed to be doing this together? I know that sounds absurd, but I really did think that!
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Thinking only of myself and judging him from my “throne”- it’s a lonely and sometimes angry place to be. My husband is a believer, but I think whether you are both believers or not, As we go through this life together we are not always on the same page, Spiritually speaking. The highs and lows of our life and walk with God come sometimes at different times for us. Until I realized that I was actually trying to push him to where I was, then God would speak to me and remind me that I was only responsible for my walk with Him. God would take care of my husband and his choices.
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WOW! What freedom I felt then! I could love my husband, have fun with him, live life and raise our children, and not worry about where he was with God. The unreal expectations I had for my husband were just that- unreal! My husband will never fulfill all my needs, he can’t!  But God can, if I let Him.
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I can rest and know God will take care of all of it  My husband as well as myself. When I let God be in control he takes away the anxiety of my life. God meets me right where I am and meets hubby where he is too. My marriage can grow and THRIVE!! I can rest assured God has our backs in this marriage-After all he created marriage!
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When we yield our marriage to the Lord of life-He takes it and molds it. He works together and sometimes individually on each of us to make our union the best it can be. All I need do is get off my “throne” and hand my scepter over to God, pray for my husband and let God work! He will never leave me or forsake me. Like Lynn says: recognize Jesus is with you always and is intimately involved in our marriage and that is life changing!
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 Let’s pray:
God we want to get off our “throne” and hand it over to you. Help us to love our husbands no matter where they are with You. I pray we can yield our marriage to You and rest assured You will take good care of it because You WANT our marriage to be successful. Be the Lord of our life and marriage I pray in Jesus name-amen
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Your assignment:
I sometimes struggle, because I am a control freak, with letting my husband make decisions for our family so I pray daily that I will leave him and the decisions he has to make to God. If you have the same “throne” problem I do tell us some of them and  ways you can get off the throne and hand your scepter t0 God.
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If you would like to join our Women’s Online Bible Study & Facebook Discussion Group, click on the “Sign-Up Form” button above, at the top of our page, and complete the sign-up form.  We’ll be glad to place you upon your request!!
God’s Blessings On Your Day,
Donna!
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Winning Him Without Words: “The Alone Factor”

October 2, 2012 by

 

We can depend on the Lord to show us where we are today in our marriage and where He wants us to be in the future. (Lynn Donovan, pg. 27)

My husband is not a believer. Although he supports me, he does not share my faith. I have come to accept his decision and respect his choice; however, there will always be a part of my life that I feel I cannot share with him.

And it hurts.

My belief in God began at a very young age. My relationship with Him began only two years ago; four years into my marriage. It was like a light bulb clicked on and life finally made sense to me. My friend invited me to a women’s retreat with her church. I accepted. And life has never been the same. But, my zeal for God seems to not make sense to my husband. At first, I had to hide my faith. I hid my Bible. When I was going to a Bible Study, I would tell him I was going to meet with some new friends from church. When we got in the car to go somewhere, I immediately changed the Christian radio station to the more mainstream station he prefers.

I had no idea how to act. I felt isolated and alone. There was this newfound blossoming of faith within me, but I could not share it with the one person who is closest to me. I felt like I was living a double life.

In fact, I still am.

I am still trying to figure out how to live this spiritually mismatched life. Although I have come a long way (I can now openly read my Bible in front of my husband and talk about my church activities without feeling uncomfortable), I still flounder. God still has much to teach me about honoring Him despite my circumstances.

“It matters not how we came to be in our crazy, mixed-up and unexpected marriage situation. What matters is that God desires that we honor our marriage commitment and fulfill our marriage vows through His power and His strength. We can’t do it on our own.” (Lynn, pg. 28)

Lynn’s message hit me at my core. God wants our marriages to be beautiful and thriving. He desires us to honor our commitment and fulfill our vows. And the only way we can do it is through HIS POWER and HIS STRENGTH.

We cannot do it on our own.

Did you catch that?

We cannot do it on our own.

And why would we want to?

We live for a Savior who desires to do life with us. That actually gives me a sense of peace. I am truly not alone in this. Our Heavenly Father is walking right alongside us, infusing us with power and strength every single day. He knows the aching of our hearts. He knows our longings. He wants the same thing for our husbands and for our marriages. He will not leave us flailing.

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:20(b), NIV)

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Let’s Pray: Lord, help us to see and to understand that we truly are not alone in our mismatched marriages and that you are right there, walking side-by-side with us through every step. Show us how to release the pain that binds us and causes anguish in our spirit for our unsaved spouse. Provide us with your power and your strength to get through each day and teach us to fix our eyes solely on You, the One responsible for our husband’s salvation. In Jesus’ precious name, I pray, Amen.

Your Assignment: Leave a comment below telling us one thing you can do for your spouse today to honor God and your marriage.

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For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and fill out the form at the bottom of the page (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Blessings to you,

Jennifer

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Winning Him Without Words: “Know that You’re Not Alone”

October 1, 2012 by

 

When I realized I was the first blogger for this new study I have to admit I was very nervous, because this first chapter is one that hits hard on my heart.

I am one of those ladies who walks into my church every week without my hubby by my side.  Many years ago I was just like how this chapter described her entrance into church.

I looked for the closest seat to the back, so I could get in quick and out faster. I tried to make sure I was just a few minutes from service beginning before I walked in then I wouldn’t have very many people looking at me or wondering if others were following behind me.   It would allow me to slip in quick, slide in the pew and look down quickly at my bulletin, like I had been sitting there all the time.

When my husband and I were first married he attended church with me, but about 1-1/2 yrs.  later he slowly stopped going with me at all, and that is when the loneliness began to set in.

Back then I would ask him every Sunday if he would go with me and he kept saying “No”…I would sit in church week after week watching all the couples come in, slide into a pew, and then that is when it hit me…..that husband’s arm would come around his sweet wife’s shoulder and I would be so jealous that I wanted to move to another pew, but that didn’t help because there was just another couple doing the same on another pew.

They just had the “look” that I so wanted.  All these couples made me want to quit going to church all together….until one day God showed me:

“why are you looking at others, when you should be focused on me”…..WOW did He ever get my attention!

Here I was treating this like a ball game or a movie, when I should’ve been focusing my attention on what God was trying to teach me from His Word for my life, not the fact that I was sitting alone in church without my mate.

Pg. 26 of our study described my feelings exactly:

  • I yearned for my husband to be there to sit with me
  • I dreamed of feeling his arm come around my shoulder
  • I desired to have him look up a Bible verse together, then him holding my hand after we found it

God showed me years later that my responsibility in my marriage is my relationship with Christ, and that I don’t need to worry about my husband’s, that God will take care of that.

So ladies, that is what I did:

  • I kept going to church and serving God in areas that He led me to
  • I kept asking my hubby to come with me
  • I took our children with me so they could learn about Jesus

I have continued for 33 years serving Christ, yet serving alone (without my mate with me).

Thankfully God is sitting with me in that pew and friends are close by and support me, embrace me, and pray for me.

And ladies I will continue to:

  • Keep going to church and serve God where HE wants me
  • Keep asking my hubby to go with me
  • I will keep praying and asking God to open his heart
  • I will continue to look for that arm around my shoulder

 

Let’s pray:

God I pray that any of us who go alone to church without our spouse will stay encouraged, will focus on You and let You do the leading in our marriage.  In your name I pray, Amen!

Your assignment:

1. For those who attend church alone please share with us what God showed you that has helped you get through the feeling of loneliness at church without your mate.

2. For those of you that have had your mate with you the whole time in your marriage please give others encouraging words to help us get thru each week sitting in that pew alone.

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For those who may be reading this blog and are interested in joining this Bible study we would love to invite you to join us! The Sign-Up button is located at the top of our website page, in the Menu Bar section. Click on that button and follow the directions. It’s that simple! We hope to see you soon!”

Blessings,

Bev

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Winning Him Without Words … Our Journey Begins!

September 30, 2012 by

Good Morning!

My name is Christi Wilson, and I am the Founder of Girlfriends Coffee Hour and the Women’s Ministry Leader.  I, along with an amazing team of bloggers, will be leading you through this study, “Winning Him Without Words: 10 Keys to Thriving in a Spiritually Unequal Marriage” by Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller.

I want to welcome you to Girlfriends Coffee Hour!  We are a group of women all across the world who love the Lord Jesus, and are always looking for ways to better our walk with Him, and improve not only our selves, but our marriages, as well.

PLEASE be sure to read this blog post all the way through, as there are some very specific directions for you towards the end.

I can’t begin to tell you just how excited I am about this study!  Being involved in Women’s Online Bible studies for quite a while now, I have learned that many women across the world struggle being in spiritually unequal marriages!  It’s heartbreaking to hear some of their stories!

2 Corinthians 6:14 tells us to not be yoked to unbelievers. But what happens if you become a Christian AFTER you’re already yoked to an unbeliever?  You are going to love this book, if you are in this position today.  This book truly is an encouragement to all of us who are spiritually unequally yoked to an unbelieving spouse!

As I began reading this book, I wanted to write down all of the things I could find that would help explain to you what you can expect from this study.  I think you will be pleasantly surprised to learn that it IS possible to thrive in a spiritually mismatched marriage!  The authors of this book Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller, have an amazing way of making you feel right at home with this study!  They are real, authentic, funny, and so encouraging!  I’m sure you will begin to love them just as much as I do, once you dive into this study with us!

So, with all that said, I want to tell you what you CAN expect from this study:

  • you will experience the wonder of Scripture as it comes to life in this book
  • truths that will rock your world
  • fresh perspective and optimism
  • no matter “how” you arrived in your spiritually unequal marriage, God’s plan for your marriage and your future are fantastic and may take turns that are often unexpected
  • you will find that God is the Master of redeeming our past and our pain to reveal  a life He has always desired for you to live
  • you will discover a hope so wild that you will thrive in your challenging marriage
  • you will find healing and wholeness
  • you will find hope and practical tips
  • you will discover the key principles to thriving in your marriage
  • you will find prayer, support, encouragement, accountability, motivation, love, from other women, just like you, who are struggling or have struggled and found freedom in their spiritually unequal marriage, through Christ Jesus

Wow!  Now can you see why we are so very excited to go on this journey with you!!??

Let’s talk about HOW this Online Bible Study works.  

1.  Each SUNDAY, you will want to come here for your reading assignment for the week.

2.  Every Monday through Friday, you will come here to read what we have blogged about for that days lesson.  Saturday’s will be a day filled with DIY projects, crafts, recipes, homemaking tips, and more!!  🙂

3.  You can leave your comments in the comment section of this blog, if you wish.  We actually like it when you do because it gives us feedback on how we’re doing!  So please do comment!  Remember, anything shared here on our blog is open to the public.  It is not private.  HOWEVER, you do have the option of commenting anonymously, as well.

4.  Then you will go to the Facebook Online Bible Study Discussion Group that you have been assigned to, to discuss that days lesson just a bit deeper than we do here on the blog.  THIS is where you will be able to share openly and honestly without anyone outside of that group reading what you’ve posted.   This Facebook Group is set up to be a SECRET Facebook group.  That means two things:  1) No one outside of this group can even find this group, and 2) Everything shared within the group cannot be seen by anyone outside of the group!  How cool is that, huh?  We want to make sure that we provide a place for you to share your heart without the concerns of a friend or family member seeing what you are posting!  We take every precaution to make this a SAFE place for you!

That’s it!  Pretty Simple, huh??  There are just TWO places that you will want to check every day:  HERE (our blog) and Your Facebook Group!  It can’t get much easier than that!! 🙂

In your Facebook Group, we have a team of women put together for you that will be there to pray with you, and encourage you along the way.  They are members of our Prayer Team, who have specifically asked to be placed in the Women’s Ministry group.  They have a heart for prayer, and for women’s ministry!  I’m sure you will grow to love them just as much as we do!!

We also have an AMAZING Team of Bloggers, who will be blogging about this study!  You are going to love these women, and their hearts for the Lord, and for Women’s Ministry!  We took quite a while looking for the perfect women to work with us on this journey, and we believe we have found the perfect women for this study!  We can’t wait for you to meet them!  Their names are Beverly McCormick, Donna Day, Jennifer Mlenczynski, and Sarah Boyer.  Amazing Women!!!

Well, now it’s time to actually begin this study!!  Below you will find your reading assignment for each day, Monday thru Friday, and who will be blogging for that day!  So, let’s begin!!

Your Reading Assignment:

Oct 1 – Matthew 28:20 –  Introduction / Know You’re Not Alone –  Beverly

Oct 2 – The Alone Factor – Jennifer

Oct 3 – Is it Really Possible to Thrive / Mismatched Marriage – Donna

Oct 4 –  Placing Christ on the Throne – Sarah

Oct 5 –  Jesus With “Skin On” / Discovery / Prayer –  Christi

DON’T FORGET TO MARK YOUR CALENDARS!!

Tuesday, October 2nd, Conference Call Special Guest Speaker is:

Lynn Donovan

Co-Author of “Winning Him Without Words”

If you would like to take part in this call, please EMAIL US at:

Womens@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

YOU MUST BE A MEMBER OF THIS ONLINE BIBLE STUDY GROUP TO PARTICIPATE.

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Let’s Pray:

Father, as we begin this new journey learning how to thrive in spiritually unequal marriages, we ask Lord for Your wisdom, direction, discernment, and guidance.  We ask Lord that You open each heart that is represented in this study; prepare that heart Lord to receive what YOU have for them.  Remove the veils Father, so we can each clearly see what Your intentions are for our marriages.

I pray Lord for each woman that is hurting in her spiritually unequal marriage.  I ask that You touch her Lord, and love on her.  Help us to minister words of love and encouragement to her Lord.  Help us to see her and her marriage Lord, through Your eyes. Father break our hearts for what breaks Yours, in this spiritually unequal marriage study.  Lord, I also pray that You show us through the first few chapters of this book that there is HOPE, and that it IS possible to thrive in these marriages!  That it is possible to get past the hurts and offenses of the past.  That it is possible to forgive and forge ahead in the plans that YOU have for us!

Lord, Your word tells us that You have plans for us.  Plans not to hurt us, but to prosper us, and to give us HOPE and a FUTURE!  Lord, I claim that now for each woman who has signed up for this online Bible study, and I thank You now Lord, for the mighty work You are doing in each life represented here.  Lord, we give You honor, glory, and all praise for the good work that You have begun in each us, and for continuing that work!!  In Jesus’ Precious Name, AMEN!!

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If you have just stumbled across this website today, and you would like to join us for this Online Bible Study, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button in the Menu Bar at the top of our website and follow the instructions.  We’ll get you placed in one of our discussion groups as soon as possible!

Be Blessed, 

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Meet Sarah Boyer — Women’s Ministry Blogger

September 28, 2012 by

 

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to Sarah Boyer.  Sarah is one of our new bloggers to the Women’s Ministry.  I hope you will enjoy her writing as much as I do!  We’re very pleased to have her here with us at GCH!  <3 Christi 

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Hello! My name is Sarah Boyer and it is an honor to be a part of Girlfriends Coffee Hour! I’d like to tell you a little bit about myself.

 

I am married to my high school sweetheart, Monte. We dated for 8 years and have been married for 16 and still madly in love. Our marriage is a great testament to God because you can name any trial or tribulation and we’ve been through it, but only thru His help!

We have been blessed with two beautiful daughters. Kelsey is 13 and Ashton is 11. They are both very athletic, artistic and have hearts of gold. Their activities keep US very busy, but we love every minute of it!

 

For the past 13 years I have run a daycare from my home. It has been a wonderful career because I love children and it has also provided me a way to stay home with my own girls, but yet contribute income! As a hobby, I keep up a blog called simplysjb. I write about my day to day life as well as certain passions I have, such as the bully problem in our school systems nationwide.

 

Women’s ministry is important to me because I think it is important for women to support women in a positive way. Back that support up with scripture and I truly believe you can change a woman’s life. In my own experience I have two very spiritual friends who have helped me through difficulties by offering prayers over me and my situation and then pointing me to a specific verse to meditate on. The friendly support is wonderful, but it’s His word that is what always helps my situation turn from one of despair into one of hope.

Through these friends I’ve realized that nothing is impossible as long as you have faith. I believe it’s now my turn to help others find the answers to their problems in God’s word.

 

I try to be a very positive person and I love to be of help to others. I am hoping that by being a blogger and leader at GCH I will be able to reach more women; wives, mothers, daughters, sisters and friends every day and help them to see that there is always an answer in God’s word and a positive attitude.

 

I’m looking forward to getting to know all my sisters in Christ better and developing lifelong friendships here at Girlfriends Coffee Hour!

 

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We are thrilled to have Sarah join our Women’s Ministry Blogging Team!!

Sarah Boyer lives in Wayne, Ne. with her husband and two daughters. She is a self-published author of two Christian novellas, Follow A Certain Path and its sequel, Follow My Lead.

 

Sarah loves to write, make slideshows and all things retro. But most of all she loves being a wife and mother. During the week she runs an in home daycare.

 

Sarah has been involved in her church’s Sunday school and vacation bible school programs. She finds inspiration from women like Joyce Meyer and Beth Moore because of their down to earth presentation of God’s word and the way they apply it to everyday living.

 

You can read Sarah’s personal blog at www.simplysjb.wordpress.com.

 

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If you are interested in joining our next Women’s Online Bible Study

“Winning Him Without Words” by Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller

Please send us an email at:

Womens@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

We wills end you all the details you need to get registered.

 

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , ,
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