November 26, 2024

A Daughter’s Worth Week 5: Managing Emotions

October 28, 2012 by

Isaiah 12:2-3

Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid.

The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense;

he has become my salvation.

With joy you will draw water  from the wells of salvation.

Emotions are both complicated and complex and can be amazing while at the same time really annoying! Even “the experts” are not sure what causes us to experience emotions. Both social science and neurobiology have tried, to no avail, to explain the origin of emotions. For Christians, emotions can be troubling, frustrating, and untrustworthy. Some emotions seem deeply spiritual; other emotions seem downright sinful. God created us to experience emotions, yet there are still godly and ungodly ways to manage them.

Emotions seem to be my “super power.” God gave me this crazy gift of being a super-feeler…. if I am happy, I am insanely happy, If I am sad…. get out of my path! As much as it can drive me crazy, I know that God created me this way for a reason and I am trying my best to embrace it.

As a teen, I know I drove my family crazy, especially around “that time of the month,” with my crazy emotions. One minute I would be so excited and full of joy and the next I would be bawling my eyes out because I missed the first part of my favorite song on the radio. Can you relate?

As an adult with my own kids, I have learned that confusion is NOT of the Lord and that keeping the drama of life as far away as I possibly can from my world helps me to keep my emotions in balance. The more I seek the Lord to guide my steps and rule my life, the more manageable my emotions become.

This week, our amazing blogging team is going to explore with you how God fits in helping you to…..

  • Deal with disappointment
  • Managing anxiety
  • Squashing jealousy
  • Clearing up confusion
  • Celebrating your happiness

Lord, I thank you for creating us with emotions and I pray we can learn this week how to best manage them for Your glory! Thank you for making each one of us the exact way that we are and I pray that you will help us relate to each other through exploring what Your Word says about our emotions. Father, I ask that you bind our thought this week and keep satan at bay as we dig deep into Your Word and what you have for us. Help us stay focused and keep all confusion away! We love you, Lord, and we thank you for this provision. In Jesus’ name, amen <3

Love to you all,

Megan 🙂

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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Introducing Laurie Ellis: Victorious Healing Ministry Leader

October 27, 2012 by

 

I grew up in a middle class family, the youngest of four children. I had to try to ‘measure up’ to my siblings (2 sisters and 1 brother).  My dad was military so I spent many days trying to meet his expectations. To this day I cannot remember a time I met those expectations. My mom was a stay at home mom due to responsibilities of my brother – who has developmental challenges. She was the peacemaker in our family. We grew up in church; however I did not really know God.  James 2:19 states, ‘ you believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that and shudder.’ You see, I did believe in Him, but had not received Him as my Lord and Savior.

When I was 12- (a very impressionable age for girls), I was very active in sports at school. As I spent more time at school, my PE teacher began paying more attention to me – this was my first encounter attaching to a female.  I remember wanting to be around this teacher, yet knowing it was not right for her to be interested.  So, for the next 6 years, I tried everything to ‘fit in’ with my friends.  If they wanted to go out drinking, I would – if they were hanging around guys – I would. At home though I would keep my grades up – you see I was playing both worlds.

At the age of 19 I became actively involved in the gay lifestyle. It was at this time my family found out of my ‘hidden life.’ My dad told me to leave and I was no longer his daughter – that I had ruined the family name. For the next 3 years we did not speak – avoiding each other every time we saw each other in town. My family searched for help at this time – they joined a Full Gospel Church in town and began talking with me. I knew God was tugging on me, but I was not buying into it completely. I would go to church and feel great, trying to follow what I thought God wanted – then I would go home and would fall.  One night I went to church with my mom and decided I would try this ‘Jesus thing.’ I actually felt good about it, but again it was surface, as I continued living the lifestyle. Six years later, my mom passed away suddenly.

At this time I was sincerely trying to get out of the gay lifestyle. I met a ‘charming’ man at my mom’s funeral – married him 6 weeks later with my family’s blessings. Everyone thought this would ‘fix’ me. My marriage became a battleground – I left after a short time, seeking love I had not received and fell back into a lesbian relationship. What next? I found out I was pregnant.  My son, now 21, is the blessing God had planned for me through this marriage. Things were going well at this time – or so I thought. My ex-husband obtained custody of my son. You would think all of this would make me think – but this just made me more set on doing my ‘own thing.’

My life now became survival of the fittest and I was going to conquer the world. I completed my Masters Degree, got a good job, nice house, friends, and was involved in a long relationship. I had won right? Wrong – I still had no communication with my family, my dad had passed away, I had no relationship with God, lost custody of my son and was alienating myself from my friends due to the shame of the relationships I was in. As if life wasn’t enough, a friend of mine asked if I would adopt her grandson. Sure, why not? How could adding one more thing change anything?

My son is now 11 years old and the 2ndbiggest blessing of my life. It was about this time I started going to church – for my boys. Every Sunday the message was for me – ever been there? The more I went to church, the more miserable my life became at home – ever been there? At that time, I began going to a cell group at church – we were studying John Baker’s Life’s Healing Choices.

During my times of reading, God took me to Romans 1:26-28, ‘God gave the women over to shameful lusts. They exchanged the natural for the unnatural.’ Vs. 28 states furthermore ‘since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, He gave them over to a debased mind.’  Then Luke 11:23 – He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with Me, scatters.  Romans 2:8-9 to those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness – indignation and wrath, tribulation and anguish on every soul… God was telling me I could no longer ride the fence. I had to trust Him with ALL my heart. I knew at that moment I could no longer live the gay lifestyle.

I continued studying His word. The more committed I became – He started taking me to many passages on His love and grace. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 speaks first of those who are unrighteous not inheriting the kingdom of God. But the grace comes in vs. 11 “and such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.” Psalm 103:11-13 states “for as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Then, Romans 5:8 says “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

How awesome is our God that even when we were causing His heart to hurt, He sent His only son to die for us? I stand amazed daily at how He has transformed my life from confusion to peace – from sin to salvation – from knowing of God to truly knowing God. Exactly two weeks after total surrender to God, I received a call from my doctor. I was diagnosed with stage 3 cervical and uterine cancer and needed immediate surgery.  Prior to surgery, my doctor informed me I would need to follow up with chemo and radiation.  I came through the surgery well and received another call from my surgeon two weeks later – all tests came back negative.  I would not need follow-up chemo or radiation – God had healed my cancer. Praise God!!

Two years ago, after moving myself away from the environment and friends of my ‘old self’ – I came upon Celebrate Recovery. This is a Christian 12 step program based on the 8 Beatitudes and Jesus’ most famous sermon – Sermon on the Mount. Through these 12 steps and God’s grace, He has taken me full circle and placed me exactly where I needed to receive full Victory from the gay lifestyle.  Initially I felt heavy doses of shame and guilt. Immediately God took me to Isaiah 61:7 – Instead of your shame you shall have double honor, instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion.” Through Celebrate Recovery and ‘pressing on’ I have discovered I have no shame because of the grace of God, He has turned that into joy through my total surrender to Him.  I became involved in an ex-gay ministry and also lead women’s groups through Celebrate Recovery (doesn’t God have a sense of humor?).

God has taken me on an amazing journey. He is giving me freedom that can only come through His grace. When I now talk with people about coming out of homosexuality, the responses vary “I didn’t know you could get out of that,” or “Weren’t you born that way?” My response is always with God ALL things are possible. Do I still have trials or temptations, yes – Jesus said we would.  But John 16:33 “in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

You see, my identity is not in my past. My identity is now I am loved, valuable, precious, talented, gifted, capable, powerful, wise, redeemed and a child of the most High God. How do I know that? My Father, the Father of all creation told me so. Many people go around looking for miracles – take a look around, we are each a miracle.

God has taken me in my most sinful nature and by grace transformed me into a child of God.

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LaurieEllis

Laurie Ellis was raised in Southern Illinois. She is the youngest of four children.

Currently, she is a single mom of two sons, Elijah (21) and Dalton (11). They are the joys of her life. Along with her boys, her brother Roger lives with them.

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Following her divorce, she returned to college, obtaining her Bachelors in Social Work (1998) and then her Masters in Healthcare Administration in 2005.  She has spent over 25 years working in the healthcare field with youth, developmentally disabled and most recently in the geriatric population.
For the past two years, Laurie has spent time in Celebrate Recovery on the ministry T.E.A.M and Exchange (an ex-gay ministry) – leading several women’s groups.  She is grateful to be used by God to minister to women searching for recovery from various issues.

 

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If you are interested in learning more about this ministry, please email Laurie@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Lord Teach Us to Pray: Part 5

October 27, 2012 by

Today we continue a series entitled Lord, teach us to pray! Do you ever cry out with that same desire as Jesus’ disciples did — ”Teach {me} to pray”?

 

Each Saturday over the next couple of months, we will intentionally pursue asking the Lord to do just that—teach us to pray. I believe that, as we continue to look at learning how to pray through the Scriptures, we will develop into daughters who PRAY—who delight, yearn, and love to pray to their Father. This is my heart’s desire.

Jesus was asked this important question by His disciples. One of the places that it is recorded is in Luke 11, verse 1: “Then He was praying in a certain place; and when He stopped, one of His disciples said to Him, Lord, teach us to pray….” Listen to the words that He spoke to them when they asked:

Pray, therefore, like this:
Our Father
Who is in heaven,
hallowed (kept holy) be Your name.
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven (left, remitted, and let go of the debts,
and have given up resentment against) our debtors.
And lead (bring) us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.
Amen.
Matthew 6:9-13

 

The first week, in this series, we focused on the very first, and most important aspect, of Jesus’ instruction—addressing God Almighty as “Our Father….” We found that He wants to be our Father…our Abba Father!

The second week, we looked at the very next aspect of prayer that Jesus deemed of importance—“Who is in heaven.” This attribute tells of the utmost importance of God Who is in heaven. And we also were reminded of an awesome promise from God, that we will dwell for all eternity with Jesus and our Father, Who is in heaven.

Then we came to the third aspect, as we followed Jesus’ instruction,— “hallowed (kept holy) be Your name.” And we looked at five examples in the Scriptures where Almighty God is described as holy: we saw the Psalmist proclaim that ‘You are holy’…that the prophet Habakkuk called Him ‘my Holy One’…that Isaiah saw in a vision God seated on His throne with the seraphim proclaiming ‘holy, holy, holy’…that Jesus our Lord prayed ‘Holy Father’…that one of the seven angels praise Almighty God saying ‘You Who are and were ‘O Holy One.’ What a privilege that our Father…Who is in heaven…would allow us to come before Him and call Him ‘holy!’

And last week we looked at the next aspect of prayer that Jesus deemed important— ‘Your Kingdom come.’ We considered the question, “What is the ‘Kingdom’? by focusing on just two ways to understand what Jesus meant. The first connotation that “Kingdom” has refers to the eternal Kingdom, commonly understood as Heaven, where God and Jesus dwell. Our Lord communicated in His instruction to constantly have the attitude of heart of yearning for that time when the Kingdom comes! And, oh, don’t we long to live for eternity in that heavenly Kingdom!!! And then to understand “Kingdom” in another way, we looked specifically at the 13th chapter of the book of Matthew where Jesus spoke in parables and used tangible examples to help His disciples (and us!) to understand the importance of having ‘the Kingdom’ established in our hearts. Our desire is for Jesus’ words to be at the center of our heart, the focus of our pure living, the impetus for our choosing His ways over the ways, the cares, the pleasures of the world. The kingdom of heaven is of great and precious value; Jesus wanted them (and us!) to know this. Our Lord’s strong desire is for us to have Him, the King, ruling in our hearts and that a lifestyle of that will allow us entrance in the future to eternity, in the Kingdom, with Him and Almighty God. Jesus, Who God has made to be King of our lives, wants us to thoroughly understand the TRUTH about the Kingdom…He wants you and me to be in that Kingdom along with Him.

Now, we are learning about the next aspect of Jesus’ instruction—‘Your will be done— during this fifth week of our study. It is Almighty God’s will that we are to be concerned about…not our own. We continually see Our Lord’s constant example that it was not His will that was important but His Father’s.

“I am able to do nothing from Myself [independently, of My own accord—but only as I am taught by God and as I get His orders]. Even as I hear, I judge [I decide as I am bidden to decide. As the voice comes to Me, so I give a decision], and My judgment is right (just, righteous), because I do not seek or consult My own will [I have no desire to do what is pleasing to Myself, My own aim, My own purpose] but only the will and pleasure of the Father Who sent Me” (John 5:30).

If it were ever possible for anyone to justifiably state and act on their own will, it would have been Jesus; true? Here we see the great humility He had before His Father. As well as the beautiful love that He and His Father shared in their relationship. Jesus always desired His Father’s will, always sought His Father’s will, always purposed to know His Father’s will so that He always did His Father’s will.

“For I have come down from heaven not to do My own will and purpose but to do the will and purpose of Him Who sent Me” (John 6:38).

And what IS His Father’s will? Listen as this record continues…

“And this is the will of Him Who sent Me, that I should not lose any of all that He has given Me, but that I should give new life and raise [them all] up at the last day.
For this is My Father’s will and His purpose, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in and cleaves to and trusts in and relies on Him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up [from the dead] at the last day” (verses 39,40).

We are made aware of a primary aspect of God’s will: salvation and redemption through Jesus Christ. And we are assured that at the very foundation of God’s will lies our hope, which is salvation through Jesus leading to eternal life. How thankful are we to know that? Oh. How. He. Loves. Us. So. < 3
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This week , in our study A Daughter’s Worth, we have read about knowing when and how to defend our faith; knowing about choosing our words; knowing what to/not to wear; knowing how to direct and order our steps; knowing to work hard, and why. And now we can add, knowing God’s will.

 

Ask yourself: ______ (insert your name here), how much worth do I have knowing that it was God’s will to send Jesus to be my Savior, my Redeemer and God’s will to give me new life in Christ Jesus my Lord! And that it was Jesus’ will to always do the will of His Father! <3

“…Your will be done…”

Crank it up! <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70qxTWhltBc>

With love,

Coleen <3

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Lady In Waiting: Finding the Priceless Pearls

October 26, 2012 by

 

When I looked at the schedule and saw I had this section of the chapter to talk about with you ladies, I was ecstatic!  I am pretty sure this is my favorite chapter.  When I read, A Lady in Waiting years ago, I wrote down this sentence from page 61: From the time you wake in the morning until you go to bed at night, set your heart’s desire on exalting Him.  This paper is sitting in my nightstand drawer.  Every time I read that sentence I pray that I am able to do just what is says that day.  Through the years I have learned what exactly it means to exalt God.

I have not always exalted God.  In fact for three years of my life, my heart’s desire was not for God; it was for a man who I tried to make my God.  I lived to honor this man, I lived for this man, from the time I woke up in the morning until I went to sleep at night I made this man a huge idol in my life.  This was the absolute worst time in my life.  He was very abusive, controlling, manipulative, and to put it simply, his heart’s desire was to destroy me and to sit back and watch in slow motion as he painfully ripped every single one of the pearls away I had received from God the day I accepted Him into my heart.  The worst part was I could not defend these pearls he was taking so viciously from me, because I had no idea they existed.

When all I was left with was an empty strand where beautiful pearls once laid, it was my turn to add new pearls.  Instead of adding God honoring pearls to that strand, it slowly started getting corrupted with ugly pearls of drunkenness, provocativeness, impurity, idolatry, outbursts of anger, carousing, anxieties, depression, and honestly I could probably go on and on.  I did not know what God honoring qualities and character looked like for me.  I saw it in other people, my sister and grandmother especially.  They wore their pearl necklaces proud as they should, and I was happy for them and others who did just that, but I had lost all hope for myself.  I truly believed it was too late for me.  I never thought the day would come where I would wear the pearls God has been preparing for me.

I can very thankfully and happily say that today, and every day, I stand confident in the pearls that God has picked out just for me.  I found them all, some I had to work so hard for, others he so graciously gave to me.  One pearl on the strand I think I am most thankful for is, LOVE.  There are no words this side of Heaven to describe to you the benefits and satisfaction in God’s love.  This is one pearl I never have to work for.  God’s love is there for me, even when my strand was covered with sin, His love was still there, on the other side of the clasp, but still, IT WAS THERE!  One pearl I still struggle with is self-control.  When I read this book, years ago, I wrote in the margin, WORK ON SELF CONTROL.  For whatever reason I ignored that note since it was written years ago.

This is what I learned when I saw that note staring in my face the beginning of the week.  We all have access to the God honoring qualities and likeness he teaches us about in the Bible.  Yes, they are beautiful pearls.  But, for whatever reason, we sell ourselves short.  We believe the lie that we are not good enough for God’s best.  We know of the qualities and pearls we can have in Christ, but we choose or settle for the qualities or pearls we have grown accustomed to in this world.  We go for the dime store pearl necklace when waiting for us is the priceless one in Heaven.

Exalting God is when we put aside the dime store necklace we have felt comfortable with and set our eyes and hearts above to the ONE and only who will give us the pearls HE desires for us.  Exalting God is when we let the Holy Spirit fill us with the pearls we are so deserving of from up above.  Exalting God is when we praise Him and honor Him with the pearls he has provided us with to treasure on our “necklace of virtue”.

Let’s Pray:

Father God, I thank you and praise you so much for the priceless pearls that you have for each and every one of us.  I pray that as we continue this study we strive to exalt you every moment of every day.  I pray that each and every one of us on this journey is able trade in the dime store necklace for a necklace of virtue so graciously given to us by Your Spirit.  Thank you for going along this journey with us.  I pray our heart’s desire YOU alone.  I pray all of these things in your precious name, Amen.

Your Assignment:

What is your heart’s desire?  Spend some time today being honest with God about what pearls you have on your necklace.  Tell Him what ones you want to remove, tell Him what ones you need help getting to their full potential.  Think about what exalting God means, and desire to spend your days doing JUST THAT.

Love you ladies all a super bunch!!

Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Have you accepted Christ into your heart?  Is His Spirit living inside of you?  If you have not, but would like to pray, please contact our prayer team at prayer@girlfriendscoffeehour.com .  Someone from our prayer team is waiting to pray with you! 

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 4 / Day 5 – Know Why You Work So Hard

October 26, 2012 by

 

How many of you have felt overwhelmed with all of your activities? I know I have. When I stop to think of all that I have to do it can be a daunting task. Ecclesiastes 9:10 says “whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.” What does that look like for you?

Growing up, we lived behind the store my dad initially set up for my mom to run while he went to work in Memphis, TN. This meant my brother and I had to pitch in and help mom with chores around the house and the store. Seemed to me  that I got all of the hard stuff to do and, I have to admit, I rebelled. I did not see that I was helping my mom with some of her load when I was told I needed to help stock the shelves in the store, or when she asked me to clean the ‘house’ on Saturday morning. I was a selfish teenager that refused to do it well. Then, God convicted me, and showed me where I was a spoiled brat and not doing what I needed to do to honor my parents and help them. Have you ever felt that way? I started doing what I needed to do. Mom never said thank you, but I know she appreciated my help. I felt that I was doing what God knew I should be doing.

Ava asked us to indicate where we are doing our best. How many of these items did you select? How many do you want to achieve? Try to do them one by one. If you are doing them already, you will only have to add those you are not doing. If you need help, say with being organized, look for ways to organize your accessories. Start with something small and you will get a great deal of satisfaction when you step back and see your completed work! God only wants what is best for us.

Nothing is too hard for Him to take on if we just trust him with it. However, it does take action from us!

 

Colossians 3:17 says “and whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Give thanks for what you have, for what you will receive, and for what is going on in your life at this moment. I know that is hard when you are facing adversity. The last thing you think about is praising God for the situation, but when we do thank Him, it changes our perspective and we can know that God has us in His capable hands.

Our memory verse for this week is Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” I want to know that what I do is going to glorify my Father in heaven. I want to know that when people see what I do that they know something is different in me from what someone else will do. Our love for God should shine through no matter what the task is whether cleaning the bathroom or writing that term paper for that boring teacher or that boring class. Seek doing things that will ignite your passion to do your best!

 

Let’s Pray:

Father, I want to serve you with all that I have. Show me where I can grow, where I need to change my heart, and where I can be a help to others. Help me not be rebellious or stubborn, to not roll my eyes when asked to do something by my parents. Help me to do all things with Joy, knowing that I am practicing to serve you in the future.

~Tina

_______________________________________

For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Winning Him Without Words: God Is The Wild Hope Maker

October 25, 2012 by

   

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Hebrews 11:1

I love that verse. It hangs in our bedroom in a beautiful picture frame because it is a message I wanted to be reminded of every morning after going through a certain season of my life. The hoping and praying comes easy for me, but being certain was a struggle and this verse is the perfect reminder of what our faith in God can really do.

There was a time not too long ago when I questioned if God really had a plan for me. I used to believe he had a big one for me because I had escaped death 3 times in 38 years and am still here. God doesn’t almost take you 3 times for no reason. I always felt He was keeping me here for a purpose. But my life had been so mundane and at times down right miserable, I started to doubt my faith in God having a plan for me. What’s worse is I started to blame my husband for interfering with God’s plan for my life.

As I was learning more about what God wants from everyone, I didn’t look at my own faults and shortcomings. I was looking at my husbands. I could name off all the things HE needed to do to be blessed and saved by God right off the top of my head and figured once he fixed all his problems, blessings and prosperity would come flooding into our household. I never thought I had issues that needed to be addressed. I just thought that being yoked to him was my hindrance. After all, I was the one reading the word every day and pursuing God, so what else would I need to do?

I even started to believe that my husband was my ministry! But for some reason he wasn’t willing to listen to me tell him what he needed to do to have a better life.  The nerve, huh?! So I’d get angry at him, because remember, I thought it was all his fault that my life’s purpose wasn’t being realized. Oh brother. How’s that for putting too much expectation on your husband! I had misplaced my faith.

In this chapter Dineen asked “who am I waiting for?” Thankfully this question was put on my heart during this time. My answer was, I was waiting for my husband to fix his problems. To my eye, his problems seemed heavier than mine. I was praying to God to speak to my husband’s heart and motivate him to change. Finally God said to me:

God: What are you doing to fix you?
Me: Wait…What? I don’t have anything to fix, do I?
God: Um, yea, ya do.  Are you serving your husband, or judging him?
Me: Okay, God. I get it.

From that point on, my whole thought process changed. I started to ask God to point things out in MY life that I needed to improve or change. The list was long, by the way! I asked for his daily guidance and I asked how I could be a blessing to my husband. I spent a lot of time in Proverbs 31 and learned how to be a wife that my husband could be proud of. One who served her husband, took care of her household, raised her children with love and sought out to help others. I quit making my husband my ministry. Instead I made myself my ministry. I’ve said this in a previous post, but I now focus on being an example to my husband instead of being the nagging wife telling him what to change and how to do it. It’s the old adage, actions speak louder than words.

Please keep in mind this was not easy at first! For over 15 years I expected my husband to be my everything, as well as being perfectly pleasing to God. I struggled with “who was gonna make ME happy”.  A lot! But the more I showed love and kindness to him on purpose, it really started to make me feel good. I was making myself happy by providing joy to my husband. I was, and still am obeying God’s command to serve my husband and being rewarded in tremendous ways.

I was a score keeper, too. If he did something that hurt my feelings, I’d do something to hurt him. If he forgot my birthday, I’d be sure to “forget” his, but also remind him that he had forgotten mine. That all had to go. No more keeping records of wrongs. I continue to treat him as I want to be treated and I am “wronged” less and less each day.  Think about it this way, is it more important at the end of the day to be right or more important to be loved and give love to your husband? I threw the score card out & chose love.

And what about God’s purpose for me? Well, in hindsight I think God put me through that tough season of my life so I could write about it right here and share it with you all. I can help you learn from my mistakes or I can sympathize with you because I’ve been there. But most important of all, I can show you how well it turned out in the end by just listening to God and taking the focus off my husband and turning it on myself.

Lets Pray:
Dear Lord, help us to keep our faith placed in You. Remind us that You are working in each one of us, even though we cannot see it, we can be certain of it. Help us as wives to respect our husbands and serve them as best we can. Keep us from judging them. Keep us from trying to fix them or make them our own personal ministry. We know we need to leave them to You, but sometimes we are impatient and try to do things in our time, which only hinders Your plan. This is why it is so important for us to meditate on Hebrews 11:1 and to keep our faith placed in You and be certain You are doing Your work in them, as well as in us. In Jesus name, we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:
Dineen said that men need respect and some even equate it with love. I read this to my husband and asked him what his definition of respect is. He told me “kindness.” He said that just the act of me being kind to him made him feel I respected him. For your assignment today, I want you to ask your husband his definition of respect and list it below. At home, take that definition and USE it! If it’s kindness, be more kind. If it’s not questioning or judging him, don’t question or judge. I’m excited for you to see how much of a blessing this will bring to your marriage!

Godspeed,

Sarah

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

 

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 4 / Day 4 – Know Where to Direct Your Steps

October 25, 2012 by

Direct my steps by Your Word, and let no iniquity have dominion over me

Psalms 119: 133

Everywhere that you go, you are to give God honor and glory. My prayer has always been that when people look at me, I hope that they would see Jesus. It isn’t always about me. It is easy to get caught up in what we want in life, verses what God requires from us. The only way that we can direct our steps is to go to the One who has ordered them in the first place J It reminds me of one of my favorite songs when I was in Middle School. It is “Order My Steps” It goes a little something like this: Order my steps in your word dear Lord, lead me guide me every day.  I have attached the link to the song if you would like to listen to it.

http://youtu.be/A3FXgRHOXfE

Girls, we can’t go where God wants us to go if we don’t have a clue where it is that he desires for us to go. As I have said before, we don’t want to make an unnecessary trip, when we can go to God first and let Him direct and lead us!

There are so many things that God has for us to do. There are so many people’s lives that God wants us to touch. There are going to be times when God will ask us to go places to reach people, friends, family members in order for them to see who He really is. We can’t stay in our comfort zones and not step out into the deep. If we stay in our comfort zones, we will be allowing the enemy to win and we can’t afford that, now can we?

I can remember my very first job, working at a church in the downtown area of Memphis. My boss, the pastor of that particular church, believed in stepping out of your comfort zone! He had me follow him to one of the busiest corners in the neighborhood and he began to pass out pamphlets and began talking with some of the youth that were hanging out on that corner about Jesus and it was the beginning of an awesome relationship with them. They started coming to the center/church and they eventually found Christ, or shall I say Christ found them, and they are living their lives for Christ! I dare not think about what would have come of their lives if he had not stepped out of his comfort zone or let God direct his steps. God is awesome like that!

He taught me how to go where the people were that God wanted to reach as well, especially those places that had people who some were  afraid to minister to. For you girls, this may look like a skating rink, park, school cafeteria, neighborhood, library, etc… just to name a few places. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zones!!! Jesus will be right there with you! Stay in communication with God! He will direct your steps on where to go and who to reach out to! He won’t have you putting your lives in danger, but you MUST stay in complete communication with Him.

Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father, I thank You for each girl who is represented in GCH: Decaf. Each one is precious in your sight and you have so much in store for them, and so much for them to do. I thank you for directing their paths to GCH: Decaf and I pray that they will get from this ministry what they will need to go forth and do what you have called for them to do. I pray now in your Darling Son Jesus Christ’s name. Amen.

<3 Tonya 🙂

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

GCH: POTs (Parents of Teens) Starting the Conversation

October 24, 2012 by

The most important side of your kids….

The inside!

I don’t know about your kids, but mine are experts at talking about nothing… a lot!!! And for years, I was pretty good at keeping things surface with them…. partly because I was afraid to dig deeper, if you know what I mean. God really convicted me in this area and I’m so glad he did!

I have always been really good about knowing exactly what my kids want as gifts and what their favorite foods are…. But what about the really important stuff? Do you know….

  • How their small group is going at church?
  • If they have any Christian friends at school or in your neighborhood?
  • What their hopes and dreams are?
  • What they like most about themselves?
  • What breaks their heart?
  • What their Love Language is?
  • Their biggest fears?
  • If they see you and your spouse as Spiritual Leaders in your home?
  • Who their favorite teachers are?
  • The latest miracle God performed in their life?
  • Who is their best friend?
  • Their biggest challenges at school (not only academically)?
  • How you can pray for them?
  • Fill in the blank_____________________________?

 

My kids had/ have the extra challenge of being non-biological to me and had a whole other set of insecurities and hurts that many kids aren’t challenged with… but that was also a subject that I had to tread light with talking to them about and getting them to open up about because I wanted to protect my heart too, right? Well, once I let that go and let them see they were safe to open up with me, healing was able to begin. Did some of what they told me hurt? YES!!!!! But it really wasn’t about me. It is always so much more important that your kids feel safe talking to you about what is on their mind and heart than how YOU might feel about what they say!

I would like to challenge you for the next few days to engage in meaningful conversation with your kids about God’s unique plan for their lives, based on how God has uniquely created them to be. If you talk about nothing else “deep”,  it’s okay… this is a safe way to start and will get the dialog flowing! Remember…. It’s a DIAlog you’re after… not a MONOlog! 🙂  Think about it…. other than the topic of salvation, I cannot think of any other more important conversation we can have with our teens than the one about personal surrender to God’s will for their life! There is no hat we wear as “parent” that is more important than this… and THAT is why we are starting here with this blog!

In the days and weeks to come, we are going on an awesome, life-journey together with our teens as we grow closer and deeper in our relationship with them. Please don’t wait to do this! Begin to make a difference NOW and join us as we make this intentional stand to give our teens all we’ve got!

Dear Lord, thank you for stirring a hunger in each parent or youth leader reading this blog post to want to be more intentional about how they are relating to their teen! May You be glorified through each and every single conversation. As iron sharpens iron, give us each a boldness to share with each other our successes and opportunities we come across this week. Protect each household and give them Your mighty boldness with their kids! In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen <3

Please leave me a comment on today’s blog about how you plan on starting this conversation with your kids! We are all in this together… so let’s work together to help each other along!

Blessings to you and yours,

Megan :)

megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

https://www.facebook.com/megan.smidt

Sign up for one of our Online Bible Study or Fellowship Groups for Women and Teen Girls here:

http://girlfriendscoffeehour.com/sign-up-for-girlfriends-coffee-hour-online-bible-studies/

Filed Under: Parents Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Daughter’s Worth Week 4/ Day 3: Know What (And What Not) to Wear

October 24, 2012 by

When we first received our blog schedule before the study started, I went through it and wrote down the topics I was to write about. I immediately sent Megan a text telling her how excited I was to have this topic!

I don’t know when it happened, but I have developed a hobby of putting together modest outfits. I believe that as daughters of the King, we have a responsibility to dress in a way that is glorifying to God. This doesn’t mean we cannot wear clothes that make us feel or look good; it simply means we must be cautious with our wardrobe. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” Part of honoring God with our bodies is dressing modestly.

What a lot of women don’t realize is that the way you dress reflects your heart. If you are confident in who God has called you to be, you will protect and cover your body. If you do not know your worth in Jesus, you will most likely dress to draw attention to certain areas of your body. Living a life of worship and obedience is an attitude of the heart. So, next time you put on an outfit, look in the mirror and say, “what are my motives behind what I am wearing?”

Let’s Pray:
Jesus, my prayer is that these girls would know that everything You do is not to place restrictions on them, but to protect them! I pray that every girl reading this would know that following You isn’t about saying “no” to everything. It’s about saying “YES” to You and saying “yes” to everything You ask of us, living with an obedient heart that trusts that You know what’s best for us. Thank You for giving us role models who dress modestly! Give us conviction if our motives aren’t pure when putting on an outfit. Give us peace when our clothes glorify You. Give us hearts after You, God. Thank You for Your love! Amen

~Jordan

____________________________________________

For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Winning Him Without Words: It’s Not About Us

October 23, 2012 by

Keep praying, keep believing, and then pray some more.

—  Dineen Miller

The Lord revealed something to me this past week that showed me how vital our prayers really are.

Are you ready for a quick Bible study lesson? Turn to Daniel chapter 10.

Although I think it is beneficial to read the whole chapter for context, I specifically want to focus on verses 12 and 13.

Then he {the angel} said, “Don’t be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven. I have come in answer to your prayer. But for twenty-one days the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia blocked my way. Then Michael, one of the archangels, came to help me, and I left him there with the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia. (Daniel 10:12-13, NLT, emphasis mine)

Daniel prayed here on Earth and Scripture tells us that his request was heard in heaven. God sent an angel to deliver a message in answer to his prayer. But between Heaven and Earth, a spiritual battle took place. An evil angel blocked God’s angel until Michael, one of the higher ranking archangels, came to help. It took 21 days for God’s angel to get to Daniel to deliver the message.

God places a very high value on answering our prayers. For most of us with an unbelieving spouse, it may seem as if it is pointless to pray because we do not see any result in our spouse. And, hey, we prayed once a while back for his salvation, so God should already be working on it, right? Yes, but these prayers may spark supernatural battles that we are not even aware of! Therefore, we should be in constant, persistent prayer for our husbands. If Daniel had stopped praying, he could have missed out on the blessing he received.

This passage brought me to tears when I first read it. To realize that there is a supernatural battle waging for my husband’s soul is not to be taken lightly. These verses reiterate how important it is to pray for our unbelieving spouse diligently, without ceasing. We cannot be saddened or disheartened if we do not see a change in our husbands’. God is doing His work in our spouse. Our job is to continue to pray.

As Dineen says, prayer is truly a journey. As we walk our own journeys of faith, prayer connects us with our Father and opens our hearts to what He has for us. It strengthens us and prepares us for the next step in our life journey. So, draw close to your Father as you pray for your unbelieving husband. Trust Him to answer those prayers in His perfect timing. Trust that He is fighting those spiritual battles for us and He is already VICTORIOUS!

*****

Let’s Pray:

Lord, thank you for your Word and for teaching us through your Holy Spirit. Help us to become prayer warriors for our unbelieving spouses and to draw strength from you as we continue to walk this unequally yoked journey. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:

Comment below answering the following question – Do you find it difficult to pray for your unbelieving spouse? Why or why not? My challenge to you today is to write out a prayer for your spouse and tuck it into your Bible (you don’t have to post it here)!

*****

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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