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Captivating: Weekly Review Chapter 3 – Haunted By a Question

January 25, 2013 by

Weekly Review

With her blog on Monday, Tonya said that we often don’t feel like a life-saving lover, a relational specialist, full of tender mercies and hope, especially not when life is overwhelming and we feel caught in the struggle of balance.

But ladies, and this is a big but, we have to remember that on those days when we feel torn and unbalanced, that on those days especially, we need to remember the most that we are God’s. We belong to Him. We have to remember that we are inviting, we are captivating, and we are alluring.

On Tuesday Tonya shared with us that as women we want to be lovely, we want to be captivating. We question our inner “loveliness” in addition to our outer beauty.  As women we have vulnerabilities, we do have the habit of wanting to control situations, we are affected by relational issues, but thank God, He is strong where we are weak!

Tonya ended her blog with the following words,:” Rest assured, God knew what was going to happen; He knew what the outcome would be. He also knew that despite the curse, despite the fall out from the bite, we would be beautiful”.

My friends, you are…. and will always be …. Captivating!

On Wednesday Carissa asked the very important question, how do we deal with fear of being vulnerable? Do we play the defense trying to control our situations and that of others, or are we wallflowers,  preferring to be silent and unseen, thus also controlling the situation instead of surrendering it to God?  No matter how much we try to control or how well we hide, God knows our hearts. He knows  the motives behind everything we do.

She ended her blog by saying that God wants us to know Him. He wants us to know freedom from our fears and past hurts.He wants us to know the depth of His love for us. He wants us to know that in His eyes we are way more than “cute”.

Ladies you are beautiful and irreplaceable. God delights in you because you are captivating.

On Thursday Michelle addressed the issue of ‘ indulgences’. Jeremiah 2:13 refers to it as our ‘broken cisterns’.  What is your ‘broken cistern’? Where do you tend to turn when things get tough?  We were created to be fulfilled by only one thing – the love of God. The time comes when we have to choose who or what will control us. We are given a choice. Will it be God or our own limited personality, or another imperfect substitute?

The good news according to Ezra 9:9 is that ” God has not deserted us in our bondage”.

Today, I want to finish this review with some personal thoughts.  Girlfriends, for years I, Edwina Botha Howard have been in bondage. To me life was all about looking a certain way, wearing name brands and it was just about stuff and more stuff. When I was happy I would shop, when I was sad I would shop, when my husband looked at me the wrong way I would shop. There was just no stopping to the madness. As a teacher I would buy a new outfit after every holiday, and believe me I am not exaggerating.

A month ago or so, I finally came to the realization with God’s help, that by always wanting and buying, I am saying that I am not satisfied with who I am because I could just never get enough. I came to the conclusion that it costs far less to work on the content of my character than on draping my frame with expensive fare.  What I wear and the price tag on my clothing is not of importance, it is what is on the inside. After all, the Word of God says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  This is the message that John and Stasi are trying to convey in this book.  You are beautiful!  It doesn’t take “things” to make you beautiful in His eyes!!

 

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

Psalm 139:14

 

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Before we close, I would like to leave you with a personal message from John and Stasi Eldredge on the Beauty of Women.  This is a video of an interview they did on the Joyce Meyer program.  It’s Part 1 of 3.  We’ll share the other two parts in the next two weeks.

 

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If you would like to join us for the Captivating online Bible study, click HERE to register. Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to email Edwina in regards to this blog post, please email her at:
Edwina@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Crazy Love: Chapter 3 – A Strange Inheritance – Do I Have A Choice?

January 24, 2013 by



“The irony is that while God doesn’t need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don’t really want Him most of the time.”   — Francis Chan, pg. 61

Do you know, really truly know, that God loves you? As Francis says on page 61, God does not have to love us. He is complete and perfect just as He is. Yet, He wants us. We are His treasure; His possession; His inheritance. How incredibly humbling! The God of the Universe loves you and me personally. He desires to walk through this life with us, so we do not have to do it alone. It is utterly mind-boggling to think about.

Yet…we must choose to let God into our heart and into our lives. He is not pushy. He will not force His way in. He loves you, but He will not force you to love Him back.

When I fully realized and accepted Christ into my heart over two years ago, I wrestled with this idea of choice. I remember having a conversation with a friend about it. It went something like this:

Me: If God loves us so much and He desires a relationship with every one of us, why doesn’t He just make us love Him?

Friend: Then it wouldn’t be true love, would it?

I have a very smart friend. As much as God loves every single one of us and wants to be in a relationship with us, He will not force Himself on anyone. He gives us a choice. He doesn’t want a sliver of us; He wants all of us. He doesn’t want our good deeds, our rituals, or our faith without truly loving Him with our whole heart.

That’s not an easy thing to grasp. It took me a long time to truly understand it. I don’t have to be perfect before God. Through faith in Christ, my sin is washed away and I am free. I stand perfectly whole before my Father in Heaven.

So, we do have a choice: walk the narrow path of life with the Lord or walk the wide and broad path on our own (which the Bible tells us leads to destruction – see Matthew 7:13). It is the biggest decision we will ever make in our lives. It is a decision with life and death consequences.

Have you made that decision in your heart? If you are feeling prompted to today, take the time to pray now to accept Jesus into your heart and into your life—God has an amazing, enormous love for you (Romans 5:8).  <3

“Lord, I know I have sinned, but today I am choosing life over death. I am choosing You, Jesus. Please come into my heart and fill my life with your love and grace. Guide and direct my steps each day as I grow in my new faith. It is in Your holy Name I pray, Amen!”

If you prayed that for the first time, will you send me an e-mail to tell me about it? I’d love to celebrate with you!

Let’s Pray:

Father God, we just thank You for loving us, even though we do not deserve it. Thank You for Your grace. Just, thank You. For all of our new sisters in Christ who prayed to accept Christ today, we ask that You guide them in their new faith, instructing them in Your truth. Place Godly mentors in their path to help them, too, Lord. We just thank You, Lord, that You love us so much. In Jesus’ matchless Name, Amen!

Your Assignment:

What does it mean to you to know that you are God’s inheritance (Ephesians 1:18); His possession (1 Peter 2:9); His treasure (Deuteronomy 7:6)?

If you are interested in joining this amazing online Bible study for Crazy Love, click HERE to sign up.

Once you are registered, you will receive an email with further details.

If you would like to email a private message to Jennifer in regards to this blog, please email her at: Jennifer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

 

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Captivating: Chapter 3 – (Pgs 56-59) Indulging – Eve’s Lingering Fear

January 24, 2013 by

Ladies, have you ever had that feeling that something was just “meant to be” or you just know that there is a reason God orchestrated something to happen?  Well, that is how I felt as I read the section of the book I am blogging on today.  If I wasn’t made to talk about this subject, I don’t know who was!

Yesterday Carissa talked about hiding our true selves.  The problem with hiding is that is doesn’t make the problem go away, it doesn’t ease the ache.  It just isolates you and, more often than not, causes you to turn to other methods to ease the pain.  We call them indulgences.  I love what the Bible calls them in Jeremiah 2:13—our “broken cisterns.”  These cisterns are different for every person.  What is yours?  Where do you tend to turn when things get tough?  When your emotions get too much to handle?  Food?  Shopping?  Alcohol?  Internet?  Television? Drugs?  The list could go on and on.

Yes, all of these things make can us feel better.  The problem is that it is a temporary fulfillment.  After a few minutes…a day…a week…the pleasure goes away and that ache is still there.  That is because we are created to be fulfilled by only one thing—the love of God.  Until you start turning to God to fill the empty places, you will never find true peace.  You may not think what you do is a big deal, that it’s harmless.  So I had a piece of cake; so my credit card bill just got a little higher; so I spent a night zoned out in front of the tv;  so what’s the big deal?  In my quiet time with the Lord this morning, I read this in my Bible and I immediately thought how perfect it is for today’s blog: It’s easy to slip into a quiet rebellion – going about your life in your own way.  But the time comes when you have to choose who or what will control you.  The choice is yours.  Will it be God, oryour own limited personality, or another imperfect substitute?

I speak from experience.  For many years I turned to food as my “broken cistern.”  It was my medication, it was my comfort, it was my love.  I was a compulsive overeater AND a bulimic.  I tried so hard to control my circumstances through food.  What a horrible idea!  As I neared 300 pounds, I knew something needed to change.  It was my focus.  I stopped focusing on the problem and the food and I started bringing it to God.  When I wanted to binge, I prayed.  When I was upset I turned to God instead of the kitchen cabinets.  In no way am I saying it is easy, there were many tears shed and angry words uttered in the process, and it is still an ongoing process, but after losing 90 pounds, and faltering along the way, I can say, without any reservations that turning to God instead of my indulgences made the life changing difference for me.  He is always there for us, no matter how far gone we think we are, no matter what decisions we choose.  The good news is that, according to Ezra 9:9, “God has not deserted us in our bondage.”

Are you in bondage?  If you need to make a change, what does that change look like for you?  Remember, it doesn’t need to be a “major” indulgence that keeps you from God, the enemy works in the little things, too.  These substitutes will never resolve the deeper issue in our souls.

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LET’S PRAY

Father, we come humbly to You today to ask for forgiveness.  We have turned to things other than You for comfort.  We have tried to ease our pain with worldly methods.  We know that You are the only answer.  We know You are the only one who can take our struggles away and give us the love and comfort we desire.  Thank You for the grace and forgiveness You offer every time we falter.  Give us the strength to turn away from the easy fix and to fix our eyes on You.  We ask this in Your Heavenly Name.  Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

What are your broken cisterns?  Where do you turn other than God when the stress gets to be too much or the pain is tangible?  If you have overcome these issues share some practical strategies with us.

 

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If you are interested in joining us for this online Bible study, click HERE to sign up.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you with further details.

 If you would like to contact Michelle in regards to this blog, please email her at:  Michelle@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.

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At Home with GCH: Freezer Meals (BONUS: Taco Egg Rolls Recipe)

January 24, 2013 by

 

I don’t know about you, but there are plenty of days that I wish I had a private chef…someone who would do all of the meal planning, grocery shopping, food prep, and cooking!  It would make my life a whole lot easier!  But, believe it or not, I like doing these things for my household!  I like planning, prepping, and cooking!  So I’m always looking for fun ways to do these things that will keep me interested in wanting to do more!

This week I want to cover something that some of you may not have heard of; though some of you have, I’m sure.  Freezer Meals! I’m going to make your life a whole lot easier this week, and not only will you love the time this blog is going to save you, but you are going to love the money it will save, as well!

So, are you ready?  Grab a cup of coffee and settle in, and let’s talk about Freezer Meals!

I want to preface this by saying that I am not an expert in this field.  I’m just an ordinary housewife from Southeast Wisconsin, who reads blogs all over the Internet, and scans through tons and tons of recipes on Pinterest.  Put these two worlds together, and viola! … you come up with Freezer Meals!

The first thing I will tell you about Freezer Meals is that it does take some planning and time in the beginning.  But once these meals have gone through preparation stage, and actually become “freezer meals,” you are going to be so glad that you took the time to learn how to do this!

Freezer Meals are meals that you prepare ahead of time…a lot of them…all in one day.  I make 15 to 20 Main Dish meals in one day; put them all in Ziploc® bags, and then put them in the freezer.  They are perfect for the Crock Pot, oven, or stove top.  All I have to do is pull a bag out of the freezer, put it in the crock pot in the morning and let it cook all day long.  When it’s time for dinner, all I have to do is add a vegetable, salad, baked potato, rice or pasta, and dinner is served!  So now, dinner time is done in half the time that it would normally take; leaving me more time to spend with what is most important to me.

*Tip:  Always use crock-pot liners for easy and quick clean-up!  (You’re welcome!)

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So, let’s talk about Freezer Meals by starting with food preparation first.  The following are steps that I take when preparing Freezer Meals in my own home:

  1. Begin always by washing your hands first!
  2. Take all your raw meat (chicken thighs or breasts, pork chops, pork tenderloin, turkey), as well as cooked shredded chicken and hamburger, etc), divide the meat up into the amount of servings that you will need for your family, and put the total servings into a gallon-sized Ziploc® Freezer Bags.  Before closing the bag, always push out all the air from the inside of the bag.  (I always use Ziploc® Freezer bags, because they don’t allow the meat or veggies to get freezer burnt.)   Regular zip-lock style bags that are not labeled “freezer” may not prevent this from happening.)  Be sure to wash your hands once again, and to thoroughly clean the surface the meat was prepared on.  PS: whatever you do, please don’t clean this surface with bleach!!  You are going to be preparing more food on this surface, and the last thing you want is for the food to come into contact with a bleach-cleaned surface!  For a more natural alternative, use vinegar to clean all surfaces.
  3. Your next step is to cut up all your raw veggies and, once again, divide into how many servings you will need for your family, and place in Ziploc® bags.
  4. For meats and veggies that can be cooked together, just add them all into the same Ziploc® bag, and freeze.
  5. Marinades and some sauces freeze very well.  Sauces that I have found to freeze well are Spaghetti Sauce, Enchilada Sauce, and Alfredo Sauce.  These are the sauces that I use.  You can try others, as well, at your preference.  Salsa is another one that freezes well.  Throw the marinade or sauce of your choice in with the meat, push the air out, and zip the freezer bag shut.  Toss into the freezer!
  6. Breakfast, Bean, and Meat Burritos are great freezer meal candidates!  You can make up two or three dozen ahead of time, put them all in freezer bags, and then cook what you need for a family meal, or you can take out one or two at a time, and cook!  They are perfect for freezer meals!  Beef and Bean Burritos are something I like to make a lot of!  My husband loves to take them to work in his lunch, and they are also just a great thing to heat up for a quick lunch at home, too!
  7. Chili is another favorite of ours.  We always cook up a big batch of Chili, and freeze it in several gallon-sized Ziploc® bags.  Then when it’s time, we have Chili ready for Chili Cheeseburgers, Chili Dogs, Chili-topped Baked Potatoes, and more!  We love Chili in this home!  So many uses for Chili!  It’s also very easy to just throw in a crock pot (in the bag) and let it heat up throughout the day.  Cook up some cornbread and serve with the Chili!  This meal may take you around 30 minutes, at the most, to prepare!  Plus, your Chili is cooked right inside the Ziploc® bag, so there is no messy crock pot to clean! 
  8. BE SURE TO LABEL ALL OF THE BAGS WITH THE CONTENTS BEFORE PUTTING IN FREEZER!

There are just so many different kinds of meals that can be frozen.  They can be cooked in a crock pot, oven, or the stove top.  Personally, freezer cooking has been a huge hit for me. Knowing that dinner is already half-done makes my life so much easier!!  I hope if you have not given this a try yet, that you will take the time to try it.  It truly is a time-saver!

Before I close I would like to share one of my favorite Freezer Meals.  These are so easy to make, and are great when you are in a pinch for something quick for lunch for the kids!

Taco Egg Rolls

2 lbs lean ground beef

2 Tbsp minced onions

1-1/2 pkg of Taco Seasoning

1 pkg of Egg Roll wraps

1-1/2 cups of shredded Fiesta Cheese blend

DIRECTIONS:

Brown ground beef and minced onions in a medium-high skillet; drain.  Add in taco seasoning and stir until blended.  Set aside and allow to cool for about 10 to 15 minutes.

After meat has cooled down, fill each eggroll wrap with 1-2 tbsp of meat mixture.  Sprinkle shredded cheese over mixture, and close wrap beginning with bottom corner; fold in corners. Brush top of eggroll with water, roll wrap up tightly to enclose filling—sealing with top flap.

In the meantime, heat canola oil in a skillet.  Place wraps—fold side down—a few at a time, stirring occasionally, until golden brown (2-3 minutes).  Drain on paper towel.

Wraps can be topped with salsa, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, black olives, and sour cream; serve with Refried Beans.  Or you can choose to dip them in Ranch Dressing for a snack.

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Here are some other favorite Freezer Meal websites / recipes:

http://www.momontimeout.com/2011/08/breakfast-burrito-bonanza/

http://www.sixsistersstuff.com/2012/09/slow-cooker-freezer-meals-make-8-meals.html

http://onceamonthmom.com/101-fall-freezer-meals/

http://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/recipe-collections-favorites/quick-easy/freezer-meals-00100000085408/index.html

http://freezermealsforus.blogspot.com/

http://themarathonmom.com/preparing-for-birth-freezer-cooking.htm

http://www.annies-eats.com/2011/03/28/stocking-the-freezer-make-ahead-meals/

http://thehumbledhomemaker.com/2012/09/bless-a-friend-with-freezer-meals.html

http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes_menus/recipe_slideshows/make_ahead_casserole_recipes

http://www.tasteofhome.com/Recipes/Cooking-Style/Freezer-Meal-Recipes

 

See you next week!

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If you have any questions about Freezer Meals, or Freezer Meal preparation, please email me at Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.  I’ll be happy to answer your question, or find the answer for you! 

Filed Under: At Home w/ GCH Tagged With: , , , , ,

At Home with GCH: Focus on Health

January 23, 2013 by

kale saute

When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, I am a champ.  Every year, I swear I’m going to lose weight, exercise more, and eat healthier.  This year, so far, I’ve done really well on one front—eating better.  There probably isn’t anyone in the world who couldn’t stand to give their daily diet a tune-up, and one of the biggest improvements we can make is to eat less “bad stuff” and more “good stuff.”  What’s the good stuff?  Vegetables, of course!  (Don’t roll your eyes at me!)

Let’s introduce the star of this show:  KALE.  It’s a hearty green vegetable in the Brassica family, related to cabbage, broccoli, and Brussels sprouts.  Any veggie you eat in the Brassica family is going to help you. Kale is the the best, and most-studied, of the group.  Kale has been shown to reduce the likelihood of many different types of cancer, and is now being investigated as a treatment for cancer and other diseases as well.  If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, imagine what a serving of kale can do!

Where I live, kale is in season now.  I’ve seen it at my local farmer’s market lately, as well as at my regular grocery store.  Whole Foods and other health food stores will always have it in stock, and if you are lucky enough to live near a Trader Joe’s, you can find it stemmed, cleaned, and bagged, all ready for your culinary prowess!

Here’s what you need to know to cook with kale:  the stem, which goes all the way up the middle of each leaf, is too tough to eat.  Your best bet is to wash it, then hold the stem in your hand.  Fold the leaf in half and hold the stem with one hand, and pull off the leafy part with your other hand.  Then rip the leaf into bite-sized pieces.  Now what?

Kale is a hearty leaf, and can stand up to long cooking and strong flavors.  Because it is an excellent source of Vitamin K, it is best served with a little fat to aid absorption of  the important nutrients.  Use either olive oil, butter, or (get ready for it)—BACON!  But don’t boil it to death.  Saute it, add it to soups, toss it into salads, or, my favorite, kale chips.  Are you ready for some inspiration?  Let’s go!

kale bag

 

Let’s start with my favorite, and the most “snacky,” Kale Chips.  (You can probably get your kids to eat these!)

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/melissa-darabian/crispy-kale-chips-recipe/index.html

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Here’s one from me, featuring sautéed kale, sun dried tomatoes, and almonds:

http://frugalgirlmet.blogspot.com/2012/08/superfoods-salad-warm-kale-and-oven.html

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Kale plays well with others!  Try it in Coleen’s yummy soup recipe:

http://girlfriendscoffeehour.com/2013/01/07/gch-whats-on-your-plate-souppalooza-part-two/

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Here’s a salad, for you hearty souls who are ready to take it to the next level and EAT.  YOUR.  GREENS!  (PS: I make a salad similar to this once a week and it is delicious and filling!)

http://www.tastebook.com/recipes/1835410-Emerald-Sesame-Kale

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Here is another great way to get your greens in!  It will also work for the kids, too! A lot of people think Green Smoothies are going to taste bad.  Not at all!  Especially when you add  fruit to your ingredients!  I always add a banana, or strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, an apple, and more.  Once all of the ingredients are blended together, the main thing you will taste is the fruit!  So don’t be afraid to try this recipe!  I think you’ll be glad you did!

GREEN SMOOTHIE

Green Smoothie

1 handful of kale or spinach ( I use a combination of both)

1 tbsp of almonds

1 tbsp flaxseed

2 scoops of your favorite protein powder

1 banana

16 oz of filtered water

6 ice cubes

Directions

Using a high-power blender, blend all ingredients on high for at least 1 minute.  If you are using a lower power blender, you will want to blend on high for at least 3 to 4 minutes.  Ingredients should smooth and creamy!  Pour yourself a glass of this delicious drink, and keep the rest of it stored in a Mason jar until you’re ready for your afternoon Smoothie!  Makes just over 1 quart.

 

Explore, experiment, enjoy! — Dana

Please visit me at Frugal Girlmet for more unique recipes!

If you would like to contact Dana in regards to this blog, please email her at Dana@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Crazy Love – Chapter 3 – Pages 57-60 – Wanted

January 23, 2013 by

Wanted!  Oh, how I longed to hear that word when I was a child! I think all of us have the need to know we are not here by accident, that we are wanted. That’s why I loved the verses Mr. Chan shared with us in Jeremiah 1:4-5, “The Lord came to me saying, ‘ Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart: I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.’ “

When I was a teenager I met God and was so blessed to find out through His word that I was not a mistake, I was WANTED! It was threaded throughout His word as proof!! I was actually planned!!!

When my husband and I married we actually wanted a dozen kids! Really!! When nothing happened for almost 2 years, we went in search of answers. My doctor tested both of us and came back with the devastating news…we would never have any children! My husband and I, not really serving God as yet, cried in each others arms. We were heartbroken. Then my husband said three words that I will never forget. Speaking of the doctor, he said, “He’s not God!”

Now we had both had an encounter with God when we were young, but we were never discipled and so fell away from God. I always knew God was there, I just hadn’t figured out how to serve Him. So we both decided we’d pray about having children. Come to find out God was at work all along!  I was pregnant even during the testing. I just didn’t know it yet. Isn’t that just like our God? When we left it up to God how many children we would have, He took care of it. We were blessed with two daughters and a son. That was God’s plan all along!

 

I’m so glad I have a Heavenly Father, aren’t you? I don’t have to worry about what to do from day-to-day; He will direct my path. In fact, He wants to! He loves us so much. He planned for us and wanted us and has a plan for us. He even made a way for us to spend eternity with Him if we just accept His FREE gift. We don’t have to work, because our works are as filthy rags to Him.   All we have to do is accept Him.

Thank you, Father for Your free gift of eternal life with You!!

Be Blessed,

Donna

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Let’s Pray:

Father, I praise You from the depths of my being for wanting and planning for me. I am not worthy, but You made a way for me. I pray for any ladies who are reading this who have not accepted Your free gift of salvation. May they do so today by just praying and asking You for it.  In Jesus’ name I pray.  Amen.

Your Assignment:

I love reading in Scripture how God has wanted me from my formation in my mother’s womb. Read these verses and meditate on them for a while. Then tell us how they are speaking to you today.

1 John 4:19

Leviticus 26:12

Jeremiah 1:4, 5

Jeremiah 29:11

Psalms 139:13-16

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If you are interested in joining this amazing online Bible study for Crazy Love, click HERE to sign up. Once you are registered, you will receive an email with further details.

If you would like to email a private message to Donna in regards to this blog, please email her at: Donna@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.

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Captivating – Chapter 3: Dominating Women – Desolate Women

January 23, 2013 by

I remember the moment like it was yesterday.  I was 8 years old and away from my family for the first time for a week of Kids Camp with my church.  It was one of the best, most memorable times of my childhood.  And the scene that follows left an immeasurable impression on my mind and heart.

While drying my hands in the bathroom, one of the counselors whom I greatly admired and loved, said to me, “Carissa, you’re so cute!” Boom.  The words were spoken, and those words felt so good.  I had a new goal.  I wanted to be “cute” all of the time.  I wanted to feel special, noticed, admired, and loved every day.

But the fact remains: I’m not as “cute” as I once was.  Over the past 17 years of my life, there have been way more “non-cute” comments directed my way.  And so, I’m sitting here, writing to you as a scarred and broken woman.  Because of the Fall, I’m cursed with a longing to be beautiful and irreplaceable. Since the world has shown me more coldness than warmth, I’m guarded.  I know I’m not alone in this either.  My guarded mindset is driven from fear—fear of being vulnerable.  Every woman deals with this fear differently.  The two main methods, pointed out by our authors of this book, are either domination or desolation.

So how do you deal?  Do you play the defense, trying to control your situation and others, sometimes even masking your controlling nature as “caring” for others?  Or are you a wallflower, preferring to be silent and unseen, thus also controlling your situation instead of surrendering it to God?

We must realize that these two attitudes are inspired by fear, a fear that was not sent from God.  Ladies, 1 John 4 affirms that “God is love.” And we know that “perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.”  So if we live in love, then God lives in us and fear has no place to dwell.

So no matter which woman you identify with (either dominating or desolate…or maybe both) and no matter how much you try to control or how well you hide, God knows your heart.  He knows the motives behind everything you do.  He knows every thought, every attitude, every action, and every reaction.

“Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account” (Hebrews 4:13).

God wants you to know Him, too.  He wants you to know freedom from your fears and past hurts; He wants you to know the depth of His love for you.  He wants you to know that in His eyes, you are way more than “cute.”  You are beautiful and irreplaceable. He delights in you because you are captivating.

 

Praise Him,

 

Carissa

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Let’s Pray
Our beautiful and wonderful Savior, thank You for who You are, thank You for creating us in Your image, thank You for the beauty that you instilled in each woman.  Father, I pray that every day, we will wake to dwell in You because You are love.  I pray against the Evil One and his attacks on our hearts with fear and doubt.  Help us to daily surrender our lives to you – surrender our desires to both control and hide.  Father, we know that we can do all things through You because You are our strength.  In Your precious name we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment
Are you more dominating or desolate?  Can you see how these attitudes stem from fear?  What are some ways we can daily practice to abide in love and thus reveal the beauty within each of us?

 

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If you are interested in joining this online Bible study, please click HERE to sign up.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

 If you are interested in sending a private message to Carissa, please email her at CarissaMarkantone@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

 

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Life’s Healing Choices – Chapter 3: Stepping Across the Line

January 23, 2013 by

I’m going to start today’s blog post with a little poem that my pastor quoted Sunday.  It goes like this…

 

I went for a walk today down a winding road and fell in a hole,

it’s not my fault.

I went for a walk today down the same road and fell in a hole,

why did I do that?

I went for a walk today down the same road, fell in the same hole,

it’s my fault.

I went for a walk today down the same winding road, I barely made it around the hole.

I took a different road today.

I cannot handle that winding road I’ve been on. I won’t go down it again.

 

Does that sound familiar to you? Are you having a hard time stepping off the same path? Today we will step across the line together into Jesus’ arms and allow Him to care and control ALL of us. Ready? OK! (The cheerleader in me came out.)

S-urrendering

T-o

E-verlasting

P-eace

 

Step 1: We must accept Jesus as our Savior, Lord of our life. He must live in our heart and be the center of our being. Acts 16:31 says, “Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.”  You will be saved, not might be, but will be. Commit as much of yourself as you can at this moment and He can do great things. This is so exciting! Shall we go on?

Step 2: We must accept God’s word as our standard. It must be our life manual. God gave us His word to guide us in every aspect of our lives. What a gift from our Creator! The Bible contains love letters from our Heavenly Father, and instructions by which to live our lives so that we will have the peace and joy He promised us. As we commit more and more of ourselves to Jesus, we will want to live our lives according to His will for us and the only way to know His will is to read and study His words. “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching the faith and correcting error, for resetting the direction of a man’s life and training him in good living”(2 Timothy 3:16).

Step 3: We must accept His will as our purpose. We have to let go of the plans we have for ourselves and totally surrender them. His ways must become our ways. We must die to ourselves and become a new person in Him—the person He wants us to be. I love how John Baker puts it: how we must wake up every day and say “Lord, You woke me up this morning. You obviously have another day planned for me!  What is that plan?” I usually start my day out on my knees and end it there also. I pray for the willingness to be teachable and the strength to do whatever He wants me to do that day.

Step 4: We must accept His power as our strength. 2 Samuel 22:40 says,  “You armed me with strength for the battle–You humbled my adversaries.” When we commit ourselves to Him, His strength is ours, and His power is ours. He has given us His Spirit and with that comes the benefit of having His resources at hand at all times. We are armed for whatever trial comes our way.

So, are you ready to step across the line together? He’s waiting with open arms. If you have not yet asked Him to be Lord of your life, my friend, this is the most important decision  you will ever make. It is your life choice. “Look. Here  I stand at the door and knock. If you hear me calling and open the door, I will come in and we will share a meal as friends” (Revelation 3:20).

He wants to come into your life and help you live this life He gave you. He wants to come in so badly but He will not come in if you don’t ask. Oh dear friend, you don’t have to go this alone. You don’t have to white knuckle it! His power is yours. Your willpower isn’t enough. I know mine isn’t. If it was, I would never have gone down this road of addiction. I wouldn’t have left a trail of destruction and hurt for all I love. But we serve an awesome Savior Who can redeem all we have done and make us a new creation in Him.

 

If you are truly ready to commit your life to Him then answer these questions:

Do you believe Jesus Christ died on the cross for you and proved He was God by coming back? 1 Corinthians 15:2-4

Do you accept God’s free forgiveness for your sins? Romans 3:22

Do you want to switch to His plan for your life? Romans 12:2

Are you ready to express your desire for Jesus to be the director of your life? Romans 10:9

If you answered yes to all these questions then make this a reality and make the choice to step across the line today holding your Savior’s hand. He’s so ready and willing. Just say yes.

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Let’s Pray:

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for coming into my life and redeeming me and dwelling in me. Thank You for all these women who dedicated their lives to You today, some for the first time and for others a rededication. Lord, we believe You sent Your Son Jesus to die for our sins, so we can be forgiven. We are sorry for all our wrongdoings and as we continue this journey with You, Lord, we ask for the willingness to be teachable and the strength to carry on with this beautiful life You have given us. Thank You that we do not have to go this alone. Lord, some of us are so tired and we need You more than we know. Give us rest and take our burdens as You have so promised. We love You and Praise You for Who You are. In Jesus’ name we pray.  Amen.

Your Assignment:

Let us know if you prayed that prayer, so we can continue to encourage you in this amazing journey. Look up scriptures and enter them in to your journal. Remember, all comments are public on this blog. You have the option of signing in anonymously.

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If you are interested in joining us for the Life’s Healing Choices online Bible study, click HERE. Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Kim in regards to this post, please email her at Kim@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

 

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Captivating – Chapter 3: A Woman’s Deepest Question – The Curse

January 22, 2013 by

We were driving the other day and my 6 year old son proceeded to tell me that when I get old there was this stuff he saw on Television that I could use to take the wrinkles away.  I sat in the front seat stifling a laugh and thanking him for his concern.  But I found myself wondering about the quality of my skin. Do I have wrinkles? Is it time to invest in more effective skin products? I think of the days where I have a pile of clothes on my bed because all of the shirts I have tried to wear that day just didn’t look right. I think of my daughter, who will be ten later this month, preparing for the day in the mornings and taking a good amount of time doing so because she wants to get everything just right. We want to be lovely, we want to be captivating.  We question our inner “loveliness” in addition to our outer beauty. How do I come across to others? Do I display the traits of a Proverbs 31 woman?  We are always questioning a loveliness that was once natural and automatic or women.

Biting that apple changed everything…

How often do I find myself taking matters into my own hands? How often do I find myself telling God that I put all of my faith in Him to give me the life He wants me to have, but then I “take matters into my own hands”? Speaking for myself, the answer is far more often then I would like to admit.

 Proverbs 19:21

Many plans are in a man’s mind, but it is the Lord’s purpose for him that will stand.

This scripture brings me such peace, no matter what plans we may have, or how much we try to be in control, God’s plans for our life will come to pass. And He plans for us to be lovely and captivating.

The implications of the curse can be intimidating; they do not paint a very promising picture.  But we cannot allow this to deter us.  Yes, we women do have vulnerabilities…we do have the habit of wanting to control situations…we are affected by relational issues, but where we are weak, He is strong.

 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!

So for the sake of Christ, I am well pleased and take pleasure in infirmities, insults, hardships, persecutions, perplexities and distresses; for when I am weak ]in human strength], then am I [truly] strong (able, powerful in divine strength).

Rest assured God knew what was going to happen; He knew what the outcome would be. He also knew that, despite the curse and despite the fallout from the bite, we would be beautiful!  We would be—and are—captivating.

With love,

Tonya

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Let’s Pray:

Dear Lord, we wonder about the opinions of others…we question our inner and outer beauty…we worry about looking right and acting right. We are vulnerable, and like to take matters into our own hands. Please help us to remember that where we are weak, You are strong.  Help us to keep our eyes focused on You, and remember that Your plan for our life was written before Eve took that bite.  And that Your plan will happen. Thank you for making us beautiful and captivating, Lord.  In Jesus’ name, we pray.  Amen.

Your Assignment:

I have the habit of taking matters into my own hands, or trying to that is. This week I am going to intentionally give everything to God. I carry a journal with me. So when a situation comes up, and I get that urge to take care of it, I am going to write it down…pray…and give it to God. I encourage you to do this. You can use your phone, a notebook, or whatever you are comfortable with.

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If you are interested in joining this online Bible study, please click HERE to sign up.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

 If you are interested in sending a private message to Tonya, please email her at TonyaEllison@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Week 3 “The Commitment Choice” – What’s Holding You Back?

January 22, 2013 by

I have a question for you this morning: What is holding you back from surrendering your problems and your life to the care of God?

Today we are going to talk about five things that keep us from making this choice: Pride, Fear, Guilt, Worry, and Doubt.  

This has been, and to this day still is, a battle for me in a few areas in my life. I found it painfully hard to fully acknowledge to myself those painful feelings of guilt that I tried to push down deep inside that would continue to pop up and hurt. Satan loves to try and ruin our day by bringing up past scars. He loves to see us reliving that pain and being pushed bit by bit away from God. His desire is that the pain will always be there and we will not ever be able to heal.

Everyone has feelings of pride, fear, guilt, worry, and doubt from time to time. But God wants us to stop, let go, and give Him these feelings and hurts that cause destruction in our lives and to those we love. He simply wants to take care of our hurts; all we have to do is hand them over to Him today. For many, this is not easy. In fact, this was so very hard for me to do. I would like to share a situation in which I had a very hard time giving up control and putting my love and trust in God.

Due to the lack of male figures as a child growing up, I had trust issues and I yearned for male attention. I had my heart broken many times as a young child and I truly felt very sorry for myself and very angry toward men, but on the other hand, I wanted their love so badly. When I was 14 years old, I was raped by my boyfriend. He pressured me to be with him because he “loved” me. Although I wanted that love so bad, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to give myself to him.  At the last minute, I decided not to go through with it, but he chose to continue…without my consent.  Afterwards, he threatened that if I ever told anyone what he did, or tried to break up with him, he would let everyone know what I had done with him; that I was no longer innocent and pure.

As time went on, anger, hurt, love, and trust turned into major resentment toward every man I came in contact with. I was not about to trust a man with my heart. I would be the one in control, and I would not have to fear rejection. I started using my body as a way to control that overwhelming need for love. I used sex lying to myself calling it “love.” I would now become the rejecter. Although, reality was that sex became disgusting to me because it was filth and not love that I always yearned for. That was when I decided I would be the one who would cause one to feel sad, hurt, and unloved. I wanted men to “want” me, because this is what I thought love was. I learned great ways to manipulate them with my eyes, the way I moved my body, the way I did things to cause them to feel jealousy so they would stay with me. This was (in my mind) justifiable behavior. I had been treated that way, so why shouldn’t I treat men that way. Isn’t that how love works?

After this, I turned very selfish and could not offer real intimacy and pure love to anyone, even with my devoted husband who truly loved me. I just never believed that love was real. I had never received it in any other male relationships before, so I thought how would my marriage be any different. That boyfriend I had, said he loved me, but look how that turned out. I believe this is my reason for having a hard time putting my trust, not only in my husband, but mostly with the Lord. How on earth could my Heavenly Father really love me that way?

Finally I woke up and decided to quit playing the victim. I chose to give this hurt to the Lord along with the control, pride, guilt, fear, worry, and doubt. In the beginning, I did not think He could change me, but God did. He was going to set me free!

“I have swept away your sins like a cloud.  I have scattered your offenses like the morning mist.  Oh return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free.”  — Isaiah 44:22

Today, love is changing between me and my husband. I am “learning to trust” him and even more, trusting God in all things. God is calling out to all of us “This is the Lord, trust me, let go, and I will catch you.” (Baker)

How about you? Are you willing to lay down your pride and surrender? Are you ready to stop being tormented by your hurts that have controlled you for so long? Are you having doubts right now even though you want to believe? Ask God right now to help you with your unbelief. As John Baker says, “Jesus said, that’s good enough.” All you need is faith as small as a mustard seed. If you put that faith in our Big God then you will get results. (Baker)

Jesus replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

So what are you waiting for? Let go and give Christ control! He wants a loving relationship with you more than anything!

 

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Let’s Pray:

Lord, Thank You for Your love for us. You tell us, Lord, to come to You with all things and You will give us rest. Lord, we want to do this and surrender our problems and care over to You; but it’s not easy. The pride, guilt, fear, worry, and doubt get in the way. Lord, we ask You to help us right now to let go and surrender our problems and lives to the care and control of You. Lord,we need help. We need You in our lives. All this we pray in Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 

Your Assignment: 

Write down and explain which of these things God is showing to you about yourself such as: pride, guilt, fear, worry, and doubt that is holding you back from making a decision to surrender and give Christ control of your life. Remember, comments made here are public. You do have the option of signing in anonymously.

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If you are interested in joining us for the amazing online Bible study, and would like to join our private Facebook Discussion Group, click HERE to sign up. Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send Leslie a private email in regards to this blog, please email her at: Leslie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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