December 23, 2024

Winning Him Without Words: Is it possible to thrive?

October 3, 2012 by
Is it possible to thrive in a mismatched marriage?
 “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you”
Hebrews 13:5
Like Lynn, one of our authors, I too remember a time in my marriage where I was on my “throne”. I married this man, shouldn’t he meet my every need?
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Shouldn’t he greet me in the morning, with no morning breath, and bring me breakfast , in bed cooked just the way I like it? bring me my morning coffee as he goes out the door to work? And shouldn’t he be available to help me with the kids or housework or laundry? After all wasn’t he my Husband, partner, my life-mate? Aren’t we supposed to be doing this together? I know that sounds absurd, but I really did think that!
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Thinking only of myself and judging him from my “throne”- it’s a lonely and sometimes angry place to be. My husband is a believer, but I think whether you are both believers or not, As we go through this life together we are not always on the same page, Spiritually speaking. The highs and lows of our life and walk with God come sometimes at different times for us. Until I realized that I was actually trying to push him to where I was, then God would speak to me and remind me that I was only responsible for my walk with Him. God would take care of my husband and his choices.
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WOW! What freedom I felt then! I could love my husband, have fun with him, live life and raise our children, and not worry about where he was with God. The unreal expectations I had for my husband were just that- unreal! My husband will never fulfill all my needs, he can’t!  But God can, if I let Him.
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I can rest and know God will take care of all of it  My husband as well as myself. When I let God be in control he takes away the anxiety of my life. God meets me right where I am and meets hubby where he is too. My marriage can grow and THRIVE!! I can rest assured God has our backs in this marriage-After all he created marriage!
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When we yield our marriage to the Lord of life-He takes it and molds it. He works together and sometimes individually on each of us to make our union the best it can be. All I need do is get off my “throne” and hand my scepter over to God, pray for my husband and let God work! He will never leave me or forsake me. Like Lynn says: recognize Jesus is with you always and is intimately involved in our marriage and that is life changing!
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 Let’s pray:
God we want to get off our “throne” and hand it over to you. Help us to love our husbands no matter where they are with You. I pray we can yield our marriage to You and rest assured You will take good care of it because You WANT our marriage to be successful. Be the Lord of our life and marriage I pray in Jesus name-amen
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Your assignment:
I sometimes struggle, because I am a control freak, with letting my husband make decisions for our family so I pray daily that I will leave him and the decisions he has to make to God. If you have the same “throne” problem I do tell us some of them and  ways you can get off the throne and hand your scepter t0 God.
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If you would like to join our Women’s Online Bible Study & Facebook Discussion Group, click on the “Sign-Up Form” button above, at the top of our page, and complete the sign-up form.  We’ll be glad to place you upon your request!!
God’s Blessings On Your Day,
Donna!
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Winning Him Without Words: “The Alone Factor”

October 2, 2012 by

 

We can depend on the Lord to show us where we are today in our marriage and where He wants us to be in the future. (Lynn Donovan, pg. 27)

My husband is not a believer. Although he supports me, he does not share my faith. I have come to accept his decision and respect his choice; however, there will always be a part of my life that I feel I cannot share with him.

And it hurts.

My belief in God began at a very young age. My relationship with Him began only two years ago; four years into my marriage. It was like a light bulb clicked on and life finally made sense to me. My friend invited me to a women’s retreat with her church. I accepted. And life has never been the same. But, my zeal for God seems to not make sense to my husband. At first, I had to hide my faith. I hid my Bible. When I was going to a Bible Study, I would tell him I was going to meet with some new friends from church. When we got in the car to go somewhere, I immediately changed the Christian radio station to the more mainstream station he prefers.

I had no idea how to act. I felt isolated and alone. There was this newfound blossoming of faith within me, but I could not share it with the one person who is closest to me. I felt like I was living a double life.

In fact, I still am.

I am still trying to figure out how to live this spiritually mismatched life. Although I have come a long way (I can now openly read my Bible in front of my husband and talk about my church activities without feeling uncomfortable), I still flounder. God still has much to teach me about honoring Him despite my circumstances.

“It matters not how we came to be in our crazy, mixed-up and unexpected marriage situation. What matters is that God desires that we honor our marriage commitment and fulfill our marriage vows through His power and His strength. We can’t do it on our own.” (Lynn, pg. 28)

Lynn’s message hit me at my core. God wants our marriages to be beautiful and thriving. He desires us to honor our commitment and fulfill our vows. And the only way we can do it is through HIS POWER and HIS STRENGTH.

We cannot do it on our own.

Did you catch that?

We cannot do it on our own.

And why would we want to?

We live for a Savior who desires to do life with us. That actually gives me a sense of peace. I am truly not alone in this. Our Heavenly Father is walking right alongside us, infusing us with power and strength every single day. He knows the aching of our hearts. He knows our longings. He wants the same thing for our husbands and for our marriages. He will not leave us flailing.

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:20(b), NIV)

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Let’s Pray: Lord, help us to see and to understand that we truly are not alone in our mismatched marriages and that you are right there, walking side-by-side with us through every step. Show us how to release the pain that binds us and causes anguish in our spirit for our unsaved spouse. Provide us with your power and your strength to get through each day and teach us to fix our eyes solely on You, the One responsible for our husband’s salvation. In Jesus’ precious name, I pray, Amen.

Your Assignment: Leave a comment below telling us one thing you can do for your spouse today to honor God and your marriage.

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For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and fill out the form at the bottom of the page (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Blessings to you,

Jennifer

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Winning Him Without Words: “Know that You’re Not Alone”

October 1, 2012 by

 

When I realized I was the first blogger for this new study I have to admit I was very nervous, because this first chapter is one that hits hard on my heart.

I am one of those ladies who walks into my church every week without my hubby by my side.  Many years ago I was just like how this chapter described her entrance into church.

I looked for the closest seat to the back, so I could get in quick and out faster. I tried to make sure I was just a few minutes from service beginning before I walked in then I wouldn’t have very many people looking at me or wondering if others were following behind me.   It would allow me to slip in quick, slide in the pew and look down quickly at my bulletin, like I had been sitting there all the time.

When my husband and I were first married he attended church with me, but about 1-1/2 yrs.  later he slowly stopped going with me at all, and that is when the loneliness began to set in.

Back then I would ask him every Sunday if he would go with me and he kept saying “No”…I would sit in church week after week watching all the couples come in, slide into a pew, and then that is when it hit me…..that husband’s arm would come around his sweet wife’s shoulder and I would be so jealous that I wanted to move to another pew, but that didn’t help because there was just another couple doing the same on another pew.

They just had the “look” that I so wanted.  All these couples made me want to quit going to church all together….until one day God showed me:

“why are you looking at others, when you should be focused on me”…..WOW did He ever get my attention!

Here I was treating this like a ball game or a movie, when I should’ve been focusing my attention on what God was trying to teach me from His Word for my life, not the fact that I was sitting alone in church without my mate.

Pg. 26 of our study described my feelings exactly:

  • I yearned for my husband to be there to sit with me
  • I dreamed of feeling his arm come around my shoulder
  • I desired to have him look up a Bible verse together, then him holding my hand after we found it

God showed me years later that my responsibility in my marriage is my relationship with Christ, and that I don’t need to worry about my husband’s, that God will take care of that.

So ladies, that is what I did:

  • I kept going to church and serving God in areas that He led me to
  • I kept asking my hubby to come with me
  • I took our children with me so they could learn about Jesus

I have continued for 33 years serving Christ, yet serving alone (without my mate with me).

Thankfully God is sitting with me in that pew and friends are close by and support me, embrace me, and pray for me.

And ladies I will continue to:

  • Keep going to church and serve God where HE wants me
  • Keep asking my hubby to go with me
  • I will keep praying and asking God to open his heart
  • I will continue to look for that arm around my shoulder

 

Let’s pray:

God I pray that any of us who go alone to church without our spouse will stay encouraged, will focus on You and let You do the leading in our marriage.  In your name I pray, Amen!

Your assignment:

1. For those who attend church alone please share with us what God showed you that has helped you get through the feeling of loneliness at church without your mate.

2. For those of you that have had your mate with you the whole time in your marriage please give others encouraging words to help us get thru each week sitting in that pew alone.

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For those who may be reading this blog and are interested in joining this Bible study we would love to invite you to join us! The Sign-Up button is located at the top of our website page, in the Menu Bar section. Click on that button and follow the directions. It’s that simple! We hope to see you soon!”

Blessings,

Bev

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Winning Him Without Words … Our Journey Begins!

September 30, 2012 by

Good Morning!

My name is Christi Wilson, and I am the Founder of Girlfriends Coffee Hour and the Women’s Ministry Leader.  I, along with an amazing team of bloggers, will be leading you through this study, “Winning Him Without Words: 10 Keys to Thriving in a Spiritually Unequal Marriage” by Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller.

I want to welcome you to Girlfriends Coffee Hour!  We are a group of women all across the world who love the Lord Jesus, and are always looking for ways to better our walk with Him, and improve not only our selves, but our marriages, as well.

PLEASE be sure to read this blog post all the way through, as there are some very specific directions for you towards the end.

I can’t begin to tell you just how excited I am about this study!  Being involved in Women’s Online Bible studies for quite a while now, I have learned that many women across the world struggle being in spiritually unequal marriages!  It’s heartbreaking to hear some of their stories!

2 Corinthians 6:14 tells us to not be yoked to unbelievers. But what happens if you become a Christian AFTER you’re already yoked to an unbeliever?  You are going to love this book, if you are in this position today.  This book truly is an encouragement to all of us who are spiritually unequally yoked to an unbelieving spouse!

As I began reading this book, I wanted to write down all of the things I could find that would help explain to you what you can expect from this study.  I think you will be pleasantly surprised to learn that it IS possible to thrive in a spiritually mismatched marriage!  The authors of this book Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller, have an amazing way of making you feel right at home with this study!  They are real, authentic, funny, and so encouraging!  I’m sure you will begin to love them just as much as I do, once you dive into this study with us!

So, with all that said, I want to tell you what you CAN expect from this study:

  • you will experience the wonder of Scripture as it comes to life in this book
  • truths that will rock your world
  • fresh perspective and optimism
  • no matter “how” you arrived in your spiritually unequal marriage, God’s plan for your marriage and your future are fantastic and may take turns that are often unexpected
  • you will find that God is the Master of redeeming our past and our pain to reveal  a life He has always desired for you to live
  • you will discover a hope so wild that you will thrive in your challenging marriage
  • you will find healing and wholeness
  • you will find hope and practical tips
  • you will discover the key principles to thriving in your marriage
  • you will find prayer, support, encouragement, accountability, motivation, love, from other women, just like you, who are struggling or have struggled and found freedom in their spiritually unequal marriage, through Christ Jesus

Wow!  Now can you see why we are so very excited to go on this journey with you!!??

Let’s talk about HOW this Online Bible Study works.  

1.  Each SUNDAY, you will want to come here for your reading assignment for the week.

2.  Every Monday through Friday, you will come here to read what we have blogged about for that days lesson.  Saturday’s will be a day filled with DIY projects, crafts, recipes, homemaking tips, and more!!  🙂

3.  You can leave your comments in the comment section of this blog, if you wish.  We actually like it when you do because it gives us feedback on how we’re doing!  So please do comment!  Remember, anything shared here on our blog is open to the public.  It is not private.  HOWEVER, you do have the option of commenting anonymously, as well.

4.  Then you will go to the Facebook Online Bible Study Discussion Group that you have been assigned to, to discuss that days lesson just a bit deeper than we do here on the blog.  THIS is where you will be able to share openly and honestly without anyone outside of that group reading what you’ve posted.   This Facebook Group is set up to be a SECRET Facebook group.  That means two things:  1) No one outside of this group can even find this group, and 2) Everything shared within the group cannot be seen by anyone outside of the group!  How cool is that, huh?  We want to make sure that we provide a place for you to share your heart without the concerns of a friend or family member seeing what you are posting!  We take every precaution to make this a SAFE place for you!

That’s it!  Pretty Simple, huh??  There are just TWO places that you will want to check every day:  HERE (our blog) and Your Facebook Group!  It can’t get much easier than that!! 🙂

In your Facebook Group, we have a team of women put together for you that will be there to pray with you, and encourage you along the way.  They are members of our Prayer Team, who have specifically asked to be placed in the Women’s Ministry group.  They have a heart for prayer, and for women’s ministry!  I’m sure you will grow to love them just as much as we do!!

We also have an AMAZING Team of Bloggers, who will be blogging about this study!  You are going to love these women, and their hearts for the Lord, and for Women’s Ministry!  We took quite a while looking for the perfect women to work with us on this journey, and we believe we have found the perfect women for this study!  We can’t wait for you to meet them!  Their names are Beverly McCormick, Donna Day, Jennifer Mlenczynski, and Sarah Boyer.  Amazing Women!!!

Well, now it’s time to actually begin this study!!  Below you will find your reading assignment for each day, Monday thru Friday, and who will be blogging for that day!  So, let’s begin!!

Your Reading Assignment:

Oct 1 – Matthew 28:20 –  Introduction / Know You’re Not Alone –  Beverly

Oct 2 – The Alone Factor – Jennifer

Oct 3 – Is it Really Possible to Thrive / Mismatched Marriage – Donna

Oct 4 –  Placing Christ on the Throne – Sarah

Oct 5 –  Jesus With “Skin On” / Discovery / Prayer –  Christi

DON’T FORGET TO MARK YOUR CALENDARS!!

Tuesday, October 2nd, Conference Call Special Guest Speaker is:

Lynn Donovan

Co-Author of “Winning Him Without Words”

If you would like to take part in this call, please EMAIL US at:

Womens@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

YOU MUST BE A MEMBER OF THIS ONLINE BIBLE STUDY GROUP TO PARTICIPATE.

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Let’s Pray:

Father, as we begin this new journey learning how to thrive in spiritually unequal marriages, we ask Lord for Your wisdom, direction, discernment, and guidance.  We ask Lord that You open each heart that is represented in this study; prepare that heart Lord to receive what YOU have for them.  Remove the veils Father, so we can each clearly see what Your intentions are for our marriages.

I pray Lord for each woman that is hurting in her spiritually unequal marriage.  I ask that You touch her Lord, and love on her.  Help us to minister words of love and encouragement to her Lord.  Help us to see her and her marriage Lord, through Your eyes. Father break our hearts for what breaks Yours, in this spiritually unequal marriage study.  Lord, I also pray that You show us through the first few chapters of this book that there is HOPE, and that it IS possible to thrive in these marriages!  That it is possible to get past the hurts and offenses of the past.  That it is possible to forgive and forge ahead in the plans that YOU have for us!

Lord, Your word tells us that You have plans for us.  Plans not to hurt us, but to prosper us, and to give us HOPE and a FUTURE!  Lord, I claim that now for each woman who has signed up for this online Bible study, and I thank You now Lord, for the mighty work You are doing in each life represented here.  Lord, we give You honor, glory, and all praise for the good work that You have begun in each us, and for continuing that work!!  In Jesus’ Precious Name, AMEN!!

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If you have just stumbled across this website today, and you would like to join us for this Online Bible Study, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button in the Menu Bar at the top of our website and follow the instructions.  We’ll get you placed in one of our discussion groups as soon as possible!

Be Blessed, 

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Meet Sarah Boyer — Women’s Ministry Blogger

September 28, 2012 by

 

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to Sarah Boyer.  Sarah is one of our new bloggers to the Women’s Ministry.  I hope you will enjoy her writing as much as I do!  We’re very pleased to have her here with us at GCH!  <3 Christi 

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Hello! My name is Sarah Boyer and it is an honor to be a part of Girlfriends Coffee Hour! I’d like to tell you a little bit about myself.

 

I am married to my high school sweetheart, Monte. We dated for 8 years and have been married for 16 and still madly in love. Our marriage is a great testament to God because you can name any trial or tribulation and we’ve been through it, but only thru His help!

We have been blessed with two beautiful daughters. Kelsey is 13 and Ashton is 11. They are both very athletic, artistic and have hearts of gold. Their activities keep US very busy, but we love every minute of it!

 

For the past 13 years I have run a daycare from my home. It has been a wonderful career because I love children and it has also provided me a way to stay home with my own girls, but yet contribute income! As a hobby, I keep up a blog called simplysjb. I write about my day to day life as well as certain passions I have, such as the bully problem in our school systems nationwide.

 

Women’s ministry is important to me because I think it is important for women to support women in a positive way. Back that support up with scripture and I truly believe you can change a woman’s life. In my own experience I have two very spiritual friends who have helped me through difficulties by offering prayers over me and my situation and then pointing me to a specific verse to meditate on. The friendly support is wonderful, but it’s His word that is what always helps my situation turn from one of despair into one of hope.

Through these friends I’ve realized that nothing is impossible as long as you have faith. I believe it’s now my turn to help others find the answers to their problems in God’s word.

 

I try to be a very positive person and I love to be of help to others. I am hoping that by being a blogger and leader at GCH I will be able to reach more women; wives, mothers, daughters, sisters and friends every day and help them to see that there is always an answer in God’s word and a positive attitude.

 

I’m looking forward to getting to know all my sisters in Christ better and developing lifelong friendships here at Girlfriends Coffee Hour!

 

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We are thrilled to have Sarah join our Women’s Ministry Blogging Team!!

Sarah Boyer lives in Wayne, Ne. with her husband and two daughters. She is a self-published author of two Christian novellas, Follow A Certain Path and its sequel, Follow My Lead.

 

Sarah loves to write, make slideshows and all things retro. But most of all she loves being a wife and mother. During the week she runs an in home daycare.

 

Sarah has been involved in her church’s Sunday school and vacation bible school programs. She finds inspiration from women like Joyce Meyer and Beth Moore because of their down to earth presentation of God’s word and the way they apply it to everyday living.

 

You can read Sarah’s personal blog at www.simplysjb.wordpress.com.

 

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If you are interested in joining our next Women’s Online Bible Study

“Winning Him Without Words” by Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller

Please send us an email at:

Womens@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

We wills end you all the details you need to get registered.

 

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Meet Jennifer Mleczynski — Women’s Ministry Blogger

September 27, 2012 by

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to Jennifer Mlycenski.  Jennifer is one of our new bloggers to the Women’s Ministry.  I hope you will enjoy her writing as much as I do!  We’re very pleased to have her here with us at GCH!  <3 Christi

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Hi ladies! I am thrilled to be joining you here at Girlfriends Coffee Hour! So, grab your beverage of choice, sit back, and take a peek into my journey to GCH!

 Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost, but now am found.

Was blind, but now I see.

I was raised to believe in God, but I did not understand what it meant to have a relationship with Him until two years ago. At 24 years of age, my doctor informed me that I would not be able to have a biological child. For a young woman with her whole life ahead of her, I was dumbfounded. Every dream of my future always included a husband and children. What had I done that was so awful that God would take this from me? My world shattered and crumbled around me. I entered a depression that consumed me for eight long years, which also included panic attacks and severe anxiety. I became a shell of my former happy-go-lucky self. Why did God hate me?

But God, in His Amazing Grace, found me right where I was. And He brought me home. He whispered the sweet words that I longed to hear. “I love you, my child. I have a plan and a purpose for your life. Trust in me.” He planted me in a church family with people who surrounded me with love. He countered every negative thought the enemy planted in my mind with positive biblical truth. He turned a woman who felt like a failure as a woman into a woman who stands tall, without fear or hopelessness; a woman who fully trusts in the Lord to fulfill His plan for her life.

The Lord helped me to see that I have a plan and a purpose to fulfill on this Earth. I may not understand the Lord’s plan this side of Heaven, but I trust His plan above any vision I could have for myself. He promises in Jeremiah 29:11 that His plans are for good and not for disaster, to give us a future and a hope.

So I grabbed on to Him and haven’t let go.

You might think my story ends there, but it is only just beginning (and honestly, just that part of my story could be a twelve part series!). The Lord placed me in women’s ministry and for a while I thought we must have gotten our signals crossed. Although my heart aches for women and I want them to experience the joy, peace, and love of our mighty God – I am a writer! What do women’s ministry and writing have to do with each other?

Well, as God politely told me – a lot. As a blogger for several years, I was tasked with starting a blog for our women’s ministry. I learned that words, filtered through God’s truth, could do something – they wield power to impact lives. So, I began blogging, albeit a bit sporadically. My own fears got in my way – the self-confidence regarding my ability, the thought that these women actually know me and are reading what I write, and my own stubbornness to fully submit to God’s will for me. I mean, can writing actually be a ministry? (Yes, I actually asked my women’s ministry leader this question at one point and she point blank laughed at me!). I started a personal, anonymous faith blog so I could pour my heart out there, without anyone knowing it was me. I loved the anonymity of it! It was freeing! It was comfortable. I was safe.

But God isn’t in the business of keeping us comfortable.

As it is written:

My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.

“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.

 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,

 so my ways are higher than your ways

 and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”

(Isaiah 55:8-9, NLT)

As I continued in my writing ministry, I began to feel restless. I felt a bit lost with my writing. I wasn’t sure if I should be blogging. God had been quietly whispering for me to write my story, so I was pondering the writing of a book, too. I was very unsure where to step next. I took my questions to God.

And He knew, of course. He is always faithful to answer our prayers. And He spoke very clearly into my life on this.

He brought me to the Winning Him Without Words bible study. I was waiting for an online study for this book for a very long time, so I was very excited to find it offered here at GCH. A couple of days after I signed up for the study, I saw a request for a blogger to join Girlfriends Coffee Hour Women’s Ministry team.

Now, I am someone who likes it when God is very explicit and clear. If He would write things in the sky, that would be even better. But, this was very clear to me. I needed to pursue this and see where the Lord took me.

The Lord worked it all out and here I am – a blogger for GCH Women’s Ministry. I feel an unbelievable sense of peace and happiness about where He has placed me, although I am not so anonymous anymore! I am excited to begin this study with all of you. I look forward to learning with you and from you. I know that we will gain much from this study.

May you be blessed abundantly today,
Jennifer

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We are thrilled to have Jennifer on our Leadership Blogging Team!!

Jennifer lives in upstate New York with her husband, Shawn, and three dogs. She has a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology with a minor in Sociology and is currently employed full-time as an Educational Grants Specialist. She is actively involved with her local church, serving on the women’s ministry leadership team and maintaining her church’s website.

Jennifer grew up believing in God and attending church, but fully gave her life to Christ in 2010 after nine long years of walking in darkness after an infertility diagnosis shattered her sense of self-worth and identity as a woman. She is happy to say that God rescued her and showed her that her sense of worth can be found in Him alone!

Jennifer loves to read, write, blog, watch movies, and play board games. She has also recently discovered a love of running through the completion of the Couch-to-5K program. She looks forward to continuing to run the race God has set before her, with endurance, eyes fixed solely on Jesus! (Hebrews 12:1-2)

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If you are interested in joining us for our upcoming Women’s Online Bible Study

“Winning Him Without Words”  by Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller

Beginning October 1, 2012

Please send us an email at

Womens@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

and we will send you all the details you need to get registered!

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , ,
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