November 26, 2024

Lady In Waiting: The Body Beautiful Trap

October 23, 2012 by


“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelery and fine clothes.  Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.  For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.”1 Peter 3:3-5 NIV

It is so amazing to note that the Bible touches on every subject that pertains to a woman’s needs; beauty being one of them.  Yet how many of us refer to this awesome book when it comes to issues affecting our beauty?  If we did then glossy magazines like Vogue, Cosmopolitan and many others would have closed their doors due to lack of business.

Reading the above verse over and over again, I am beginning to understand that it’s not the “how to” articles in the magazines that will help me become beautiful.  The word of God is the best “how to” book ever.  The magazines will not only confuse me but also make me feel like I am not good enough because I am not as slim as the cover girl or my bank balance does not add up in order for me to buy the trendy clothes that are being advertised.  As holiday season draws near, magazines will carry articles such as “how to eat all you can and not gain weight”, “how to look great in last year’s party dress”, “how to impress that guy in time for the thanksgiving trip to visit your family.”  Almost every article you read in these magazines is about looking good, feeling great and getting the man of your dreams.

Every day we women are bombarded with these messages from morning till evening.  Even when you want to buy a car, the advert is not centered on the car but the kind of woman driving it.  She has the most beautiful smile, flawless skin and a body that most of us only dream about.

The single woman is not exempt, especially when it comes to meeting the right guy, friends analyze you and tell you the reasons you remain dateless, some will advise you to lose weight, others will advise you to do a complete makeover of your wardrobe – “you dress like an old lady, how do you expect to meet a guy wearing such flabby clothes?”, others will criticize you for not being found at the right places – “you don’t go out often, do you expect prince charming to dream that you live in this corner of the world?”  Your friends may mean well but their suggestions are contrary to what the word of God says.  Yes, you need to look good and feel good about yourself but looks alone will not go the extra mile.  As Jackie Kendall puts it “If a man chose me for external beauty, his destiny would be hugging a prune. But, if a man chooses me for my internal beauty, his destiny will be unfading beauty even in the twilight years of marriage, because of Jesus.”

What does this internal beauty look like?  What was it that Boaz saw in Ruth that made him to go to the elders at the town gate to ask to be the Kinsman Redeemer?  What was so special about this foreign lady who I am sure didn’t even bother with make up when she went to the field to pick up left over grain to make this wealth owner inquire about her?  I always picture Ruth putting on a veil above her head each morning before she left the house.   One would only see her eyes as she went about her business of finding food for her and her mother-in-law to eat.

Let us follow a conversation that took place when Ruth and Boaz met albeit for the first time.  “Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me – a foreigner?”  Boaz replied, “I’ve been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband – how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before.  May the Lord repay you for what you have done.  May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.”  Ruth 2:10-12.

Ruth won Boaz’s heart by her act of kindness, not how she looked, I am sure she was a beautiful woman but at the time she met Boaz, in the field, it had nothing to do with how she looked.

Girlfriends, the little or mundane things that you do for others are a testimony to your inner or internal beauty,  the times you help an elderly lady with groceries; when you hold the door for others to pass, when you give your seat to someone else in crowded room or help out others in need do not go unnoticed.  You don’t know who is watching and falling in love with your character.

“When you look at the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31:10-31, you will see God’s picture of a beautiful woman. There are 20 verses describing her.  Only one verse mentions her outward appearance. If you were to spend 1/20 of your time on outward physical beauty and the other 19/20 on developing the other qualities God describes as beautiful, such as wisdom, kindness, and godliness, you would become the excellent woman Proverbs 31:10 says a man should try to find.”

Remember “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

~~~~~~~~~~

LET’S PRAY

Father, I pray that as your daughters, we will not fall prey to the trap that the enemy and the world have set for us about how we look.  We are beautiful in your sight; we are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Help us to set our minds on things above and develop the qualities that you describe as beautiful.  We are vessels of honor ready to be used by you my Father.  May we live our lives as examples for others to follow.  In Jesus Name Amen.

 

Your Assignment:  

In the comments section below, please tell us: 

What books have you read dealing with the virtues/disciplines of a godly woman?

In contrast, how many magazines have you read that deal with external glamour?

What good books can you begin to read that will help develop your own personal godliness?

Be Blessed,

Jackie

~~~~~~~~~~

For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

 

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 4 / Day1 – Protecting HIS Name

October 22, 2012 by

 

There is this sick feeling I get sometimes.  One that leaves me feeling, honestly, to be the worst person in the world.  This feeling happens just after I choose to NOT stand up for my God in Heaven or anything I say I stand for.  It is the feeling of defeat, disappointment.  These feelings I never want, but somehow I get stuck with them when I do not want to defend my Savior.

During my teenage years I struggled with this the most.  I did not like the fact that I stood out from the rest of my “friends” because I went to church, or grew up in a pretty strict home. I tried to fit into being a cool, carefree girl, not having any real opinion or beliefs on God-all I knew about Him at the time was that He was in my heart but I did not know what that meant. I did not stand up for God or try to shine His light; instead I blew it out every morning before school. I didn’t want anyone to think I was weird or different. I did not fully understand what a relationship with God was. I was not about to try to figure it out when I could just be a fun girl with lots of friends.

Lots of friends quickly turned into no friends.  I didn’t understand this at all, I was doing what I thought they wanted me to do, why did they not like me?  I honestly believe that God was protecting me by taking me away from all of these relationships.  These friendships were not positive ones.  They were not bringing glory to God, nor were they lifting me up or encouraging me in my walk with Christ.   To my complete surprise, even though my friends had all left me, there was one friend that stuck like glue.  It was Jesus.

When I started learning about this relationship with God, I started to get that sick feeling.  Knowing the comfort the Lord so graciously gave me during this time, left me feeling so sick about how I was acting when it came to God being a part of my life.  I was so mad at myself for being so ashamed of wanting to KNOW GOD MORE. I was so disappointed in myself for not sticking up for God, or being confident in HIM.  This is why I so desperately want to help every single teenage girl come to know the love of God that they must defend every moment of every day.

My teenage years did not go so well.  I am so thankful that YOURS do not have to be anything like mine!  You have the strength and courage of the Holy Spirit living inside of you.  That power can make you be a difference maker in your school, home, or church.  YOU have the responsibility of standing up for God in a world that wants to push Him down.  You have the ability to share what HE is to you with others.  If you are scared or nervous or afraid you will not be liked, remember this verse: 1 Peter 4:14 If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you.  If the result of standing up for God causes you to be unliked (totally made that word up) by many or even friendless, DO NOT FEAR!  In fact, you can rejoice because God tells you, YOU WILL BE BLESSED for standing up for the name of Jesus Christ!

As you are put in many different situations each day, resist the sick feeling.  Desire to feel the best feeling ever (that replaces the sick feeling when you honor God by defending His holy name) …the love of Jesus Christ and the joy His heart bursts with when He sees and hears you living as He wants.

Let’s Pray:  Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for your love.  I thank you that we have YOUR power inside of us to protect, defend, and stand up for your name.  I ask that as we go through our days, we are able to have the courage to stand up for what is right.  Give us the right words to say to share YOU with everyone you bring along our path.  Thank you for being with us and replacing that once sick feeling, with your blessings.  I love you!!  I pray all of these things in your precious name, Amen.

MUCH LOVE,

Diane

____________________________________________

For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady in Waiting: Lady of Virtue

October 21, 2012 by

Girlfriends, I am so blessed to be on this journey with you.  So far it has been a rollercoaster ride with each chapter.  We are now going to Chapter Four, becoming a Lady of Virtue.

One verse stands out when I think of the word Virtue –

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised”.  

Proverbs 31:30 (NIV)

I am so excited to read what is in store for us in this chapter which promises to be rich with truth about how we see ourselves.

__________________________

Here is our reading assignment for Week 4

October 22:      Lady of Virtue – Michelle
October 23:      Body Beautiful Trap – Jackie
October 24:      Fit for a King – Tonya
October 25:      To Tell the Truth – Katie
October 26:      Pearl Necklace  – Diane

__________________________

LET’S PRAY

Father, thank you for being with us on this journey.  We are learning with each chapter who we are and how much you love us and want us to become the best.  We are still a work in progress and we know that if we do not grow weary we will receive our rewards.  Bless each one of us and our families in Jesus Name.  Amen

Be Blessed

Jackie

For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Winning Him Without Words: Know the Essentials

October 21, 2012 by

 “Then why do you treat him any differently now?

Treat him as if he were a Christian.”  

OUCH!  I wonder how many of us have ever had this epiphany!?!  Men need respect … while women need love.  We women know that we need love.  It makes us feel secure in our relationship.  But have we really truly thought of what respect means to our husband?  As Dineen said, “some even equate respect with love.”

Having respect for our husband means treating him with the utmost kindness. Treat him as you want to be treated.  Do you treat your husband with the utmost kindness; or the way you want to be treated?  Do you let your husband take the lead in the household?  Do you belittle your husband in front of others?  Do you laugh at him in front of others?  Do you add to the stress that he already has? Do you nag him?

God calls us to respect our husbands.  He doesn’t tell us to respect our husband only IF he does this or that; only if he is a good father; only if he is a good provider; only if he shows you love, and so on.  He simply tells us to respect him….period!

Respecting your husband simply put, means that you have chosen to obey God.  When you obey God by respecting your husband, you are showing honor to God!  God never called you to nag your husband.  In fact, in Proverbs 21:9 tells us that it’s better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife.  Proverbs 21:19 tells us that it’s better to live in a wilderness than with a nagging and hot-tempered wife.

From there, we move into the section of the book that talks about our needs.  We have such a way of putting such high demands on our spouse to meet our needs that it’s impossible for him to meet them all!  Then we get frustrated, disappointed, or angry, that he isn’t able to meet these needs. First off, your spouse was never made to meet your every need!  Only God can do that!  Once you figure this out, it takes the pressure off of you both!  You are no longer disappointed in him for not meeting your needs; and he is no longer working so hard trying to figure out how to please you!!  Win-Win Situation for you both!  Praise God!

The one thing that really stood out to me in this chapter though, is the section that talked about his salvation and praying for your husband.  I know how important his salvation is to you.  But I want to ask you something.  I want you to really think about this, too.

“Would you rather your husband have a ‘forced’ relationship with God because you forced him into this with your nagging? Or would you rather he have the kind of relationship that allows him to love the Lord with his whole heart, soul, mind, and strength?” 

I really want you to think about this question today.  The rest of this chapter goes into a lot more things for us to think about, and I don’t want to take away from our awesome ladies who will be blogging the rest of the week.  So with that, I’m going to end my blog here today.  I hope I have given you some food for thought today.

_______________________

Here is Your Reading Assignment this Week:

Oct 22 –

Know the Essentials / Our Deepest Needs – Beverly

 Oct 23 –

It’s Not About Us – Jennifer

 Oct 24 –

To Know & Be Known – Donna

 Oct 25 –

God Is the Wild Hope Maker – Sarah

 Oct 26 –

Glue to Hope, Joy, & Peace / Discovery / Prayer – Martha

Don’t Forget! Saturdays with Shandy!

Shandy is taking us through a 6-week journey to prepare our homes for the Holidays!

______________________

Let’s Pray:

Father, thank You so much Lord for loving us the way You do.  Thank You Lord for the spouse you have given each of us.  Lord, allow us to see him through Your eyes.  Allow our hearts to love him the way You do.  Put a guard over our tongue this week Lord, and help us to watch the words that come out of our mouth.  Lord, help us to truly be the kind of wife that You designed us to be for the spouse You have given us. In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!

_________________

 God bless you,

.

.

.

________________

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 3/ Day 5: See Your Eternal Value

October 19, 2012 by

 

Girls, just like all of you, I want to look and feel good about myself. Like some of you I can spend hours upon hours in the mall. What can I say, I like clothes, shoes, bags, make-up, jewelry; did I leave anything out?

Over the past ten years I was able to travel to different countries and have seen some really amazing things and sites. But when I look back at the places I have been to and the stuff I have accumulated over the years, I have to ask myself if this is what life is all about?

 

Although I treasure the memories of standing under the Eiffel Tower in Paris, taking a water taxi in Venice and looking at awe at the Alps in Switzerland, I have to ask myself if this is what I value in life. Does this satisfy my deepest heart’s desire, is this something that will change my life for the better and more importantly, will I be able to impact someone else’s life?

Girls, I don’t know about you, but my deepest desire is to do something of eternal value. Something that will last forever and that I along with other people will hold dear. How can I do this you might ask, the answer is simple, it is in the little things we do for other people, it is in the attitude of our hearts. You know, when you do something good for someone, you automatically feel good about yourself, not that that should be your motivation.

Colossians 4:5 says: “…… make the most of every opportunity”. That can simply be paying someone a compliment, opening the door for someone, returning your grocery cart, giving someone a smile or helping out at a shelter. If we do these things, we are helping others find Jesus, and helping them find Jesus is the best gift we can give anyone.

Not all of us have the means or finances to support people in need, but all of us have the ability to go on our knees to pray for someone, to be kind, to do good, be faithful, gentle, have self-control, give love, spread joy, be patient and kind.

Girls, I don’t want to leave a bunch of photos and a closet full of clothes behind, but what I want to leave behind is a godly legacy.

 

Let us strive to see our eternal value. This is our lives; these are the moments that make up our lives. Let’s use them wisely.

Be blessed my dear girlfriends!

Let us pray:

Father, I thank you for each and every girl in GCH: decaf. Thank you Father, that each one of them are fearfully and wonderfully made. Thank you that each one of us will do something of eternal value every day to give You all the glory. Amen.

Be blessed!

Love you,

Edwina

______________________________________________________

For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady In Waiting – Meeting Across Continents

October 19, 2012 by


Where He Will Find Me

When I read this book a couple years ago, I decided to also read through the book of the Bible, Ruth.  If you have not read the book of Ruth, I strongly encourage you to do so with this study!  This section of the book called Meeting Across Continents really makes me think of Ruth.  In the first chapter of Ruth we see that instead of staying in a town where Ruth had the possibility of security in a husband and children, she decided to leave so she could care for her mother in law, Naomi.   Leaving ultimately meant there was no way of ever getting married and having a family.  Ruth gave up that dream because she knew following Naomi where God was leading them was better than staying where she was.  WOW!

On the contrary, here we are in our little lives we have grown oh so comfortable with, scared to leave our towns because if we go where the Lord is calling us, we will miss out on the guy that is going to put a ring on it!  Really that is what you think, isn’t it?  I know it is what I think.  I think that if I stay in my town or at least in my country than I will certainly cross paths with the man that I am supposed to marry.  I have had thoughts of going oversees to work in a ministry I have come to love but I stop those thoughts from being anything other than thoughts because I am scared if I let that thought flourish and even start praying for that thought then I will end up far away from my family helping women who hurt so badly find Jesus; instead of having the dream wedding I have always dreamed of.  That was really hard for me to write, but it is or was should I say unfortunately the truth.  Today I decided to pray for that thought.

I love Ruth for many things, but I think the best thing about Ruth is she saw how important it was to care for Naomi.  She gave up her life to care for Naomi.  In my Bible (I have the Life Application Bible) it says that back then, there was almost nothing worse than being a widow-which Naomi was.  The nearest relative to Naomi should care for her according to the law.  However, Naomi did not have any relatives.  All she had was Ruth.  Ruth desired to care for Naomi.  This selfless act, the Lord blessed incredibly.  When they traveled to Israel-the place Ruth should never have been able to marry, the Lord provided Ruth with her husband, Boaz.

Do you know who God is calling you to care for?  Is He calling you to care for a family member, like Ruth?  Is He calling you to a ministry somewhere other than where you are at this moment to care for hurting people in the world?  Maybe He is calling you somewhere that is far away from your family and will cause you to think if you indeed do go, you will miss out on your husband.  More importantly though, are you open to seeing just where the Lord wants you to care for the hurting people in the world.  Do you open your eyes to HIS desires for you?  Or are you scared because if you do, you are thinking you will miss out on your man.

I love the truth written on page 47 of our book; Jesus can bring your life-mate to you, no matter where you live.  Do you believe that?  You need to!  It is not about where we are, but what we are doing.  If we are doing God’s will then that is where we will find the man God has hand-picked for us!  Being in God’s will is where we should always desire to be even if it is in a different continent.  I do not want you to think that when you finally submit completely to God’s will than that means you will finally get that ring on your finger.  Being in God’s will is where you are meant to be single or married.  In God’s will is where you will be the happiest GLORIFYING God by caring for those he has hand-picked just for you to care for.

As for me, I know that I want the man I marry to find me in God’s will, doing what God so desperately desires for me to be doing.  When Ruth left all of the eligible bachelors in Moab-the last thing she was thinking was that God would bring her one in Israel, but He did!  I pray that as we have faith to leave the eligible bachelors we see with our eyes, we find the one with God’s eyes He has for us.

 

Let’s Pray:  Thank you Lord that we have Ruth to learn from.  The way she so selflessly cared for Naomi is incredibly encouraging.  I pray that you instill in us a desire to care for the people you have hand-picked for us to encounter in this life.  I pray that wherever you lead us, we have the faith to end up in your will for us, meaning single for some of us and married for some of us.  I pray that you help us to live by faith and not to live by our own wills.  Thank you Lord that you have taken care of our greatest need already-SALVATION.  We love you always and forever!  Amen

Your Assignment:  Read Ruth!!  Please feel free to leave a comment below (your comments can be anonymous if that makes you feel more comfortable) about your journey of living in God’s will for your life.  Or, share with us any time where you have decided to give up on an opportunity because you wanted to remain where you were just in case Mr. Right walked by.

 

 

If you would like to take part in this Online Bible Study and Facebook Discussion Group, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button located at the top of our website, in the Menu Bar. Once we receive your request, we will add you to our group!

Love you all,

Diane

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 3 / Day 4 – Concentrate on Inner Beauty

October 18, 2012 by

    
                

1 Peter 3:3-4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment

such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.

Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle quiet spirit,

which is of great worth in God’s sight.

I have been more of a plain Jane when it came to dressing up my outer appearance. My mother used to always ask me why I didn’t dress up more like my two sisters always did. I was always comfortable wearing my jeans and t-shirts, and I still am. Now there are times when I love to get all dolled up and wear very nice evening gowns and heels and make up and getting my hair done in an updo (as some call it). I think that there are occasions where all of us like to dress up really nice and celebrate.

Peter tells us that our beauty should come from on the inside. Have you met someone and everything about them just lit up? Their smile, personality, who they were on the inside, just leaped out of their skin? Well I have, and that person drew me closer to them. It is all the more exciting when they are a Christian and the Jesus that is on the inside of them jumps out at you and draws you closer to them. I have always been told to look at who a person was on the inside and not pay as much attention to who they were on the outside. My mother always told me to never judge a book by its cover; that is so true! I have picked up a lot of books and put them right back down after looking at the pictures on the cover/outside and my sister or a friend would come along later and tell me that the same book that I put back and didn’t give a chance by reading it, was a phenomenal book…a GREAT read! Of course, I immediately went back and purchased the book or checked it out at the library, but you see, if I had given the book a chance, read the summary, or opened the book and read the first page or two, I would have been hooked!

Psalm 19:14

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight.

Oh Lord my strength and my Redeemer

It is the same with people. We have to give people a chance. We need to stop looking at where they live, what color they are, where they go to school, who their parents are, or whether they have parents or not, what clothes they are wearing, hairstyles, etc… It is so important to give people a chance by looking at their inner beauty. Try and get to know someone this week that is not like you or may not live in your neighborhood and tell me what you find out about that person in the following weeks. I am sure that you will be surprised in a GREAT way! Give it a try!!

When you allow people to see who you are on the inside that is who they need to see. It is not fun to try and pretend to be someone that you are not. It takes up too much of your time to try and be someone else. Be yourself. Be who God intended for you to be!!!

 

Start with your heart and look within. Is God pleased with who you are? If you are not, ask Him to help you change into the young lady that He desires for you to be. God wants all of His daughters to shine from within! He loves you and so do we! GCH: Decaf thinks…no, we know, that you girls are something pretty awesome and we are going to continue to do our best to pour into you what God would have for us to give you.

Dear Lord,

Please help each girl in GCH: decaf to know that it is their inner beauty that is so attractive to people. It is what You use to bring people closer to You and it is Your way of allowing them to see You for who You are and who You desire for them to be. It is what is on the inside that matters most. Yes, they can look beautiful on the outside, and yes it is important to look your best, but it is who they are on the inside that You will use for Your Glory. Lord, I thank you for each girl and I pray that You speak to their hearts and give them the makeover of all times! Your makeover! It’s in Jesus’ name that I pray. Amen.

Love you bunches,

Tonya <3

___________

For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

___________________________________

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Winning Him Without Words: When We Don’t Agree

October 18, 2012 by

This blog is brought to you today by Sarah Boyer & Christi Wilson

“How am I supposed to compete with that?” Do you ever say that when you see an ad with a Victoria’s Secret model or see a skinny young thing on TV with everything where it ought to be (thanks to Photoshop!)? I do. Today’s world places so much emphasis on youth and beauty; it is hard to not get caught up in the hype to look younger, thinner, and less wrinkly.

But what if your husband sees these same commercials and ads and starts to suggest that you wear skimpy outfits like those women. Or what if he subscribes to a certain type of magazine or visits sites online that portray women in sexual situations that you know are wrong and demoralizing, but your husband thinks would be fun? After all, the bible says to submit to your husband. But how far is too far?

I love how Lynn answers this tough question. You need to talk about setting boundaries in the bedroom. Your husband married you because he loves YOU, not what you can do for him sexually. He needs to respect your wishes and you need to do the same for him. But he can never expect you to do things you feel are inappropriate or make you feel ashamed.  If you sit down and talk about what you are both comfortable and not comfortable with, there can be no misunderstandings. No, it won’t be an easy conversation, but it is just as important as discussing money issues and child rearing methods. The marriage bed is supposed to be a comfortable and enjoyable place to be. Without setting boundaries, you won’t be able to relax and enjoy love making with your husband and that is not what God wants for you.

What if your husband calls you a “prude” because you are Christian?  You need to reassure him and tell him that God approves of sex between a husband and a wife and that you are not, nor will you ever become a prude because you are a Christian. Sex is a beautiful thing between a husband and wife. It is the most intimate way you can show your love for one another. There is no need to be prudish about sex with your husband. God designed us to be intimate with our spouses. He wants us to enjoy sex too! Read Song of Solomon if you doubt me! The whole book is dedicated to the story of pursuing love, expressing love, and enjoying love…being able to abandon ourselves to our husbands wholeheartedly and with passion, holding nothing back. That doesn’t sound like God wants us to be prudish to me!

I love what Lynn wrote at the end of this section:  Intimacy, love, sex, trust, forgiveness, commitment, respect – all of these are components of married love and are gifts from the Lord. Enjoy!

One more problem that can come up in our sex lives is agreeing on WHEN. As wives and mothers we are tired! We work full time jobs, we take care of the kids, we cook, we clean, and then at the end of the day we are expected to be enthusiastic lovers when we really want to just go to sleep. I understand, but getting into this pattern of work, cooking and cleaning, and taking care of kids puts your husband last on the list. Men are physical beings, connecting in the bedroom is how they express their most intimate love for you. You need to make an effort not to deny him. Yes we are tired, but you really need to make an effort to make time for love making with your husband. Remember when you were first married? Your guy was the most important thing in your life, next to God of course. Make an effort to rekindle those feelings for your husband and make time for him just like you did when you were newlyweds!

Godspeed,

Sarah

________________________

For the last couple of days, we’ve been talking about the pleasures of the marriage bed.  But today, I want to add a little something to think about.

What about women who have sexless marriages?  For those marriages that have physical problems, maybe one spouse is physically incapable of having sex.  Is it okay that this marriage is sexless, if both parties agree that it’s okay?  Or is it a detriment to the marriage because it leaves room for temptation?

What about those women whose husband has no sex drive?  There are men out there who are unable to perform sexually due to medical reasons, but are unable to take certain medications because of other physical problems.  Is this sexless marriage okay?  Or does this leave room for temptation?

What about the couple that realizes that physical problems prevent them from having sex, but they are okay with it?  They love each other anyway.  Is that sexless marriage okay?

Sex is such an important part of marriage.  But we have to realize too, that there are reasons couples cannot have sex.  They may be able to do everything else, but unable to complete the lovemaking.  If this is truly acceptable to both parties, is this something God would approve?

We just have to keep these things in mind when it comes to having a satisfying sex life.  There are other ways of having a fulfilling sex life without intercourse.  I know this is bold, but it’s the truth.  If both couples agree to a sexless marriage, I personally do not feel there is anything wrong with this, especially when it comes to physical problems preventing it; but I do believe that both parties must be in total agreement with it.

Whatever you do, PRAY!  Pray the Word of God over your marriage, over your bedroom, over your bed, over your husband’s pillow.  As Sarah suggested above, take the book of Song of Solomon and pray it over you and your husband in 1st person, such as:  “(Spouse’s name) is my beloved, and I am (Spouse’s Name), and his desire is only for me.  And so on.  Read the whole book!  If you have to, read it out loud when you go to bed together!

Listed below are some good books that I would suggest for couples who are just struggling in the bedroom:  “Sex Begins in the Kitchen” by Dr. Kevin Leman  — “Sheet Music” by Dr. Kevin Leman — “The 5 Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Smalley – There are many other great books out there to choose from.

God bless,

Christi

_____________________

Let’s Pray:

Lord, sometimes as wives we view sex as a “have to” instead of a “want to” which creates a roadblock to our intimacy with our husbands. Please help us to remember that You intended sex to be a fun and loving activity with our husband. Help us to put away the stresses of life and enjoy our intimacy with our husbands. Let our intimacy bring us closer together and help us to stay connected. Remind us that You want us to enjoy sex with our husbands, giving our full abandon.

We pray for those marriages who are physically incapable of having sex.  We ask Lord that You give these couples creative ideas on fulfilling each other sexually.  In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:

I would like you to describe below the best date you had with your husband while you were dating. As you write about it, remember how you felt on that date. Remember the anticipation you felt while getting all dolled up for your guy. Remember how he looked, and remember your feelings for him during that date. Write it all out and then as soon as possible, recreate that date!

 

 ____________

For those who are reading this blog and would like to join this Bible study, we would love to have you join us! Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple! We hope to see you soon!

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Lady In Waiting: Eyes of Faith

October 17, 2012 by

 

The first thing that struck me when I read this section of the book was the first line. “Orpha’s example of going after the available men could have influenced Ruth to return to Moab, the home of her parents and the gods of her youth. “

How many times have I let the examples of others lead me to places where God doesn’t want me to go? How many times have I let the examples of others lead me to people God didn’t mean for me? Sheesh, the first line and I am already beginning a series of introspective questions. But this is a good thing, I see it as God showing me the times in my life when I did not have eyes of faith, He’s using my past to teach me how to trust Him in my present and in my future.

Before I was married I had my daughter. I found myself a single mother with no prospect of a husband on the horizon.  I saw friends embarking on successful relationships, I saw my friends being happy, and well what I thought was happy at the time. And here I was, hopeless and alone.  I began to put my hope in my friends relationships; “if I only do this or that I will be happy and complete like them”, “If I go here or there I will find that successful relationship.” I was putting my hope in the wrong things and in the wrong people. I most definitely did not have eyes of faith.

Not having eyes of faith led me down roads I didn’t need to go down, it led me to have relationships I didn’t need to have. Not having eyes of faith separated me from God, it distanced me from him because I was telling him that I didn’t trust Him enough to bring me the husband I wanted,  the life I desired, it said I didn’t trust him to fulfill the promises he made to me, it went beyond me wanting a husband.

As the book said I needed spiritual eye wash. I needed God to reign me back in and I need to began working on eyes of faith. I once had the wrong mindset that walking in faith would mean that everything would fall into place, that my knight in shining armor would be standing on my doorstep once I  committed to trusting Gods plan for my life.  Nope. It did not happen like that. I had to wait and have him better my vision; I had to strengthen my sight before he brought my husband.  It was hard at times but I knew He was working on me, preparing my husband for me and me for my husband.

The good thing is that He is still working on me. I am still cleaning my eyes out daily in His word to become the Tonya He designed me to be. I can’t see into the future but my eyes of faith don’t have to, all I need to see is the words written on the paper, and in my heart. Some days are hard and I can’t see straight, I can’t feel the words on the paper. Despite my lack of feelings on those hard days, I know He’s still there. I know I can still trust Him.

Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Let’s pray:
Lord, faith is hard sometimes, it shouldn’t be but it is. I find myself questioning my life sometimes, I find myself asking question after question about my future. For that I’m sorry. Please forgive me for not having eyes of faith, for not seeing that you have my future planned out and that the future you planned is the one that is good for me. I may not see what you have in store but I will stop allowing the examples of my friends influence me in my actions, I will stop allowing their examples  to influence me to look where I do not need to be looking, what you planned for them is not what you planned for me. Thank you for this time of waiting that you have given me to strengthen my faith and to become the woman of faith you created me to be. I bind satan’s lies in your name. His whispers in my ears will not affect me. You know what you’re doing and I am going to trust in you. Thank you for your grace and mercy on the hard days, when I can’t see clearly.  You alone know what I need and when I need it.  In Jesus’ name amen

Your Assignment:
Is faith as a single woman ever hard for you? Does your vision blur from time to time? Let’s encourage one another, when you need “spiritual eye wash” what scriptures help you see better?

_________________

If you would like to take part in this Online Bible Study and Facebook Discussion Group, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button located at the top of our website, in the Menu Bar.  Once we receive your request, we will add you to our group!

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Winning Him Without Words: Bring on the Bedroom

October 17, 2012 by
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband. In the same way, the husbands body does not belong to him alone, but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent, and for a time, so you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Cor 7:3-5
I’m just going to reiterate some of the things written in this part of our chapter:
* This verse, like Lynn says, is God’s perspective on intimacy in marriage. Intimacy is a gift from God, something that we share only with each other. Created by God for marriage.
* It is supposed to be a pleasurable thing for husband and wife.
*We need to make the effort.
Let’s face it when we got married all we wanted to do was make love, for the first few months that’s all we do! But then life gets in the way and intimacy goes on the back burner. We have children and jobs and we get tired after dealing with these things all day. This part of our marriage is important to both of us and we shouldn’t neglect it. That being said and so as not to re-write everything that was written in our study, I want to share with some practical  things with you so you can enjoy and anticipate this vital part of your marriage, making it fun as you do!
The first thing I would have you do is pray! This is important because it puts things into a biblical mindset for you and also gets your heart in the right place.
When I first got married a friend of mine, who had been married for some time, gave me this advice that someone had given her when she married. Write down all the things that attracted you to your husband when you first met and married. It may not all be physical. Just all the good qualities and things that made your heart melt at the sight of him. Then go back and read it often and especially when you know it’s been awhile and you need to be reminded. Then think on those things!
Text him at work or call and leave a message of love for him on his phone. Sometimes I leave a little sticky note in his lunch box for him to find.
Buy a new negligee once in awhile and wear it on a night when it’s least expected and surprise him. I guarantee he will be in the mood!
Make reservations at a restaurant you both like and take him out on a date. Date nights are usually planned by us; so be as creative as you can. Dress to the nines!!
A picnic in the country or at a park you like to go to, just the two of you.
Fom Christi:  There is a candle that I will suggest to you, also.  It’s a Woodwick Candle.  It actually has a wood wick, so when the wick is lit, it crackles while it burns, making it sound like a mini-fireplace!! 🙂  Use this candle, especially if you have children, as a signal to your spouse that you are interested in making love with him that night.  BOTH of you can use this candle in this way!  Light it earlier in the day, so it gives each other time to prep and get the kids taken care of, before that special time alone.
On a grander scale here are some things you can do that I have found are very nice, whether it’s your  anniversary or a special occasion or just because:
I kidnapped my husband once. A week ahead of time I made reservations for dinner and a hotel in the town where my husband works. Then I had a friend drive me to his work and drop me off at his car. I was dressed in heels and his favorite dress and smelled wonderful! I looked GOOD!! When he came out to his car and found me there he was so shocked. I took over the wheel of the car and drove us to the hotel where he showered and changed ( I had packed a bag for him). We went to dinner and just enjoyed being together and the night!!! It was great fun for both of us!
We usually go somewhere for a couple days for our anniversary every year. It usually in our home state, so we don’t go too far, staying at a B&B. We find lots of unique places and it’s something we plan together months in advance and look forward to.
We also make sure to take a weeks vacation together, just the two of us every summer. We plan ahead and make it special by doing something we individually like together for a day. He likes sports, I like shopping. So we each get to enjoy it together. I can handle it for one day and so can he.
Every five years or so we attend a marriage seminar of some sort. It refreshes you and reminds you to think of your marriage as a priority, And they usually touch on the subject of intimacy too.
Let’ face it, day to day life is sometimes boring and we can let that leak into our sex life as well. Plan ahead and think of your husband. Anticipation is the key for us. God intended for us to be intimate, and it’s a very special part of our marriage. Let’s try to keep it alive and well. God says it is good and we should enjoy it!!!
If you are interested in more Date Night / Romance ideas, and you belong to our Facebook Discussion Group, please check the Files section of your group!  There are a ton of great ideas in that section of our your group!
_______________
Lets Pray:
God thank you for our spouses and our marriages. Help us to keep intimate with you and with each other. I pray that we would purpose to keep the intimate part of our marriage alive and well and honoring you. Remind us daily of our love for our husbands. Help us to be creative and loving in our planning for these times. Thank you lord of the gift of intimacy  with our husband. In Jesus name-Amen.
Your assignment:
I have shared a few things that I have done to keep our love alive in our marriage. What things, without giving too much detail, can you say you’ve done or are planning to do to help this part of your marriage to stay alive and well?  Maybe we can steal some of those ideas for ourselves!!!
Many Blessings,
Donna
_______________
If you would like to join this Online Bible Study and our Facebook discussion group, Please click on the “sign up” button at the top of this page and follow the instructions. We will add you as soon as we receive your request.
Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
« Previous Page
Next Page »