April 20, 2024

Lady In Waiting: Introduction to Meditations

Diane

Just like anything else, if you keep God out of meditation there is absolutely no point in doing it.  Meditation is defined as a written or spoken discourse expressing considered thoughts on a subject.  I find it HIGHLY important that discourse is defined as written or spoken communication or debate.  Meditation is not about feeling relaxed or a place where you can be calm.  Meditation is an opportunity for YOU to communicate with GOD about any subject you or He would like to discuss.  It is easy to think it is about us: our calmness, relaxation, peace from our craziness.  When in reality, it is all about being with and sharing with our Divine Lover, Jesus!

When you sit down for quiet time what does it look like?  Is your cell phone right next to you just in case your future husband decides to call you while you are trying to hear from God?  Are you alone or in a crowded coffee shop because even this is an opportunity to be seen by God’s man for you?  More importantly though, can I ask you what your heart looks like?  Is your heart open for what the Lord wants to share with you?  Are you willing to be patient and not leave your quiet time until you hear from God?  Does your heart desire to soak in all that God has for you in this moment?  We must empty of “ourselves” and fill up with the Spirit of the Lord!

This week we have been talking about patience.  I was looking forward to this week because this is where I most struggle.  Can I be honest with you ladies; I have not read one blog post this week so far.  Despite feeling the need to read what these women have openly prepared for us to read, I want to wait until I am ready to open my heart for the words God speaks through each and every one of their fingertips.  My heart wasn’t ready for what may be revealed in those posts.  I struggle with the waiting part of being single.  I do not so much struggle with actually being single, just with thinking I will be single forever.  I believe that as much as we are to be patient with God, He is always willing to be patient for us.  He is waiting for me to open my heart to the hearts of the ladies that have shared this week in our study.  He is waiting and His Spirit is praying for me that I will talk with Him about my struggles with patience.

I truly believe the best meditation with God is when we have the ambition to be beyond honest with ourselves and with God, trusting that no matter what the true state of our hearts are at that moment, it is safe to say God will surely transform them into more like His heart when we commune with Him.  He rejoices in the moment we turn to Him for communication.  Just like our Father in Heaven waits patiently for our hearts, so we wait patiently for the heart of the man He is preparing perfectly for us.

I plan to spend quiet time with God, when I know I am ready to get rid of all hindrances, reading the blog posts from this week.  Praying that God will bring out the important truths that I need to let sink into my heart.

Throughout this study of A Lady In Waiting, I just know each one of us struggled with something more than another.  That something more for you, please go back to this weekend or whenever your heart is ready to.  Go back to the chapter; go back to the blog posts for that week.  Most importantly go to God in meditation.  Seek His face in your time alone with Him.  Find out what is in the way of your heart being controlled completely by the perfectness of God and give it over to Him once and for all.  You will find in your moments of complete surrender God’s loving presence.

I pray that we take advantage of the opportunities in the back of the book for meditation with God.  As you work through each meditation, open your heart but also open your ears that you might hear what the Lord has been patiently waiting to whisper in your ear.  I promise it will be just what you need and it will sustain you in the struggles of singleness.

Let’s Pray:

Father God, I thank You so much that we have the privilege of talking to You every moment of every day.  I ask that You prepare the hearts of each and every one of these ladies for the words You want to speak to them.  I ask that they can clearly hear from You.  Lord, Your faithfulness and patience truly take my breath away!  Your love for us is incomprehensible.  I pray that inside of all of us is a desire to spend time with You, growing closer to You, and feeling Your presence in our lives making You more and more real to us.  Bring to light the area we struggle most with and help us to have the courage to spend time talking with You about this area.  I pray all of these things in Your precious name, Amen.

You’re Assignment: 

Look back on your journey through this study.  What are you struggling with still?  What area of your life is God not present in?  Go back to that chapter or topic, and spend a lot of quiet time with God being honest with Him about these struggles.  Ask God to make your heart ready to hear from Him.  Let His presence fill where that struggle once was.

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Our Next Single Women’s Online Bible Study

“Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul”

by John & Stasi Eldredge

Begins January 6, 2013

To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to studying “Captivating” with you!!

A Daughter’s Worth Week: 10 / Day 1 – Have a Story to Tell

When I was younger I was never certain I was going to Heaven.  I asked Jesus into my heart when I was five, but I could not say without a shadow of doubt that I would go to Heaven one day.  I was not ready for what that simple prayer I prayed at the wee age of five would do for me.  Though, I soon found out what I was not doing for that prayer.  There were days I would pray that prayer over and over, worrying that I said it wrong or didn’t mean it and had to keep saying it to make sure that there was no chance I was missing out on Heaven.  I spent a decent amount of time praying that God would save me, but from what I was not sure, and from where I was praying-no clue, all I was sure of was it was not coming from the sincerity of my heart.

Today, I can confidently say that I belong to God, and that I will be in Heaven one day.  It took me a long time to believe those words in my heart.  What about you?  Do you believe that you will be in Heaven one day?  Do you belong to God’s family?  If there is even a hint of doubt in your answer to those questions will you please reach out to a leader or pastor!  I cannot begin to explain to you the importance of praying with your heart the prayer of Salvation.  Simply believing that God sent HIS ONLY Son to DIE on a CROSS for YOU AND ME and then ROSE from the DEAD three days later; asking for forgiveness of your many sins and accepting JESUS into your HEART to help guide you and follow HIM, will not only guarantee your entrance to the gates of Heaven one day BUT it is also the start of the perfect story you have with the GOD of the UNIVERSE!

Have you ever thought about your story?  God already has a beautiful story written for you and Him to share together.  In this story you will grow closer to Him, learning to depend on Him for all of your needs.  Everyone’s story is different.  Everyone’s story has potential.  We are the ones that have to choose to embrace the pages of our stories.  It is not enough to just sit back and watch the pages turn.  We must act out on what we feel in our hearts.  We were told to read Acts 22:15-16 today.  Let’s take a look at it.

You will be his witness to all people of what you have seen and heard.  And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.

Do not get discouraged if you have not seen or heard from God lately or ever!  It is never too late to change your path and go another way…leading to Jesus.  The more time you spend with Him in prayer, reading the Bible, getting involved in church, etc. the more you will see Him and hear His gentle whispers in your life.  This life is short.  Those of us who know Jesus and call on His name, we are all saved by the blood of Jesus.  We will all get to live the life we were intended for in Heaven with Jesus one day!  Until then, we MUST flee sin and run into the Lord’s arms!  We must take advantage of this life as short as it is and use it as an opportunity to share our stories with others.

I know for certain God did not save me from a life of complete misery just to leave my story on a pretty shelf.  He saved me so that I may share my story; being a light to others and helping others find Jesus as they hear each chapter.  Today, I leave you with a piece of my story; I pray that you share pieces of yours in our discussion group!  One thing I know is that when we let God into our hearts, he transforms our stories into something amazingly beautiful!  I cannot wait to hear what God has done and will do in each and every one of your lives!

Little Tid-Bit of my Love Story with God

I am so thankful that I asked the Lord into my heart when I was 5.  Even though I was not certain what that meant, the Lord heard my words and he never ever left my heart especially when I turned from Him.  When I turned from Him it was the worst time in my life.  One night after too much heartbreak, I cried out to Him and asked Him to help me.  I was not expecting anything but to my surprise, God heard my cry, and helped me.  He protected me and saved me from a life of misery.  He is faithful!  I rededicated my life to the Lord. He is the love story I was always searching for.  I always thought I needed a man, but they all left me feeling empty inside.  When I embraced God, I found His love that fills every possible crevice in my heart and overflows into the lives of so many others that need so desperately to find HIS love.

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Let’s Pray:  Dear Heavenly Father, thank You honestly does not seem like enough to show the gratitude I have in my heart for what You alone have done for each and every one of us.  I ask that any girl who is reading this post and does not know You as her personal Savior, will find You and start embracing Your story for herself.  I ask that each one of these girls feels confident in the salvation You have given them, freely.  I pray that these girls truly live out the story You have prepared for them.  Bring opportunities into their precious lives to share their stories with others.  We love You Lord, oh so much and we cannot wait to see You in Heaven one day!!  Amen.

Love to my dear sisters in Christ,

Diane

For the A Daughter’s Worth Online Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Please email GCH_Decaf@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

Lady in Waiting: The Man Worth Waiting For

“When you finally submit completely to God’s authority and come into complete obedience, that is when His blessings begin to pour out!!!” Beth Thompson

My lovely Aunt who I admire a great deal, had this quote posted on her facebook wall years ago.  When I read that it hit my heart!  I was just starting to come into complete submission with God and as I read this quote, my heart smiled because of the truth behind each and every one of these words!  I was seeing how faithful God is and experiencing His many blessings, and for once I was overwhelmed with joy and not fear or heartbreak!  There is no doubt that God will bless us richly when our heart is right with HIS and in HIS control.  One blessing that I am still holding out for is a man who knows my story and loves me still.

Just as you, I sometimes wonder why I am still single.  I think to myself everything in my life is going so well except for one little detail…I do not have a husband to share it with.  If we were honest with ourselves, would everything really be going so well?  We pray for the right man to cross our paths, but are we even on the right path to find that man?  When our hearts are right with the Lord, are feet will follow suite on HIS path.  We must get rid of the urge to settle down with the wrong man; the men that come wrapped in perfect packages but when unwrapped they prove to be empty.  The man we will find on the right path one day will be filled with the Holy Spirit in his heart.  The package will not even matter, just his heart being right with God will leave a lasting impression.

Please think about this for a moment.  Ask God to direct you to the right path.  Desire to see the unfailing handsomeness in the man God has for you and not be distracted by the fading looks on the outside. 

My sister is one very wise woman, she told me once that God is preparing me for my husband just as much as He is preparing my husband for me.  Maybe my husband is not ready yet to meet me.  LOVE THAT, DON’T YOU?  She has also told me once that I should be praying that God will open my heart to the man HE has for me and not the one that I think it should be.  OK, LOVE THAT EVEN MORE, DON’T YOU?  Thank you Kristen!

Please think some more about that advice.  Remember why you are waiting; God’s timing is the best; you have no idea where your husband is right now.  Just as we are becoming ladies in waiting, our husbands are being molded into OUR VERY OWN MR. RIGHT.  Wouldn’t you wait forever for that?  Pray that God would open your heart and eyes to the man He has planned for you; get rid of any personal ideals (B.B.B or T.D.H’s).

Do you even know the man you are waiting for?  Yes it is the man that will be your husband one day, but what other qualities will he possess?  Sit down and think about the characteristics given on pages 131-133 in the Lady in Waiting book.  Which of these do you desire in a husband?  Husbands are just people; their characteristics are what make them worth waiting for!

I want to leave you with this excerpt from one of my personal blog posts.  This is the man I am waiting for, I know him and most importantly HE knows GOD!  This is my heart’s desire for our relationship.

 We will make God number one, and live our lives completely surrendered to God’s plan and will for our lives. We will do great things all in the name of Jesus. We will worship, praise, love, honor, glorify, and spread Jesus to the ends of the Earth. I will have Jesus holding my right hand, and this man holding my left, and together we will be an example of true love that comes only from Jesus Christ!

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Let’s Pray: 

Lord, I want to thank You for the many blessings that You pour out into our lives on a daily basis!  Your love is life changing and I pray each woman reading this blog experiences a new level of Your love today and every day forward.  I pray that she sees her future “husband” for what he truly is and waits patiently for the one You have planned.  Our hearts wait patiently for You, and they also wait patiently for our Mr. Right.  I pray that when the time comes, You show each of us the man You have planned for us.  I ask that You help each of us to submit completely to YOU and that we come to complete obedience to YOU.  Thank You Jesus for being all we need.  I love You so much!  Amen

You’re Assignment: 

You guessed it, please share with us what the man you are waiting for is like.

 

Love and Prayers,

Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 9 / Day 1 – Academic Expectations Are High

What class do you enjoy going to the most at school, the one that you do really well in?  The class I would enjoy the most would be the one where they teach you how to be a social butterfly I would have gotten straight A’s without even trying in a class like that!  Too bad that class most certainly does not exist!  In high school, we have the privilege of picking a few classes that interest us.  However, there are a ton of classes we are forced to take that may not be something we are naturally good at or interested in.   I am sure there are a ton of classes you could think of that you would love to take; it’s just that your school does not offer them as an option.

In school, I always had to work really hard to get straight A’s.  A’s did not come naturally for me.  I did receive mostly A’s but I always wished I would have received all A’s.  Then maybe my parents would have been more excited when I brought home a report card.  Maybe then, I would have felt better about my academics compared to other students in my grade.  In high school, I truly felt tons of pressure to keep up with the smartest students and get straight A’s.  I am very thankful that our Perfect Teacher above does not get discouraged with us when we miss an A here or there.  Our Teacher in Heaven is pleased when He looks down and sees His precious students using their time wisely, studying hard, and doing the absolute best work they can do, bringing glory to God always!

I love when Ava reminds us, “The Father promises that although you may fall temporarily, He will never let you stay defeated.”   It is so true!  If we have done the best we could and still receive anything but an A, we do not need to let our own disappointment get the best of us.  We do not need to live in defeat over anything other than A’s.

We learned in today’s lesson that we must be strong and courageous and do the work, even the work we may not enjoy.  I believe the work that we do not enjoy doing we should pray about.  Think about all of the subjects in school that you do not enjoy one bit.  Ask God to help you find interest in those subjects.  He can turn those not so interesting classes into the ones we wish existed!  We have the power to pray to God to help us concentrate on tests, and help us to use our time wisely as we study.  Let’s thank God for His presence in every aspect of our life…even school!

When we set high expectations for all A’s or feel the pressure of expectations others may have for you, please remember this simple truth:  If you fail to reach those expectations you will only fall into God’s open arms full of comfort, love, and strength to get back up and try again!  God may watch you fall but He will always help you up again.  You may not reach all A’s but with God’s help you will reach a lot more A’s then you would without Him!  When you work your hardest at school for God, even if you do not get an A on paper, God sees an A for your best effort!

Let’s Pray: 

Lord, I thank you for helping us at school.  I pray that as these girls go through the pressure of getting straight A’s that you help them keep their focus on doing their best for you…whatever grade that may be, in your eyes their best is always an A.  Help each one of these girls to rely on you for help.  I pray they are strong and courageous and desire to work hard always for you in everything they do.  Thank you Lord for allowing us to learn new things every day!  We love you and praise YOU, Amen!

Love, Diane

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

Lady in Waiting: Lady of Conviction – Damaged Goods & Destiny

 

Conviction, strong in my faith, unrealistic, all different ways to describe comments I have gotten based on decisions I have made in my dating life.   As I read the letter that Cindy writes in the beginning of our chapter a few different emotions went through me.  Admittedly, one was cynicism.  (“Oh sure, it’s easy to write a letter like that on the day before your wedding Little Miss Perfect!”), another was kinship (I totally understand the want for a godly man and others thinking I am too “picky”), and yet another was hope (Well she found someone who satisfied her wants, maybe there is hope for me too.).  Sometimes I feel like there are so many mountains to climb between single motherhood and my Christianity that no man is going to want to make the effort.  Yes, there are times when my conviction wavers because I am lonely or I am feeling time ticking by too quickly, but there hasn’t been a time when those feelings were strong enough to compromise my beliefs.

Is this an easy way for us Jesus girls to live in today’s society?  Absolutely not.  But the rewards are what is worth it.  One thing I highly suggest for those of you who aren’t already doing it, it spending time with our Lord, especially when feeling lonely.  Now by spending time with the Lord I don’t mean (just) reading a devotional or your bible, but REALLY spending time with Him in what I call Listening Prayer.  Be still.  Don’t talk.  Ask Him to speak to you.  Focus your mind on him with worship music or repeating a phrase.  (When I have trouble focusing my mind I repeat the phrase “Bring it back to Jesus” as many times as I need to!)  And girls, I promise, He will show up!  My most fulfilling times prayer times are when I am in listening prayer.

It is during a time like this He gave me the hope I needed for when I am hanging onto my convictions by a thread.  I was asking Him about my singleness.  I clearly “heard” Him say to me: “It is going to be amazing”.  Oh I questioned it, whether it was really Him, if I was planting the thoughts, and on and on and on.  Without making this story too long, He did confirm things for me, assuring me that yes, it was Him.  This is what helps me be strong like Ruth was.  She didn’t settle.  She held out for God’s best too.  I love when the author says she got her Boaz instead of a Bozo! 🙂 We deserve better than a bozo too!

Ruth also gives those of us with a past we may not be proud of some hope.  She could have just fell into the cycle of her family’s sins.  Following in the ways of the world at that time (which isn’t much different than what we see today) would have been easy for her.  She could have went back to her family and lived her life the way everyone else was.  But Ruth wanted more.  She made the choice to break the cycle of generational sin and start a new cycle of godly living.

This is something I struggle with a lot.  I lost my virginity through a sexual assault, which sent me into a spiral of poor decisions.  I look back sometimes and I just wish that I had known Jesus back then.  I like to think that I would have handled things differently, although I know there is no guarantee of that.  I see the things I did, the fact that I am not pure, the fact that I have a child out of wedlock, and I wonder how any godly man would want to come anywhere near me.  What I continually try to remind myself is that the man God has for me will see me for the woman I am now.  The way I am living now.  He will give me the grace needed to see through my past and into our future.  That is the man God has for me, and for you too.

How do we stay strong in all these choices we are called to make?  By knowing, and standing by, the convictions given to us in His word, even in the difficult times.   I leave you today with Deuteronomy 30:15 – 20:

 Look at what I’ve done for you today: I’ve placed in front of you: Life and Good, Death and Evil.

And I command you today: Love God, your God. Walk in his ways. Keep his commandments, regulations, and rules so that you will live, really live, live exuberantly, blessed by God, your God, in the land you are about to enter and possess.

But I warn you: If you have a change of heart, refuse to listen obediently, and willfully go off to serve and worship other gods, you will most certainly die. You won’t last long in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.

I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live. And love God, your God, listening obediently to him, firmly embracing him. Oh yes, he is life itself, a long life settled on the soil that God, your God, promised to give your ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

 

LET’S PRAY

Lord God our Father, thank you for letting us know your wishes for our lives.  So clearly in Your Word we are given your expectations and desires for us.  Thank you also for the gift of free will.  Although through this gift we stumble in the flesh, you are always there with grace, love and forgiveness.  We strive to live in your will for us, live strong in our convictions, and I ask that you supply each and every woman reading this with the strength to live this out.  In Your Name I pray.  Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

What are your convictions when it comes to dating?  Why did you choose these criteria?

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Lady in Waiting: Lady of Conviction (Reading Assignment)

Welcome to week 9!  I can’t believe how much we have covered already, and the topics will only get better and more helpful as we come up to our closing chapters.  This week we are going to learn what it means to be a lady of conviction, and how stand stong in our Lord.  I pray that this study is blessing each and every one of you.  I know for me it isn’t easy, but it is definitely beneficial, no matter the struggles.  We are perfectly imperfect and as long as we continue to seek Him, we will grow in Him each and every day.

Here are the reading assignments for the week:

November 26: Lady of Conviction / Damaged Goods / Destiny – Jackie
November 27: Chance or Choice / Standard Bearer – Michelle
November 28: Avoiding Bozos – Tonya
November 29: Wedding Day Chains – Tonya
November 30: The Man Worth Waiting For – Diane

LET’S PRAY

Lord, I ask for your blessing upon each and every woman in this study.  You know their hearts even better than they do.  Through this study, through this book, and especially through your Word speak to them.  Give them what they need to hear and give them the clarity to recognize it even when it isn’t easy.

In Him,

Michelle

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

Lady In Waiting: Mystery of Contentment – Stop Arguing with the Umpire

 

Every once in a while I will see a status on Facebook from my married friends out there that introduces her husband as something like this…the love of her life, all she ever needs, her savior, her one and only.  Every time I see that all that comes to mind for me as the only thing that could ever fill those descriptions perfectly is MY GOD IN HEAVEN.  God does not have to share me with anyone just yet; I like to think that is why I am still single; He just isn’t ready to share me yet!  Have you ever thought of that before?

In reality the man we marry one day is not perfect.  He is far from being the love of our life or all we ever need, he most certainly is not our Savior, and he is not the only one for us.  If you are wishing and dreaming and hoping and wanting your husband to be those things…you will never find contentment.  When you truly search for God and seek Him will all of your heart, you will find that He is the true love of your life, all you need, your Savior, and most certainly your One and Only!  This is where your contentment is found.

In our world it is very easy to fall into the trap of the lie that when you finally get married, you will be completely satisfied and content in your husband alone.  That lie is seriously deadly.  We are putting expectations on a man who were never intended for him.  We make this husband we are searching for an idol in our lives.  This world is the last place you should be receiving relationship advice from.  Our God in Heaven speaks relationship advice to our hearts, we just need to open our ears to Him and listen.

The relationship advice He gives us is all for the relationship that we can have with HIM.  As single ladies and also as married ladies, our focus can sometimes be shifted onto other relationships in our lives or the search for a relationship in our life.  We lose contentment when we forget about the most important relationship we can have with Jesus.  Jesus is where we will find lasting joy, peace, love, contentment, and the list goes on and on.  Our identity is found in God alone.  He is where our heart is.

There will come a day when God will hand over the key to our hearts that he has been guarding our whole lives.  He will share us with the Godly man He has planned for us.  We must not be in danger of taking that key out of His hands and giving it to the first man who comes along because the clock is ticking and no potential soul mates are in sight.  That is just about the worst thing we can do.  We should be waiting for God’s timing and the journey does not have to be a lonely one, you have Jesus to go along with you every day!  The journey of a single woman is one I believe a married woman would envy just as much as we envy a married woman’s husband and family from time to time.

I believe the most important thing about these single years is that we have the opportunity to find all of the things we desire in God alone.  We want happiness, love, joy, peace, security, etc.  We can have all of that and more in God alone!  When our Mr. Right does finally come along, we are not expecting him to be what he is not able to be for us; because we have already found all of that in God.  This is where true contentment comes into play.  We find that no matter the circumstance, we have God.  No matter if we are single, or married, we are never alone and we are always cared for.

I am famous for taking matters into my own hands especially when it comes to my love life or lack thereof.  I fight with the Umpire-God.  I fight for my husband.  I am learning to give up the fight.  God has already done the fighting for me.  All I have to do is embrace HIS plan for my life and my love life.  I need to embrace the victory God has already won for me!  He has won victory for you too.  Don’t let the lies from Satan steal your contentment any longer!  Stand firm in God’s love for you and embrace this life He has given you each day!  Thank Him for the man he chooses to share you with one day.

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Let’s Pray:

Father God, I praise you and thank you for being all that we truly ever need!  I love that you bring true contentment to everything in our lives from the little to the big.  I ask that you help each of us married or single to embrace the life you have blessed us with.  I pray that you help each and every one of us to strengthen our relationship with you.  I thank you for the opportunities we have to grow closer to You, help us to make the most of each of those opportunities instead of missing out on the joy they bring by wanting what you do not have for us.  I thank you for listening to us and loving us so much!  Amen

Your Assignment:

Honestly think about the man who you would want to share life with.  Tell God all about what you are looking for, pray over your list.  See what God shows you He has for you-man or no man.  In our group, share with us one way you have tried to take your love life in your own hands.  How can we help one another to give up the fight and embrace victory with God?

Love to you all!
Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 8 / Day 1 – You Can Choose the Right Guy to Date

When I was younger I liked guys all of the time, but I never dated any of them.  In fact they never knew I liked them and it was ok because they never liked me.  Anytime I would talk about guys and my dad would over hear he would say, “Is he a Christian?”  I used to get so annoyed with my dad for throwing in that comment any time I would talk about something as simple as a crush on the cute guy with a pretty smile in my math class.  Only after I started dating someone who was most certainly not a Christian did I wish I would have listened to the advice my dad had given me on dating years prior.

As a teenager it is so hard to truly want to listen to your parents.  You hear what they say, but you want to figure things out for your own.  You want to take risks; they want to stop you from that type of behavior.  You want to try new things; they want to tell you not to because they have been there done that and you just should not be doing certain things.  Even though we cannot see it at the time, our parents are stopping us from things because they love us.  They do not want to see us make mistakes.  I know I wish I would have listened to my parents more than I did.

I know the feeling you get when you find out a guy likes you.  I know how good attention from guys can feel.  There is one feeling that is way beyond what those ones may feel like: the love God has for you.  Do you know how good that feels?  If you do not know, I highly suggest that you spend some time getting to know God so you can find out first hand just how amazing it is!  When we truly know God’s love for us, it will make us want to find the man God has for us and not settle for any guy that thinks we are pretty or who gives us attention from time to time.

Have you ever thought about what you want in a man?  Have you ever thought about what a relationship should be like?  Try writing down a list of qualities that you would like in a man.  (See page 105 and 2 Corinthians 7:1)Keep that list and pray about it to God.  When you are in a relationship ask yourself, honestly, does this relationship bring you closer to God or pull you away from Him?  If you hold out for a man who has the qualities you have been praying for- chances are you will grow closer and closer to God together!  Any relationship that brings you closer to God is definitely a good one to have.

Personally, I struggled with dating.  I never thought that there were men out there that would be what I wanted (someone who loves God, goes to church, reads the Bible, is kind to others, and will love me as Christ wants someone to love me).  So, as my high school years came and gone, I decided that I needed to change my standards.  I ended up settling for an older man who was not a Christian.  GIRLS, this was the biggest mistake I have ever made.  I ended up stuck in an abusive relationship.  I KNOW now that waiting for the man God has for us-a good guy who is devoted to God will come our way!  God will bring you together in His timing.  It is so important to hold out for that man.  And the best part is while you wait-you have the opportunity to grow closer to God and experience so much of the perfect love He has for you!

Please remember that you are not defined by what guys say or by how they make you feel, if you are getting attention from them, or getting no attention at all.  The only thing you are defined by is the love Jesus has for YOU!  You have the privilege to CHOOSE the man you go on a date with.  Make sure you make God apart of your choosing process.  Praying to Him to lead you to the right man will save you from heartache and the pain of dating the wrong one!

Let’s Pray: 

Lord, I thank you so much that you love us with unconditional love that no man will ever be able to replace.  I love that you have handpicked a man for us if that is your will in our lives.  I pray that these girls and I are able to hold out for this man.  I pray that we never settle for less than the best you have for us.  As these girls start to date, I pray that they choose wisely the men they bring into their lives.  May they seek you in each decision they make.  We love you so much and thank you for guarding our hearts.  AMEN!

Much Love to YOU all,

Diane

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Lady In Waiting: Quitting the Hunt

Do you absolutely love this book yet??  I love it even more the second time around!  There is just page after page of truth, encouragement, and love.  The words I have searched for…there they are written on the page so matter of fact-ly.  With Jesus first and my boyfriend second, I will have lasting peace and security.  I absolutely love the wisdom behind each one of Debby’s words.  You may think this quote does not work for you because you do not have a boyfriend so there is no possible way you can be putting a boyfriend first before God, you are all good.  That is so WRONG!  For me, I do not have a boyfriend, but I can so easily see how I put the hunt for my boyfriend and eventually husband way above Jesus.

When we do this it may seem harmless, or impossible to stop.  There is something so important about truly putting God first: you receive his lasting peace and security.  Maybe if we have been feeling insecure lately, we can look at where we are finding our security.  Chasing after men will never lead to security or peace.  Those gifts from above are only available when we surrender the hunt to God and start chasing after all HE has for us!

Reading through Debby’s journal entries I felt quite convicted.  I have so gotten to that point in my life where all I could do was pick up the pieces of my broken heart and hand them over piece by piece to My Perfect Healer.  I too, have asked Jesus to keep my heart safe, guard it, keep the key, and give it to only the one who He has for me.  I made a pact with God that I would seek HIM first and when a man came along I would pray to Him alone to see if this would be the man to hold the key to my heart one day.  I was doing so well with this until I was about to turn 24.

The closer and closer it got to my 24th birthday the further and further I got away from that perfect security God had given me.  I wanted to be married by the time I was 25…there was no way now that this was going to happen because I am single at 24.  We all have our ideal futures, don’t we?  Please, tell me I am not the only one that had an idea of how they were going to meet their husband, how they were going to start dating, how he would propose, how they would be happy and married one day: sooner rather than later.    Has your ideal future ever come true?  I am here to tell you, unless your ideal future is completely in line with God’s future for you; it is never coming true.  You can stop wishing and hoping for something so miniscule compared to what God has for you: THE BEST YOU NEED.

Just so happens instead of a man, this study came into my life right after my 24th birthday.  This study has truly helped me through a struggle: a struggle of putting the hunt for my non-existent boyfriend over God.  This study was what I needed and what you need and God knew that!

This study is instrumental in keeping my focus on God and not on my husband.  It has helped me seek God more often.  It has helped me to find support from other ladies that are struggling with the same exact thing as me.  It has brought me closer to God.  It has made me realize that my ideal future is NOTHING compared to the ACTUAL future God has for me.  I am on a mission to embrace HIS future.  Where is your mission leading you: to YOUR ACTUAL ALMIGHTY GOD or to your ideal man you thought of one lonely night?

I want you to understand something as I write this to you ladies.  The reason I feel convicted is because I may have given God my heart, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t tried to get it back from Him on several occasions.  It does not mean I do not struggle with being single and 24!!!  There is one image I see daily that almost always is a struggle to see.  A man and a woman holding hands walking together, sometimes her head is rested on his shoulder, but it doesn’t have to be just the hands in one gets me.  You see I have always wanted to hold hands with a man-my man.  When I see others doing what I want so badly to do I instantly think, “Lord, why can’t I have a man holding my hand as I walk down the street?  I am learning that I can have that man but I can also have the man God has for me.  I am waiting oh so patiently for the man who will one day be holding my hand in one and the key to my heart in the other.  As a lady in waiting I pray that YOU do the same.

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Let us Pray:  Lord, thank you that you give us so many blessings on a daily basis.  Thank you for your blessing of security that we find in you alone.  I pray that each and every one of us will be able to put down the ideal man and chase after receiving your many blessings.  I pray that we are able to support each other along our journey.  I thank you and praise you for bringing this group together.  I pray that you help all of us to be patient, waiting for your perfect timing in our lives.  We love you so incredibly much, Amen!

Your Assignment:  Please share with us-What is ONE THING you have learned/ gained from this study thus far?  What is the ONE thing that you see from couples that you struggle with on your journey as a lady in waiting?  In your quiet time-Pray to God, be honest with Him.  If you are ready give Him your heart.  If you are ready make a pact with Him about what you are going to do or not do to make sure God is put first, always.

Much love to you ladies,

Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Lady in Waiting: Motive Check

The less I give, the more I get back.” Anyone ever heard the song Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars? The male and female vocalists express their misinterpretations of the others’ love. In this line the male slyly remarks on how his lack of giving actually causes the woman to give more. Ever felt that way? At times I feel that I give my whole heart, energy, and attention to the men in my life and receive little in return. Even worse, I have come to expect that I will not receive back what I put into relationships with men. Before this begins to target men as the issue and we all get up in arms about how rude they are to act that way, let’s look at the words that I used here. First of all I used ‘men”, and not ‘a man’ – I have put my time and energy into men who I am not invested in a serious relationship with, hoping that they would give me something in return. Secondly, I used ‘men’, and not ‘my friends.’ If my purpose in helping, giving, and supporting is to get the attention of men and get something in return, then I am doing it with the wrong motives.

In any service, one’s entire focus ought to be to bless the other person without the expectation of receiving anything back. This goes for relationships with men and women alike. Now if all you are looking for in helping that male friend clean up his house, do his laundry, or pick out something to wear to an interview is a date request, a snuggle session, or a kiss goodnight, check your motives. This is especially difficult for me because ‘acts of service’ is most certainly my love language. I enjoy nothing more than helping out a friend in need, but I must always ask myself why I desire to help this person out.

I love the idea of taking care of a man. I want to be a wife to, to comfort, to encourage, to support a man. Even though I am single, I still have this desire, so when a male friend that I care about is hurting, is in need, is frustrated, or needs my help, I want to jump in and take care of him right away. I do not think that this is a necessary evil. I think that there are very healthy ways to exercise our sexuality outside of marriage, and figuring out what that means for you is important. However, I do think we need to check our hearts and our motives in making these choices. If you are ignoring and denying friends help who have “nothing to offer” in the way of a romantic relationship, but pouring out tons of love and attention on the men in your life who may be possibilities, this ought to be a red flag.

Our good deeds, our help, our love and attention, should not be done in order to receive something back or with selfish motives. All kinds of caring should be for the benefit of the other person, not your own benefit. Don’t let yourself become a person who gives with selfish motives and then pitches a fit when all you get is a sweet ‘thank you’ or a hug in return. Many men will most certainly appreciate your generosity, but any act of service is much more appreciated without strings and ties attached. If you are unsure of your motives, ask yourself the last time you went that far out of your way to help out a girlfriend in need. Ask yourself the last time you turned down the opportunity to help out a guy, in order to instead help out your sister.

Now, with your heart in check, go, do good deeds, love on everyone who crosses your path, and don’t plot out how you can win a man’s heart by giving him all of yours before he has even earned it.

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Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father, thank you for creating us with a desire to give, to help, and to love. Thank you for giving us relationships with men and women who we can bless with those gifts! Give us the wisdom to check our motives, analyze our intentions, and act in an upright way. Teach us to be servants to all people in our lives, without expecting anything in return. Teach us to love others the way you love them.

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Your Assignment:

What are ways that you have blessed someone by helping them out this week? Can you say that your motives were pure? Tell us ways that you have helped out your friends. Compassion? Patience? A listening ear? Help with a move? Find a way to bless a sister in Christ, or a brother that you have no intentions of having a relationship with. No strings attached. Report back when you do!!

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!