November 5, 2024

Utterly Unselfish

February 8, 2015 by

SeekingHimLogo

<If I>…have not love (God’s love in me), I gain nothing.
Love endures long and is patient and kind;
love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy,
is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride);
it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly.
Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way,
for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful;
it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness,
but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
Love bears up under anything and everything that comes,
is ever ready to believe the best of every person,
its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances,
and it endures everything [without weakening].
Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].
1 Corinthians 13:3b-8

Does reading this passage make anyone else uncomfortable?  It is like reading a list of my most glaring faults.  I strive to live and love this way, but, mostly, I fall exceedingly short.

My Life Application Study Bible has this note for the above passage:

“God’s kind of love is directed outward towards others, not inward toward ourselves. It is utterly unselfish. This kind of love goes against our natural inclinations. It is impossible to have this love unless God helps us set aside our own natural desires so that we can love and not expect anything in return.”

Look at it like this…

{Love} is patient/long-suffering  {Love} is NOT envious
{Love} is kind                                       {Love} is NOT jealous
{Love} bears all things                      {Love} is NOT proud
{Love} believes the best                   {Love} is NOT rude
{Love} does not celebrate evil     {Love} is NOT self-seeking
{Love} rejoices when truth wins   {Love} is NOT irritable
{Love} never gives up
{Love} does not keep score
{Love} is always hopeful
{Love} is enduring
{Love} never fails

Utterly unselfish love, possible only with God’s help

Whew!!!  That’s a tall order.  Try reading that passage with your name in place of {Love}.  (Did anyone besides me just say OUCH?!?) I am not all those things yet…but I can continue to work towards them. What I need to remember is that is not important how many times I fail, but how many times I get back up. Perseverance is key. Hebrews 12:1b (NIV) encourages us to “run with perseverance the race marked out for us….” James 1:4 tells us we must “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” God will always be there to help if I am willing to persevere and ask Him for help. The neat thing—God has already provided us with everything we need. Paul reminds us of this in Galatians 5:22-23 (AMP):

But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence).

We have been given the Holy Spirit Who can strengthen these characteristics in us and bring them to light in our lives!

By this all people will know that you are My disciples,
if you have love for one another.
John 13:35 HCSB

The measure of Christian maturity is how we display love. We are nothing if we don’t have love. I want to be more than that. What I desire most is to display love as Christ did.

*  ~  ♥  ~  ✞  ~  ♥  ~  *

Father, help me persevere. I want to love as You love. Let my natural desires fade away as I seek to show love outwardly toward others…not considering myself. It is only possible with Your guidance and the Holy Spirit working in me. In Jesus’ name I ask this – Amen, So Be It!

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16 Day Love Challenge: Chapter 3 – Love Does Not Envy

November 6, 2013 by

16daylovechallengeenvygraphic

Let’s begin this lesson with learning what envy is.

In the Greek translation the word envy means “to burn with zeal,” or literally “to be heated or to boil over with envy.”

According to Holman’s Bible Dictionary envy is “painful or resentful awareness of another’s advantage joined with the desire to possess the same advantage.”  The advantage may concern material goods or social status.

The Bible agrees with the above definition.
Then I saw that all toil and all skill in work come from a man’s envy of his neighbor.
This also is vanity and a striving after wind.
Ecclesiastes 4:4 ESV

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.
Proverbs 14:30

Envy is an emotion inside of us that continues to build up resent when someone else gets or has something that we want. When we are craving what the other person has, instead of thanking God for what He has provided to us, all we are doing is hurting ourselves.

In Mark 7:21 it tells us that “within our heart” is the source of envy. Our heart is the part of our being where we desire, deliberate and decide. Within our heart is where envy is triggered and it begins to show it’s ugliness once it is set in motion in our thoughts and feelings.

I personally have struggled recently with this issue of envy in a particular area that I will share with you. Doctors have told my daughter that she would never be able to have a baby. When I was told this, I cried for days and, still at times, have moments of breakdowns. Every time I see pictures of her friends who are pregnant (and some of them even pregnant with twins), I immediately begin talking to God—maybe you could really call it complaining to God—as to why it is not my daughter who is the one having a baby…or concerning the girl having twins…why God could You not have given one of those babies to my daughter?

My envy in this is that I want to be a grandmother!!  I was only thinking about me and what I wanted.  I did not sit down and truly talk to God about what He wants for her and her husband’s life.

This is their life, not mine. I need to step aside and allow God to move and work in the way He has chosen. When, and if, this is His desire for their life God can overrule what the doctors have stated.

What I struggled to see was that God chose to bless these other couples, and it was the time for me to give thanks to Him for this wonderful blessing of life and not pout in envy because it was them and not my daughter (and me).

Envy festers inside us and keeps us stirred up. We must stay on our knees in prayer and not allow Satan the upper hand in this area by keeping these envious thoughts at the forefront of our minds. When we are envying, how can we love?

Love will make us blind to the things that other people have. Love doesn’t have any time to envy because we should be celebrating what God is doing.

“True love is God”, He laid himself down for us and He put us first before Himself; that is what we are to do for others as well. We are called to love not envy, and to realize that everything is done in His timing and at His will…not ours!!!

The cure for envy is love because love pushes envy out of our hearts. Envy is absent in our hearts when love is present. To love is to stop comparing.

I am so thankful God has shown me that I was harboring envy. He helped me to see that not only was I being resentful towards others, (not even wanting to see them because of my hurts), but He also helped me to understand that IN HIS TIME is when He answers.

As I sit here thinking about envy and love, I realize the freedom I can feel and have when I lay down envy at the feet of Jesus. When I stop wanting or desiring what others have, that is when love can take over my heart and I can be content with what God has provided to me.

**********

Let’s pray:

Dear God,

Help us to keep our thoughts away from what others have because that’s not what You want for us. Help us to look to You and Your plans for our life and to be content with what You provide. In Your name I pray.
Amen!

**********

Food for thought:

Think for a moment…are there any people in your life that you envy because they have something that you don’t? Confess it to the Holy Spirit right now and ask the Lord to forgive you and let Him fill that space of envy with love!

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Girls with Swords: Chapter 13 – “Sword of Forgiveness and Restoration” (pgs 191-198)

June 17, 2013 by

There is a cultural, learned pattern in our home the last several years which has been terribly hard to correct.  The concept of “stooping beneath” someone else is seen as subservient and undesirable.  Pride is prized above personal relationships.  Grudges are held until the reason for the anger can no longer be remembered.  Stubbornness and pride are not virtues in God’s economy; humbleness and forgiveness are.

My Bible tells me that “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).  None of us will get out of this life without making a mistake, hurting someone, needing to ask forgiveness— and through grace and mercy—be restored to a right relationship with the one you hurt.  We have only one life to live, so we should learn to live it well.  We need to realize our faults and failures before we hold the faults and failures of others up for all to see.

If we consider another person’s feelings above our own, we will not find ourselves with the “wrong motives” Lisa talks about on page 192.  It is one thing to be ‘against’ something, but what are we really “FOR?”  We have to be devoted to a greater cause than our individual rights and opinions.  Lisa says, “Though we are entrusted with a sword of the Spirit, we are not armed to harm.”  The Spirit within us will not strike out to harm another person.

The purpose of the Holy Spirit in our lives is to lead, guide, and direct us on the path of right living.  The Spirit will reveal the areas in our lives needing to be cut away and pruned so that we may continue to grow in the Lord.  Cultivate a soft heart so the work of the Spirit will be quick and less painful.  A tender, caring heart is a vessel the Lord can use.

I was stunned at the anger in the heart of a loved one the first time I heard the term “stoop beneath” used.  There was hurt and bitterness.  Even after hearing the one-sided details of the story she was angry about, I knew there had been wrong on both sides.  Neither party was willing to “stoop” to offer an apology or forgiveness.  A record of wrongs was being kept and that pattern was taught in the home for many generations.  We are still struggling to break down these generational “curses” with unconditional love.  The Bible will lead us to a right definition of LOVE in 1 Corinthians 13.  Make it your guide as you break down these family curses.

Lisa shares with us, “We do not fight to tear down but to build up.  The authority heaven lends to us on earth is to destroy evil by doing good.  Just because I have walked with the sword of God’s Word on my hip for more than three decades doesn’t mean I have always worn it well” (pg. 192).  When we lift our weapon in anger we leave a wound that needs to heal.  Without the soothing balm of forgiveness, the wounds begin to fester and leave scars.  Be quick to ask for forgiveness, grant forgiveness, and begin to restore the damaged relationship.

After the lessons on keeping silent last week, it is only fitting that we focus on WHEN we should speak, HOW we should speak, and for WHAT purpose we should speak.  In 1 Peter 4:11 we find this bit of wisdom, “If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God.  If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.  To Him be the glory and power for ever and ever.  AMEN.”

The story Lisa shared about the relationship with her own father struck a chord in my heart.  I was emotionally abandoned by my father and I replaced him with God when I was twelve.  The new girls in our home were neglected and abandoned by their father and my husband has taken them in.  I totally related to the feeling of abandonment…and then of JOY at realizing my God was my Father and He would not leave me or forsake me.

In our family we are all adopted by each other.  We choose to be a family and love each other.  Our story gets told over and over, but we are still hard for some people to understand.  When Lisa shared that God spoke so vividly to her that the rejection by her father was an overwhelming ADOPTION by her Heavenly Father I totally understood.  It was at that moment that I released my earthly father from his “duties.”  I began to rely on my Heavenly Father for nurturing and support.

Like Lisa, I find comfort in the words of Psalms 45:10-11

“Hear, O daughter, and consider, and incline your ear:

Forget your people and your father’s house,

And the king will desire your beauty.

Since he is your lord, bow to him”

Our earthly families are fallible.  Our earthly families can hurt us and we can hurt them.  We MUST show love like our Heavenly Father and offer forgiveness and restoration wherever possible.  Where stubbornness and pride live and flourish, Satan rules.  Do not give him a foothold in your life.  Keep your heart tender and soft, eager to forgive and be forgiven.  We are here to serve each other.  Someone will eventually need to “stoop” to show love.

I pray there are more great examples of fathers out there than neglectful ones.  We have a choice to show love like our Heavenly Father whether we had a good earthly example or not.  Choose today to reflect your Father.  It’s worth it.

Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your faithful love.  Thank You for seeing the beauty in my life and leading me in Your ways.  I thank You for my earthly father, because through him, I see You more clearly.  Today I choose to love others the way You love me.  AMEN

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LOVE One Another

May 4, 2013 by

Last week, I brought up a simple fact: loving God = obedience to Him.  After delving into the Scriptures, we were convinced that there is no way around it: if we want to love God we must obey His commands.

For this is what LOVE for God is: to keep His commands.
1 John 5:3

This week, we will look at one very specific area in which our obedience (or disobedience) clearly shows our LOVE for Him—our LOVE for one another.

1 John 4:21
And we have this command from Him:
The one who LOVES God must also LOVE his brother.

God specifically communicates, just as distinctly as in 1 John 5:3, that LOVE for Him requires obedience.  If we LOVE God, we keep His commands—we obey Him.  His command in this area is that we must also LOVE our brother (and sister).  And we are encouraged that ‘yes! I CAN do this!’ because we know that His commands are not too hard for us “…His commands are not a burden…” (1 John 5:3b).

Jesus was preparing His disciples for His soon-coming death, resurrection and departure.  One of the very important things that He spoke to them about was this very thing—LOVE—when He told them,

This is how everyone will know that you are my disciples,
if you have LOVE for one another.
John 13:35

Think about that for a moment, please.  Was there ever anyone who loved more, or better, or more completely, or selflessly than our Lord?  No…not ever.  But, we understand from His communication with His disciples that they would be recognized as His by their LOVE for one another.  Just amazing, isn’t it?  Truly, I believe, we also are recognized as His by our LOVE for one another.  How blessed are we!!!

We all know the ‘LOVE’ chapter of the Bible…that’s right, 1 Corinthians 13.  Contained in that portion of the Scriptures is God’s definition of what LOVE is.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient,
Love is kind and is not jealous;
Love does not brag and is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly;
It does not seek its own, is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with the truth;
bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails;

Dear children, let us not LOVE with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
1 John 3:18

The actions  are clearly defined for us in 1 Corinthians chapter 13:

  • being patient
  • kind
  • displaying no jealousy
  • or bragging
  • not being arrogant
  • acting becomingly (appropriately)
  • being selfless
  • not being provoked
  • not worrying about wrongs done to us
  • not rejoicing in unrighteousness
  • rejoicing in truth
  • bearing and believing and hoping and enduring all things

These are the actions—the attitudes of our hearts—that show, or prove, or display our LOVE.  Words are easy to say…but actions show the truth.  Amen?

Praying for you each (please pray for me, too!) as you endeavor to be obedient and to treasure the commands of our God.  Remember, loving God = obedience to His commands.  He has commanded that we LOVE one another and to LOVE with actions, not just idle words.

Let all that you do be done in LOVE.
1 Corinthians 16:14

Praying for each of you!

♥  coleen

LOVE God, LOVE People (lyrics)

how can i thank You for the way that you freely gave
LOVE so beautiful, unconditionally
had to stop, take a break, feelin’ good today
everything’s wonderful…You didn’t have to do this for me
but then i look and see all of the suffering, i wanna do something
but something’s gotta start with me

i can’t give it ‘til i live it
now that my eyes are open, teach me how to LOVE

LOVE God…LOVE people!  LOVE my neighbor as myself
my brother, my sister; everybody LOVE somebody

and now it’s time to make a change—revolution day
put it into action…live compassionately
you take the black and the white…red, yellow, brown
life gets better, it just gets better when we
we look around and see all of humanity
waiting on someone—someone is you and me

you can’t give it ‘til you live it
now that your heart is open, just reach out and LOVE

you can’t give it ‘til you live it
you can’t live it until you give it away
you can’t give it ‘til you live it
now that your heart is wide open, you gotta give all of your LOVE

you can’t live without giving LOVE
so let your heart be open; just reach out and, just reach out and LOVE <3

_________________________________

If you would like to send a personal message to Coleen, you may email her at:

Coleen@girlfriendscoffeehour.com, or leave a comment below.

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At Home with GCH: Happy Hearts Day Garland

February 6, 2013 by

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Raise your hand, please, if you like to decorate for (as we call it around here) Happy Hearts Day!  Uh-huh…I thought so!  Today I have a cute decoration for you to craft!  I have totally fallen in love with buntings (aka garland or banners)!  They can be made with almost any type of fabric or felt or scrapbook paper or wallpaper or ____!  The list goes on & on!  They can be made teeny-tiny and used as a cake topper; or really long and used for party decorations; or, my favorite, in a medium size and used to hang almost anywhere in your home.  The next time you have 2-3 hours to fritter away, <I know, I know…who does?> run away to Pinterest and you can find oodles and oodles of options, examples, and ideas!

Today, the bunting I’ve made is inexpensive, fairly quick, easily adaptable, and you can totally personalize it!   I needed 16 hearts to write out my chosen wording; if you don’t need as many to “say” your phrase, adjust the quantity of paper. You choose your color scheme…then your coordinating papers…then ribbon to match and maybe some different colored markers. Check it out!

Supplies and Tools

(4) sheets 12″x12″ solid color scrapbook cardstockIMG_0148
(4) sheets 12″x12″ patterned scrapbook paper (coordinating colors)

(1) piece of 8-1/2×11 copy/printer paper
4 yards 1/4″ ribbon
printer labels (I used 2″round; you could use 2×4″)
colored permanent markers (brands like Sharpie or Bic Mark It)
hole punch
scissors
decorative edge scissors (like this)
adhesive tape runner (like this)

Instructions
1.  Cut the piece of copy paper down into a 6″x6″ square.  Fold in ½ (3″x6″) and then draw the outline of one side of a heart using most of the piece of paper.  Cut out along your line.  Unfold  the paper; voila! a heart!  This will be your template.
2.  Cut all 8 sheets of scrapbook paper into 6″x6″ squares (cut in half, and then, in half again).

3.  Using the paper template and a pencil, trace onto each of the heavier-weight squares…16 in all.  Cut out along traced line.  Set aside.

4.  Now take the paper template, fold along the original crease mark, and cut off about ½” all around.  This will reduce the overall size of your template.

5.  Then, using the slightly smaller template and a pencil, trace onto each of the remaining 16 pieces of lighter-weight scrapbook papers.  Use the decorative edge scissors to cut out these hearts.

Almost ready to assemble!

6.  For the labels… Choose what you would like to write on your bunting.  As you can see, I am featuring the words of a section of 1st Corinthians 13.  You could simply put ‘I LOVE YOU!’  You can either write on them by hand (with the permanent markers) OR employ the use of your favorite wordprocessing program.  (That’s what I did!  You can achieve a very finished look with not much effort!  And lots of fun!) Use the directions included with the printer labels.

Almost done!

7.  Now to assemble: fiddle around with your cardstock hearts and paper hearts pairing them up to your satisfaction.

8.  Then, using the adhesive tape runner, slide 3 or 4 lines of ‘tape’ onto the back of the lighter-weight paper hearts and affix to the front of the heavier-weight hearts.  Pretty, hmmm?  Continue until all are put into pairs.

9.  Then attach the labels to the very front of your beautiful hearts.

10.   Now take the hole punch, and punch a hole or two onto each ‘shoulder’ or bump of the hearts.

11.  Lay out the hearts in the proper order to complete your chosen phrase.  Take one end of  the ribbon, and using about 6″ tie off a loop.  This is how you will hang your finished bunting.  Beginning with your FINAL word or letter, hold the non-looped end of the ribbon, and thread the ribbon through the holes punched on each heart, keeping the ribbon along the backside of the heart.  (Try it…as you manipulate the ribbon, you will see how easy this goes.)  When you get all of your hearts threaded onto the ribbon, lay your bunting out on a flat surface and space out the hearts so there is just 1″, or so, of ribbon between each heart.  Finally, tie off a loop at the end using about 6″ of ribbon.

Done! 

Now it is up to you to find the perfect spot to hang your HAPPY HEARTS DAY bunting…and enjoy!

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God loves you!   ♥  (Don’t ever forget that!)

♥  coleen

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If you would like to send a personal message to Coleen concerning this series, you may email her at: Coleen@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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