November 15, 2024

Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 3 — Make the Choice

January 24, 2013 by

MAKE THE CHOICE

Choice 3: Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.

Over the past two weeks we’ve been reading and sharing a lot about the issue of control.  It seems to be a common thread in our lives – control the world around us in our way and hope it all works out as we planned.  But as we’ve seen we don’t have the power to control our lives, despite what we may think.  It is only through surrendering to His control that we truly find life.

As I went back through my book for today’s blog, I was struck again by John Baker’s personal story on page 81.  I  felt as if I was reading my own story.  I was saved at 14, and did all that I thought I was supposed to do – Sunday School, youth groups, retreats, even Christian college.  But something was still missing.  In my youth, I surrendered all I thought I should surrender, but it wasn’t truly ALL of my life.  From college I made wrong choices with relationships, hurt people closest to me, and kept running from the one person who could truly set me free from my fears and worries.  God.  And, just like John Baker, no matter how bad my choices were, God was still waiting for me with outstretched arms.  I can think back to times He was trying to get my attention and pull me back, but I brushed it off and kept going “my way.”

When I ended an engagement at a young age, I heard God questioning my decision.  But He just didn’t understand.  When my husband said we were moving out of state, against my wishes, I heard God telling me to speak up.  But He just didn’t understand.  When I battled infertility, I cried out to God begging to know what I did wrong to deserve this trial.  I didn’t hear Him respond.  When I was starting an affair, God was calling me out.  But He just didn’t understand.  When my marriage fell apart and I was moving the next guy in, God tried to get my attention again.  But He just didn’t understand.  Do you see a pattern here?  Me, a little speck on this earth, telling the God of the Universe that He doesn’t understand!  Wow, talk about pride!

On May 11, 2001 the world came crashing down around me in ways that no one could have ever seen coming.  People I thought were friends left me.  Family no longer supported me because it was too difficult a reminder of what my ex had become.  There was no greater example in my life of how little control I really have over anything than at this time of my life.  But, I also heard God very clearly that night, “Do I have your attention THIS time?”  He wasn’t judging me, or giving me any “I told you so” type lectures.  He greeted me with open arms and the patient love only the Father can give.

God reminded me that He had been with me all the way, through every poor decision, every time I pushed Him aside because He didn’t understand my plans and way of doing life.  He also reminded me of one precious gift He had given to me, a little ray of sunshine I called my daughter.  She was the inspiration I needed to get out of bed and keep moving until I could think clearly during these rough days.  She had no one but me, so I had to keep going.  I realized that while He didn’t bring the chaos and pain to my life, He allowed it to happen for my good.    We are reminded of this in Romans 8:28: “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (NLT)

Two years later, I heard a song on the radio that brought instant tears to my eyes … another God-message for me.  Martina McBride released a song called “In My Daughter’s Eyes” and sings, “She was sent to rescue me”.  (http://youtu.be/eLS0Y40WwlA)   I truly believe that God sent my daughter to rescue me, and to return me to His fold.  You see, by medical standards she should not be here.  Doctors cannot explain how I was able to get pregnant and managed to carry a child to term with the health issues I experienced.  Seven years of infertility and suddenly, this miracle.  The last time my doctor said this to me was after my hysterectomy in 2010.  We were discussing the pathology report and his surgical findings, and he said, “I just don’t know how your daughter is here.”  I just smiled and said, “That’s because you didn’t create her.”  I knew she was fully and entirely God’s plan for my life.   But through her life, God gave me the wake-up call I needed to throw up my hands in surrender, and return to His open arms.

PRAY –

This week, we focused on committing ALL of our lives to Christ, not just the areas we think He should have, but ALL areas.  As I read Chapter 3, I was reminded of a song from my early church days, “I Surrender All.”  This clip is one of my favorite versions by Jaden Lavik.

http://youtu.be/uaTXNxUXcn4

Now is the time to ask Christ in to your heart if you have not already done so.  Admit you are powerless without Him, acknowledge His death on the cross for your sins, and the power of His resurrection for your eternal salvation.  Are you ready to make this decision for Christ?

If you are part of this study and do know Christ, use this time to rededicate your whole life to Him, asking Him to take full care and control over the areas of your life you’ve previously guarded.  As the song says, “All to Jesus I surrender, all to Him I freely give.”  He won’t bully His way in and take over.  It’s a choice you must make to freely turn over your life.

WRITE –

1 Corinthians 5:17 tells us “this means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”

What does this verse mean to you?

Go back to your notes from Chapter 1, how do you feel today compared to when you first made those notes?

What are you having a difficult time surrendering to God?

What are some things you will ask God to do in your “new life”?

 

SHARE –

 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Making a decision to commit your life to Christ is the most important decision you will make in your life.  Yes, more important than your choice of spouse, career, or home.  This decision remains with you for eternity, and what an awesome promise that is for us!

Take time this week to let others know about the reason for the changes in your life.  Share with them about the freedom, joy and hope you are learning to experience.  Encourage them to surrender to His care and control and allow Him to change their lives, too.

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Power Verses:

Ephesians 1:13 NIV

And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit.

Acts 16:31 NLT

Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with everyone in your household.

2 Timothy 3:16 NLT

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.

 Phil 4:13 CEV

Christ gives me the strength to face anything.

 

Lord, what a precious gift You have offered to each of us!  You said in Your Holy Word, Romans 10:9 that if we confess the Lord our God and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved.  We admit that our choices haven’t followed Your plans for us, but we seek to follow You more closely.  We surrender our lives to You, placing ourselves fully in Your care and control.  We know that You desire the best for us, and we need to learn to trust this truth on a daily basis.  Thank You for Your awesome gift and the blessings You have given to each of us.  Amen.

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If you would like to send a private email to Amy in regards to this blog, please email her at:

Amy@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices – Chapter 3: Stepping Across the Line

January 23, 2013 by

I’m going to start today’s blog post with a little poem that my pastor quoted Sunday.  It goes like this…

 

I went for a walk today down a winding road and fell in a hole,

it’s not my fault.

I went for a walk today down the same road and fell in a hole,

why did I do that?

I went for a walk today down the same road, fell in the same hole,

it’s my fault.

I went for a walk today down the same winding road, I barely made it around the hole.

I took a different road today.

I cannot handle that winding road I’ve been on. I won’t go down it again.

 

Does that sound familiar to you? Are you having a hard time stepping off the same path? Today we will step across the line together into Jesus’ arms and allow Him to care and control ALL of us. Ready? OK! (The cheerleader in me came out.)

S-urrendering

T-o

E-verlasting

P-eace

 

Step 1: We must accept Jesus as our Savior, Lord of our life. He must live in our heart and be the center of our being. Acts 16:31 says, “Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.”  You will be saved, not might be, but will be. Commit as much of yourself as you can at this moment and He can do great things. This is so exciting! Shall we go on?

Step 2: We must accept God’s word as our standard. It must be our life manual. God gave us His word to guide us in every aspect of our lives. What a gift from our Creator! The Bible contains love letters from our Heavenly Father, and instructions by which to live our lives so that we will have the peace and joy He promised us. As we commit more and more of ourselves to Jesus, we will want to live our lives according to His will for us and the only way to know His will is to read and study His words. “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching the faith and correcting error, for resetting the direction of a man’s life and training him in good living”(2 Timothy 3:16).

Step 3: We must accept His will as our purpose. We have to let go of the plans we have for ourselves and totally surrender them. His ways must become our ways. We must die to ourselves and become a new person in Him—the person He wants us to be. I love how John Baker puts it: how we must wake up every day and say “Lord, You woke me up this morning. You obviously have another day planned for me!  What is that plan?” I usually start my day out on my knees and end it there also. I pray for the willingness to be teachable and the strength to do whatever He wants me to do that day.

Step 4: We must accept His power as our strength. 2 Samuel 22:40 says,  “You armed me with strength for the battle–You humbled my adversaries.” When we commit ourselves to Him, His strength is ours, and His power is ours. He has given us His Spirit and with that comes the benefit of having His resources at hand at all times. We are armed for whatever trial comes our way.

So, are you ready to step across the line together? He’s waiting with open arms. If you have not yet asked Him to be Lord of your life, my friend, this is the most important decision  you will ever make. It is your life choice. “Look. Here  I stand at the door and knock. If you hear me calling and open the door, I will come in and we will share a meal as friends” (Revelation 3:20).

He wants to come into your life and help you live this life He gave you. He wants to come in so badly but He will not come in if you don’t ask. Oh dear friend, you don’t have to go this alone. You don’t have to white knuckle it! His power is yours. Your willpower isn’t enough. I know mine isn’t. If it was, I would never have gone down this road of addiction. I wouldn’t have left a trail of destruction and hurt for all I love. But we serve an awesome Savior Who can redeem all we have done and make us a new creation in Him.

 

If you are truly ready to commit your life to Him then answer these questions:

Do you believe Jesus Christ died on the cross for you and proved He was God by coming back? 1 Corinthians 15:2-4

Do you accept God’s free forgiveness for your sins? Romans 3:22

Do you want to switch to His plan for your life? Romans 12:2

Are you ready to express your desire for Jesus to be the director of your life? Romans 10:9

If you answered yes to all these questions then make this a reality and make the choice to step across the line today holding your Savior’s hand. He’s so ready and willing. Just say yes.

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Let’s Pray:

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for coming into my life and redeeming me and dwelling in me. Thank You for all these women who dedicated their lives to You today, some for the first time and for others a rededication. Lord, we believe You sent Your Son Jesus to die for our sins, so we can be forgiven. We are sorry for all our wrongdoings and as we continue this journey with You, Lord, we ask for the willingness to be teachable and the strength to carry on with this beautiful life You have given us. Thank You that we do not have to go this alone. Lord, some of us are so tired and we need You more than we know. Give us rest and take our burdens as You have so promised. We love You and Praise You for Who You are. In Jesus’ name we pray.  Amen.

Your Assignment:

Let us know if you prayed that prayer, so we can continue to encourage you in this amazing journey. Look up scriptures and enter them in to your journal. Remember, all comments are public on this blog. You have the option of signing in anonymously.

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If you are interested in joining us for the Life’s Healing Choices online Bible study, click HERE. Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Kim in regards to this post, please email her at Kim@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

 

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Life’s Healing Choices: Week 3 “The Commitment Choice” – What’s Holding You Back?

January 22, 2013 by

I have a question for you this morning: What is holding you back from surrendering your problems and your life to the care of God?

Today we are going to talk about five things that keep us from making this choice: Pride, Fear, Guilt, Worry, and Doubt.  

This has been, and to this day still is, a battle for me in a few areas in my life. I found it painfully hard to fully acknowledge to myself those painful feelings of guilt that I tried to push down deep inside that would continue to pop up and hurt. Satan loves to try and ruin our day by bringing up past scars. He loves to see us reliving that pain and being pushed bit by bit away from God. His desire is that the pain will always be there and we will not ever be able to heal.

Everyone has feelings of pride, fear, guilt, worry, and doubt from time to time. But God wants us to stop, let go, and give Him these feelings and hurts that cause destruction in our lives and to those we love. He simply wants to take care of our hurts; all we have to do is hand them over to Him today. For many, this is not easy. In fact, this was so very hard for me to do. I would like to share a situation in which I had a very hard time giving up control and putting my love and trust in God.

Due to the lack of male figures as a child growing up, I had trust issues and I yearned for male attention. I had my heart broken many times as a young child and I truly felt very sorry for myself and very angry toward men, but on the other hand, I wanted their love so badly. When I was 14 years old, I was raped by my boyfriend. He pressured me to be with him because he “loved” me. Although I wanted that love so bad, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to give myself to him.  At the last minute, I decided not to go through with it, but he chose to continue…without my consent.  Afterwards, he threatened that if I ever told anyone what he did, or tried to break up with him, he would let everyone know what I had done with him; that I was no longer innocent and pure.

As time went on, anger, hurt, love, and trust turned into major resentment toward every man I came in contact with. I was not about to trust a man with my heart. I would be the one in control, and I would not have to fear rejection. I started using my body as a way to control that overwhelming need for love. I used sex lying to myself calling it “love.” I would now become the rejecter. Although, reality was that sex became disgusting to me because it was filth and not love that I always yearned for. That was when I decided I would be the one who would cause one to feel sad, hurt, and unloved. I wanted men to “want” me, because this is what I thought love was. I learned great ways to manipulate them with my eyes, the way I moved my body, the way I did things to cause them to feel jealousy so they would stay with me. This was (in my mind) justifiable behavior. I had been treated that way, so why shouldn’t I treat men that way. Isn’t that how love works?

After this, I turned very selfish and could not offer real intimacy and pure love to anyone, even with my devoted husband who truly loved me. I just never believed that love was real. I had never received it in any other male relationships before, so I thought how would my marriage be any different. That boyfriend I had, said he loved me, but look how that turned out. I believe this is my reason for having a hard time putting my trust, not only in my husband, but mostly with the Lord. How on earth could my Heavenly Father really love me that way?

Finally I woke up and decided to quit playing the victim. I chose to give this hurt to the Lord along with the control, pride, guilt, fear, worry, and doubt. In the beginning, I did not think He could change me, but God did. He was going to set me free!

“I have swept away your sins like a cloud.  I have scattered your offenses like the morning mist.  Oh return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free.”  — Isaiah 44:22

Today, love is changing between me and my husband. I am “learning to trust” him and even more, trusting God in all things. God is calling out to all of us “This is the Lord, trust me, let go, and I will catch you.” (Baker)

How about you? Are you willing to lay down your pride and surrender? Are you ready to stop being tormented by your hurts that have controlled you for so long? Are you having doubts right now even though you want to believe? Ask God right now to help you with your unbelief. As John Baker says, “Jesus said, that’s good enough.” All you need is faith as small as a mustard seed. If you put that faith in our Big God then you will get results. (Baker)

Jesus replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

So what are you waiting for? Let go and give Christ control! He wants a loving relationship with you more than anything!

 

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Let’s Pray:

Lord, Thank You for Your love for us. You tell us, Lord, to come to You with all things and You will give us rest. Lord, we want to do this and surrender our problems and care over to You; but it’s not easy. The pride, guilt, fear, worry, and doubt get in the way. Lord, we ask You to help us right now to let go and surrender our problems and lives to the care and control of You. Lord,we need help. We need You in our lives. All this we pray in Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 

Your Assignment: 

Write down and explain which of these things God is showing to you about yourself such as: pride, guilt, fear, worry, and doubt that is holding you back from making a decision to surrender and give Christ control of your life. Remember, comments made here are public. You do have the option of signing in anonymously.

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If you are interested in joining us for the amazing online Bible study, and would like to join our private Facebook Discussion Group, click HERE to sign up. Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send Leslie a private email in regards to this blog, please email her at: Leslie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 3 – “Letting Go” – The Commitment Choice

January 21, 2013 by

Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.

Matthew5_5

Good morning ladies, we have admitted we are powerless to control our lives and that we are not God.  We also acknowledged God exists, we matter to Him and that He has the power to help us recover.  His word says, “ Come to Me, ALL who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me.  I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”  Matthew 11:28-30.

So, WHAT’S HOLDING US BACK?  What is keeping us from letting go and letting God? What is stopping us from receiving that peace that surpasses ALL understanding?  His Word says that even the winds and the sea obey Him.  He healed lepers, caused the blind to see and the lame to walk. When His beloved Peter kept his eyes on Him, he walked upon the water.  The grass grows, trees sway in the wind, waves hit the shore and mountains reach into the clouds.  So – again, WHAT’S HOLDING US BACK?

In Life’s Healing Choices, John Baker talks of five things that keep us from making the choice to surrender total care and control to the One True God:

  •       Pride
  •       Guilt
  •       Fear
  •       Worry
  •       Doubt

Let’s take one at a time:

Pride, what a powerful word.  When  I see the word pride, the scripture that comes to mind is Proverbs 16:18 – “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”  It is often times we think we can do things on our own, we don’t need help.  I know because I continued thinking I could walk away from the lifestyle I chose on my own, only to fall within a few days – sometimes hours.  When I surrendered completely to Him, humbled myself and realized without God I could do nothing, He took the desires away.  He restored relationships I had destroyed and showed me His unfailing love.  I would like to share a song He used to bring me into the reality of how awesome He is – that as we turn to Him, he runs to us – still amazes me today!! http://youtu.be/NBzcOGydUaA    – we only need to seek Him.

Guilt and shame can break our spirits.  John Baker asks the question – have you tried to make deals with God?  Have you asked for His help so many times, you may be embarrassed to ask again.  Maybe you think if you don’t ask for help, He won’t know you need it.  I have done all the above – actually tried to hide things out of guilt.  Like He didn’t know what was going on.  He knows ALL!!  He wants to forgive us and take away the shame – His desire is for us to live a life of abundance.  “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 – we only need to seek Him.

How many of us have stood in paralyzing fear?  Fear that our children would not recover? Fear that we could lose our job? Fear that we didn’t know where our next dollars would come from? Fear of someone coming into our home that was not invited? Fear of finding our way home safely? Fear, fear, fear!!!  We live in a world of fear – economy, safety and health.  I know in my life, I feared that people would ‘find me out.’  That they would see who I really was.  I thought I had control, yet lived in fear every day.  When we place our belief in the One True God, He promises to take those fears. “I sought the Lord and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4 – we only need to seek Him.

Worry is a word that was often used within my family.  I grew up with a mom, grandmothers and sisters who all worried from one day to the next what was going to happen.  As I sit here and think of that, I look at a sign my mom had in her living room for years – “One day at a time.”  Oh, I know that is a popular saying, but how many of us actually do live one day at a time.  Again I will take you to His word, in Matthew 6, Jesus was speaking to the multitudes about worry.  He tells of how God takes care of the birds of the air, the lilies of the field – that we should not worry of what we eat, drink or wear.  “For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow…” (Matthew 6: 32-34)  He is willing and DOES care for us and provides all that is necessary – we only need to  seek Him.

Is my faith too small?  I have asked myself that question.  Do you doubt why God would help you?  Why would the Most High, Omnipotent God look at me and say – “If you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move: and nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)  Jairus went to Jesus with a request that any one of us as mothers would ask…”Please heal my child”.  Jairus had doubts, he asked for help with his unbelief.  What was Jesus’ response? “Do not be afraid; only believe” (Mark 5:36) and the girl was restored to life.  We only need to seek Him and believe.  Lord, help us believe!!

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Let’s Pray:

Most gracious Father, You have given us so many promises to grab hold of.  Oh that we would believe whole-heartedly.  That we would be able to go through each day knowing You will care for every little thing in our lives.  Your Word says You do, it is us that falls short.  Father, I ask that each one in this study would seek You and feel Your presence, that we would all lay down the pride, guilt, fear, worry or doubt that we have throughout our lives.  Let us make the decision to open our lives to Your total care and control.  Although we don’t see where You will take us, we know this is the right thing.  Give us the strength and faith, even as tiny as a mustard seed, to take one day at a time with You, knowing we matter so much to You and that Your love for us is unfailing.  We give You all the glory and honor – In Jesus’ Name, Amen!!

Your Assignment:

Let us know what is keeping you from turning total care and control over to Him?  What does living one day at a time mean to you? Remember, all comments on this blog are public.  You have the option of signing in anonymously.

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If you are interested in joining us for the Life’s Healing Choices online Bible study, click HERE.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog, please email her at laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

 

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Life’s Healing Choices: The Commitment Choice

January 20, 2013 by

Happy are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.  Matthew 5:5 (TEV/NIV)

During our second week of the Life’s Healing Choices study, I was confronted in several areas of my life where I must have control.  When I don’t feel like I have the desired level of control, the world spins around me and anxiety reigns in an ugly way.  Conflicts arise in my relationships with my kids & my husband, and the anxiety just grows and grows.  And, gaining my perceived level of control doesn’t make anything better because those around me are already irritated and annoyed with my actions.  So when I read the first page of Chapter 3, I knew this week is going be even more hard-hitting for me.

John Baker writes, “We take desperate measures, trying to keep our life’s hurts, hang-ups, and habits up in the air so they don’t come crashing down around us.  We try so hard to keep up a good front- pretending that everything is okay – when in reality, we’re struggling with real pain and real issues that we desperately try to ignore.”  He continues, “we start feeling guilty about our behavior … I should be able to change.”   Yep, once again, I admit … that’s me.  Juggling everything for everybody, hoping nothing comes crashing down, yet I’m crawling inside with anxiety, worry, and fear that my lack of control will be found out.  I should be able to do it all!  I should be able to change the world around me!  I should … I should … I should.

Ah, but there’s where the problem lies.  I was never designed to do it all, or be all.  Especially not in my own power, strength, and energy.  We saw last week how we must plug in to God’s power to overcome our past experiences, and daily strive to become closer to Him.  This week’s lesson will be on letting go. 

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Choice 3: Consciously choosing to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.

We will learn the things that keep us from making this choice, how to move forward & toward Him more, and how God will be with us every step of the way.

Remember, God never told us that life would be easy.  But He did promise that our load would be lighter and easier to bear if we allowed Him to walk alongside us.  Matthew 11:28-30 reminds us…

Matthew11_28thru30

When I read that verse, I think of my idea in 2011 to participate in the Flying Pig Half Marathon in Cincinnati.  I’m not a runner, but I can walk.  I walk every day … from the parking lot to my office building.  I walk with the family … at fairs, festivals and activities on weekends.  I can handle walking for 13.2 miles … without formal training … because I walk every day!  Pretty crazy, isn’t it?  Well, that was my thinking at the time.  But I showed up, and started walking before dawn that gray, rainy May day.  I saw friends at the 3 mile mark that had come to cheer for our group of walkers.  By the time I saw mile 6, I was near tears.  I did not expect the hills and inclines during the walk, and started doubting my ability to finish.  I condemned myself … “What were you thinking?  Whatever made you think you could do this?  You’ll never finish!”

So, what did I do?  I called a girlfriend in Virginia who had participated in long walking events and cried.  She encouraged me, told me she was proud of me for trying, and said to keep going.  I sent text messages to my mom, and received periodic messages asking where I was in the walk.   I reached out to those who could help me move forward, and 4 hours 7 minutes after I started, I actually finished the half-marathon.  I had blisters on one foot, pain in my hip & ankle from shifting my gait to avoid more blisters, but I finished.  My sister, who had completed the route as a runner, met me at the finish line and told me she was proud of me. While my Encourager’s may not have been with me physically, they helped bear my burden of doubt, provided encouragement, and kept me moving forward … one step at a time.

God may not be physically visible & touchable in our lives.  But He is still there giving us the encouragement, the strength, and the “YOU CAN DO IT” that we need.  Will you turn to Him for whatever challenges you face this week?

 

 Reading Assignment for Week 3: Chapter 3 of Life’s Healing Choices
Monday: Laurie will discuss Principle 2: The Commitment Choice
Tuesday: Leslie will discuss Beginning to Move Forward
Wednesday: Kim will discuss Stepping Across the Line
Thursday: Amy will discuss Make The Choice & Action Steps
Friday: Laurie will bring it all back home with a recap of our week

 

Let’s Pray:

Lord, we have all tried to manage our lives on our own, and we’ve failed to do it in ways that fully honor You.  Show us through the week’s study how we can fully turn over all areas of our lives to You.  Your Word promises that we have already been given ALL blessings, so help us recognize daily where You have shown mercy on us.  You will give us the power, strength and desire to do all that’s before us, but we need to surrender to You first.  Thank you for loving us with a love that knows no end.  Amen.

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Power Verses for Chapter 3:

Romans 10:9

Matthew 17:20

Matthew 11:28-30

Psalm 37:5

Psalm 25:5

2 Corinthians 1:9

Psalm 143:10

Proverbs 3:6

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Life’s Healing Choices – Chapter 2 Review

January 18, 2013 by

Realize I am not God

Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, that He has the power to help me recover.

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“Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

Matthew 5:4

 

In the first chapter, we admitted we were powerless.  Now in the second chapter, we come to believe God exists, that we ARE important to Him and that we are capable to receive His power to help us to recover.  All we have to do is believe and receive.  In the second chapter we find the hope in Christ alone through His promises: “He will bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.” Isaiah 61:3

On Tuesday, Leslie talked with us about 3 amazing truths about God: That God exists; you matter to Him; and He has the power to help you. From the beginning of Creation, we have acknowledged that God exists—just take a look at the stars, the mountains, the oceans—all the magnificent artwork of a God who loves us enough to splash beauty all around us. Ok, so we believe He exists but do we really believe we matter to Him?  Leslie did a beautiful job showing us through His word and David’s psalms that yes, we matter so much that God keeps track of all my sorrows. “He has collected all my tears in His bottle and has recorded each one in His book.”Psalm 56:8

Wednesday, Kim gave us a reality check on keeping plugged into God’s power.  After all, do we really think we can run our TV’s, computers, game stations, ovens, microwaves, or coffee pots without power?  How do we then expect God to answer our prayers and pleas for help without being plugged into Him?  Knowing who He is and believing His promises: “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2

On Thursday, Amy took us through praying for God to fill us with His love, let His power wash over us and heal our hurts, habits or hang ups.  Then we began learning the importance of writing about what God is doing in your life through this study, so you can look back and are encouraged as you journey through the eight choices.  Finally, sharing with each other along the way.  “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17   We are to encourage one another through our walk. We will run into times when we do not want to deal with issues we are facing. However, through accountability and sharing throughout the study, others will encourage you to press on toward the finish.  Receive what God has in store for you.

I want to encourage you with another promise from His word:

 

Verse 5 goes on to say “No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life.  I will never leave you nor forsake you.”   What amazing promises of hope we have studied and learned this week.

 

“I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses.”

— Joshua 1:3 —

Let’s Pray:

Most gracious and loving Father, we are so overwhelmed by the fact that we matter so much to You that You give us a crown of beauty. You record our tears and that You will never leave us nor forsake us.  Father, as we begin to lay down our hurts and habits, and trust You will heal our hearts, please give us the courage to change what we know we can and let You change what we cannot.  Give us wisdom and strength to finish this journey and endure while the miracles happen! We give all the glory and honor to You.  In Jesus’ Name we pray, Amen!!

Your Assignment:

As you go into the weekend, I would challenge you to search who you really believe God is.  What are some of His characteristics. Share your thoughts.  Then how can your relationship with God help you face the areas you need to turn over to Him?  Remember, comments made here are public. You do have the option of signing in anonymously.

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If you are interested in joining us for the online Bible study, click HERE.
Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog, please email her at laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: HOPE, Make the Choice

January 17, 2013 by

Choice 2: Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has the power to help me recover.  It is in this step that we find our HOPE.  The changes you desire are only steps away.  But, as many of you have shared over the past week, the steps are not always easy ones.

I struggle with control.  There I said it!  I don’t like many roller coasters because of the feeling of being so out-of-control.  Same goes for motorcycles!  I want my kids to behave a certain way, my husband to respond to me in a certain way, my workday to follow a set pattern, etc.  One huge reason I’ve never taken the path of drug or alcohol use is the buzz or high that others crave makes me anxious because I’m not in control of things.  Sometimes being in control is a good thing; but when you try to make sure that every part of your world lines up “just so” … it only brings disruption, anxiety, and depression.

We have hope and promise in the Scriptures that we are not on this journey alone. “I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will keep right on helping you grow in His grace until His task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns.” (Philippians 1:6)

Blessings,

Amy

PRAY –

Dear Lord, my life is a precious treasure from You.  I experience things as a result of my choices, both good and bad.  Help me not ignore the pain that comes from my choices, as it is there to turn me back to You.  I admit that I’ve refused Your help.  I pray for Your power to be real and evident.  I know that it is only through You that I will have the strength and power to break the habits that are holding me back from experiencing fully the life You have given to me.  I want to experience true love and solid relationships, learning how to trust and respect others and myself.  I want to experience self-control to walk away from temptation, and my tendency to turn back to comfortable patterns that continue to hold me back.  Help me to continue making healing choices.  Amen.

WRITE –

God promises to always be with you.  He will never leave you.  He will never forsake you.  He will never turn His back on you.  Do you believe this to be true? Deep down in your heart of hearts, do you really believe this to be true?

If you’ve been hurt and disappointed by other people, it’s hard to believe that someone as great, loving and powerful as God would stand by you…no matter what!  No sin is too great to turn Him from His children.  We may feel too ugly, too damaged, too tarnished, too sinful for God, and we make the choice to turn away.  But that’s OUR choice, not God’s.

“When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you.  When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown!  When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you”  Isaiah 43:2.

Using prompts from our book, take time to write in your journal the questions and answers that speak to you most.  I would encourage you to answer all of the questions in the book – don’t skip the hard ones, dear friends.

SHARE –

Sharing can be the most frightening step.  How will the other person react to our story?  Will they judge or condemn my thoughts and/or actions?  Can I trust them to protect my information? Whatever your apprehensions, remember in Proverbs we’re told, “As iron sharpens iron, so people can improve each other.” (Prov 27:17)

Baker gives a very clear and comforting instruction, “This journey is not one to be traveled alone.  You need someone of the same sex, a trusted friend with whom you can share what God is doing in your life.” (p. 54).  Do you have someone in your life you can talk to about this journey? 

After you have taken the time to reflect and write your answers to these questions, we welcome your comments below, or visit our Facebook Group for additional discussion. Please remember that all comments shared on this page are open to the public.  You do have the option of signing anonymously to post your comment.

Power Verses:
“Remember that in the past you were without Christ.  You were not citizens of Israel, and you had no part in the agreements with the promise that God made to His people. You had no hope, and you did not know God.  But now in Christ Jesus, you who were far away from God are brought near through the blood of Christ’s death.”  Ephesians 2:12–13

“But this precious treasure –this light and power that now shine within us –is held in a perishable container, that is, in our weak bodies.  Everyone can see that the glorious power within must be from God and is not our won.  We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken.  We are perplexed because we don’t know why things happen as they do, but we don’t’ give up and quit.”  2 Corinthians 4:7-8

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think.  Then you will learn from your own experience how His ways will really satisfy you.”  Romans 12:2

“And this is the secret: that Christ in your hearts is your only hope of glory.”  Colossians 1:27

 Lord, I have tried to fix & control my life’s hurts by myself.  Often, I make situations worse by refusing to let go and let You handle a situation.  I admit I am powerless, and change will only come when I turn it all over to You.  You loved me enough to send Your Son to die on the cross for my sins.  Thank You for standing by me, believing in me, and wanting more for my life.  Help me to continue making healthy, healing choices in my life, and to loosen my grip on things that need to be in Your hands.  Amen.

If you are interested in joining us for this online Bible study, please click HERE to sign up.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you are interested in sending Amy a private message in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Week 2 – Plugging In To God’s Power

January 16, 2013 by

 

“Believe it or not, things work better when they’re plugged in.”

–John Baker, Life’s Healing Choices

 

A couple of months ago, I had a sink that would not drain—a sink full of yucky smelling water. I flipped the switch up and down on the disposal…and nothing. Being the fixer that I am, I bought three Rubbermaid containers and filled them up with this stinky sink water so that I could wash dishes.

I have a big family.  Four kids and a husband equals many, many dishes and utensils. To add to the inconvenience of this, we live on the 18th floor of a high-rise condominium.  In order to dump these containers took a dolly and manpower. After going to all this trouble, I finally called Maintenance up.  He took one look under my sink and said, “The disposal works better plugged in!” Are you kidding me? It was that simple? Imagine the trouble I could have saved myself if I had just known to plug it in.

It’s like that in our spiritual life, as well. Can you imagine the pain and heartache we could have saved ourselves from, if only we had just stayed plugged in to Him. His power is ours if we just stay connected to Him.  Believing in Him is not enough to get rid of our hurts, habits and hang-ups.

For me it wasn’t enough to keep me from taking that bottle of painkillers or taking that drink or running headfirst into an eating disorder.  I was saved, but I wasn’t satisfied; and salvation without satisfaction is a stronghold just waiting to happen. To be satisfied with God, we must really get to know Him, to read His word, and stay connected to Him. He gives us all we need to live this life that He has given us. John 15:5 says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing.” Again, we have to come to the end of ourselves and allow Him to do the very thing we cannot do alone. Truly that means anything. I love John Baker’s statement about how when we stop trying to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, that we’ll find Christ will stand us up on our feet!

Now that we believe, we must receive! Believe He is who He says He is, and then cry out to Him for help. Tell Him what He already knows. He just wants to hear you say it. A simple yet extremely difficult four letter word—HELP!!! He will come to your rescue, but you must be ready for change.

Ever heard the saying that God loves you just for you, but too much to leave you that way? It’s so true. Change is hard; change is scary; but change is good when we serve a good God. We must pray for the willingness to change and His answer will always be “Yes, child! Here is the willingness you asked for and the need for my power!  Here’s the plug…just use it.” Philippians 2:13 says, “It is God Who is at work within you, giving you the will and the power to achieve His purpose”. The first choice we talked about was admitting we needed Him.  The second choice—the Hope choice—is getting the help we need. What freedom we will find from our pain! We can breathe again, right?

Remember His promise? Oh how I do love this verse! “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze” (Isaiah 43:2). Whatever you are dealing with today, please know that He wants to take it from you. He is able, and more than willing, to help you change whatever needs changing. His power is readily available to you. You just have to say the words, “Help me, Jesus!  I cannot do this on my own!”

Let’s Pray:

Dear God,  we praise You today for the loving God that You are. Your patience with us and Your love for us is beyond our comprehension and so undeserved. Please help those today who need to lay some things down at Your feet to have the willingness to ask and the power to change. And for those that aren’t quite ready, again I ask for Your loving arms to protect them and keep them safe until they are. Thank You for this freedom from addiction and our own human nature. Keep us connected to You so that we may be Your hands and feet to others. We love You, and thank You for giving us Your Spirit. For it’s in Your Son’s Precious Name I pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:

In what area of your life could you use God’s triple power surge and how? Remember, comments made here are public. You do have the option of signing in anonymously.

If you are interested in joining us for the online Bible study, click HERE.
Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Kim in regards to this blog, please email her at kim@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Week 2 – Truth About God

January 15, 2013 by

Today, as we continue to explore Choice 2 (the Hope Choice), we are going to talk in detail about the three magnificent truths about God:

1) God exists

2) I matter to Him

3) He has the power to help me.

My daughter loves to do science experiments. I realized how quiet she was one afternoon. I looked around the house and noticed she was on the back deck. She had a box of baking powder, 3 cups with water, and a bottle of vinegar. She wanted me to come watch her amazing (trick) experiment she learned at church. She showed me what would happen when adding different amounts of baking soda and vinegar to the cups. She smiled and giggled after showing me the cause and effect from her volcanic eruption experiment.

My reason for the story relates to belief in God. Do you believe God exists? The Bible makes it clear that belief in God is essential: “Anyone who comes to him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him” Hebrews 11:6. Most people do acknowledge that God exists. Where there is an effect, there must be a cause, (just like the example of the volcanic experiment shown from my daughter). We can see that where there is creation, there must be a Creator. “For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see His invisible qualities–His eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.” Romans 1:20. (NLT)

Ok, so most people believe God exists; but the bigger question is, do you believe you matter to Him? The reason a lot of us don’t know we matter to God is that we don’t really know what God is like. I remember right before I started my walk, I asked everyone I could to tell me what God is like. I even had a few tell me I could create who I wanted my God to be and the qualities I wanted from Him. Our personal perception of God is not what matters. What does matter is the truth of who He really is. This is where we have a hard time with trust. It’s very difficult trying to trust something or someone that we do not know about or understand. John Baker said in this chapter, “Until we know God’s true character, we can’t completely trust Him.”

Growing up, I had a very hard time with trust due to my relationship with my father and a few male relationships in my teens. Unfortunately, these feelings and hurts carried into my adulthood until this past year. I had a very hard time trusting, especially males. Our relationship with our parents can actually affect what our perception of our Heavenly Father might be. The truth is, as humans we are flawed. These flaws result in treating each other in hurtful and unloving ways. The truth is, God is love and can be nothing but love. We must be careful not to confuse our experiences with man/men with the reality of who God is.

King David had much sorrow in his life, and he said of God, “You have listened to my troubles and have seen the crisis of my soul.” Our situations in life are the same. Whatever you’re going through right now, Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit. “Psalm 34:18”. God’s character shows us just how great His love is for us by sending Christ to die for us. I don’t know about you, but I think this is what gives me the trust in my Heavenly Father. God’s compassion for His children is so incredible and unconditional! How does that make you feel knowing God loves you so much and cares about every hurt that has you heartbroken?

In Psalm 56:8 (NLT) says: “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” We may think nobody knows what we are going through, or can’t understand what happened…but God does. God knows us, cares about us and can change the situation.

Lastly, I would like you to really think about this question. What hurt, hang-up, or habit today, or from the past, just doesn’t seem to go away, such as a dead relationship, or even an addiction? Does this situation seem hopeless to ever change? I didn’t think my situation would ever change; in fact, I truly felt absolutely hopeless! Not one person ever told me that I would ever be healthy again. My doctors told me at one point, I was probably going to die, or continue to have shock treatments and hospitalization for my major depression for the rest of my life. Talk about feeling hopeless! But today, I laugh as I write this. Reason being, I know God has the power to change a situation because He sure changed mine! I no longer feel that deep depression and the desire to die any longer. I have been delivered from that agonizing depression deep in my soul and I feel great joy to be alive. Now this IS a miracle of healing that is only of God!

I DECLARE HE HAS THE POWER TO CHANGE YOU AND YOUR SITUATION!

Let’s Pray:

Father, we come to You today because we believe in You. We can trust that You are always with us and care so much for us. Thank You God for showing us Your great love by sending Christ to die for us. Lord, we believe You have power to change us and our situations that have seemed so hopeless. Lord, we thank You for Your love and the hope we find in You. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:

Write down what situations you have been dealing with that have seemed hopeless to ever change. Then ask yourself, do I now feel and believe in my heart, that God can change it? Write it, pray about it, and please share it. (Remember this is a PUBLIC forum. You do have the ability to sign in anonymously, if you wish.)

If you are interested in joining this Online Bible Study, and becoming a member of our private online discussion group, please click HERE to sign up. Once you are registered, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Leslie in regards to this blog, please email her at: Leslie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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“Life’s Healing Choices” – Getting Help – The Hope Choice

January 14, 2013 by

Psalm62_5

 

In our first week, we prayed for God to give us the courage and willingness to admit we are powerless.  As you admitted you are powerless, how did it impact your life last week?  When I began admitting that I am NOT God and I am powerless, I went through a multitude of emotions: anger, sadness, guilt, relief and indifference.  Turning over the control of my life was taking the life, as I had known for years, and realizing it was a false system of belief.  I had to accept the changes I needed to make. This week we are going to talk about what happens after we realize those changes need to be made.  We may begin to mourn our past mistakes and even mourn the fact that we have turned our control over to God. Some of you may say, FORGET IT!! I will admit I am not God, I mean, everyone knows they aren’t God.  But this – it’s painful.

Let’s stop right here and look at the title to this chapter – Getting Help, The Hope Choice.  Ok, that sounds a little better.  Then go to the E in RECOVERY which is Earnestly believe that God exists ( yes I can do that) and the I matter to Him (so glad about that) and that He has the power to help me recover (I sure hope so).  It is at this point that we search and find access that He is the One that wants to fill our lives with love, joy and peace.  He wants us to feel His presence as we begin to let go of more and more of the hurts we have experienced by our habits or hang-ups. Matthew 5:4 is the scripture that tags this step – ‘Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.’ It is His comfort we are seeking and only Him that will offer the healing and VICTORY over our hurts, habits and hang-ups.

One of the biggest issues I went through when I was letting go of my past was the guilt and shame.  I had enough ‘I wishes: I wish I hadn’t made my sons live in the environment I chose; I wish I hadn’t hurt my family; I wish I hadn’t left my marriage; I wish I hadn’t alienated myself from my friends and family; etc, etc. etc.  I could write a book on 1001 “I wishes” you don’t want to have.  But as I kept saying I wish, God kept telling me to quit wishing on my past and believe in His promise. Isaiah 61:7 says: ‘Instead of their shame, my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs.’  What an amazing promise to believe in God loves us so much, we are going to receive double our portion and have everlasting joy. He will comfort us, restore what we may have lost and give us joy.

When we continue to live in our habits or hurts, we are trying to drown out something in our lives or hide what we don’t want brought to light. We would rather sit back and ignore the issue.  The reality in the book about the fire alarm brought this home for me.  If the fire alarm went off, would I simply sit there and wait for it to stop, while everything around me disintegrated?  That is exactly what we do when we try to cover up our hurts, habits or hang-ups with food, alcohol, anger, work or other addictions. All the things around us disintegrate: relationships, finances, work, anything in our lives that stand in the way of our cover up.  I know for myself, when I was living the lifestyle I chose, I was a workaholic, single mom going to school and perfectionist within my home.  There was not an item out of place, my kids stayed involved (so I would have more to do), I was doing online classes for my degree and working 70-80 hours per week.  That way I had NO time to look at the addictions in my own life. And if someone said, “I am praying for you,”  I told them what for? I am fine – then would go into a long list of why my life was so ‘fine.’  I didn’t need anyone’s help and really did not need God’s help. I was choosing things of the world, not the things of my God.

I remember someone telling me, ‘the love of the world will squeeze out the love of the Father.’ That’s exactly what I was doing.  God had to get my attention.  And that He did.  I had gone through every one of the denial busters:  I was wound tight from over work, damaging relationships with family and friends and was beginning to have medical issues. I had to begin admitting I was not in control and turn it all over to Him.  I believed at the time, but had not let Him manage my life.  As I did, God started taking me from brokenness to completeness, from hurt to healing and then to Victory over all things in my past.  As we begin to admit, He offers hope for that change in our lives.  Don’t quit before His healing happens. The hope and help God offers is steps away – He will stay with us each step of the way until Victory.

“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6.

The hope we search for is found in Christ alone.

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Let’s Pray:

Father, we thank You so much that You are our hope. That by Your grace alone, we can find comfort and healing through our struggles.  Father, as we continue this week together, help us to continue letting You manage our lives.  Help us to find the strength to bring our hurts, habits and hang-ups and lay them at Your feet.  To be honest Lord, there are times when we may not feel like giving up our comfort or we may not understand what it is we are to give to You.  Bring clarity and peace to our lives Father, that peace that surpasses all understanding as we put our trust in You. We praise You for what You have done and are about to do in our lives.  We give all the glory and honor to You.  In Jesus Name, Amen

Assignment:

After reading this blog comment on below and/or go to our Facebook Group and comment on:  how you handle pain or disappointment.  Also, are there areas of your life you are now beginning to face reality and break your denial?  If so, what are those areas?

If you are interested in joining us for this Online Bible Study, and becoming a member of our Facebook Discussion Group, please click HERE to sign up.

Once you are registered, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog, please email her at: Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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