A Daughter’s Worth: Week 8 / Day 2 – You CAN Insist That Boys Treat You Well

November 20, 2012 by Teresa Bolme

When you CAN do something it means you are Able, Permitted, Possible, or Designed to do something. That is pretty awesome to think that I was designed to be able to insist that people treat me well. Does that mean that every person in my life WILL treat me well? Uh, NO! Do I have to accept that behavior from them? Uh, No. So, why would I let a boy treat me any less than God created me to be? Uh, WOW. Do you know what the past tense of CAN is??? COULD. Could hurts me to say. Could means that I made a bad choice and, if I could go back, I would change what happened. Could usually comes with regret. 🙁

In our home, if we have a hard time deciding if something is right or wrong, we take it back to the Bible and see what it says about the subject. When we have friends or family members who treat us poorly, we look to see if our behaviors have lined up with the scriptures. The verses we go to about relationships is 1 Corinthians 13. It’s called the LOVE chapter. We all want to be loved and want to love other people, so why not seek out what LOVE is from the source, GOD.

So the Bible says this is what love IS. Anything that doesn’t look like this is NOT love and you can WALK the other way or INSIST to be treated with love. Sometimes that is hard to do. We may have to walk away from our friends or that cute guy that we want to like. We may have to stand up for ourselves and tell our ‘friends’ (and sometimes our family) that we don’t want to be treated in a way that makes us feel uncomfortable. When we deal with our friends and family, we also need to follow these verses and treat them with LOVE.

If a young man wants your attention and wants to love you, he will make you feel smart, funny and pretty. (And not because of what he can get from you) He will never ask you to do anything that will make you ashamed or feel dirty. (Love does not insist on its own way, it does not rejoice in wrongdoing) He will want you to spend time with your friends and family and would even want to hang out with you. (Love is patient and kind, it does not envy, it is not arrogant or rude) Boyfriends should draw you closer to God, not pull you away from Him. (Love rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things) Boyfriends should always make you feel good inside; not sick, worthless, jealous or angry. (Love endures all things)

When you are a teenager it is hard to find a boy that can measure up to all these standards. Sometimes you want to lower your standards just to have someone you can call “yours”. Each time you give your heart away, you lose a little piece of yourself. Most teens are not able to love someone else more than they love themselves. That takes maturity and maturity comes with living life and seeking God. It is almost impossible to find a teen boy who loves you the way God created you to be loved. It’s OK to wait for that person God has been preparing just for you.

In my family, with so many daughters, we have many different opinions on the topic of dating and boys. Some of my daughters want to wait to have a boyfriend, to hold hands, to kiss someone; to give him her heart until she is ready to be married. Some of my daughters enjoy having a young man to call her own and share her “life” with. A couple have gotten tired of waiting, tried to make it happen on their own and have had broken hearts. I love them all and continue to point them back to 1 Corinthians 13 to help them decide if they are being treated with love and if they are treating others with love. There is no cookie cutter answer about having a boyfriend because girls are not cookies. =D

In our study, Ava Sturgeon says, “As a daughter of worth, you should expect to be treated well. Dating the wrong guy is a tragic waste of you. God’s beautiful potential.” How true! Protect your heart. You are going to need all those pieces of yourself. If you find that your heart is already broken into little pieces, take them to God and let Him put them back together. He will. It’s not too late. He wrote the book on LOVE, so trust Him to show you what perfect LOVE looks like.

If what you are seeing and receiving from people does not match up with what the Bible says you deserve – turn around and head back toward God. You are on the wrong path. That leads me back to my life verse, Proverbs 3:6, “In all your ways acknowledge Him and HE will direct your paths”.

You CAN insist that boys/men/parents/siblings/friends treat you well. You CAN treat them well in return. It’s not too late to get on the right PATH facing God’s direction. Be blessed my friends.

Let’s Pray:

Father we thank you for creating us with the desire to be loved and to want to love others. Lord we want someone to love us the way YOU love us. Father, give us patience to wait on the person you are preparing for us. Give us people in our lives who support us, care about us and protect our hearts. We know that you are the source of all love and good things and that is what we want for ourselves and for our friends. Help us to always look to you for guidance and keep our feet on the right path. We love you, Lord. Amen

Mama T <3

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 7 / Day 2 – Children Must Obey

November 13, 2012 by Teresa Bolme

I have to admit something. I was born with a rebellious spirit. Really, I was…and…it didn’t go away just because I got older. I am the firstborn. I have two younger brothers…and I wanted a sister or nothing at all. They could have those boys back!!! I never let my parents, or my brothers forget that I wanted a sister. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter how much I whined or complained or made everyone miserable, I still had brothers. (sigh) Mom said, “Go help your brother” and you KNOW what was going on in my mind. (No need to put those words here) You know what they were. If they broke something, I got in trouble. If they cried, I got yelled at. Can you believe I still remember that stuff? It really doesn’t matter anymore. We are all grown-ups with families of our own. But still, Mom said help and I helped.

I had times that I didn’t want to do the chore list that my mom and dad left for me to do, especially in the summer. Why didn’t I get to be lazy in the summer? I just got out of school and now I have a massive chore list. I got old enough to get my permit and then driver’s license. I couldn’t wait to get a car and a job and, and FREEDOM. Somehow things never worked out the way I planned. I was 18 before I got that job and I shared my mom’s car. I was 21 before I had a car of my own with all the bills that go with it. Hmmm. Why wasn’t my life working out like I thought it should? Why were my parents putting all these restrictions on my FREEDOM?

Hebrews 12:11 says, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

I looked up the definition of DISCIPLINE and it says this: discipline n. Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.

So, my parents wanted me to grow up with a specific character that reflected good moral and mental behaviors???? Who’d a thunk it??? When I began thinking about raising my own daughters, I wanted to go even one step further and make sure they knew from Day 1 what and why I wanted them to do the things I asked them to do. I wanted to be the kind of mom they could look up to. A mom they could talk to and ask questions of. I wanted to always point them back to God and the Scriptures.

My favorite guide for raising my daughters is found in Deuteronomy 6:7-9. It says, “Repeat them (laws, traditions, scriptures) again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. 8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” There is no question that my girls (or their friends) can’t ask me. I will answer every question as honestly and biblically as I possibly can.

So I tried to do everything RIGHT with my girls. I tried to answer all their questions; even the hard ones. I took them to church, taught them to serve and then one day my oldest daughter went off to college. We sent her off to discover life for herself, with godly discipline and character behind her. And then…we were disappointed. There is a reason Solomon tells us in Proverbs 22:6 to “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” Even though I had taught my daughter the best way I knew how, she had to learn life lessons on her own. I had to love her enough to let her learn the hard way. I asked her if she would like to share some things she learned during that time in her life. Her name is Michele and she will be 23 in December. Here is what she had to share with you guys:

I think I was a little different than most teenagers. Starting at 13, I understood my parents reasoning behind the rules, and that probably saved my life. Most teens go through a phase where they feel like their parents don’t know anything about the teenager’s life and what they’re going through, so they must not know what they’re talking about. As a result, they’ll stray a bit and rebel against their parents rules, maybe go to church less often or not at all. My time of rebellion was once I graduated high school and moved away to college. Because I was insistent on doing my own thing and thinking I knew best, God was not at the top of my priority list. I hardly ever thought about Him or asked his opinion. When my parents asked if I was going to church on the weekends, my excuse was “I don’t have time.” Of course I didn’t have time, because I didn’t make time. You make time for things that are important to you.

Ok, so about obeying your parents…you obey because God has commanded you to. In fact, the first commandment in the bible with a promise attached to it is Exodus 20:12. “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” Sounds to me like that’s kind of important.

If your parents are Christians, you obey them knowing they are striving to teach you what is right and want the best for you. No parent is perfect, just like no teenager is perfect. The way to deal with that is to LOVE. This is my biggest thing lately. Love your parents enough to see their intentions and forgive them when they make the wrong choice in how to deal with something.

If your parents are not Christians, there is always a chance that the way they are leading is not in line with God’s law. What do you do then? Just blow them off and have a bad attitude, treating them like they’re stupid? NO! According to Romans 13:1, everyone must submit to authority. In Matthew 22:37-40, Jesus says your first priority/responsibility is to love God with everything in you. So, God’s commands are MOST important. And the second is to love others as yourself (or as God loves you). The key to obeying the rules, laws, and commandments is to Love God and Love People.

If your parents are asking you to do something you believe is wrong, you still must respect and honor them, but you CAN tell them how you feel. If you are following God and respectfully informing your parents that you do not agree and don’t feel comfortable doing what they have asked. If you are in line with the Bible, then you have fulfilled your responsibilities. But you must ALWAYS respect authority.

<3 Michele Bolme<3

ALL I CAN SAY IS WOW!!! So when Solomon said that if I taught my daughter right, gave her discipline and showed her how to live like Jesus, then one day when she walked away to do her own thing, she WOULD return to God because she LOVES HIM. I am one thankful Mom. Now only 7 more daughters to go. (sigh, sigh and sigh some more)

Much love to you all…………………… Mama T

Pray with Me:

Heavenly Father, we know you love us and that you discipline us because you love us. We thank you for loving us enough to give us parents who want us to grow up with a good character and a love for YOU and for other people. Please forgive us when we get distracted and don’t put you first. Keep loving us until we come back to you. Father, I pray for each heart reading this blog today. Make their hearts soft and ready to serve you. We love you Abba, Father. Amen

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If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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A Daughter’s Worth Week 6 / Day 2: A Good Friend Shares Her Faith

November 6, 2012 by Teresa Bolme

I would not say that I have very many friends. I know a lot of people. I help a lot of people. But if I really had trouble or needed someone to talk to, I would have a very short list of people I would call or show up on their door step. It has always been easier for me to deal with my own struggles by myself and sometimes share them with God. That’s not how God wants me to be, that’s how I have done it…on my own. Is anyone else guilty of this, like me????? I’m working on this area of my life. I have opened up more to friendship than I ever have before. This is still hard for me, but I know God put me here to be a friend so that people can see Him in ME. That’s weird for me to think.

I don’t have a problem talking to people in elevators, or holding a door for an elderly person, or talking to a child. My kids find me embarrassing because I “talk to strangers”. I’ve been guilty of carrying someone’s groceries for them, paying someone’s bill (when they didn’t expect it) and even taking time to listen to their “life story” when I had other things I needed to do. I’ve taken people with me when I have gone out to run errands, just because they needed to get out of the house. I’ve taken groceries and left them on doorsteps, mystery cakes have shown up at friend’s houses, bought tanks of gas when a young mom couldn’t get to work that week and taken a meal to someone just because. I like to look for ways to share blessings with people. I ask God to show me who needs a blessing and He always does. It’s a lot of fun to look for random acts of kindness to do for someone.

I can’t say that I knew these people very well. Some I did, some I had never met before. So, if I am to live my life like Jesus, were these people my friends? I think so. Each time I loved on someone I got the opportunity to share Jesus with them. Most of the time the response would be, “but you don’t have to”, or “but you don’t even know me”, or “How did you KNOW?” My response was always a smile and the response that they were loved. They would ask for the source of that love and I would get a chance to share what God had done for me. I hope they told other people how God blessed them that day. Hopefully they would do something for someone else and pay it forward.

Jesus “paid it forward” for us. There is nothing that we can say or do that will be greater or harder for us to do than He already did. Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.” (John 15:13-14) Jesus laid down His life for us. He was there for us even before we knew we needed him. When we are sad and need a friend, He is there. When we had a bad day and just want to scream and cry, He is there. When we need a hug and some comfort, He is there. Because we know JESUS, He is there for us.

What about those people who don’t know him yet? How will they find out? Who will teach them what it looks like to be a friend of Jesus? Maybe it’s time to lay down your life and look for someone to help. It’s not about dying, it’s about living. It is very good to have Christian friends and Christian influences. It is very good to hang out with people who can make your spiritual life stronger. It is also VERY good to look for opportunities to share your faith with someone who doesn’t know Jesus yet. Non-Christians are already watching the way you live. Why not teach them to follow Jesus too? Then they won’t be a “non-Christian” anymore. J

SHARE YOUR FAITH. IT’S CONTAGIOUS AND THE WORLD NEEDS SOME OF IT!!!

I found a couple of songs for you guys today. Give them a listen and tell me what you think.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyeyhOdgyYM&feature=fvwrel Love Her Like Jesus by Casting Crowns

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Js_hgkHQ6Bc Crazy Love by Hawk Nelson

If we have truly been changed, we have to give it away. How can you do that this week?

Let’s Pray:

Dear Heavenly Father, We thank you for being our friend. For always being there for us even when we forget to turn to you. Thank you for the friends you give us to sharpen our faith. Thank you for the opportunities we have to share our faith with others. We know we need to be in fellowship with Christian friends, but show us who you need us to be friendly to, to share your love with. We are willing to be your hands and feet. We don’t want to be snobby, or shy. We don’t want to take on bad habits to fit in. We want the world to see YOU in our lives and want the love that we have. Thank you for paying the price for our freedom from sin even before we knew we needed you. We love you Lord. Amen

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If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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A Daughter’s Worth Week 5 – Day 2: God Helps You Manage Anxiety

October 30, 2012 by Teresa Bolme

I have to admit something to you. When I saw the list of topics I was to write about during this study, I laughed. Out loud. That’s right! LOL I thought Ms. Megan had played some kind of cruel joke on me. That’s right, this topic caused me ANXIETY. How did she know that anxiety and depression are something I deal with on a daily basis? How was I going to talk to you guys about managing my stress and control issues when I still struggle with it myself? I am going to show you what I have learned and Who I go to when I feel anxious and stressed out. I have found ways to control the stress and anxiety instead of letting it control me.

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ANXIETY

Distress or uneasiness of mind caused by FEAR of danger or misfortune.A State of apprehension and psychic tension occurring in some forms of mental disorder.

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CONTROL To exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command.To hold in check; curb: to control a horse; to control one’s emotions.

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STRESS

Importance attached to a thing.

The physical pressure, pull or other force exerted on one thing by another; strain.

Synonyms:

Significance, meaning, emphasis, consequence

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Psalms 34:17 says:

The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.

You might say, “But I’m not righteous, I’m a teenager”. The Bible says, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 Hopefully, by now you are beginning to seek God when troubles come to you in your life. He is our Source and our Hope. We will all have troubles in this life, but by placing our hope in the LORD, we will have renewed strength (Isaiah 40:31).

What Is Anxiety?

For teens or anyone else, anxiety is a normal reaction to stress. Things like tests, meeting new people, speaking in public, going on a date, and competing in sports can make us feel apprehensive. Some of us feel stressed at the thought of posting something about our lives on our secret Facebook Prayer Groups. Some teens react much more strongly to stressful situations than others. Even thinking about the situations may cause them great distress. I think that no matter how you were raised, how you handle stress now or how you plan to handle stress in the future, the Bible has the answers as to how and why we feel that stress and anxiety.

1 Peter 4:12-13

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

Anxiety can be a good thing when it helps you deal with a tense situation. For example, when you’re studying for a test, a little anxiety can make you want to study hard so you do well. But at other times, anxiety can be harmful, especially when it is excessive and irrational, and prevents you from being able to focus.

1 Peter 5:6-7

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Sometimes the anxiety can come between you and your friends, especially when you avoid going out with them or calling them because you’re too panicked or tense. That’s when you need to do something to feel less anxious, so you can fully enjoy your teenage life. (This is where your secret Facebook Prayer Group would come in handy). You are not alone. Every human goes through stressful times. It is in these times that we get to practice what we are learning from our study. We get to share our experiences with other who are going through the same troubles we have gone through or are going through.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

In our study, the author states that “even though God removes worry from your mind, He might not remove the source of anxiety. The coach may never treat you fairly; your boyfriend may dump you, and your parents may get on your nerves. But somehow, in the midst of the stress, you can feel an unbelievable calm.” (p. 64)

I try to make a conscious effort to replace stressful thoughts with prayer, scripture, or praise songs. One of my favorite verses is one with ATTITUDE…whatever…

Let’s PRAY: Heavenly Father, we come to you and bring the stress of our day. We bring you all our anxiety, all our issues that cause us to take our eyes off of YOU. Father, we claim your peace and your compassion and your comfort. We want what only you can provide for us. We know that you are the Source that heals our broken hearts and you bind up our wounds. Father we pray that as we find comfort and peace in you, we would be able to share what we have learned with our friends. We want them to come to know you the way we know you…LORD. We love you. We thank you for caring for us and for removing the worries from our hearts and minds. Amen

Much love to all my girls,

Mama T <3

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If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: a daughter's worth, ava sturgeon, Bible, bible study, Christianity, faith, family, fellowship, friends, GCH:decaf, Girlfriends Coffee Hour, God, Jesus, Love, Online Bible Studies, Prayer, rainbow, teen girls, teresa bolme

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 4 / Day 2 – Know How to Choose Your Words

October 23, 2012 by Teresa Bolme

The last two weeks have been very eventful in our home. My husband and I went on a vacation and get this…we left all the kids at home. Yeah. We did. I left my house to a bunch of young women, all busy, all strong and expected them to take care of themselves and not trash the place. You know what happens when six young women from 23 to 14 years old are left to their own devices and their own communication skills????? Wonderful stuff. Did they disagree? Yep. Did they get on each other’s nerves? Absolutely. Did they say stuff they shouldn’t have? Uh huh. Did they apologize and make it right? Yes they did. All that BEFORE I came home on Saturday night.

Has forgiveness worked its way all the way through their hearts yet? Not yet, but it’s working. They all love each other and know that we are a family no matter what so they are letting their hearts heal. I am so proud of my girls. They stepped up and took care of each other the way the Bible says they should. The Bible doesn’t say that once you are a Christ follower you will never sin again, or struggle with the words that come out of your mouth. It says that we can learn to keep our tongues from saying things that will hurt other people.

How can a young person keep their way pure?

By living according to your Word.

Psalm 119:9

Have you noticed that sometimes you go along and it seems easy to keep control of your words and sometimes, usually when you are tired or hungry or sleepy, something hits you the wrong way and you snap. Something comes out of your mouth you wish you could take back immediately…but it’s too late. Once those words come out of your mouth, you can’t take them back.

That’s what happened last week in my house. One of my daughters had played 6 soccer games in two weeks and was tired, sore and hurt. On top of that, her team lost the championship game and she was disappointed. One of my daughters is a fixer, a look on the bright side kind of girl. Nothing wrong with either girl, but the two were on a collision course. I had no longer gotten the words out of my mouth to my oldest daughter to keep the two of them apart (for their own good) than one hurt the other and the other hurt right back. Hurting people, hurt people. That has been a hard lesson for my girls this week, but I am so proud of them for trying to put their relationship back together. It has affected the whole family. Their words and actions didn’t only hurt them, it touched us all.

What if someone, say an unbeliever, heard what my daughters said to one another? What would that have done to their witness? What would that person think about the God that my girls serve? In the book of James 1:26 the Bible says this,

“If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.”

Ouch!!! That hurts just to read. Our actions reflect on Jesus. Our actions reflect on our Father. My daughters had to tell their parents about the argument and harsh words. Their words reflected on the way we have tried to raise them. Their reaction to be quick to forgive and ask forgiveness was very much what we have tried to teach them. The only way I know if they have learned their lesson is during times like these when they have to live out LOVE for themselves. Yes, my girls hurt each other. Yes, they knew what to do to begin fixing the hurt. YES, they LOVE each other enough to try. I’m a proud mom.

So how are we to talk the talk and walk the walk? Micah 6:8 says this, “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To ACT Justly and to LOVE Mercy and to WALK Humbly with your God.”

You may have heard songs using this verse. Here are a couple of my favorites:

http://youtu.be/pkM-gDcmJeM Courageous by Casting Crowns

http://youtu.be/-Ja3O0VVCAM The Walk by Steven Curtis Chapman

So after all this, what really matters? If you are gonna talk the talk you better be ready to walk the walk. If you say you believe in Jesus and that you love one another, you had better be ready to put that love into action. It’s not enough just to SAY it, we have to ACT it out. Let the world catch you acting like Jesus. That is the best role model you could ever show them. Sure we are going to mess up. We aren’t perfect. But in that imperfection, we show the world how to turn and ask for forgiveness, love each other the way Christ loved us and then they will want what we have…a WALK that truly shows the LOVE in our hearts.

Let’s Pray: Dear Father, We come to you today to thank you for your example. For being very clear about what it is you want for us and from us. You have shown us what is good and what you require of us. Lord, teach us to keep a tight rein on our tongues so we won’t hurt one another. Help us to be sensitive when we mess up and do hurt someone. Help us to make it right quickly, so the damage is not severe. Lord, we thank you for your Word that teaches us how to live. We want to live so that the world will want a WALK like we have. Talk is cheap, but the proof of your love is in our walk. We love you, Lord. AMEN (z)

Choose today to let your tongue bring healing to those around you. Choose LIFE with your words. I love you.

Mama T

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 3 / Day 2 – Refute Satan’s Lies

October 16, 2012 by Teresa Bolme

TRUTH

Today, we are going to start with truth. If we don’t know what TRUTH is, then we won’t know what a LIE is when we see it or hear it. “Satan would love for us to believe the lie of “not good enough.” (A Daughter’s Worth, p. 32) If Satan can distract us from the TRUTH of who God made us to be, then we feel like we are not good enough. Feelings are deceptive, so we need to know what truth is before our feelings get involved. Sometimes we need to tell our emotions what we KNOW is true so we don’t get distracted.

Look at 2 Corinthians 11:3: I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. Eve was created perfectly, by our perfect God. She walked in the Garden and talked with God personally. It was only when Satan began to mess with her head that she began to doubt who she was created to be. We need to know who we are in Christ so that when doubt creeps in, we don’t believe the LIES that will destroy our hearts. If Eve could be so easily deceived, we should not think that we can resist the devil when he wants to sneak those bad thoughts into our heads. We have to know the truth about what and who He says we are. We find out what God sees in us by getting to know him by reading his word and talking to him.

One of the neatest things about having eight daughters is that I have proof of how God can make us so individual, unique and BEAUTIFUL. No two daughters are alike, but they are all the same. God has gifted them in very different ways. I don’t expect them to react the same way, be good at the same subjects in school, wear the same style of clothes, or reach the same kind of people as their sisters. Wherever we go, we bring a party. Some are planners, some are preparers, some are entertainment, but ALL of them are fun. Sometimes one will be feeling down and we try to show her how blessed she is and how accepted she is. We acknowledge her feelings, but emphasize the TRUTH of the matter.

When one of my girls says, “I’m not smart enough”, it usually means – I wish I was smarter or had made better choices. Then we talk about how we can choose better next time. When they say “I’m not pretty”, it usually means they are comparing themselves to someone else, or someone has made fun of some part of them that day. Those days we talk about what makes them unique and how no other daughter on the face of the planet can be them. When one of my girls thinks they have no talent or special gifts they are usually thinking about someone they admire who is gifted in a certain area and has not looked at the ways God has gifted them to serve. We are all unique!!!!! God made each of us special! There could never be a more beautiful you than you are to your Heavenly Father. When you feel those doubts creep in, and they will creep in, push them out with the TRUTH of God’s Word.

“Protect the Father’s truth with everything you have. How? When Satan tries to distract you, confront the lie with scripture, combat deceit with prayer, and ignore the negative messages that Satan suggests. Thank God for His TRUTH. Ask Him to HELP you, His precious daughter, to EMBRACE (believe) it.” (p. 33)

Let’s PRAY:

We thank you Father that you have called us daughters. We thank you for sending your Son to us to enable us to refute the lies of the enemy of our souls. Help us to recognize your voice. We love you Father. Help us to ACCEPT your love. AMEN

“And because you are sons (DAUGHTERS), God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “ABBA! Father!” Galatians 4:6

The TRUTH is…God Loves YOU! I love you! Your leaders love you! Have a blessed day, girlfriends.

Mama T

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: a daughter's worth, ava sturgeon, bible study, galatians 4:6, GCH: decaf, Girlfriends Coffee Hour, God, help, lies, psalms 63:1, teen girls, teens, teresa bolme, truth

A Daughter’s Worth Week 2 / Day 2: Your Father Delights in Your Existence

October 9, 2012 by Teresa Bolme

Zephaniah 3:17

The Lord your God is with you; He is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you; He will quiet you with His love;

He will rejoice over you with singing.

Delight is a word that isn’t used very often. Delight is one of those words with deep meaning. I looked it up so we could know more fully how God feels about us and this is what I found:

DELIGHT

1) A Feeling of extreme pleasure or satisfaction; JOY

2) To please greatly

3) Something or someone that provides a source of happiness.

Growing up I can’t say that ‘delight’ was in my vocabulary. Aside from a few pictures, the emotion of ‘delight’ was foreign to me. So the thought that my Heavenly Father took delight in my existence was a little hard to grasp. I have always been a “thinker”. When I have questions about random, everyday stuff I ‘google’ it. My head is full of trivial information that I don’t even know where it came from. When I have BIG questions I go to “The Source”. I ask God, himself, to give me the answers to my hearts questions. As a result, my heart is full of TRUTH and I DO know where I got it; My Father! Check out Luke 11:9: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Not only does He want us to ask, He wants us to KEEP asking. Jesus said in Matthew 7:7-8, “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find (what you are looking for). Keep on Knocking and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds and everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”

Did you catch that promise directly from your Father? So when we have questions and need answers we are to ask him and He promises to give us whatever we have asked for. So if that is true – why don’t we know everything and have everything we need? In James 4:2-3, we find the answer to that question (you see how I did that? I took you back to the Source).

James said, “…You have NOT because you ASKED NOT.” As a mom, there is nothing that gives me more joy, more delight, than to give my daughters something I know they really, really, REALLY want. Most of the time, what my daughters want is not monetary. They desire my time, my touch, my ears to listen to their hearts. Sometimes I can show them I have really listened to them by remembering to do something nice for them. I want to be the one who provides this very basic need for my daughters. If it makes me that happy to please my daughters, how much more happy, joyous, delighted – must God the Father be to know that He provides for us exactly what we want and need? Because we are God’s daughters, he wants to provide for us.

In Psalms 37:4 it says, “Take delight in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Because God created us, HE KNOWS US. We may go through life feeling unloved, without friends, lonely, and well, UN-known. But our heavenly father knows what we need and gives us a very specific example in the way He acknowledged Jesus on the day he was baptized.

Let’s look at that day in Jesus’ life. He was about 30 years old, he knew what his purpose was on this earth and he knew it was time to begin the work. I imagine the human side of Jesus was nervous to get started, anxious about what was in his future, and a bit overwhelmed at the sheer size of his job. He had come TO SAVE THE WORLD! Where do you start? Who do you start with?

Jesus started at the beginning. He decided to do the job he came to this earth for. The first public act of his obedience was to be baptized, so he went to see his cousin, John. (You should really go read that story. It’s awesomely cool)

Matthew 3:16-17 takes us to the next part of Jesus’ story.

16) After his baptism, as Jesus came up out of the water, the heavens were opened and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and settling on him. 17) And a voice from heaven said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy.”

God gave Jesus the 3 things everyone needs to hear:

1) God claimed Jesus as His own son. “This is my SON.”

2) God proclaimed His love for Jesus. “Whom I love.”

3) God exclaimed His Joy, Delight, and Extreme Pleasure with his Son. “I am very pleased with him.”

I imagine that Jesus needed to know who he belonged to; who loved him and who was pleased with him to be able to begin the job God sent him to do. If Jesus needed it, so do we. It’s OK to admit that we need to belong, be loved and be delighted in.

That’s how God made us!!!!!

“Realizing God’s delight in your existence is a wonderful ego booster. Your Creator, the Father of everything, is always happy to hang out with you.” (page 18, A Daughter’s Worth) God delights in our delighting in Him. God values our valuing Him. Who can tell me where the verse is in the BIBLE where it says, “We love him because He first loved us”? (Trivia Contest – Leave the answer in the comment section) 🙂

God already has claimed us as his daughters. He has already proven he loves us. He gives us the desires of our hearts because it brings Him joy and pleasure. Now it’s up to us ….

Let Us Pray:

Heavenly Father, I thank you for being my dad, my papa, my ABBA. Thank you for loving me, for telling the world that you love me and for providing everything that I need. I am honored to be your daughter. I accept the place you have reserved for me in your family. My earthly family doesn’t always look or feel very loving and secure, but I know your love for me never fails.

Father, continue to change my heart as I draw closer to you. I love you daddy. AMEN

<3 Teresa Bolme

VIDEO Mighty To Save sung by Laura Story (scripture taken from Zephaniah 3:17

htthttp://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=pYqogpLpC5Qp://youtu.be/pYqogpLpC5Q

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If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email teens@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: a daughter's worth, ava sturgeon, Bible, Christianity, daughter, delight, father, GCH: decaf, God, Jesus, Prayer, teen girls, teens

A Daughter’s Worth Week 1: Friends and Boyfriends

October 2, 2012 by Teresa Bolme

AHH, Love.

Everybody wants it. Everybody needs it. How do you get it? Where do you get it? Is it really OK to ADMIT that you need it?

The Bible says in Proverbs 18:24,

“A man(or woman) that has friends must show him(or her)self to be friendly and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.”

Proverbs is a book of Wisdom written by Solomon almost 3,000 years ago. I don’t think very much has changed in that time. If we want friends we have to act friendly. God gave Solomon wisdom because Solomon asked for it, then he shared his wisdom with us all these years later.

How do we show ourselves friendly? We put a smile on our face, introduce ourselves, do something nice for someone, consider someone else’s feelings above our own…the possibilities are endless. We have to be open to friendship.

As long as we are afraid to be friendly, we will not be making any friends. No one wants to be lonely. Movies are more fun with a friend, restaurants are more fun with a friend, games are… you get it – FRIENDS are a good thing.

Be the one who reaches out first. You don’t know what that other person is going through. God could be using you to fill a need in their life. Be willing to be a friend.

What about the second half of that verse, “There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother”? Can we have friends that are closer to our hearts than our own family? I think so. We don’t get to pick our family members (and sometimes we are too much alike to get along well). Friends come along and fill in those places in your heart that time and distance cannot separate. Through fellowship with this group of women and teens at Girlfriends Coffee Hour I hope you see how easy it is to love friends in different states and countries. I hope you find a “soul sister” that you can open your heart to.

I pray that all the friendships we are building here bring out the best in us. We should challenge each other to be better people. Having good friends boosts our self-esteem. We have a more well-rounded life.

Someday…..

What happens when friendships turn into something more? As teens, you begin thinking about that special someone. As Christ followers we should be thinking about that someone who God has prepared just for us. Sometimes it’s hard to be patient for Mr. Right when we want a boyfriend RIGHT NOW.

I’ve heard some Christian teens say they won’t have a boyfriend or date until they find the person they are to marry. Yet others enjoy having friends to hang out with and get to know in each life stage. Which theory is right? Can they both be right? There are so many ways to think about dating and friendship. Both schools of thought are ok. The Bible even addresses the issue. Because people are different, they have different needs – some need many friends while others need 1 or 2 really close friends.

Some girls need to have a boyfriend to feel happy, while others don’t want to be bothered with stinky old boys. Either way your relationships should bring out the best in you – your attitudes, your behaviors, your SMILE and should bring glory to God. Christ-centered friendships are AWESOME! God made us this way and He wants what is best for us.

BONUS:

I interviewed a very nice young man for this blog, so I could pass some good information on to you young ladies.

Question: What do you find attractive in a girl?

Answer: I find attractive a girl who has a good head on her shoulders. A girl who wants to try to be successful in her life. A girl who has good values. Who follows God, and tries her best to be close to family and really close friends. A girl who values having a good time and having good memories, but not through drinking or drugs or bad behaviors. A girl who is smart and funny and means well in her intents, but also will stand up for herself and what she believes in and the people she cares about.

Question: How do you know if a girl is real or fake?

Answer: There’s no real way to tell, you just have to trust them with how they act and see how it goes. And I guess you could kinda tell if they put forth a lot of effort into the things they do and the passions they have and the people they care about to show they really do care and are genuine and aren’t fake. And also I believe if she has a lot of faith in her relationship with God then that’s another way, too.

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I can’t wait to see you young ladies grow spiritually and closer to each member of your study groups. Branch out and fellowship with the people in the :decaf Fellowship group. God has brought together some very special Daughters of the King. Open your hearts as we dive into the study, A Daughter’s Worth, and see just how special we all are to our Heavenly Father.

PRAY WITH ME:

Heavenly Father, We thank you for this opportunity to make new friends. You know our hearts and that we love you. If we could speak all the languages in the world, but didn’t love others, we would be just a bunch of noise. If we could understand all of God’s secrets and had all the knowledge in the world, but we didn’t love others, we would be NOTHING. If we gave everything to the poor and sacrificed our bodies and felt really good about ourselves, but if we didn’t love others, we would have gained NOTHING.

We read in your word that Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. We thank you for your example of LOVE to us. We love you Father and we pray that our hearts will be open to experiencing our WORTH in your eyes. AMEN

Love,

Teresa Bolme (Mama T)

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For this Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. We will begin the devotional part of this study next week, so really, you have until NEXT MONDAY to get your book! You can even order it right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email teens@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: a daughter's worth, ava sturgeon, bible study, boyfriends, boys, Christianity, Facebook, fellowship, friends, GCH:decaf, God, Jesus, Love, Prayer, relationships, teen girls, teens