March 28, 2024

Captivating: Chapter 10 – “Mothers, Daughters, Sisters” – “The Long Road Home” (pp 168-173)

 

Adam named his wife Eve,

because she would become the mother of all the living.

 GENESIS 3:20 

If you want to understand any woman

When I think about the woman that I have become, I give all the credit to my mother.  I may not have been the perfect daughter, but I did my best to be who she wanted me to be.

Just like Stasi Eldredge, I went through different phases while growing up.  I, too, did things I am not proud of; and I, too, gave my mother grief during my college years and my early twenties.  When I was at home, I made sure I was doing everything as I was told but all the while hiding the things I was doing.  I wasn’t into drugs, but I portrayed myself as someone who wasn’t dating or going to parties.  However, no matter how hard you try to hide, things come out in the end and, in my case, they did. My mother was disappointed and threatened to have me withdrawn from college.  For a while I lived up to her expectations until I started working and began to live with my aunt.  Well, my aunt made sure she reported everything I did—if I came late from work, my mother knew about it; if I had a date on Saturday afternoon or if I didn’t go to church on Sunday morning, my mother would ask me why on Monday morning.

My relationship with my mother was restrained during this time, and it made me hide who I was from her.  I longed to be a good daughter…but I couldn’t be since all she heard were the bad things that I did.  My mum would say that “I needed Jesus.”  All the “bad” I was doing was because I didn’t know Jesus.  Well, like a daughter who wanted to be in the best books with her mother, I received Jesus at a major crusade that took place.  I stopped pretending that I loved the Catholic Church and started going to a Pentecostal church.  I broke up with my boyfriend at that time because he didn’t share my new faith.  My weekends were spent at church or at home if there wasn’t a church program.  I became someone who my mum and aunt were proud of.  The reporting slowly stopped and life was good.

I wish I could end here and say that things were like that over the years.  Unfortunately it wasn’t.  I wasn’t always the good girl and this wasn’t the last time I would hide or make wrong decisions in life and disappoint my mother.  However, despite my shortcomings, my mother was there to correct me and show the correct path.  My mistakes did not stop my mum from loving me.  She was there with me through the heartbreak and pain that I suffered in my relationships.  She always rushed to be by my side when I needed her the most.

“Girls’ hearts flourish in homes where they are seen and invited to become ever more themselves. Parents who enjoy their daughters are giving them and the world a great gift. Mothers in particular have the opportunity to offer encouragement to their daughters by inviting them into their feminine world and by treasuring their daughters’ unique beauty” – Stasi Eldredge.

Looking back at my life now, I cherish the life that my parents gave me and my siblings.  We were given opportunities to excel in everything that we did.  My parents encouraged us to dream big and rejoiced with us when we did well in school and never failed to show us how much they loved and cared for us.

My mother went to be with the Lord last year after she lost her battle with diabetes.  She left behind a legacy of love, strength, and care.  She was always full of advice.  She was not someone who would embarrass you when you did something wrong;she would call you aside, listen to your side of the story, and tell you what you did wrong and what doing the right thing looked like.  My mother lived by example.  If she wanted something done, she would be the first to do it.  She was someone who would be the first and last to leave a room, making sure everything was fine.  I pray that I  become half the person that she was.

I know that some of you cannot say such things about your relationship with your mother because of the pain she may have caused you; but at the end of the day, a mother and daughter’s relationship is the most of important of all.  It’s the relationship that helps us when we grow up and become mothers ourselves.

My prayer is that no matter what went on in the past or if it may still be happening right now, we would look to the Lord to help us restore the relationship with our mothers.  My mother said I needed Jesus—and she was right.  Our faith in the Lord is what cemented our relationship.  Every time we discussed issues regarding faith, all our differences would melt away.  When we talked about Jesus, we were not mother and daughter but we were both children of the most High God, we were both daughters.  I enjoyed hearing my mother say “I am praying for you” because I knew that she meant it.

Be Blessed

Jackie

LET’S PRAY:

Lord, I thank You for the precious gift that You gave to me—my mother.   I thank You for the life that I had with her, and what she meant to me and my family.  I pray for my fellow sisters whose relationships with their mothers are not great right now, that You will restore it.  May they cherish one another and learn from one another.  May their relationships be Christ-like and forgiving.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT:

How is the relationship with your mother or daughter?  If you were given an opportunity to write about her, what would you say?  Please take time today and tell her how much she means to you.

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GWS

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If you would like to send Jackie a private email in regards to this blog post, you may email her at:  Jackie@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

GCH:decaf – Meet the Totally Awesome, Zinni!

It’s a new year girls and I can not wait to see what God has in store for me and my family, as well as what He has in store for all of you. Let us wait with expectant hearts on the Lord!

Today I have the privilege to introduce you to my beautiful daughter, Zinni. While interviewing her, she told me that the interview is about her and not about me, so here we go.

zinni

Zinni is 13 and is living in Cape Town, South Africa, but will be moving to Stafford, VA soon. When asked about her favorite group she gave me a list, but I will narrow it down to one group, which is One Direction, for now. She’s been going on about these guys lately; personally I think they have weird hairstyles :). Anyone out there who agrees with me?

Zinni’s favorite Christian artist is Mandisa, and here I agree with her wholeheartedly!!!

What you have to know about Zinni is that she loves movies! Did I tell you that Zinni loves movies yet? So I did, but I need for you to see how serious this girl is about movies. At first she said that ‘Marigold Hotel’ is her favorite; not the answer I expected, but its not about me, right! Anyway, she changed her answer to ‘ Rise of the Guardians “, a more accepted answer for me, seeing that I raised this girl and know her very well.

Her favorite TV show ? Girls we have a list, so be patient please. She loves to watch, Psych, The Mentalist, CSI, Power Rangers and Winx, just to name a few.

Now when it comes to clothes, we clash most of the time. To Zinni comfort is more important than being cute. She loves skinny jeans and loose fitting tops. She loves flats but do not like to show her toes; weird right?  On occasion she will put on earrings and other jewelry, but remember, I said on occasion.  So she will wear jewelry like three times a year or so. Blue is definitely her favorite color.

Zinni is a social butterfly, she loves to talk!  She and her best friend Gillian have this special language that they converse in. Watching movies and playing in the pool are other favorites.

Her favorite foods are pizza, chicken, bacon, crispy potatoes and cake.

Zinni’s return to South Africa after living overseas for 10 years has changed her life remarkably. Although the return is not permanent, she has been changed for the better. She says that this experience has changed the way she views things, and it has also brought her much closer to God.

Well girls, this is all I have on Zinni, for now.  I hope you have enjoyed getting to know her, as much as I enjoyed interviewing her!

I love you Zinni!

Be blessed.



If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please email GCH_Decaf@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information. We’ll be starting our next online Bible study soon! So be sure to keep checking back for sign-up details to be posted!

A Daughter’s Worth Week 2 / Day 2: Your Father Delights in Your Existence

Zephaniah 3:17

The Lord your God is with you; He is mighty to save. 

He will take great delight in you; He will quiet you with His love;

He will rejoice over you with singing.

Delight is a word that isn’t used very often.  Delight is one of those words with deep meaning.  I looked it up so we could know more fully how God feels about us and this is what I found:

DELIGHT

1) A Feeling of extreme pleasure or satisfaction; JOY

2)  To please greatly

3)  Something or someone that provides a source of happiness.

Growing up I can’t say that ‘delight’ was in my vocabulary.  Aside from a few pictures, the emotion of ‘delight’ was foreign to me.  So the thought that my Heavenly Father took delight in my existence was a little hard to grasp.  I have always been a “thinker”.  When I have questions about random, everyday stuff I ‘google’ it.  My head is full of trivial information that I don’t even know where it came from.  When I have BIG questions I go to “The Source”.  I ask God, himself, to give me the answers to my hearts questions.  As a result, my heart is full of TRUTH and I DO know where I got it; My Father!  Check out Luke 11:9: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Not only does He want us to ask, He wants us to KEEP asking.  Jesus said in Matthew 7:7-8, “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for.  Keep on seeking, and you will find (what you are looking for).  Keep on Knocking and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks, receives.  Everyone who seeks, finds and everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”

Did you catch that promise directly from your Father?  So when we have questions and need answers we are to ask him and He promises to give us whatever we have asked for.  So if that is true – why don’t we know everything and have everything we need?  In James 4:2-3, we find the answer to that question (you see how I did that?  I took you back to the Source).

James said, “…You have NOT because you ASKED NOT.”  As a mom, there is nothing that gives me more joy, more delight, than to give my daughters something I know they really, really, REALLY want.  Most of the time, what my daughters want is not monetary.  They desire my time, my touch, my ears to listen to their hearts.  Sometimes I can show them I have really listened to them by remembering to do something nice for them.  I want to be the one who provides this very basic need for my daughters.  If it makes me that happy to please my daughters, how much more happy, joyous, delighted – must God the Father be to know that He provides for us exactly what we want and need?  Because we are God’s daughters, he wants to provide for us.

In Psalms 37:4 it says, “Take delight in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.”  Because God created us, HE KNOWS US.  We may go through life feeling unloved, without friends, lonely, and well, UN-known.  But our heavenly father knows what we need and gives us a very specific example in the way He acknowledged Jesus on the day he was baptized.

Let’s look at that day in Jesus’ life.  He was about 30 years old, he knew what his purpose was on this earth and he knew it was time to begin the work.  I imagine the human side of Jesus was nervous to get started, anxious about what was in his future, and a bit overwhelmed at the sheer size of his job.  He had come TO SAVE THE WORLD! Where do you start?  Who do you start with?

Jesus started at the beginning.  He decided to do the job he came to this earth for.  The first public act of his obedience was to be baptized, so he went to see his cousin, John.  (You should really go read that story.  It’s awesomely cool)

Matthew 3:16-17 takes us to the next part of Jesus’ story.

16)  After his baptism, as Jesus came up out of the water, the heavens were opened and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and settling on him. 17) And a voice from heaven said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy.”

God gave Jesus the 3 things everyone needs to hear:

1)       God claimed Jesus as His own son.  “This is my SON.”

2)      God proclaimed His love for Jesus.  “Whom I love.”

3)      God exclaimed His Joy, Delight, and Extreme Pleasure with his Son.  “I am very pleased with him.”

I imagine that Jesus needed to know who he belonged to; who loved him and who was pleased with him to be able to begin the job God sent him to do.  If Jesus needed it, so do we.  It’s OK to admit that we need to belong, be loved and be delighted in.

That’s how God made us!!!!!

“Realizing God’s delight in your existence is a wonderful ego booster.  Your Creator, the Father of everything, is always happy to hang out with you.”  (page 18, A Daughter’s Worth)  God delights in our delighting in Him.  God values our valuing Him.  Who can tell me where the verse is in the BIBLE where it says, “We love him because He first loved us”?  (Trivia Contest – Leave the answer in the comment section)  🙂

God already has claimed us as his daughters.  He has already proven he loves us.  He gives us the desires of our hearts because it brings Him joy and pleasure.  Now it’s up to us ….

Let Us Pray:

Heavenly Father, I thank you for being my dad, my papa, my ABBA.  Thank you for loving me, for telling the world that you love me and for providing everything that I need.  I am honored to be your daughter.  I accept the place you have reserved for me in your family.  My earthly family doesn’t always look or feel very loving and secure, but I know your love for me never fails. 

Father, continue to change my heart as I draw closer to you.  I love you daddy.  AMEN

<3 Teresa Bolme

VIDEO     Mighty To Save  sung by Laura Story (scripture taken from Zephaniah 3:17

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email teens@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.