December 23, 2024

Winning Him Without Words: Weekly Overview

“Whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodgest, I will lodge:  

thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.”

Ruth 1:16  

Yes, that was the scripture the minister spoke over my husband and me on our wedding day.

  1. From a peanut farm in Georgia to Tripoli Lybia, North Africa and on to Maine, Louisiana, Texas. Never would I have thought that  “going whither he goest and “lodged” would take me to so many places.

  2. His people became my dearest family.

  3. And then it happened – -seven years into the marriage, I met someone that separated us.  His name was Jesus, and at that point, my husband’s god was no longer my God.

It was then I set out on a mission to accomplish my #1 goal in my marriage – – -“Save my Husband,”  so that he would, not only go to hell, but enjoy this new man in my life with me.

But, no matter how hard I tried, he wouldn’t buy into it. To add to my place of defeat, I received a prophetic word that said:  “Sometimes we are looking for a closer relationship for our loved ones, when at the moment God is looking for that relationship with us.”

What I wanted to say to this person giving this prophetic word was:  “You missed it.  God and me are tight!  It’s my husband who needs to be in a relationship, and I am going to be the one who helps him obtain it.”  But, the Holy Spirit tapped me on the shoulder one day and politely told me that He didn’t need my help; He could handle things.

And so it was, I had to stop doing what our author, Lynn Donovan, refers to as “spiritual ambush.”  [pg 40]

As Beverly, Jennifer, Donna, and Sarah outlined each topic in Chapter 2, they bought us to a place of discovering

  • where we have been on our journey in trying to “Save Our Husbands”

  • where we are now

  • and where the Holy Spirit is leading us.

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Let’s review their points on Chapter 2 now.

Monday:  Don’t Save Your Husband, Save Yourself – -Beverly told us of all the many things she once did to get her husbands saved and in a relationship with the Lord. Beverly describes these manipulative efforts at soul winning as a handbook on how NOT to win your spouse to Christ.

Beverly arrived at an important decision about her soul winning efforts: “I decided long ago to accept that it’s God’s job to change hearts. That decision frees me to pursue my relationship with God without the added burden of having to bring my husband to faith. All I have to do is love and enjoy him. That’s God’s plan for me, and he gives me all the grace I need to accomplish it.

May we do likewise.

Tuesday:  It’s Safe to Relinquish Control – -Jennifer pointed us to the fact that we know that we can’t save our husbands, but relinquishing our control is hard to do.  She agree with the reasons that Lynn stated that made it so hard.   [page 44]

  • I am the only believer my husband encounters on a regular basis

  • I am the one person who is actively praying for him

  • If I do not show my husband Jesus, who will?

But, Jennifer pointed to Lynn’s statement that made a humbling impression on her to stop the control game.  You are underestimating the power of the Lord in your life.  [pg. 44]

May we do likewise.

Wednesday:   Throw Me a Life Preserver:   Donna pointed us to the reality that we are always in need of refining within our marriage. Forgiveness is one thing that is usually part of that refining process, which could go back to things that happened to us in childhood.  It is those experiences that might have left us with anger, bitterness, and a controlling nature.  Those things hurt our marriage and each other.

Donna summed it us by saying:  “I have found that when I hang onto God and trust him to be in control I find freedom and, to quote our author, God can change little ole me and my marriage for His glory.

May we do likewise.

Thursday:  A Daily Prayer / How Should We Pray—Sarah brought us back to the place we should be before we got on the bandwagon of trying to Save Our Husbands – – -Prayer!

Even with that revelation, Sarah points to the fact that we have to rid ourselves of distractions, get focused, and the ultimate question of “How to Pray.”

What works for Sarah has been:

  • Praying in the morning, which frees my mind of the day’s worries because nothing has happened yet to worry or stress me out! Another benefit to praying in the morning is I am better prepared to handle anything that may come along to worry or stress me out!

  • To stay focus, Sarah started a prayer journal, as Lynn suggested.  She says that by writing her prayers out in long hand, really brings her focus onto the paper and away from the distractions in the room.

  • How to Pray, Sarah says that praying from her Bible, using the right scriptures for what she needs God’s help in, but really didn’t know how to ask.  She turns those scriptures into a personal prayer.

Sarah’s new prayer life is inspiring a special person in her life – – HER HUSBAND!

May we do likewise!

Friday:  Discovery/Prayer:  Father God, if I could pray just one simple prayer for myself, and this whole community of women who are desiring a closer walk with you, it would be this:  “Help us to be doers of your word, and not just hearers.”  Those things that you have revealed to us this week are priceless.  Help us walk them out.  In Jesus name, I pray.

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For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Above all, if you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, and would like to have someone pray with you, please email us at Prayer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com. and one of our prayer team members will contact you.

Blessings to you,

Martha

 

Winning Him Without Words: Jesus with “Skin On” / Weekly Review

 

The young mother tucked her little boy in bed, turned off the lights, and walked out of his room.  It was then she heard him cry out:  “Mom, turn the lights back on; I’m scared of the dark.”  The mother walked back into his room to reassure him.  “Now, son, don’t be afraid, Jesus is here with you.”  To which he replied:  “I know Jesus is in here with me, but I want somebody with some skin on!”

Can we admit that we all have felt that way?  “Yes, I know you are near Jesus, but, I really want someone to pray and study your word with me, someone to sit beside me in church, and most of all, Jesus, I want to talk to someone about I much I love YOU.   That someone is my husband.  Won’t you please tell him to come into the room with me?  I am scared of being in this dark room alone.”

Thirty eight years have passed since the day I accepted Jesus as my Savior, and my husband still hasn’t shown up in that dark room with me.  But, my goodness how God has blessed me by sending so many Jesus with “Skin On” people!  They brought light into my dark and lonely room!

Allow me to introduce a few of them to you.

  1. Jackie:  Always saved a seat for me in church so I wouldn’t have to sit alone.

  2. Gerry, Beth, Gloria:  Spent hours cleaning their homes for the weekly bible study.  Oh, yes, Beth Moore  taught me much, but it was these ladies who made it possible by opening up their homes to me and all the other ladies.

  3. Sylvia, Irene, Susan:  Prophets that God used to give me a prophetic word at times when I thought I couldn’t take another step.

  4. My Pastor:  Preached sermons that I know he prepared just for me!

  5. Melba, my pastor’s wife:  Gave me opportunities in ministry.  Quite frankly, I had always thought that I couldn’t go into ministry with an unsaved husband. What do I have to offer if the head of my household is not serving the Lord?

I just know that these people will receive a special reward in heaven one day for being obedient to God, and being there for me.

But, I have to confess that when the journey stretches into years of being unequally yoked as it has for me, there is a tendency to grow weary.  As the year 2010 was drawing to a close, I felt like I had reached my limits. “When is this man, my high school sweetheart, father of our two daughters, and grandfather of three going to fall down at the feet of Jesus?”  I felt the lights being turned off in the room again.

And then one day in March, 2011, God showed up with a whole army of Jesus with “Skin On” people.  It happened like this.

I stumbled upon the book, Winning Him Without Words by Lynn and Dineen.  In all my many years of being unequally yoke, I had never read a book about the unequally yoked, nor had I been associated with anyone “like me.”  But, God in his perfect timing introduced me to these two ladies, along with their community of women on their website, Spiritually Unequal Marriage.  And then, He introduced me to you, my friends, at Girlfriends Coffee Hour.

I’m not alone in the dark room anymore. – -I’m hanging out with – – Jesus with “Skin On” people from all over the U.S. and world who are “just like me!”

As for my husband?   “He has made  everything beautiful in its time.” [Ecc. 3:11]

Let’s Pray:  

Father God, I ask you in the name of your son, Jesus, that every lady taking this course be blessed with Jesus with “Skin On” people so that they will not sit in a dark room alone.  We need each other to help us walk out our lives before our husbands according to 1 Peter 3.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:  

Who are your Jesus with Skin On people?  Take time today, not only to thank God for them, but call or send them a note expressing your appreciation for being with you on your journey.  For starters, list them in the comment section.

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And now, as we come to the close of the first chapter of Winning Him Without Words, review this past week:

Monday:  Know That You are not Alone:  Beverly pointed to page 27 in our book that described her feelings of being alone: yearns for her husband to sit with her, feel his arm come around her shoulder, desires to have him look up Bible verses together,  hold her hand after they found it.  But, Beverly made a decision she has stuck with for 33 years.

  • Stopped worrying about her husband, and left him in God’s hands.

  • Kept going to church and serving God in areas that He led her into.

  • Kept asking her hubby to come with her.

  • Took her children with her so they could learn about Jesus.

  • And thanks God that He is sitting with her in that pew, along with  friends who support, embrace, and pray for her.

May we do likewise.

Tuesday:  The Alone Factor:  Jennifer pointed us to reality:  we are alone by not having a spiritual connection with our husbands, and it hurts.  But, she learned the real truth:

We live for a Savior who desires to do life with us. That actually gives me a sense of peace. I am truly not alone in this. Our Heavenly Father is walking right alongside us, infusing us with power and strength every single day. He knows the aching of our hearts. He knows our longings. He wants the same thing for our husbands and for our marriages. He will not leave us flailing.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:20(b), NIV)

May we do likewise.

Wednesday:  Is it Possible to Thrive in a Mismatched Marriage?  Donna assures us that we can thrive in a mismatched marriage and this is how she learned to do it:

When I let God be in control he takes away the anxiety of my life. God meets me right where I am and meets hubby where he is too. My marriage can grow and THRIVE!! I can rest assured God has our backs in this marriage-After all he created marriage! All I need do is get off my “throne” and hand my scepter over to God, pray for my husband and let God work!

May we do likewise.

Thursday:  Placing Christ On The Throne:  Sarah makes a statement that all of us could probably admit to when she says:  To surrender your power and control is a hard thing to do. Some may say impossible.

But, Sarah has made a commitment to start each day with the following prayer no matter how silly she may feel: Jesus, right now as I begin this new day, I surrender my place of authority over my life to You.  I am placing You firmly on the throne of my life.  Teach me to focus on Your desires for living.  I give you my entire life this day.  In Your powerful name Jesus.  Amen

May we do likewise.

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For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Above all, if you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, and would like to have someone pray with you, please email our Prayer Team Leader:  Robin@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com, and one of our prayer team members will contact you.

Blessings to you,

Martha