Hey sweet lady,
How does a working mom balance time for kids, home, work, church, etc when husband travels for his job? Brian’s job has been more stressful & time consuming than I thought it would be a year ago. I’m left to manage EVERYTHING for the household and lately have been reprimanded for being too grumpy. How do I keep things running smoothly without feeling resentful, unappreciated, etc for what I do?
~AB
My Dear AB,
Ah… I know this world you speak of all too well and my husband has traveled for work for the past few years, At first, I was a HOT MESS…. but I have learned strategies that have helped so much! There are many layers to your question…. but they all come down to RELATIONSHIP!
Your relationship with God
Your relationship with your Husband
…and, yes… in that order!
***I could easily write whole blog posts on each item listed below… so please forgive me if I am too vague or if you need more clarification. I will do my best to share with you what has worked well in my own family and I am more than happy to expand on any of these suggestions in future blog posts or in comments on today’s blog!
The more intimate your walk with the Lord, the better you will handle every single situation and circumstance that life brings your way!
- Be consistent with your daily quiet time and be in The Word.
- Keep God with you throughout your day.
- Let God prioritize your day! Don’t give HIM your to-do list… give it up to HIM and I promise you, what MUST get done will get done… in perfect timing!
- Take a look at all you do in one day and ask God if there is anything you can delegate or anything you have taken on that HE is not intending for you to do in this season. If He shows you anything that falls into these categories, give them up.
- Give yourself a “time-out” when you need it to re-center and focus and not be “grumpy.”
The stronger your relationship is with your husband, the better you will handle every single situation and circumstance that your kids bring your way!
- Submit to his authority and let him handle the big stuff…. even while out-of-town.
- You both need to be on the same page with boundaries and consequences (good and bad) with the kids.
- Clear expectations need to be set with the kids. We call it our family’s “culture” and I highly recommend drawing up a family constitution together with the kids so that everyone has input and understands what is expected of them.
- Woo your husband even {and especially} when he is out-of-town.
- Stay positive and know that this, too, shall pass!
Philippians 4:11-12
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,
whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
Philippians 2:14
Do all things without grumbling or arguing
God calls us to be content in all situations and circumstances. That is not an easy task, but it IS possible through God! I know how hard it is to stay content when you have so much pulling at you and you feel as if you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Where we get into trouble is when we start doing things for people and not for God. You are not here on this earth to please your husband, kids, friends, or even your boss! If you truly are living to please our Heavenly Father, that will help you maintain the proper perspective no matter what curve balls get thrown your way! Yes, people might not like what you do or how you handle something, but as long as you know that your actions, words, responses (not reactions) are in line with God’s Word and His commands, that ultimately is what matters.
Remember, feelings can be so deceptive! If something happens and you feel out of sorts, the first thing you need to do is ask yourself…
Is this really a BIG deal? {If your answer is yes OR no: Why is this hurting my heart? What “button” is this pushing?}
- Check your heart condition! {Most of the time if something happens that is small but our reaction is BIG…. we need to check the condition of our own heart}
- Go to God and let Him fill that space! No one else needs to own what is yours to go to God with!
Dear Lord, comfort my sweet sister and help her to know that You are always near and ready for her to run into Your arms when she is feeling overwhelmed, over tired, and over burdened. Strengthen her and help her to find the balance she so desperately needs. I pray that You strengthen her marriage as they are one accord and may YOU always be at the center of every decision and conversation, Father. Direct their steps and keep them all safe when Mr. AB is out-of-town. I thank you in advance for all you will do! In Jesus’ mighty name I pray, Amen. <3
Blessings,
Coach Megan 🙂
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About Megan Smidt, CCLC
This is amazing and puts it all in perspective. Words we all need to live by regardless of our husband’s work responsibilities.
Thank you, Megan, for these words of wisdom, encouragement, and challenge. I, too, needed to be reminded of this as my husband travels a lot, and a lot of the responsibilities of the home and ministry fall on my shoulders. I do get tired. It’s important that I sit back and meditate on my priorities and relationships in relation to God’s Word. Thank you.
Great blog, Megan! I just love reading these blogs!!! As one who has been there and done that (and lived to tell about it!) I applaud everything you laid out here. Prayers to AB and her family and to you!
The most important take-away is to stay in submission to your spouse and keep him as the head of your household, even if he is gone a lot of the time. You need to be creative, but it IS possible to do! That is how we have maintained balance in our house, even with dad gone a lot. We did not do this well in the beginning and we all suffered for it. I am so happy this is speaking to your hearts <3
By the way…. I had Craig read the blog post before I put it up and HE approves of this message as a traveling husband! LOL!!! 🙂
As CG said: I have been there and done that and lived to tell about it. My husband traveled most of the time our girls were growing up. I did start my day in the Word. I can’t say that I always had the best of attitude with him or our girls, but without the Word, I would have been a total wreck and would not have lived through it. Great points, Megan.
Thank you Megan for these wonderful words of truth and encouragement. Although the question asked is not my situation as far as husband traveling with job and kids at home there were other things I could relate to in general. Grumpiness at times. 🙁 you put things in order and perspective when lining up the priority of our relationship with God and spouse. I too enjoy your blogs they are such an encouragement to me!!!
I think this is something many of us can relate to. I know it i s an area I struggle with and my husband doesn’t travel often. Thanks AB for asking the questons! And Thank you Megan for the wonderful words of truth. I love reading your blogs as they are always full of such encouragement!!
SOOOO happy this is blessing all of your hearts <3 What area mentioned above do you struggle with the most?
I so love this blog today… this works even for us wives whose husbands dont travel a lot. We all have to keep God first then our husbands and the same for them. Thank you!! <3
amen <3 🙂
I agree….wholeheartedly…this applies to any wife! I’ve printed this out, so I can keep it in my Bible!! Good stuff Megan!! Holy Spirit led, for sure!!
Great post, Megan! My husband doesn’t travel, but I sometimes feel “grumpy” and I love the way you put this into perspective! I need to remember Philippians 2:14 every day! 🙂