I have a story to tell you and it’s not pretty. It’s one of those stories that you really wish had never happened and you never had to own up to. But the truth is, it did happen and it is part of my history. Kind of like a Series of Unfortunate Events, only I was a main character and I made decisions that I knew I shouldn’t have and I paid the price for my actions. I have to tell you so you will see how the Holy Spirit works in our lives if we let Him.
First of all, to have the Holy Spirit in your life you have to have given your life to follow Jesus. That is #1. Getting to know Jesus and what He expects from us is #2. Learning to walk the walk and talk the talk is #3. Making a mess of life and making changes to bad behavior and habits is part of #3. Deciding that God’s way is best and that He wants what is best for me, that’s #4. Today’s story comes in at #3 and I’ll tell you about how I learned about #4.
I have to tell you that I am a very stubborn and strong-willed person. Sometimes that works in my favor, sometimes it gets me into trouble. Finding that balance is where the Holy Spirit comes in. I was raised in church and was drawn by the Holy Spirit to give my life to Jesus when I was 11. Boy was that a hard admission to make when you are stubborn and head strong…and shy. I knew I needed Jesus and I knew He wanted me. I was afraid to admit it publicly because people would look at me. My God did not give up on me and He continued to tell me to come to Him. Finally at summer camp, during cabin quiet time, I gave my heart to Jesus. No tears, no hysterics, no party…just obedience to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Peace entered my heart and calmed the inside of me. That was pretty cool, then I had to tell my mom, and my pastor, and my church. It’s biblical you know. Romans 10:9 says, “If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” So after I told my church, I got baptized…in the river, the Tennessee River, just like the old songs and the movies show it.
Man, I was on fire…on the inside. Still shy, you know. I dug in to the Bible even more than I had before. My favorite verse was, and still is Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. At 12, I felt God (through the Holy Spirit) tell me of the plans He had for my life. I asked Him questions and He answered me. I have held those words in my heart all these years. They are just as real today as they were when I was 12. I am now living those plans that God revealed to me when I was young. Never could I have known what my life would look like, or who I would marry, or how many kids I would have, or that I would be leading an online Bible study. I had to trust that if I gave my life to Jesus, He would take care of the details.
So HERE is where I MESSED up and had a NO good, DIRTY, rotten, Horrible DAY for about a year. :-/ I was in church, in school and everybody had boyfriends. I felt left out and really wanted a boyfriend soooo bad. I prayed for a boyfriend, ANY boyfriend to make me feel special and show the world that somebody wanted me. I was getting attention from some boys, but none that I really liked or thought would be a good choice. I got really tired of waiting for the person God was preparing for me and decided to take a risk on a “bad boy”. Well, in my defense, he was the pastor’s son, he rode my school bus and he was kinda cute. He also cussed, smoked pot on said school bus and didn’t do his homework. He and his buddies got into all kinds of trouble, but he liked ME. HMMMMM, what’s a good girl to do?
So back to #3. I got distracted from walking the walk, because the talk I was talking was not good. I let this relationship with the boy distract me from the plan God had for me. I got in trouble at school. I lost some friends. I got two In-School suspensions and one 3-day unpaid vacation that my parents were not thrilled about. (sarcasm here) I’m surprised they let me live. It was a close call in my house for a while. My sophomore year of high school is one I wish I could get a do-over, or take a HUGE eraser to and wipe it from my history. I can’t erase it, because it brought me to #4, “Deciding that God’s way is best and that He wants what is best for me”. I had to learn the hard way and some of you do too. Maybe I went through that way back then so I could share it with you today. DON’T DO WHAT I DID!
Ava tells us in today’s lesson, “When you focus on God, the Holy Spirit goes to work.” Try really hard to get your heart focused on God. Push out the distractions and listen for the Holy Spirit to speak to you. Just because I messed up at 14, I didn’t erase God’s plan that He gave me when I was 12. He didn’t throw me away because I made a bad decision, or several bad decisions. He loved me and drew me back to Himself and taught me to walk the walk. I’d like to say that was the only mistake I made in my life, but it’s not. It is however, one that I was embarrassed to talk about for a long time. Now it is part of my love story with Jesus.
LET’S PRAY:
Heavenly Father, Thank you for loving us enough to let us make our mistakes, correct our path and give us a job that brings glory to YOU. Forgive us when we mess up. You know we are going to mess up and need you to come to our rescue. Thank you for picking up the pieces of our heart and putting it back together. We love you, Father and want to bring you all of us to use any way you want. AMEN
Much Love,
Mama T <3
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About Teresa Bolme
thank you, mama teresa, for sharing your heart, your experience, your bad choices, and the grace of your Father! praying your prayer! <3
Thank you for your grace, Coleen. I always cringe when I share this part of my story.
awww…i know you know that somoften when we share our story og God's grace, forgiveness, mercy to us, it is often the HUGEST blessing and encouragment to a sister! <3
ugh….. so true and thank GOD for #4!!! You have such a gift, my friend 🙂
I am so thankful for #4. The Holy Spirit is truly my guide and my comforter and gets me through this life. Thanks for the nudge to tell my story.
Mama T…WOW!!!! You were baptized in the Tennessee River!!!! How awesome is that?!!! Amazing!! I am so glad that God gives us a second chance. He is always there, waiting with open arms 🙂 Oh I love Him! Thanks God that He gives "Do Overs" 🙂
Absolutely thankful for do-overs. The pastor had to hold on to me to keep me from floating away. Lol. It was pretty cool
Mama T thank you for sharing:) I wish I would have read this when I was in highschool.. I had to learn the very hard way too. But, I am thankful for everything I went through because those events have brought me to where I am today…closer to God.
Why is it the most important lessons have to be learned the hard way? That was probably one of the most valuable times in my life as well. I have used that knowledge with my own daughters as they have gotten to that stage. No experience is lost unless we keep it to ourselves.