The four seasons (spring, summer, fall and winter)….are they different?
Let’s name some differences we notice as each season comes around:
Spring – the sun rises in the earlier hours of the morning and begins setting later in the afternoon, the days begin to get slightly warmer, spring flowers start to appear, birds start building their nests, some days are cold enough to still get snow and yet some days are warm enough to play out in the garden.
Summer – the days are warmer and longer, we have to protect our skin from the harmful sun rays by using sunscreen, the weather is drier/humid, in some areas it is so hot we can hardly breathe.
Fall – days become shorter, evenings become cooler in the evenings, leaves fall off of trees, strong winds, lot of rain, hurricane season.
Winter – the days are shorter and very cold, sometimes we wake up to find frost or ice, sometimes it rains, sometimes we have sleet and snow.
As each season approaches we experience how our world can be turned upside down, revealing something different as each one comes and goes.
This is the same with our marriages, we have seasons with it too! I love the way Lynn talked about walking thru her garden looking for hints of new growth. How her garden is a marker of sorts, how her garden is a reflection of her marriage journey.
Let’s explore our seasons of marriage and check and see if we need to do some planting, some pruning, some weeding, spreading the necessary fertilizer so that growth (healing) can occur.
Let’s look at the beginning season of our marriage – I am gonna call this the ooey gooey romantic season – this is the season where we look at each other all the time with “that look” you know the look I am talking about, the one that says you are mine forever and as long as we are together…no matter what we do or look like our life will be perfect forever! Yep these are the early years of marriage, the years that we think we can conquer anything that comes our way, that we have this marriage thing made in the shade, however, there is something that we don’t think about this season at first but it is filled with nervousness, confusion and hurts that we don’t notice at first because we are so preoccupied with “getting married” and being in-love that we didn’t notice the other stuff that was already there.
Now we slowly move into another season of marriage – I will call this the drown or float season…kids have now come into our lives, more bills have come our way, more duties like sports activities-dance classes, stresses on kids to have the name brand clothing and all the new fan-dangled electronics, kids start driving….
Oh and now we move into the next season—kids are out on their own, maybe you have retired, you made it through everything your marriage seasons brought your way so far, you started with your marriage of 2, then onto a family of 4, now back to the 2 of you again. You now sit across the room looking at your sweet geezer and you notice the grey hairs, the wrinkled face and your mind wanders back to all the seasons of your marriage you have had up to now—and you experience how rich the soil in your garden has truly been—you are now sensing the need to have a tilling season…..
As you sit and look at your husband you begin to look down the rows(the seasons) of your marriage and how you were growing in your faith with God and you were growing your children in your faith with God and yet one row of your marriage was not growing with the same speed as the other rows were, as a matter of fact those rows were what is called “stunted growth”. The more you learned about Jesus the more you wanted your husband to know and learn. You wanted to come together in this area of your marriage and bring a harvest “together”, and yet you were doing it all alone…not together like in your ooey gooey season.
You felt lonely even though you weren’t alone, because you now have God. The old hornworms(Satan) is always waiting for this time in our marriage so that he can destroy what God is trying to bless, and when we remain in God’s row we discover the power of growth in us and our marriage.
We push pass the lonliness the hurts we experience, we begin cultivating, pruning and reshaping what old smut face is trying to destroy. We put new soil(God’s Word) in our souls, this is how our season of hurt to healing reveals its power in our marriage.
Our husbands may still be in the row of stunted growth because he hasn’t chosen to move over to the row where Christ is but every season of marriage we go through together is worth the wait, worth every struggle we may face, worth the day-by-day effort we put into making our marriage grow—-but getting to the day of HARVEST means we have some walking to do through our garden(our marriage) looking for signs of new growth, staying on a seek and destroy mission to weed out the worms, traveling through (the rows) the road of forgiveness…..then and only then will we see A HARVEST and survive this season.
Let’s Keep cultivating our marriages and bring home a harvest (our husband) to God…God can use us to till, to plant, to prune, to weed and to spread the fertilizer that our husbands and our marriages need!
Let’s Pray:
God I pray that you show each of us how to cultivate new soil this week in our marriage, in Your name I pray. Amen!
Your assignment:
Share with us what your season of marriage looks like and how you will cultivate it in order to help bring home a harvest.
Love you all and Happy Thanksgiving,
Beverly
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About Beverly McCormick
Beautifully written, Beverly. And the picture you used brightened my morning. God gives us such beauty! My husband and I are in the ooey gooey romantic season and the drown or float season. Ooey gooey in that we just celebrated out first anniversary a month ago, and still feel the excitement and butterflies that honeymooners feel, but in the drown or float season, because I have 12 and 18 year old daughters so our marriage from the start has been a flurry of activity with them. Combine that with bills and my health, and we definitely have a foot firmly paced in each of those seasons. Staying in the Word, going to church together, having fun as a family, and keeping the romance alive are all ways we cultivate our marriage.
Shandy thanks for sharing with us today, so excited to hear you have a plan of how to keep cultivated…..love ya and have a wonderful week!
I am in the ooey gooey season, but there's a twist because my husband is deployed. We've been married almost two years. I stay in the Word and continually give my marriage to the Lord and He blesses that willingness and vulnerability.
We've been there, Alicia! My husband was in the Army for 7 1/2 years. It is definitely a different dynamic when your man is deployed. That's a season in itself! Praying for you! <3
Alicia thanks so much for sharing with us today…and I will add you and hubby to my prayer list…I know how difficult this is for you with your man away…and it is encouraging to hear you have your marriage planted at Gods feet….and oh how exciting it will be to hear how He will grow the two of you upon his return home!
We are in the season of our marriage where we are empty nesters! We are enjoying it but on the other hand it's so different. We stil try to get time alone, I know you think we're always alone now but not true. We work and are tired and don't have as much energy as we used to. But we are working on keeping the soil fresh and new and planting a new part of our garden. Making sure to keep a date at least every couple of weeks and communication open as much as possible. (by the way, I still look at him with THOSE eyes:)
We love this new season of our life and plan to enjoy what God gave us and the fruits of our labor! ( Grankids!!!) This was wonderful Beverly!!! I also loved the picture! Thanks!
Thanks Donna for sharing what you are doing in your new season….and this empty neater thing is so different…but oh what fun too getting back to those dating days again…enjoy those new things you two are now planting!!! Have a wonderful day!
We are in the drown or float season & those words describe it perfectly! Some days we feel like we can conquer anything together (float) & other days we look at each other & just feel defeated (drown). But we love each other deeply & know that soon we'll be the empty nesters! We'll miss having our daughters with us day in & day out, but it's also going to be nice to bring the focus back on just the 2 of us again.
Enjoy this season Sarah, I know this is cliche' but it goes by so quickly!! Soon it will be just you two again but you will miss this season as you enjoy the new one that comes! Love you sister!!
Sara thanks for sharing your heart with us today…yes it is great to enjoy just two again…but don't rush this beautiful season where God has you now…He still has things to teach before you move into the next….love ya sister! And there will be sometimes you will want to go back to the previous season….or at least I have…and when I have tried God said to me "girl get back to where I put you and stop trying to come back". I say yes Lord I hear ya…have a great week Sara!
We are in the in between season. We are floaters in the sense that our 19 y/o is still here attending college and trying to be grown up.
We ourselves as a couple are just getting back on track. After being separated for five years we are getting reacquainted. It is funny how we can see things so differently but end on the same conclusion. We are quite ready to retire because we both want to do something to help others. We are though looking forward to what is ahead. For it is in this season next that I pray we can really get to know each other and come to know who we are in Christ.
Anne thanks for sharing your life with us…It is encouraging to me that the two of you are working it out! And that you are looking to cultivate new rows together with Christ as your head Gardner!!!! I love this story…have a wonderful week
We are empty nesters but I am just beginning the walk of the unequally yoked. The past 5 years have been spent trying to rebuild our marriage after several devastating blows. In July of this year that I found out my husband has walked away from God. Old smutty face has done his best to destroy our marriage and continues to try. For myself, I am in the pruning and weeding season. God is shaping me into the woman and wife He created me to be. It is often a painful season with lots of back breaking work. But the harvest will be worth all the effort 🙂
Oh thanks for sharing with us and I agree this marriage garden does take lots of backbreaking work….but oh what a blessing God will bestow on us when we agree to let Him work planting us, pruning us, fertilizing us completely in HIM….I look forward to seeing your marriage come to FULL HARVEST! Love ya sister!
GREAT BLOG Beverly!! We are in the empty nest season, and still try to be in the ooey gooey stage. I still plan date nights, we spend time together at home, watching movies or reading our kindles. We just had cable turned off, hope hubby can survive. I really like the part of stunted growth you wrote about. I am trying to grow in the Lord and hubby is so well at the bottom. Last night even we were talking about church, where we want to go, he wants to go back to the previous church I don't, well anyways, I quoted a scripture and he just looked at me and said " you always say scriptures, what? is it in your head or something? why do you do it?" Ok I really tried talking to him and yes quoted another scripture, don't think he liked that, he just looked at me and said irritatingly "well fine if you want me to grow in the bible and walk I will". So again another talk, you grow for you and the Lord not me. He says he knows that but seriously I know he doesn't, he will try just to appease me. He reads but as a story book, he doesn't understand, he is always asking me questions, I refer him to pastor (which he doesn't do). I should be thankful that he is reading anyways but Beverly it irritates me and I get so upset because he has been going to church for 11 years now but his growth is stunted. Again I know I should be thankful that he is reading, right? What or how do I change my attitude, my irritability and let him grow at his own pace? It's hard!!
Patti, the first thing I see here is that you are trying to change your husbands relationship with God, in your own strength and power. Go back and read Chapter 2 of our study book. I believe it will answer a LOT of your questions!! <3 U
Patti, I can tell you that I have been where you are and the best thing you can do for your marriage is let God take you where He needs you to be and you pray for where God will lead your husband…only God can change him…God will quietly use you and your example as you stay in tune with Him, so step aside and let God powerfully work my sister! and you pray! love ya!
Love this blog, Beverly!!! 🙂
We are in the Empty-Nester season. Have been for a few years now. We had only been married about 5 years when we became empty nesters, so when that happened, it threw us into the honeymoon stage again!! ha! I like to plan date nights w/ hubby at least twice a year. But recently we went away for 2 days for our anniversary, and I am now a firm believer that we need to get out of "Dodge" more often!! It was amazing!!!
Yay honeymoon season Christi….and yay to getting outta dodge for some time with your man….our seasons change and so do we so enjoy these new seasons God is bringing you through, thanks for sharing with us today!
Thanks Christie, I will read it again!! Yes I need to stop and let him grow on his own but it's hard so I step in and yep it doesn't do anything except make a mess.! Ok I will read it and get back with you if I have questions or comments. Thanks!!
Great blog today, Beverly! Beautiful photo, too!! 🙂
thanks Jennifer!
I don't really know how to answer this, but bear with me…I would say that my marriage at this point has the same feel as early Autumn in Wisconsin. Some beautiful, warm days and some days that are chaotic, filled with rain, blowing wind, noise and disrespect for things around.