He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. [2 Corinthians 12:9]
Trade perfection for authenticity is what Dineen asks us to do in Chapter 6.
Not to sound “holier than thou,” but I aced this chapter. A perfectionist, I am not! In fact, that is the character trait that divides by husband and me the most.
Oh yes, he is the perfectionist in the family. He cleans up most of the things I start because, as he puts it: “You made a mess of this!” It drives me nuts. Perfection just isn’t a word in my vocabulary.
I believe there is no room for perfection in our spiritual lives either. So, I ask you ladies: “Do you really think you can live this Christian life before your husband perfectly?” “Do you really think those old fleshly flaws within you aren’t going to occasionally pop up?”
“Come on, ladies, you need to get real!”
Authenticity says: “Yes, I goofed, that is why I need a Savior!”
Authenticity says: “I need to stop putting up a front before my husband, and ask his forgiveness when I mess up.”
Authenticity says: “I’m not intimidated to speak about the passion I have within me for my Savior in front of my unsaved husband.
Oops! I guess I didn’t ace the chapter after all.
Oh, God, forgive me. I now see that the passion I have within me for Jesus needs to spill out of my mouth “naturally.” I know not to preach and nag at my husband, nor run my mouth off like a “religious freak.” But, I now see that I have become unbalanced in my efforts to say “not a word,” and have quenched my passion for you.
I hear you saying, “Come on Martha, you need to get real!”
“Let your passion for me flow out of you like a soft stream of water flowing along the river bands – -sweetly and soothing.”
And now, let’s review what Beverly, Jennifer, Donna, and Sarah had to say about Trading Perfection for Authenticity.
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Weekly Review
Monday: Perfection for Authenticity / A Fine Linen Belt – Beverly had tried to be the “perfect” wife to her husband for years. But, this week, she learned a lesson through Jeremiah’s linen belt. God had instructed Jeremiah to take his belt off and hide it in rocks near a river. When Jeremiah retrieved the belt, the elements had ruined it and it was completely useless.
Beverly compared this to allowing certain “elements” to damage our relationship with our husbands to the point that we are no longer being the living representation of Christ in our homes.
Beverly challenges us in the following ways to reflect and show our husbands God:
Our heart – -what is in there
Our minds – -what she is thinking
Our soul – -what are our desires
May we accept the challenge.
Tuesday: A Confession – Jennifer asks us some thought provoking questions concerning how we live our lives in front of our unsaved husbands.
How often do you let your husband see the not-so-Christian parts of you?
Do you fear that you might “look bad” or “un-Christian” if you are authentic?
Do you think you might give Jesus a “bad name?
Jennifer suggests reasons why we might be having problems in this area, such as:
My husband might laugh at me
My husband might mock me
My husband might say I’m not really a Christian
My husband thinks I should be perfect if I’m a Christian
My husband’s words might hurt my feelings
Jennifer challenges us to: Lay down the idol of perfection. We cannot be an authentic warrior for Christ if we pretend to have it all together. It is through our authenticity that Christ uses us to reach other people with the Good News of His saving grace.
May we accept this challenge.
Wednesday: Heart Tablets – Donna points to the scripture Dineen brought out in 2 Cor. 2:3 as humbling her. In this verse, God says we are a letter from Christ to our spouse.
From this verse, Donna saw that the Spirit of God has reached down and written on her heart. These reflections from her heart can now be reflected to her un-saved loved ones who does not listen to fleshly efforts of nagging, crying, begging, and anger when she witnesses to them.
Donna makes a very valid point to think about: Would you listen to someone who is hassling you? Would you see a loving, caring God in that kind of tone?
She challenges us to:
Take a step back in our marriage.
Don’t worry about planning what to say or do next.
Let yourself be God’s love letter to them.
May we accept this challenge.
Thursday: Sacrificial Giving – Sarah, uses Dineen’s idea of the perfect gift to give our husbands for Valentine gift, instead of chocolates. It comes in the form making a listing of the things that she would not do to her husband anymore. Just plain and simple:
No Nagging
No Expectations
No False Assumptions
No Resentment
Sarah leaves it with each of us to determine where in stand on these matters. It is definitely food for thought as a means of Sacrificial Giving.
May we expect the challenge and do likewise.
Friday: Discovery/Prayer – Father, God, I thank you for what you have taught us about being real this week. Help us to get rid of any hang-ups in our lives that are preventing us from representing Jesus before our husband, be he saved or unsaved. Help us to live our lives before him according to 1 Peter 3. In Jesus name, I pray, Amen.
Your Assignment:
Think back over the week and name one thing you definitely know you should start immediately doing to be authentic with your husband.
Have a blessed day,
Martha
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I know I need to be real but have pretended for so long now I am not sure who the authentic me is. Trying to find her so I can drop the act and be authentic with my husband
False assumptions—a biggie for me! I am so guilty of this. I need to really focus on this area. I truely believe that a lot of conflict would disappear if I would stop assuming and take what DH says for what it is and if I don't understand what he is saying exactly-ask! Runaway thoughts need to be taken captive!
False assumptions is definitely my challenge. Sometimes I assume things about my husband and our life that I shouldn't. Going to try to communicate better.
I need to really hear him. Not just pretend I'm listening and still do what I think is best.
I love the weekly review. God is doing such a great work in so many lives through this study. I need to work on "listening" better..