Peter wrote this letter sometime between A.D. 60 and 64. Women in the first century had no legal rights. The husband and father was the ultimate authority over everyone in the household, including his wife. If the husband did not believe in Christ, Peter assured Christian women that they did not have to preach to their husbands. In fact, direct confrontation may even backfire. However, women could still show Christ to their husbands – by their behavior and character – not by their words.
In this section of our book, Dineen relates a story about an encounter she has with a receptionist at the doctor’s office. She was ashamed at her reaction to the situation. She silently prayed, asking God for the opportunity to apologize to this harried worker. The woman comes up to her right then and Dineen is able to apologize.
The best part of this whole story is that Dineen felt led by the Holy Spirit to share this entire encounter with her unbelieving husband. Every detail – even the not-so-Christian parts. And he was proud of her.
He saw the not-so-perfect part of her and he was proud.
How often do you let your husband see the not-so-Christian parts of you? Do you hide your true self from him for fear of what he might think or say? Do you fear that you might “look bad” or “unChristian” if you are authentic, if you really let your hair down and let your unbelieving spouse see everything? Do you think you might give Jesus a “bad name”?
What do you think would happen? Make a list. I’ll wait.
Are any of these things on your list?
- My husband might laugh at me
- My husband might mock me
- My husband might say I’m not really a Christian
- My husband thinks I should be perfect if I’m a Christian
- My husband’s words might hurt my feelings
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7, NKJV)
The Holy Spirit that the Lord poured into you when you were saved is a spirit of POWER, LOVE, and of a SOUND MIND. There is one thing it is not – a spirit of fear. Even though your spouse’s words or actions may hurt you in the moment, remember that you have a power living within you that is greater than those hurtful words or actions. A power that parted the Red Sea and raised our Savior from the dead. That power is alive in you!
Girlfriends, when we are authentic, our unbelieving husbands can relate to us. They do not feel like they have to compete with this guy named Jesus. They see that we can own up to our mistakes, repent, and ask forgiveness of anyone we may have wronged. But, even more so, they will see that we are NOT perfect – and they do not have to be either. They will see that Jesus loves us anyway, even when we do mess up. And we WILL mess up! It is only through Christ that we are made perfect.
Today is the day, my dear friends. It is time to lay down the idol of perfection. We cannot be an authentic warrior for Christ if we pretend to have it all together. It is through our authenticity that Christ uses us to reach other people with the Good News of his saving grace. Are you ready to let go of the need to be a perfect Christian in front of your unsaved husband and let Jesus use your authentic self for His glory?
*****
Let’s Pray: Father God, in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ, we come to you asking for your forgiveness. Lord, please forgive us if we have tried too hard to be a perfect Christian in front of the unbelievers in our lives. Align our hearts with yours and show us how to live authentically in front of our unsaved spouses and how to glorify your name through our gentle and quiet spirits. In your holy name we pray, Amen!
Your Assignment: Post the list that you made from the blog assignment – What do you think would happen if your unsaved spouse saw the “not-so-perfect, “unChristian” parts of you? Pray over these things and ask God to show you the truth from His Word.
Have a Blessed Week!
Jennifer
*****
For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!
jennifer, thank you for embracing this effort of being authentic! i love where you wrote, "Even though your spouse’s words or actions may hurt you in the moment, remember that you have a power living within you that is greater than those hurtful words or actions." thankful for this being oh-so-very-true!! praying that God would continue to work in us and bless our desire to be authentic NOT (as if we could!) perfect. <3
Amen to that, Coleen!! 🙂
The more our husband sees that we are human, just like he is, and that we are no different than he is…the more he is able to relate to us and see that Christians mess up, too. We are no different than he is. We have a God that forgives us…..just as HE does!! It feels good to know that we don't have to "BE" something that we are not…PERFECT!!! Praise God!!! Very liberating!
Exactly, Christi. Nicely said! <3
Great post Jennifer. We were sinners before we became Christians. So in other words we were once where our husbands are. So they need patience. I need to give the same grace to him as God gave me.
My husband has mocked me but used words to hurt my feelings. This hurts but the Lord tells me that how He felt when he was wooing me to come to him.
Wow, Jackie, isn't that the truth? I'm sure that is how Jesus felt when we were not walking with Him! What an awesome perspective…thanks for sharing that!
Awesome words, Jennifer. People need to see how we live this life of pain and struggle with the Peace that comes from a relationship with the Lord. He makes a difference in how we handle ourselves. Good job communicating that truth. <3
Thanks Mama T 🙂
Our Husbands do need to see that we are human and we are not perfect-that nobody is whether they are a Christian or not-and in spite of that God loves us just as we are. God extends His grace,mercy and forgiveness to all of us. Being our authentic self keeps it real.
Amen.. beautifully said, Christel! <3
Great post Jennifer! Also, I do not have a husband…I think everyone knows that at this point:) but I love reading the posts from the studies you are doing because they all apply to loved ones in my life who are not saved. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Thanks Diane!!! <3 So glad you enjoy the posts!! And they definitely apply to any unbelievers in our life!!
Jennifer great blog!!! I can't even count the many times my husband has seen the "Un-Christian" me!! But I'm plugging on and hopefully he will see more of the perfection of Christ instead of that un-perfect person!! Waiting patiently for heaven!!!
AMEN!!! <3
My husband watches everything Christians do and when one is doing what they shouldn't he tells me all about it….I wonder if he watches me that closely and if he does and I don't "make the cut" so to speak is he talking to others about me? one reason why we should be so careful what we so and say….someone is always watching and I want to ensure they see HIM thru me not just me! Thanks Jen!
Very true and good point!!
Amen, Jennifer! Powerful post!