This was another difficult chapter for me this week and I kept struggling with what God would have me to share with all of you. God is beginning to open buried places inside me that I have buried for years and I know that I have tried to be the “perfect” wife over all these years instead of what God showed me thru this lesson which is “Beverly I want you to be the authentic wife”, the woman who shows her true self that you were the day you said “I do”. The one I want your husband to “see” because when he “sees” that, he will then see “me”. Oh what an epiphany He showed me tonite about how sometimes I do just “show” God instead of “live” God in front of my husband.
In today’s lesson, we find a very interesting illustration. God tells Jeremiah to buy a new linen belt and wear it around his waist. At that time, a linen belt was an intimate piece of clothing, comparable to the underwear of today. After Jeremiah wore the belt, God directed him to take it off and hide it in some rocks near a river. Several days later, God told Jeremiah to return to Perath and retrieve the belt.
After sitting in the elements, the belt that was once perfect and clean was ruined and completely useless.
The belt was symbolic of the people of Judah. They were once a people who were close to God, just as the belt was once close to Jeremiah. Over time, the people of Judah allowed pride to come into their hearts, and this pride was as damaging to the people of Judah as the elements were to the belt. Eventually, that pride ruined them and rendered them completely useless to God.
If we are not careful, we will be like the people of Judah in our marriages, we can allow the “elements” to damage our relationship with our husband. We can start to feel alone, left out, like we are just two people living in the same home together but separate and pretty soon, we end up ruined and completely useless as someone who can reach inside our husbands lives and hearts. We need to make sure we “stop and pay attention” to what we are saying and doing in our marriage and being sure we are being the living representation of Christ in our homes.
That doesn’t mean being perfect, it means being authentic!
As I was with my mom and sister this weekend during one of our bible study evenings my mom broke down and shared some things in her life that happened about 50 years ago that she had no idea that either of us knew, it was so relieving to finally hear her tell this story. I have been knowing this about 15 years, however, she had no idea that I knew. She finally had some break thru moments that evening, because she was being “authentic” with us after all these years.
Here are a few things that came to my mind as I studied this lesson that I think we need to be reflecting and showing our husbands:
- Our hearts – what is in there
- Our minds – what are we thinking
- Our soul – what are our desires
Understand I know that some of our husbands may not want to hear these things, but if we approach him at the right time and in the right demeanor (meaning we have taken it to God first before we hit him with it) I truly believe he will be more receptive to hearing our authentic selves and not the pretend tiptoeing around spouse we are currently being. As Dineen shared with us; I also know that many of us don’t have the freedoms to voice our beliefs to our husband but we can live boldly through our actions, and through knowing Christ is there with us thru every moment to speak to us and lead the decisions and our words.
Let’s pray:
God I pray for each lady this week as we stop and pay attention to what each day and each moment in our marriage is saying to us and that You help us to be effective “fine linen belts” in our homes. In your name I pray. Amen!
Your assignment:
Dineen shared with us that she asked God to connect the dots with this story He gave her in this chapter about how it related to being unequally yoked, and He gave her a picture of how the believing spouse can be that fine linen belt…. So after you read this lesson “trading perfection for authenticity” did God show you something specific to help “you” connect dots for your marriage, if so would you share your thoughts with us today.
For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!
About Beverly McCormick
I wish I would've read this long ago although I trust Gods timing in all of this. When I look at my husband now I look at him with Gods eyes.
Empathetic and not hostile. As hard as it is, I have to take some responsibility for how he responds to me and reacts to me. He's been mine for 22 years and I haven't always been Christ like though I've been a Christian our whole marriage I can't expect him to change overnight just because I have. I have to live it in front of him consistently and continue to rely on God. He promises His word will produce results. Praising Him today for His nudging me and revealing things slowly.
Thanks Kim for sharing with us…don't you just love those nudges we get from God to teach us new things we need to be doing and his He reveals those new things…it is amazing how He has so much stuff for us to learn on just a few pages of a book huh? Praising Him with you today!
Great post, Beverly! I am praying for God to show me what He has for me in this lesson. It is so important to not be content to just "be" in our marriage…. we must let God into those hard, bitter, angry places so He can heal us from the inside out <3
Amen Megan.
Oh so true Megan…those deep crevices are where we need to let Him into, when we let Him that deep He will pick up some of the surface items too that we kinda just slide around from moment to moment! Thanks for sharing with us!
thanks, beverly! praying for all of us that, as we go to our Father for help, we will choose authentic even if it is uncomfortable. when i think 'authentic' it causes me to also think 'not hypocritical' and 'real.' i think that is what God has shown me this morning. <3
Thanks Coleen for sharing and yes that is what I need to do as we'll..sometimes if I get upset with what happens I will tend to get hypocritical before I even realized it. Thanks for reminding me to watch for that!
Great post Beverly! Real is what I want to be in my marriage and with God's help I can be!!
Thanks Donna and so true you can be!
You did a wonderful job of explaining this, Beverly. It is truly hard to approach an unbelieving spouse. But, you have got me thinking: "what would YOU have me say or do, Lord, to be authentic. Perhaps I have left it up to my own understanding. Thank you.
Thanks Martha for sharing…We do have some thinking to do and make sure our thoughts are in line with His!
Yesterday in my own home, proved to me that we can never become totally "comfortable" in our marriages. We need to strive daily to be INTENTIONAL about being the best that we can be, meeting the needs of our husband, and staying on guard spiritually. When we become complacent, satan sneaks in there and causes all kinds of hell to break loose! Yesterday was a big OUCH in my marriage, but I thank God for what happened because it truly opened my eyes to areas that I need to be working, as well as areas that my husband needs to work on,as well.
Thanks for opening up with us Christi, it is hard so many times to lay it all out there..and please know that I am praying for you and whatever God is teaching you thru what happened in your home yesterday as you grow from your OUCH moment!
I have been hit hard by this entire chapter. I am so grateful for your post, Beverly because it really spoke to me. For years I've wanted my husband to change into what I thought he should be. Over the weekend I noticed that he HAD changed a lot of his ways all on his own and become his authentic self. He is more even tempered, calm during stressful times, not as demanding, not as "perfect". But I also noticed I have NOT changed. I have stayed the same. I have had my moments, but they have been too fleeting. It's time for me to stop trying to be someone I'm not and find my authentic self.
Oh Sara Thanks for being so open with us today….All throughout my Bible I have prayers asking God to change ME….and I find that I am still writing those same words in my Bible….God has changed me tremendously in the years of my marriage but He still has areas that need to be molded so I am thankful for these gentle reminders thru each page of this study and from each one of you that continue to help me see other things I need some attention to. I will keep you in my prayers as God shows you the changes He has for you to make, love ya!
Thanks for all the posts. They have all been very helpful. While reading this lesson I had a bit of a revelation that even though my husband and I are best friends the last couple of years of my marriage I have acted like I was better than my husband at times because I have a strong relationship with God. I am going to work harder to show him Christ's love in me instead of trying to prove my points about God.
Julie, this is beautiful, I love how you described what you are working towards. thanks for sharing that with us and I will be praying as God leads this path
Awesome post, Beverly. If it's any comfort, this was a difficult chapter to write because I had to be so authentic on the page! Oh the irony of God. Gotta love Him. 🙂
Thanks Dineen and oh so true, it is so easy to "hide" who we are but oh so freeing to be "authentic" thanks for sharing with us