1 John 3:18
“We must not love with word or speech, but with truth and action.”
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Are you a “loving” mom, or a mom who is “in-love” with your child?
Is it important to you to be your child’s best friend, or to be one that shows them true love?
I’ve been both. I’ve been the one that shows love discipline and teaching; and I’ve been the one who just wants to be their best friend! Let’s fact it, parenting is not for the faint-hearted, is it??
Priscilla makes some very good points in this chapter:
- Our primary goal as mothers is teaching our children God’s truth.
- Love doesn’t always come in the form of words.
- Love is an action.
- Parenting is not an easy job!
- Parenting is a rewarding job!
- A fair share of your actions toward your children will not always translate love.
- Sometimes kids see our love action as being too strict, or overbearing.
I remember times when my kids were little when they used to think that I was over-protective, to the point that they told all their friends that I wouldn’t let them play out in the street for fear that a plane would crash into them! 🙂 Yes, it was a joke, but in their eyes, they really did see me as too protective. In my eyes, I was loving them. Huge difference.
We used to laugh about the plane crashing into them, but today they are both mothers, and the one daughter who used to joke about the plane the most, is the mom who is the strictest with her children! Ha! I just want to look at her one day and say “When will the plane crash??” 🙂
I’ve seen parents who think their only responsibility is to be “friends” with their kids. Friends to the point that it was unheard of to say “no” to their kids. I saw this in my own home when my husband and I moved under one roof. He had two teenage boys still at home, and his only goal was to be their friend. All I saw was two boys who were headed for a serious crash when the reality of True Life hit them! They had much to learn that life wasn’t all about getting whatever they wanted, when they wanted it. This type of “friendship” with his boys caused us, and the boys, a lot of heartache for the first few years as a family. But, my husband began to see how important it was to change that relationship with his boys and start teaching them to be responsible adults, who would be ready for real life when they left home. It wasn’t an easy change-over, that’s for sure. But we all made it out alive, Praise God!
Really, the only advice I can give new parents, or parents with fairly young children at home, please stop worrying about being their best friend! As Priscilla said in this chapter, True Love is serious business! We have the responsibility of training this human life in the way he/she should go, so that when they are old, they will not depart from it. Your children need YOU to be a parent….not their friend. There’s always time to be their best friend later in years, when they really need it!
As my youngest said to me one day, “Mom, you were always the hardest on us; but because you were, I always knew that you loved us.” You will never know what music that was to my ears!
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Let’s Pray:
Father, we lift our children to You today and we thank You for the awesome responsibility You have given us. We thank You Lord for loaning these children to us for a short period of time, to train them in the way they should go. We thank You Lord for the patience we will need during this time of actually demonstrating our love through action, and not just through words. Help us Lord to be the parent that YOU need us to be for each child in our life.
Father, for struggling families out there, Lord, I ask for Your help in repairing damage that has already been done. Help restore the relationships that have gone sour. Help restore forgiveness, as well, Lord.
In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!!
Your Assignment:
Please leave a comment below telling us in what way you struggle the most in demonstrating love to your child, in action. How can we pray for you today to have a better relationship with your child(ren)?
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Don’t forget, on October 1st, we will begin our brand new Online Bible Study, right here, entitled “Winning Him Without Words” by Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller. If you are in an unequally spiritual marriage, you won’t want to miss this study!! It is AMAZING!
To sign up for this study, please send an email to: Womens@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com and we will send you all the details you need to get started!
Don’t forget to stop by Craig’s blog to see what the guys are up to with The Resolution for Men.
www.adversusmundi.wordpress.com
Be sure to jump on over to our Facebook Group for the daily activity!! If you do not yet belong to this group, and would like to, send us an email at GirlfriendsCoffeeHour@gmail.com with FB GROUP in the subject line, and we’ll be glad to add you!
That’s it for today! Megan will be here tomorrow blogging about the next chapter, “The Soul Shaper”. I hope you will join us!
Living Intentionally to Be a Blessing to My Children,
Resolution for Women – True Love
September 10, 2012 by
hi there,
SUCH sound, biblical parenting advice! thank you. my daughter, kassia, and i are NOW in the season of our lives (glory be to God! praise You, Father!) where we can be friends…it is appropriate. she is a grown woman who is an awesome wife, mother, sister to her half-siblings, sister-in-Christ, bff… and, as such, she doesn't need a mommy to train her any longer. however she does need a mom to continue to mentor her, to encourage her, to support her in her endeavors. my struggle is to find ways that communicate within her love language—quality time/acts of service. and our wonderful God helps me SO much to do this! <3
I've gotten impatient and short with my boys. Everyday life with these great kids often wears on me and it doesn't take much for me to start snapping. 🙁 That's my biggest struggle right now.
Tracy, make yourself a promise from this day forward: Before I snap, I will BREATHE and COUNT TO 10. I will bite my tongue. I will PRAY. I will do what it takes to keep from snapping. I will even scream into a pillow if I have to….but I will not snap!
I was strict with our girls & always involved in everything they did. I knew their friends, their friends parents. They hung out at our house often, either planned or spur of the moment. It was not easy, especially with our oldest daughter. I was often criticized by family & friends for being so strict. But both girls have grown into amazing young women. I even got an apology or two. But the best was when a family member criticized me to our oldest daughter. Our oldest daughter told the family member that she appreciated the way she had been raised 🙂 Both girls still come to me, whether for advice or just a listening ear. We are more friends now but I still try to model " loving" behavior.
I can see now today, where I was too strict in some areas, and not strict enough in other areas. I should have chosen my battles a lot more cautiously than I did. But overall, I have some pretty good kids, so I must have done something right!! 🙂
I have a hard time with one of my sons, the one who is prob most like me. He keeps so many emotions inside and I find it extremely difficult to communicate with him in such a way as to show I care and love him. My words often sound like nagging words. It doesn't help that I tend to always be suspicious of his actions from his past mistakes. He is a child who thrives on praise, so I'm often torn about what consequences to give for his errors in judgment. We have struggled for over a year. I would welcome your prayers.
How old is your son, Carol?
One thing I am reminded of time and time again when speaking to our kids: "Death and Life are in the power of the tongue, and we WILL eat its fruit." Prov 18:21
You must explain that discipline is done because you love him. Praise him when he does good. But don't badger him when he doesn't. BREATHE/PRAY and sit down with him and explain his wrong actions are why he is being disciplined, because you love him enough to discipline him. Explain that because you discipline, you love him no less! And that he is not a horrible kid. We all make mistakes, and we all need discipline. God disciplines us, as adults and moms/dads, because He loves us. So it is our job to dscipline, because we love.
BUT, be sure to praise when he has done a great job, as well.
Am a single mother of an 8 year old girl our relationship is amazing, i find it a challenge to punish her when she is in wrong or when i try to be strict or say something sometimes she says am shouting at her and i don't like to shout.I want to tell her something and she knows i mean what am saying,she is open with me tells me a lot of stuff but i want to know how i can be strict without shouting how i can let her see her mistakes and why she is being punished for doing wrong,I need God's grace and wisdom to raise her up As a good and God fearing child.
Tina, the best advice I can give is two things:
1. PRAY and BREATHE before you respond/discipline.
2. Always ask for forgiveness! 🙂
Kids need to see us asking for forgiveness and confessing our sins to them, when we blow it. We're human, and we don't always do things right. Nothing wrong with being honest, but definitely ask for forgiveness. And then sit down with her and explain that you discipline her because you love her, the same way God disciplines you and I because He loves us.
Our 3 boys are all grown now but we sure did have our moments. We learned a lot with our oldest one and wished we had learned it sooner than later. Brian and I faced many challenges with him but only thought Christ strength as well as having each other to lean on we did get through it. Through many christian friends and mentors, We definitely learned to pick and choose our battles. Thanks for your words of wisdom in your blog.
Ohhhhh Pamela, I so totally know what you mean! We, too, struggled with issues when the kids were younger, but praise God they are all doing great now, as adults. That doesn't mean that we still don't have issues every now and then, but they sure are a lot easier to deal with! 🙂
AMEN! Coleen, I can't imagine you being anything but an amazing mentor and mother to your children! 🙂
I tend to struggle with showing my love for and to my children, by not being an openly affectionate person. I can talk the talk, but when it comes to walking the walk I have trouble showing the proper level of affection.
Sometimes I am like that too, Mandi. I am a hugger. I like to hug people, but when it comes to showing a deeper affection for those I care about, I don't always do what my heart wants to! Let's work on this together, ok? ((HUGS))