Resolution for Women – Hopes and Fears

If your husband were to describe your marriage to a stranger, what do you think he would say?  If he were to describe you, as his wife, to this stranger, what do you think he would say?

Last night, Girlfriends Coffee Hour hosted a conference call with two women who have both been married 30+ years.  In today’s society, 30 years is an amazing feat!  Together these two women shared much wisdom!  I would like to reiterate what was shared on this call because it just fits perfectly with this chapter of The Resolution for Women.

The keys to a successful marriage:

• Jesus has to be the foundation.  Without Him, our foundation will not be secure and stable.
• Choosing is critical to a successful marriage.  Choosing to love him, respect, and encourage him, on a daily basis.  Choosing to see the best in him.  Choosing to always provide for him, and be there for him.
• Remembering that marriage is a COVENANT.  There is no room for the word “divorce” in your vocabulary!  “No matter what, I will choose to love and to stay!”  Divorce is NOT an option!
• Mutual respect
• Never taking each other too seriously.  Being able to laugh with each other.
• Dating at least 2 times a month to keep the romance alive.
• Know each others “love language”.
• Spend time in the Word, and in Prayer.  This is the glue that will hold your marriage together.
• Love Unconditionally
• Show your husband respect.
• Encourage your husband.
• Support your husband in every way.
• Pray for your husband.
• NEVER speak badly about your husband to others.  EVER!

This was an amazing call last night, and I was very blessed by the words of wisdom that were shared by both of our Guest Speakers!

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In this chapter of Resolution for Women, we are discussing our husbands Hopes and Fears.  The two fears that were mentioned in this chapter were “Fear of being inadequate” and “Fear of being controlled.  I’m not going to spend a lot of time going over the details of each of these fears, because it’s all available to you in the book.  But, what I am going to focus on today are some statements that were shared in this chapter that stood out to me.  I’d like to reiterate these statements that Priscilla mentioned, to help us remain focused on areas that will benefit our ability to fulfill our husbands.

I want to start by asking a question mentioned on page 194, but in my own words:  “What would your husband do differently if he knew he couldn’t lose your love and respect, no matter what he did?”

Would he be able to be free to do what he’s always wanted to do?  Or would he be held back by his fear of what you would think of him?

Would he be assured of your encouragement and support?  Would he know without a doubt that you would support him and inspire him to do even greater things?  What do you think it would do for him emotionally if you were to be 100% supportive of his dream?

As Priscilla says, “Only one way to find out.”

Your husband needs to know that you trust him.  He needs to know that you believe that he is capable, honorable, and worthy of your attention and admiration.  He needs to know that you believe in him despite his inadequacies.  He needs to know that you are praying for him.  He needs to know that your expectations of him are not higher than they should be!  None of us are perfect, and we all have inadequacies.  Ask yourself how it feels (or would feel) if your husband did not support your dream.  Put yourself in his shoes, and think about what YOU would need from him…and then give exactly that to him in support of his dream.

Maybe your husband hasn’t always made the right choices.  Maybe he isn’t the best with money.  Maybe he hasn’t been the best role model to your children. But even so, YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM!  You can resolve to be a better encourager.  You can become better at affirming him, supporting him, and respecting him.  If this is an area that you struggle with, seek counseling from your Pastor, or a Christian Counselor to help re-establish this trust and confidence in him, and to become more of his cheerleader than someone who constantly puts him down.

You are the helpmeet God created for your husband.  God created YOU to be the one who shows respect, love, honor and encouragement to your husband.  If this doesn’t come easy for you in your own marriage, then seek God for His wisdom and direction. Ask God into your marriage if He isn’t a part of it already.  Pray for your husband.  Ask God to help him in the areas that he is weak, or needs wisdom.  PRAYER WORKS Ladies!  Prayer works MUCH BETTER than nagging does, any day of the week!!  🙂

These ladies on last nights conference call shared much wisdom with us.  After 30+ years of marriage, they still go out on dates.  They still hold hands.  He still opens the door for her.  He still puts his arm around her when they sit together.  They still laugh together.  They pray together.  They trust each other.   They both respect their husbands.

What can you do today, right now, to start showing your husband the respect and honor that he so strongly desires?  To feel like a real man?  I want to reiterate what Priscilla shared in this chapter on how you can start making the necessary changes to fulfill your husband….today:

• Start with just one day.  24 hours.
• REFUSE to allow yourself to correct him, or offer any unsolicited advice, or criticize his choices.
• Go to the restaurant HE wants.
• Let the kids wear the clothes HE picked out, even if they don’t match!!

Here a few of my own:

• Don’t criticize his driving.
• ASK for his opinion and then listen to it!
• Don’t put down his family in front of others.
• Don’t disrespect him at home, or in front of others; especially in front of the children!
• Have a good meal on the table when he gets home.
• Thank him for being a hard worker and taking care of the family financially.
• Thank him for being such a good dad.
• Tell him what a great lover he is.
• Tell him what a great husband he is.
• Tell him how handsome he is.
• Tell him you love him every single day.
• Kiss him hello and goodbye, every day.
• Tell him how proud you are to be his wife.

These are just few suggestions.  I know there are plenty of books and online sites that are great tools to use to find ways to encourage your husband.  Focus on the Family has some great articles on this subject!!  Take the time to look it up, and then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!  🙂  I know without a doubt your husband will appreciate it, and you will begin to see changes in him that are for the better! And that’s a promise!

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Let’s Pray:

Father, thank You so much for the husband You have given each one of us.  Help us to be the kind of wife that he needs every day.  Help us to be the perfect helpmeet that You created us to be.  In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!

Your Assignment:

In the comment section below, list 3 things that you LOVE about your husband, and then tonight when you are alone with him, tell him exactly what you have shared here.  I KNOW he will appreciate it!!

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After you have commented below, go back to our Online Bible Study Group on Facebook to see what our Daily Activity is. If you do not yet belong to our OBS Facebook group, and would like to, please send an email to: GirlfriendsCoffeeHour@gmail.com  

We’ll send you the details needed to get you into this group!

Don’t forget to stop by Craig’s blog to see what the guys are up to with The Resolution for Men.

www.adversusmundi.wordpress.com

Be blessed!