November 5, 2024

Winning Him Without Words: Weekly Review

December 14, 2012 by

 

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.  (Proverbs 22:6)

One Sunday morning many years ago, I stood staring out my kitchen window, contemplating on not going to church any longer with “just me and my two little girls.”

Three months had passed since we had moved from Atlanta to New Orleans. My husband had been offered a job opportunity he felt he couldn’t afford to turn down.  During the process of our lengthy talks about taking the job, I said to him:  “I’ll go with you anywhere you feel we need to go; it is just so hard for me to move with two little girls to a strange city and have to take them to church by myself.”

To which he replied, “I promise you if you will make this move with me, I will go to church with you and the girls.”  And with that hope, we made the move.

Oh yes, he went the first Sunday to help me find the church, and that was the end of that.  As a young mother I felt so betrayed.

So, on this Sunday morning as I was about to give this church-going up for good, I heard little children in my neighborhood playing out in the street.  It was then I prayed:  “Lord, if he never goes to church with me, I commit to you this morning that I will go alone if I have to; I can’t bear the thought of my children playing on the streets on Sunday morning and not in church.”

And with that, the three of us began our journey, and today both girls and their husbands hold ministry roles in their church and are raising their little ones for Jesus.

I realize it doesn’t always happen this way.  When children become of age, they make their own choices and sometimes stray from their Christian up-bringing. But, I would encourage every mother to make the effort to teach their kids about Jesus and take them to church, even if it she has to do it alone.  It has its rewards—I am blessed. 

On a side note, my husband gloats over his children and grandchildren.  He has been the best husband and father any man could be with the exception of that “missing link of having Jesus in his heart.”  But, as Lynn and Dineen point out:  “God makes everything beautiful in His time.”

As we come to the close of our study in Winning Him Without Words, let me say it has been a pleasure reviewing Beverly, Jennifer, Donna, and Sarah’s blogs for you, our readers, each week.  I know they have inspired you as much as they have me.  Let’s take one final look at what they had to say this week on:  What About the Kids. 

 

Weekly Review

 

Monday:  Where to Start?  Before answering that question, Beverly talks about the thoughts most women have in a spiritually unequally yoked marriage, as Beverly was.

  • Am I doing things right
  • Am I teaching them the truth
  • Will they accept Jesus as Savior one day
  • Will they learn to be a prayer warrior
  • Will they love Jesus
  • Will they wake each morning with a desire to live every moment for Him
  • Will they seek a godly mate for their life
  • Will they love God’s Word and want to spend time getting to know Him

As most mothers, Beverly had thoughts on whether her children would continue living out their Christian foundation after her children were grown and left home.

But, even with these consuming thoughts, Beverly agrees with the answer in our book on page 170 of Where to Start:   “Help our love for Jesus be so contagious it can’t help but rub off on our loved ones and when our kids see us loving God in this way, they will love Him too!”

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Tuesday:  Teachable Moments:  Jennifer brought us to the reality of three main points we must consider if we are to have teachable moments with the children God has placed in our lives.

  1. There are limited moments in our daily lives. We only have 1,440 minutes every single day.
  2. Be ready for these moments.
  3. Create those moments if they are not spontaneously popping up on their own.

Jennifer challenged us to be alert to the teachable moments that will come into your life be it your own children, grandchildren, nieces/ nephews, cousins, etc. Pray that the Lord will open your eyes and your heart to these moments. Seek Him for how to respond; in all situations.  Show love and grace.

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Wednesday:  Start When They are Young:  Donna certainly believes in starting young in teaching and training children for the Lord as she did with her own children.

For starters, she:

  • Prayed before they were conceived.
  • prayed for them during pregnancy.
  •  prayed after they were born that she’d have wisdom to know them like God did and know how to raise them for His purposes.

After her children were born she:

  • taught them to pray at early age
  • no TV was allowed; only Christian radio
  • videos taught God’s word in song
  • read children’s book on their Bible heroes
  • prayed with them for healing of cuts and bruises

Donna knew she was to start out showing them Jesus as soon as they were born.  In addition she knew that her own faith should be lived out in every aspect of her life, every day before her kids.

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Thursday:  As They Grow:  Sarah points to us as parents the spiritual influence, positive or negative, we have on our children as they grow.

Because of some issues she and her believing husband had in choosing a church home, they did not attend church for a year. Her main concern during this time was how this was affecting her girls, ages 11 and 13.

I personally found the prayer Sarah offered at the end of her blog should be the prayer of all of us who desire to be a Godly influence on children as they grow.  Dear Lord, we want to make sure they continue to want to worship You, learn more about You and grow closer to You every day. This is a crazy world we live in, with many negative outside influences that are hard to keep away from our children. Help us in this effort Lord, to keep their eyes focused on You.

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Let’s Pray:   Father God, you have given us a precious gift – -children.  Help us all as parents, grandparents, children church leaders, aunts, uncles – -not let a teachable moment pass us by.  Give us wisdom to guide the children you have placed in our lives.  Above all, may these little ones love you with all their hearts, and live their lives according to what you have created them to be.

Your assignment:  Tell a child today that you love them.

If you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, and would like to have someone pray with you, please email us at Prayer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com. and one of our prayer team members will contact you.

Have a blessed day,
Martha

*****We would LOVE to have your feedback on this study! Will you take a few minutes to complete the following survey? Your responses will help us create the best online bible study experience for you! CLICK THIS LINK to fill out the short 10 question form. Your responses are completely anonymous, I promise!! Thank you so much!*****

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Our next Women’s Online Bible Study

“Crazy Love” by Francis Chan

Begins January 6, 2013.

To sign up for this new Online Bible Study, click the link HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to learning about this “Crazy Love” with you!!

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Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

*****

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Winning Him Without Words: Motivated By Agape Love – Crossing a Threshold

December 4, 2012 by

Motivated By Agape Love

I want to piggyback on the last paragraph of Sarah’s section from yesterday. It flows right into my section today. Let’s read it again:

John kept his eyes on Jesus. He knew it wasn’t about him but about the mighty God he served. And that’s where we find inspiration. John’s story wasn’t about him; it was about Jesus. Just as our story isn’t about us; it’s about preparing the way for Jesus in the life of our husband (pg. 152, emphasis mine).

Jesus calls us to live out agape love toward our spouse. Agape love is a selfless, sacrificial, unconditional form of love. Agape is the love that Christ has for each one of us. Agape love is based upon a decision, not a feeling. When you live out agape love, you choose to love, despite the fact that you have been hurt. You choose to overlook the ways your spouse has slighted you. You choose to forgive your spouse for the way he has hurt you.

You choose to do all of this because Christ has done this for you. You choose to do this to honor God. You choose to love your spouse without expectation. You choose to love despite the cost.

Jesus loves every single one of us this way. Even Peter, who denied Jesus three times, was able to redeem himself in John 21:15-17 by choosing Jesus three times. If you really stop and think about that, it is pretty incredible. We will make mistakes, sometimes big ones, but Jesus still has agape love for us. We can honor Him by choosing to live out agape love toward the one we have pledged to spend our lives with.

But, you make the choice to love this way. Once you do, Jesus supplies the ability. Because we absolutely cannot do this of our own will. It is impossible. We are only able to love this way because of Christ working in us. The question is: Can you sacrifice your own needs, wants, and desires and truly love your husband with an agape form of love that is not based on anything other than choosing to love him like Christ loves you?

Crossing a Threshold

What are you willing to risk for your unbelieving husband to know Jesus? (pg. 156)

Have you ever prayed the most dangerous prayer? I have. But, I’ll admit the truth to you all since I have from the beginning of this study. I wanted this prayer answered in my way. I was not prepared for anything bad or negative to happen. I was not prepared to risk anything for my husband to know Jesus. I prayed the prayer believing that the Lord would put some things in my husband’s life and then his eyes would be opened. Ta-da! Magic. My hubby would fall to his feet and praise Jesus.

But, to really pray this prayer and sincerely mean it, we have to be loving our husbands with agape love.

The path of the spiritually mismatched is not an easy one. We must be willing to give up the life we have known and live the life that Christ wants us to live. This means sacrificing everything. Everything.

When we can finally do that, we allow God into those places that we have unintentionally closed off from Him. Those places that hurt and ache. He can fill those places and show us how to love the way He loves. Even if we have been hurt. Even if we have unforgiveness in our hearts. God cannot work in those places if we cannot open ourselves up and let Him in to change us.

Are you ready to cross that threshold?

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Let’s Pray: Father, please reveal any areas of my life that I have unintentionally closed off from you. Help me to confront these issues today, Lord, and to release each one of them to you. I choose today to let you in to those dark, hurtful places. Please give me peace and a supernatural strength as I hand over each one of these issues to you and trust completely in your unfailing love and grace. Teach me how to begin loving my husband with an agape love, the way that you love us, Lord. In Jesus precious and holy name I pray, Amen!

Your Assignment: Pray and ask the Lord to show you what areas of your life you are holding back from him; what is holding you back from loving your husband with an agape love. Release these things to Jesus. Let Him in to those places that you have closed off; the places where you hurt and ache; the places where you hold onto unmet expectations. Let today mark a turning point in your relationship with the Lord and with your husband. Leave a comment below and let me know what you think of these sections in our book. What insights did you glean? What did you learn?

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Our next Women’s Online Bible Study “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan, begins January 6, 2013. To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to learning about this “Crazy Love” with you!!  

We would LOVE to have your feedback on this study! Will you take a few minutes to complete the following survey? Your responses will help us create the best online bible study experience for you! CLICK THIS LINK to fill out the short 10 question form. Your responses are completely anonymous, I promise!! Thank you so much!

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Winning Him Without Words: Weekly Review

November 30, 2012 by

Picture this scene:

God:  I have called you to the Mission Field.

Woman:  Praise the Lord!  I’ve always desired to go into the jungles of Africa and preach your word.

God:  I have not called you to “go and preach” my Word in Africa or any other part of the world.  I have called you to “stay and show” my love to your un-saved husband.  You might say I have called you to be a home missionary.”

Woman:  Okay, God, if you insist.  But, where do I go to for training?  My church sends missionaries to school for training before sending them into the field.  And, not that I am hung up on money, but the church even gives them financial support.

God:  May I  break it to you gently:  You won’t be getting either of those.

Woman:  What do I get?

God:  Quite simply – –  the best of ME.  As a missionary wife, you are my personal ambassador, and you will receive the best training and equipment any soldier ever had going into battle. You see, a soul is at stake, but my armor is your shield of protection against all attacks, and you will come through each battle in victory and not defeat.

As for the financial support – -your reward shall be great.  Just like Esther, you have been brought into the Kingdom for such a time as this.

Woman:  I want to know more about this armor.

Weekly Review

Monday:  Beverly – Keep Your Armor On—You’re at War– -Beverly points out that when we get up each morning we are entering a battlefield

She directs us to Ephesians 6:12-17 that describes who the battle is with and what to do about it.

  1. Who?  For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers and the powers and the principalities of the air.

  2. What to do?  Put the armor on the whole armor of God and stand.

Beverly points to the fact that our strength for the front line of  battle comes from our commander, God.  It is God who also provides our armor to wear in order to go into the battle with strength.

She challenges us to wake up each morning, prepare your heart, put on your armor, and stand ready and prepared to help lead your man to the commander by your example

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The question is: “What are the pieces of this armor that God tells us to use?” Jennifer, Donna, and Sarah describes each of the pieces.

Tuesday:  Jennifer

  1. The Belt of Truth – – The enemy will try to deceive us by telling us lies disguised as truth. We can stand firm against Satan’s sneaky attacks by having the Belt of Truth around our waists. With God’s Truth, we can rebuke the devil’s lies, schemes, and manipulations. We can turn to Jesus, who is Truth, when the devil tries to deceive us.

  1. The Breastplate of Righteousness – – Satan wants to attack us where we are most vulnerable – -in the heart where our emotions and sense of self-worth stem from. Protect your heart with the Breastplate of Righteousness which will never cause you to doubt God’s unending love for you and offer a barrier from despair and discouragement that Satan will try to use against you.

  1. The Shoes of the Gospel of Peace – – Our foundation is Jesus Christ and the Good News of His saving grace. The shoes that God fits us with will allow us to move when the time is right to share this Good News with others.

  1. The Shield of Faith – -God’s Shield of Faith will enable us to see past our current circumstances and difficulties to our ultimate victory.

Wednesday:  Donna

  1. Helmet of Salvation

  2. Sword of the Spirit

Our thoughts can be a real battle. A thought creeps in, and one thought leads to another, invading our mind, which leads to a pity party! Why am I in this marriage with an unsaved husband? Why do I have to be Christ’s representative to this man? I’m not equipped to handle this! I’m not spiritual enough, I’m not good enough!

The Helmet of Salvation and The Sword of the Spirit, God’s Word, is our protection against these doubts and lies that enter our minds.

Donna challenged us to think of our Bible heroes as our examples. When Daniel was told he must bow, he followed his God and put on his armor and went into the battle equipped.  Esther fasted and prayed and said “if I perish, I perish”  The ULTIMATE sacrifice was Christ when he went to the cross.  He went into the garden to pray first and put on his armor. He told the Father, “not my will but yours be done” then he followed through with the plan of Salvation for us all!

Thursday:  Sarah  concluded the chapter with points on Basic Training

  1. When someone questions your faith, your beliefs, or your God; you need to be ready to give a logical answer that explains the hope and love you exude for Christ. BUT…you have to do it in a courteous and respectful way without yelling and degrading them.

  2. It is so important to arm yourself with the Word.

  3. Dig deeper than what you hear in church or from your most knowledgeable Christian friend. Educate yourself on what is said between the pages of the good book.

  4. The mission God has given you is to spread His message of love, hope and faith. To complete this mission, it is important to know scriptures and the meanings behind them. Then, once you have sharpened your sword with the Word, you are then able to present His Word logically and courteously.

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In conclusion, I’d like to review the assignments that each blogger gave us this week. May we see them as a way of judging ourselves in order to be better equipped for the call God has on our life – -Missionary Wife.

  1. Beverly:  Have you recognized any attacks from the enemy in your marriages lately? How did you take a “stand” against the enemy?  What have you learned new that God has shown you from studying this chapter that will be of help in future attacks against the enemy?

  2. Jennifer:  Which piece of the armor do you have the most difficulty wearing? Which piece is the easiest for you?

  3. Donna:  What is holding you back from putting on the armor everyday?

  4. Sarah:  Share your life verse – -the one that you read and almost felt the earth shake when you were finished!

Friday: Discovery/Prayer – Father, God, I thank you for what you have taught us this week about your armor through Winning Him Without Words, as well as personal thoughts of Beverly, Jennifer, Donna, and Sarah.  Help us to make it a part of our daily routine of putting it on as we began our day.  In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

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For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Above all, if you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, and would like to have someone pray with you, please email us at GCH_Prayer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com and one of our prayer team members will contact you.

Have a blessed day,

Martha

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Winning Him Without Words: A Transformed Life

November 13, 2012 by

Don’t copy the behaviors and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then  you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12:2, NLT)

We all have certain ways of acting and reacting to situations and events in our lives. This is especially true with our husbands. A simple forgotten errand or a refusal to help with household chores could start World War III in our homes. Maybe you have experienced this – the hurt, the pain, the resentment, the bitterness, the anger. It eats away at you. And when these emotions take root inside, instead of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and goodness, the Lord cannot do His work in you. He cannot transform you.

Jesus is a gentleman. He is not going to force His way into any part your life. If you want to live with the negative emotions, you can. But, He does not want you to live there. He wants you to live an abundant life in your marriage. He wants you to have a beautiful, loving marriage, just as He intended back in the Garden. He wants that for you so very much.

But, my dear sweet friends, He cannot help you if you do not let Him.

Transform, Transformed (v) – to change the outward appearance of; to change in character or condition.

Letting Jesus in to begin transforming your marriage means that He is going to start by transforming YOU, not your husband. That is not an easy thing to swallow. There are not too many of us that enjoy change. It is difficult and scary. And this type of change is made more challenging because it will cause us to look at how we are acting and reacting to the situations and events in our lives and in our marriages. It will shape us and refine us and strip us of what we are desperately holding onto (remember those negative emotions?). This change will cause us to look at our daily battles in a new light.

And this change means loving our husbands with the unconditional love that Jesus pours out on us.

I know some of you may be reading this and thinking that you cannot get past the hurt, anger, or resentment that have been building up for years. I just want to tell you, and this goes for whether your husband is a believer or unbeliever, God can change your marriage. HE CAN. But it starts with YOU. It starts with you laying down all of the hurt at the feet of Jesus and asking Him to take over. Ask Him to show you what you can do. He will convict your heart through the Holy Spirit. He will teach you and mold you and shape you into the woman He designed you to be.

The question is: Are you ready to let Him do it?

Let the transformed life (and marriage) begin!

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Let’s Pray:

Father, today, right now I (insert your name) give my marriage over to you. I believe that You can transform me and my marriage into something amazing Lord and I trust you with all of it. Please give me a sense of peace and security as I begin this journey with you, Lord. Burn away anything that is not of You and fill me up completely with your Holy Spirit. Convict me of anything that is not pleasing in your sight. Show me how love my husband the way You love him, Lord, with an unconditional love. Provide me with strength and courage in Jesus name, Amen!

Your Assignment:

Taking the step to begin living a transformed life is not easy. It means doing everything differently. Did you pray that prayer and invite Jesus in to transform your marriage? How do you feel? Do you feel a change can happen? Comment below and tell me your thoughts. Then come over to the Secret Facebook group and let’s dig a little deeper into how we can transform our lives in a practical way.

Many Blessings on your day,

Jennifer

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: “The Call to Obedience” – “God’s Plan for Your Marriage”

October 30, 2012 by

 

What God requires of all covenant relationships, including marriages, is that He be at the center. Whether your husband believes this or not doesn’t matter.  —  Dineen Miller, pg. 85

I cringed a bit when I opened my book and saw that I was writing on obedience this week. I’m sure the Lord got a good laugh at my expense! Obedience is not something that comes naturally to me. In fact, it is downright hard sometimes to live in full obedience to God. The earthly world is constantly pulling me this way and that, making me question my every decision. It is in these times that it becomes even more crucial to draw near to God and to live and breathe the pages of His Word.

But, how do we, as believers, live in obedience to the Lord in a spiritually unequal marriage?

Let me answer that question with another question.

How would your relationship with the Lord be different if you were in a spiritually equal marriage?

I want you to stop reading and really think about that question. Would your relationship with Jesus be different if your spouse were saved?

Mine would. I mean, I could actively live out my faith with my husband. I could talk openly about it. We could pray together. We could read Bible passages together. We could go to church together. It would be amazing!!

Right?!

Right?!?!

Well, let us look back at the question I asked. Would YOUR relationship with Jesus be different if your spouse were saved?

What defines your relationship with Jesus? Is it defined by whether or not your spouse comes to faith? Is it defined by you being able to pray with your spouse or being able to read Bible passages together? Is it defined by going to church with your spouse…or not? Why does my (or your) relationship with our mighty Savior depend on the actions (or inactions) of another sinful, imperfect human?

Dear friends . . . God can only work in your life and in your marriage if you let Him. If you do not let Him in to those dark, secret, hurtful places, things will not change. He wants more than anything in the entire world for you and your husband to have a loving, thriving marriage. And, I’m here to tell you that you can have that. If you let God in. If you let God have control. If you are obedient to what God wants you to do. I am not saying it will be easy, but it will be worth it. And you can do it with an unbelieving spouse by your side. Jesus tells us in His Word that there is one great commandment, which is:

“Master, which is the great commandment in the law?” Jesus said unto him, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.” (Matthew 22:36-40, KJV)

It does not say that we should love God only if our expectations of Him are met first.

It does not say that we should be obedient to God only if he meets our needs first.

God wants our love. He wants to be at the center of our lives.

He wants to be at the center of our marriages, whether our husband believes in Him or not. Since WE believe, WE bring Jesus into our marriage. And that, my dear friends, is powerful. Soak that it. Rest in that truth. Whether you see God in your marriage right now or not, I promise you HE IS THERE and HE IS WORKING.

I had to rely on God to rebuild my marriage according to His design, not my expectations.  —  Dineen Miller, pg. 87

So, if you are struggling in your marriage today, give God the reins. Ask God to show you how to be obedient to Him, when the world is telling you otherwise. Let God transform your marriage. He is able. The question is – Do you believe it?

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Let’s Pray: Father God, we sit at your feet in awe of who you are and just the depth of love that you have for each one of us. Father, please draw near to each person reading this blog today and help them grow in their relationship with you, regardless of where their spouse is spiritually. We know that you want our spouses saved even more than we do, Father. Just help us grow in our walk with you each and every day and not focus on what we do not have. We know you are able to accomplish mighty things, Lord, and we trust you to see that work through to completion. Open our ears, hearts, and minds to hear from you today and show us how to live obediently in Your Presence. In the mighty name of Jesus I pray, Amen!!!!!

Your Assignment: Write out your own prayer below asking God to help you be obedient to Him amidst any turmoil that may be surrounding you in your marriage. Let’s pray over one another today and for all of the marriages in need. Then head over to the secret Facebook group and let’s talk some more about obedience to the Lord.

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

*****

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