November 5, 2024

Captivating: Chapter 10 – “To Mother” – “My Sister, My Friend” (pgs 176-181)

So, if you don’t already know, I’m single.  I’ve never been married, and I don’t have any children.  Furthermore, if you know me at all, you know that little kids fascinate me.  I’m one of those creepy people who will stare at your kids just because they always put a smile on my face.  Nothing brings me more joy than when I wave to a little baby and get a great big smile in return.  Children are life in its most simple, pure, and innocent form.

Deep down, beyond all the outward fascination, I struggle with jealousy.  Oftentimes, I watch a mother take her toddler’s hand to “go find a book to read before bed tonight,” and I get jealous.  I want that.  I want to take a little mini-me and read bedtime stories to her.  I want to watch my son play baseball or score his first goal playing soccer.  I want to get lost in an imaginary world, dress up like a superhero and fly around my living room with my little ones. I want to listen as they try to pronounce words like “popsicle” and “spaghetti.” I want to snuggle with my baby as she falls asleep in my arms.  I want to mother.

When I find the jealousy creeping in, I have to turn it over to God.  He’s faithful, He knows these desires of mine, and I know He will give them to me in His time.  And when it is my turn to mother, I want to encourage my children to live a life from their heart, as our authors state.  I want to encourage them to be the person God has created them to be—nothing more, nothing less.

But, even if you don’t have children of your own, you do have opportunities to mother not only other people’s children, but other people in general.  All you have to do is care about someone, offer a listening ear to that person, and encourage him or her to simply be who God created them to be.  Let the following passage from Philippians resonate in your hearts:

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”  Phillipians 2:1-4 ESV

Count others more significant than yourself? Really? I mean, who does that?

Mothers. Mothers do that.  Or, at least they should do that.  If you haven’t had a mother who sacrificed and loved you the way she should have, I’m sorry.  But there is Someone who has filled her role. There is Someone who counts you more than He counts Himself.  There’s Someone who died to save you from your sin so that you can live forever with Him in Heaven.  That Person is Jesus, and He loves you unconditionally.  I love this quote by Jerry Bridges, a notable Christian author.  It reminds me of a mother’s love for her children:

“God’s unfailing love for us is an objective fact affirmed over and over in the Scriptures. It is true whether we believe it or not. Our doubts do not destroy God’s love, nor does our faith create it. It originates in the very nature of God, who is love, and it flows to us through our union with His beloved Son.” — Jerry Bridges, Christian author

Right in suit with caring more about others than yourself falls our friendships with other women.  Do you have those? How are they? Can you think of a girlfriend who you know would be there for you if you needed someone to talk to, cry to, receive godly advice from, or just goof around with? If you don’t have a friend like that, I encourage you to seek one.  My mother told me that when I was a toddler, she didn’t have many girlfriends.  When I entered preschool, she had been praying for a good friend to come into her life.  God was faithful! Through a fun course of events, He placed another family into my family’s life, and our friendship continues to this day.  Not only did we gain a friendship, but this family led my family closer to God.  Our faith was strengthened through that friendship.

Do you have a friend who causes your relationship with God to deepen?  Does she encourage you to grow and walk closer with Him daily?  If not, I pray you seek, invest, and spend time with godly women in your church, Bible study, or even with this group online!  Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that “iron sharpens iron.”  Do you have an “iron” friend in your life? Friendship with like-minded women is crucial to your spiritual growth, and I’ve seen it create accountability and a safe place in my own life.  If you already have your “iron” friend or two, then don’t forget to nurture those friendships with love and attention.

Praise Him!

Carissa

 

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Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father, thank You for our innate desires to mother, care for, and encourage those in our lives.  I pray that we will apply these desires in the lives of our children, future families, marriage, friendships, and even acquaintances.  I pray that Your love that dwells in each of us will overflow to those around us.  Father, thank You for the gift of girlfriends and friendships.  Lord, I pray that our friendships will grow as we all seek to know You and serve You better each and every day.  In your Holy Name we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:

Do you like kids as much as I do? I can’t be the only creeper out there! What does your heart desire with regard to children and a family?  Do you feel the desire to “mother” as our authors discuss?   In the past, what has held you back from forming friendships with other women? How do you plan on changing that for the future?

 

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GWS

Our next Women’s Online Bible/Book study begins March 24th.  

To sign up for this amazing study, click on the picture above, complete the registration form, and we will email you further details.   

We hope you will join us.

Lady in Waiting: Take the Radical Route

 

“Does it seem too unrealistic for today’s woman to set her sights on a knight in shining armor?…A single friend (a modern Ruth) wrote a letter in which she admitted that her high ideals often made her feel like the “Lone Ranger.” She said, “So often I meet women who don’t want to go the deeper, more radical route of separation from our culture in seeking after God’s standards.” Do we lower our standards because we seem out of step with all our peers? Does the woman in Proverbs 31 seem obsolete? Maybe for the “cosmopolitan” woman she is obsolete, but not for the Lady of Conviction. God has the best in hand for those who seek Him.

Ruth’s choice to wait for God’s best resulted in her union with a Boaz rather than a Bozo. Ruth not only married a man who was a “pillar of strength” (Boaz), but she also was blessed by the privilege of bearing a son (Obed) who would be part of the lineage of Jesus Christ. Ruth’s wise choices resulted in her experiencing God’s overwhelming goodness.

During this study, we have talked a lot about our convictions, setting standards that honor both God and our princess status, as well as sticking to those standards despite the condition of the world around us. If we live radically in our convictions, then we should expect opposition. Have you experienced any opposition from friends or family so far? What have they said? More importantly, how have you responded?

Let’s Pray

Father, we thank You for instilling Your Spirit in us, the One who convicts our hearts and draws us closer to Yours. Lord, You promise to uphold us as we follow You. So, Father, we want to hold You to Your promise and ask that You give us the strength to stand firm in our convictions when criticism, doubt, and peer pressure arise. Father, we can do nothing apart from You. Be with us always. We love You, Jesus. In your precious name we pray, Amen.


Our Next Single Women’s Online Bible Study

“Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul”

by John & Stasi Eldredge 

begins January 6, 2013

To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to studying “Captivating” with you!!

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 8 / Day 5 – You Can Enjoy Being Single

 

Growing up in the South, it meant that teenage girls were supposed to have a boyfriend and be ready for marriage by the time you were out of high school. If you didn’t then you were expected to find a job and maybe find a future husband there or at college, if you could afford to go. That was a lot of pressure for a young woman, who may not have the self confidence she needs to be in a healthy relationship.

Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians said it is better for you to be single, so you could be about the Lord’s work, than if you were married, because being married would be a distraction. So by reading 1 Corinthians 7:32 would you say that you could still serve the Lord if you were dating someone? I know it would be hard, unless he was as dedicated to serving as you would be.

Waiting for God’s best may not be easy, but it is so worth it. He may not want you to be married. He may want you to be a missionary that travels around the world telling others of His love for them.  He may want you to get married in your forties. Whatever God’s plan is for you life, make sure you are praying for clarity and not what you want. Ask him to give you a peace and comfort while you kneel before our heavenly Father and give him your heart and let him bring you his best.

Let’s pray,

Father, I want to do my best is serving you. Show me how I need to do this in order to bring blessings and honor to my life and glory to yours. Thank you for what you do for us. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Lady in Waiting: Lady of Diligence, No Time to Waste and Free to Follow

LADY OF DILIGENCE – The perfect time to make the most of every opportunity is while you are single.

“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” Ephesians 5:15-17 (NIV)

Before I got married, I used to wonder why the young married ladies of our church stopped being active in church after they said I do.   We discussed this at one of Singles Ministry meetings because it puzzled us.  How come the gifted lead singer in the choir with a beautiful Soprano could no longer usher in the presence of the Lord during the worship service?  That beautiful voice was now seated quietly in the pew opposite her husband.

I got that answer when I got married.  I realized that my time was not mine alone.  I had to consider that my husband’s needs came before my own.  I could no longer just come home, change clothes and leave for an evening meeting.  There was dinner and other things to be prepared.  Most of ministry meetings took place in the evenings and since I was at work all day, I could not be out in the evening as well.

“God has called me to live now. He wants me to realize my full potential as a man right now, to be thankful about where I am, and to enjoy it to the fullest. I have a strange feeling that the single person who is always wishing he were married will probably get married, discover all that is involved, and wish he were single again! He will ask himself, ‘Why didn’t I use that time for the Lord when I didn’t have so many other obligations? Why didn’t I give myself totally to Him when I was single?’ ”

John Fischer could easily have written the above with me in mind because as a single woman, I was so zealous for the Lord.  I grabbed every opportunity that came my way to reach out to others.  I was out of the house on Monday for Youth Meeting, Tuesday for Bible Study, Wednesday was mid-week service, Thursdays, we had Singles Ministry meetings, Friday evenings and Saturday were mine to have girlfriends over for  slumber parties, watch movies and talk all night.   Housework was also thrown in the mix.  Sunday was a day spent at church starting with teaching Sunday school, ushering in church during the main service and in the evening, community outreach.  You must be rolling your eyes just by reading this schedule but I enjoyed doing this so much.  No out of boredom but because the time was just perfect for me.

Now, to adjust all this to married life and staying at home in the evening really took some doing.  It’s a topic on its own!  I asked my husband for at least two evenings.  But overtime even the two evenings were too much until I settled for just Sundays.

“The single woman can be involved in the Lord’s work on a level that a married woman cannot because of the distractions and responsibilities of being a wife and mother. Ironically, some single women can be so distressed by their single state that they become emotionally more distracted than a wife and mother of four children.  Page 26.

It’s so easy to judge when you are seating on the other side of the table.  But when you get there you tend to appreciate things more.  I always admire a mother with children who are under 5.  To get them prepared and be on time for any activity is really work.  While I only need 45 minutes to get ready, she needs at least 2 hours or more!

Let’s end today by thinking about what Jackie and Debbie asked us.

Are you busy serving Jesus during your free time, or do you waste hours trying to pursue and snag an available guy? Ruth was a widow, but she did not use her time sponsoring pity parties for all unhappy single women to gather and compare the misery of datelessness. When she and Naomi moved back to Bethlehem, Ruth did not waste a moment feeling sorry for herself. She went right to work. Instead of being drained by her discouraging circumstances, she took advantage of them and diligently embraced each day. Page 27.

I don’t know about you but I am challenged by Ruth not to waste time anymore.  You have all the freedom to follow Christ wherever He may lead you.  I still dream of visiting India one day for missionary work!

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LET’S PRAY

Father I thank you for challenging us through the life of Ruth who did not waste time feeling sorry for herself as a widow but she did her work diligently.  Lord help us to open our eyes and see that the harvest is plenty but the laborers are few.  May we seize the opportunities that come our way so that we may joyfully serve you.   In Jesus Name. Amen.

 

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Life is so full of traumatic situations.  Single ladies have their share of such situations.  In the comment below let’s discuss the following:

 

  1. Has someone disappointed you in the past that you feel like you cannot fully serve the Lord in any way?

  2. Have you put your life on hold and you are using this as an excuse for not serving Jesus?

 

If you would like to take part in our Online Bible Study and Facebook Discussion Group, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button located at the top of our website, in the Menu Bar.  Once we receive your request, we will add you to our group!

 

Be Blessed,

Jackie