December 23, 2024

2014 – Three Things

January 1, 2015 by

SeekingHimLogo

If God is for us, who can ever be against us?
Romans 8:31b NLT

As I look back over the past year, there are three things God has shown me that have changed my perspective and my faith:

  • Yes, but…
  • Lay Me Down
  • Pocket Prayer

Yes, but…

Those two words have made such a big difference in my life.  When satan tries to bring up the past, reminding me of my failures or stirs up feelings of guilt, regret, or condemnation “yes, but…” stops him in his tracks.  “Yes, but…look how far God has brought me.”  “Yes, but…look what God has done.”  According to the Scriptures:

He who believes in Him [who clings to, trusts in, relies on Him] is not judged
[he who trusts in Him never comes up for judgment;
for him there is no rejection, no condemnation—he incurs no damnation];
John 3:18a AMP

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:1 NLT

Satan despises those two words—”Yes, but….”  That simple phrase keeps me from getting caught up in the enemy’s trap and shifts my focus. Those two little words give me the opportunity to praise God for all He has done in my life.

Lay Me Down

Too often I get in God’s way.  I run ahead of His plan.  I forget to seek His will.  One night in church we sang ‘Lay Me Down’ by Chris Tomlin.  The words of the chorus resonated deep within me.

“I lay me down I’m not my own
I belong to You alone
Lay me down, lay me down
Hand on my heart this much is true
There’s no life apart from You
Lay me down, lay me down
Lay me down, lay me down”

In John 13:38a (NIV) Jesus asks: “Will you really lay down your life for me?”  I must let go of my pride—I have to give up my rights—if I truly want His light to shine through my life.

Pocket Prayer

I just finished this Max Lucado study.  It answered so many questions I had regarding prayer.  It completely changed my prayer life.  The idea behind it is simple (because prayer should be simple). The basic outline goes like this:

“Father, You are good.
I need help. Heal me and forgive me.
They need help.
Thank You.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.“

Simple, right?  Then I embellish it in the areas I need to pray about.  Funny, sometimes I get so caught up in the ‘You are good…’ and thanking Him that I forget to pray the rest.  And that’s ok.  After all, prayer is just a conversation with God.  If I am all out of words…beyond words…incapable of words, then I just pray this and the Holy Spirit takes it from there.  As Romans 8:26-27 (NASB) tells us:

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness;
for we do not know how to pray as we should,
but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;
and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is,
because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

It is so freeing when I don’t have to worry about saying the right words or praying the perfect prayer.  As Max says “Intercessory prayer isn’t rocket science.  It acknowledges our inability and God’s ability.”  God’s ultimate Will is inflexible but we can alter His strategy with our appeals and intercession.  Hallelujah!

(click here to find the Pocket Prayer Challenge.  And here for the Before Amen book.)

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I love Christian worship music.  Many, many songs have touched me this year.  But today, let me leave you with just one that speaks volumes about my life.  For no matter where I find myself in this life, His great grace always finds me.

Singer/Songwriter: Matt Redman along with Jonas Myrin

Filed Under: Seeking Him Daily Devotional Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Move In Me (Redux)

December 31, 2014 by

psalmshymnsspiritualsongskjv

Redux means to revisit, bring back, re-release.  This last week of 2014, we—the bloggers here at Girlfriends Coffee Hour—are each ‘revisiting’ a blog we wrote earlier this year.  We would love to share with you just a bit about how very good God has been to us!  He has given us all so much grace and mercy, blessings and provision, protection and guidance!  He has led us and taught us through His Holy Spirit so many incredible things!  He has molded, and chastised, and encouraged us to be daughters with humble hearts who are dependent upon Him.  And He has helped us to be strong, committed, and faithful women who love Him and desire to bring Him much honor and glory and majesty.  We pray that our words would encourage you also…and draw You deeper into relationship with the One Who loves you so!  Please listen to the words of my friend, Kim….

❦

This week at GCH the bloggers were asked to go back and give thoughts, insight, and growth from a previously written blog. As I was pondering which songblog to revisit…this one kept popping in my head. I wrote this blog almost a year ago; it is amazing to go back and see where you have come from and what trials have come your way and where you have grown! Growth in all things is the goal.

I have grown HUGELY since I wrote this blog and, oh boy, as I reflect on 2014 I have had MANY opportunities to practice not being moved no matter what comes my way. God wants us to be solid in our faith—not to be tossed to and fro like the sea when difficult times come. I have encountered some BIG trials this past year and many of which I was not prepared for. It was as if the rug had been pulled out from underneath me…I never saw them coming. However this I have learned and this I know: my God has been faithful in each and everyone of them! And the best part is that, after the dust cleared, I am still standing and I have been strengthened in the process. Strength comes from the journey….

What shall we then say to these things?
If God be for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:31

God’s timing is always perfect!  To be able to go back to this blog now and have the reminder of how God wants us to be—”steadfast, constant and consistent, keeping on in the faith walk, not wavering to the left or to the right, keeping on the love line“—is exactly what I needed to remember!  (Maybe you do, too….)

Father, thank You for our growth opportunities.  May we do them well as we focus on you.  In Jesus’ name. AMEN.

❦

The man I buried had a heart of stone
Left him there in the bright light, out on a dirty road
The day You saved me from shadow and shame
Old things gone, got a new song, got a new name

Burnin’ like the wildfire, kickin’ up flames
A brand new band in the wasteland singing about Grace
Gonna jump the fences ’til the world is free
But I won’t make a move ’til You move in me

I’m knocking on doors, You’re keeping the keys
Maybe they’ll open, maybe they’re not for me
I’m setting the sails, You ready the seas
But I won’t make a move ’til You move in me

Gonna sing a little louder, gonna rattle these chains
Locked up tight ’round midnight, won’t stay that way
Gonna bless this dirt floor, gonna kiss these walls
Singing Your praise ’til the earth shakes and watching them fall

~ performed by: Jeremy Camp;  written by: Nichole Nordeman/Bernie Herms ~

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“Old thing’s gone, got a new song, got a new name. The day you saved me from shadow and shame….” It’s my story.  Is it your story too?   I love this song…it speaks to me in many ways.

But this morning the Lord has given me a new perspective. “I don’t want to make a move until you move in me….”  How many times I have been impatient with things and have taken control of my circumstances and tried to work them out myself. Instead of waiting for God’s leading and direction in making a move.  How many times have I taken control only to exhaust myself and end up in the same place that I started.  When I have made a choice to do this and ended up at the foot of the Cross weary, worn, and completely depleted.

God gave me a visual of Jesus standing there, waiting, as I run myself ragged trying to fix things instead of resting and trusting in Him.  Then as I fall to His feet, exhausted and defeated, He gently extends His hand and helps me up and says, “Are you ready to trust Me and let Me handle things???”

We want a quick fix, don’t we?  We want answers now.  But it is all in God’s timing and not ours!   Steadfast, constant and consistent, keeping on in the faith walk, not wavering to the left or to the right, keeping on the love line.

Listen to this: “We are to consider it wholly joyful when we encounter trials (temptations to get off faith), because the trial OF OUR FAITH (it’s our faith being tried not us) produces patience, constant consistency, resolute steadfastness.  As we let patience have its work (we yield to constant consistency, not looking to the left or to the right), so that we may be perfect (complete) lacking nothing.” Isn’t that a wonderful viewpoint on James 1:2-4.  Love that!

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Oh, Father, forgive me for when I have made the choice to move instead of trusting You to move in me. May I make the choice today to not make a move until I know that I know You are moving in me. Father, won’t You move in me…. In Jesus’ Name, I pray. Amen.

Filed Under: Psalms Hymns and Spiritual Songs Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

You Make Me Brave

November 9, 2014 by

psalmshymnsspiritualsongskjv

The greatness of Your renown
I have heard of the majesty and wonder of You
King of Heaven in humility, I bow

As Your love
In wave after wave
Crashes over me, crashes over me
For You are for us
You are not against us
Champion of Heaven
You’ve made a way
For all to enter in

I have heard You call my name
I have heard the song of love that You sing
So, I will let You draw me out beyond the shore
Into Your grace, Your grace

You make me brave
You make me brave
You called me out beyond the shore
Into the waves

You make me brave
You make me brave
No fear can hinder now
The love that made a way

Singer/Songwriter: Amanda Cook along with Bethel Music

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Fear…the four letter word that hinders us from being and doing all the great things that God has planned for us.

In this world, there is nothing more important than spreading the love of Jesus to a lost and dying world.  To feed the hungry and shelter the poor and clothe the less fortunate.  A teenager is lying on a mattress right outside of a charity food pantry.  A man gives him all he has in his pocket.  The man notices that the boy is hiding something—his little 6 year old sister.  He is protecting her from the cold (and who knows what else).  That is no place for them to be.  We are the church which means we are Jesus’ hands and feet. Our first prayer when our eyes open should be this: “Empty me of me, fill me with You, and guide me to whoever needs You today.  Give me divine appointments.”  He will!

And what keeps us from praying this?  Fear. ‘ What will this person think if I offer them something?’  How many times have I not obeyed the nudges. God asks us to be brave. Just like in this song, we are asking, begging, Him to make us brave and call us out above all that is going on in our world.  For God is for us!

What, then, shall we say in response to these things?
If God is for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:31

When Jesus left this world to ascend into Heaven, He said to His disciples that it was gong to be better for them if He would leave and the Holy Spirit would come (John 16).  Wow!  The Holy Spirit is available to all of us even at the same time!  He is there when someone asks a hard question about faith, and to answer when we need wisdom.  He is there when you can’t decide whether to take a certain  step or go a certain way in your life.  We are given all the power that Jesus had through the Spirit of God.  We just have to step out and have courage and be brave.

You can trust Him and His heart for you is full of love. His promises are always fulfilled.   He has made a way in this hard world for us to walk through with confidence, knowing that He has already been there and it is safe.

What is He calling you to do?  This week, be aware of the nudges that He gives you. Maybe it is to tell someone in the grocery store that Jesus loves them and He hasn’t forgotten them.  Or maybe you will be called on to pray for, or with, someone this week.  And when one of His children turns to Him and accepts Him into their life, all Heaven rejoices.  It is  a joyous occasion.

You may not be Beth Moore or Joyce Meyer, but you DO have a calling on your life.  Ask for the strength you will need.  Ask to be brave.

Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.
1 Corinthians 16:13

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Dear God, You are awesome and so good.  You are worthy to be praised and be worshipped.  Thank You for Your love that washes over us and the grace that comes before the Truth that You will speak in our lives.  Lord, You have called us to be Your church and to give to those in need.  Lord, show us where we are to go in Your name. Give us divine appointments along with the wisdom and discernment to know the words to say or the prayer to pray.  Thank You for what You will do in our lives when we step out in bravery in Your name.  In Jesus’ name.  Amen.

Filed Under: Psalms Hymns and Spiritual Songs Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Little Ol’ Me

October 3, 2014 by

psalmshymnsspiritualsongskjv

 

Well I was just a kid coming up those steps
All dressed up in my Sunday best
Learning to sing, learning to stand
Right in the front, holding mamma’s hand
I still remember listening to my dad
Even if I didn’t always understand
Cause deep in his heart, deep in his soul
There was a fire that I wanted to know
And those memories are still burning brightly
Oh Jesus how I love the way You’re writing my life

However could it be, to have a part in your story
Bigger than what I can see, little old me, little old me
I may not know Your plan but I’m safe here in Your hands
Cause I know that You believe, in little old me, little old me

Walking through the halls on my way to class
Caught my reflection in the trophy glass
Who was this girl, trying to be
And who in the world is she trying to please
Suddenly ignited by a spark I hear my Savior’s voice speaking right to my heart
“Don’t give up now, and don’t be afraid, you know who you are,
you got something to say”
And those memories are still burning brightly
Oh Jesus how I love the way You’re writing my life

Turning the page, I’m up on stage
But I’m still a kid in a lot of ways
So many dreams, that are coming true
But Lord when they see me, I hope they see You
Nothing but You
(God I know, I know You got big plans for me)
Little old me, little old me

Singer/Songwriter: Jamie Grace Harper along with Morgan H. Nichols, Juan Otero, Joel Parisien
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“Suddenly ignited by a spark I hear my Savior’s voice speaking right to my heart, ‘Don’t give up now, and don’t be afraid, you know who you are…’ “

Do we REALLY believe who God says we are??  Would we walk our walk with Him differently…fully confident with our head held high KNOWING we are more than conquerors??  God never meant for us to be living a defeated life and walking around in despair.

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:31 NIV

As long as we have God on our side there is never a reason to lose hope in any situation.  Our hope is in Him.

I pray that God, the Source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace
because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope
through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13 NLT

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Heavenly Father, may we never lose sight of the hope that we have in You and knowing with full confidence that ‘if You are for us WHO can be against us’.  Thank You for the promise in Jesus’ name.  AMEN!!!!

Filed Under: Psalms Hymns and Spiritual Songs Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

You Never Let Go

September 1, 2014 by

psalmshymnsspiritualsongskjv

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You 

Singer/Songwriter Matt Redman with Mrs. Beth Redman

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This song held me together during a very dark time in my life.  It offered hope where I could see none.  It reminded me God was holding me close as my world was falling apart.  The song is based on Psalm 23:4 (AMP).

Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me.

I truly felt like I was walking through the deepest, darkest valley known to man – the valley of death.  My only strength, my only comfort was in Him.  He was my light at the end of the tunnel if only my heart could hold on.  Proverbs 4:4 (HCSB) reminds us “Your heart must hold on to My words” and that is what I did…I sought solace in His Word.

As I was thinking back on that time and writing this, I began to wonder where the phrase “Oh no, You never let go” came from.  As I searched, I did not find the exact phrase but I found so many wonderful promises filled with hope I had to share them!

He guards the steps of His faithful ones
1 Samuel 2:9a HCSB

It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.
2 Samuel 22:33, Psalm 18:32 NIV

No weapon that is formed against you will prosper
Isaiah 54:17a NASB

My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all.
No one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.
John 10:29 HCSB

What then shall we say to [all] this?
If God is for us, who [can be] against us? [Who can be our foe, if God is on our side?]
Romans 8:31 AMP

…for God’s Son holds them securely, and the evil one cannot touch them.
1 John 5:18b NLT

I am writing to all who have been called by God the Father,
Who loves you and keeps you safe in the care of Jesus Christ.
Jude 1:1 NLT

These verses have one thing in common – they prove He never lets go!   We have nothing to fear.   And because of that I will continue to praise Him.

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Lord, thank You for never letting go.  No matter what we are going through, You are right there with us, holding us tightly in Your mighty right hand.  Remind us we have nothing to fear as long as we cling to You.  Even if we let go of Your hand, You are never too far away to reach us.  You are our Comfort and our Hope.  We are grateful that we can stand on Your promises and know You are faithful.  In Jesus’ name, Amen – it is so!

Filed Under: Psalms Hymns and Spiritual Songs Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Whom Shall I Fear

July 29, 2014 by

psalmshymnsspiritualsongskjv

You hear me when I call
You are my morning song
Though darkness fills the night
It cannot hide the light
Whom shall I fear

You crush the enemy
Underneath my feet
You are my Sword and Shield
Though troubles linger still
Whom shall I fear

I know Who goes before me
I know Who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The One Who reigns forever
He is a Friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

My strength is in Your name
For You alone can save
You will deliver me
Yours is the victory
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear

And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hands
I’m holding on to Your promises
You are faithful
You are faithful

Singer/Songwriter: Chris Tomlin with Ed Cash and Scott Cash

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Fear.  It is one of the biggest things the enemy uses against us to keep us from the purpose and plans that God has for us.

Fear is…

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

You cannot have fear and faith at the same time. You will either have one or the other. With God by our side we, as Believers, have nothing to fear.  As Jeremiah 29:11 says,

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.

God’s plans for us are for our good.  And with the God of angel armies by my side…I have NOTHING to fear!

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:31

We must trust and have faith in the One Who reigns forever.  That—no matter what—in ALL things, they will work together for our good.  Just as Romans 8:28 says,  “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.”  That is a promise we can hold onto!

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Heavenly Father, I thank You that You hear us when we call…in Jesus’ Name, AMEN!!!

Though darkness fills the night we cannot hide the light
So whom shall we fear
You crush the enemy underneath my feet
You are my Sword and Shield, the One who reigns forever
The God of angel armies is always by my side

Filed Under: Psalms Hymns and Spiritual Songs Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

You Won’t Let Go

May 17, 2014 by

psalmshymnsspiritualsongskjv

No shadow comes without the light making a way
No raging storm can ever defy one word of faith
My heart remains sure in the wind, sure in the waves

You are the anchor for my soul
You won’t let go
You won’t let go
No matter what may come I know
You won’t let go

No valley low, changes the truth
So I’m not afraid
You hold me close
You lead me through and light up the way

You are the anchor for my soul
You won’t let go
You won’t let go
No matter what may come I know
You won’t let go
You won’t let go

Neither life, neither death,
The highest high, the deepest depth
Nothing can
Nothing can separate
Neither tears, neither trials
Certain as the sun will rise
Nothing can
Nothing can separate

You are the anchor for my soul
You won’t let go
You won’t let go
No matter what may come I know
You won’t let go

My heart remains sure in the wind, sure in the waves, always

~ Sing this song with me as our prayer and worship today. ~

Written by Michael W. Smith, Seth Mosely, and Mia Fieldes
Sung by Michael W. Smith

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If God is for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:31 NIV

Last weekend I had the most incredible experience.  Michael W. Smith led worship at my church, and as a member of our church choir, was able to accompany him as he led.  He (and we) sang several songs from his new CD, Sovereign, and each touched my heart and ministered to me in a very special way.  The first song we sang was this one: “You Won’t Let Go.”  What an incredible message and great reminder!  You know, we go through many trials and tribulations in life. Good times and bad.  I’ve said this before and I will say it again – God is good, all the time! Our circumstances don’t change the truth of who God is.  He is constant.  He is steadfast.  He is faithful.  He is able.  He is still the pillar of fire in our dark times and the pillar of cloud during the day.  He is our rock, our anchor!  And He loves us relentlessly.

I love the Book of Romans.  It was written by Paul to the Gentiles (Gentile meaning anyone who is not a Jew) in Rome.  So much encouragement in this book!  In chapter 8, verses 35-39, Paul writes:

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
As it is written: ‘For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.’
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth,
nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us
from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Isn’t that AMAZING??  It says there is NOTHING that shall separate us from the love of Christ.  NOTHING.  That means that there is not anything that you can do that will keep Christ from loving you.   Does that mean He’ll approve of everything you do?  Of course not.  Does that mean that there might still be consequences for your actions?  Yes, it does.  But will He still love you?  Absolutely.  So through the trials you face, the doubts you have, the times you question His path for you – He still loves you.  When you are angry with Him – He still loves you.  When you don’t act like the child of God that you should – guess what?  He STILL loves you!  And you know what else?  Those things that you’ll do in the future that will break God’s heart?  He will love you with an unfailing love even then.   What a wonderful gift!

So whatever you are facing right now – hardship, trial, stressful situation – know that your God is unchanging.  So you can place all of your faith in the One Who cares so deeply for you!  And He’s never letting go.

Thank you, Lord!

Filed Under: Psalms Hymns and Spiritual Songs Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Girls With Swords: Chapter 6 – “Becoming A Warrior” – “Saul’s Warrior Son” (Pgs 90-98)

May 1, 2013 by

I never used to look at the term soldier and warrior as two different people, two different meanings, but after the past few weeks I am noticing a significance difference. While a soldier isn’t less important, less needed or lower than a warrior, a warrior possesses traits I want to strive for. I want to be a soldier that matures into a warrior. I want to “sign on to be more than a soldier”. I want to be tempered until I am the warrior God designed me to be. I looked up the term tempering because to be honest I’ve only really heard it in reference to chocolate (which I feel is one of God’s food choices for us women warriors).

Tempering may refer to:

Like Lisa said “the processing of tempering may not be pleasant or quick”.  But imagine the outcome.  Imagine being the warrior woman who not only sees what our enemy is doing, but one who can follow God’s lead into battles with his promises in our hearts.

2 Kings 6:16-17

So he answered, “Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”  And Elisha prayed, and said, “Lord, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw. And behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

Romans 8:31

 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Imagine walking into battles without the “blinding fear” that has stopped us in the past. Imagine walking into battles, big and small, private and public, wanting to give our all, wanting to be an example for others, wanting to be different than those around us.

The example of Elisha instructing the King not to slaughter his enemies, but instead to honor them and gift them with a feast was surprising to me, but it made sense. A warrior isn’t quick to teach a lesson, they aren’t quick to avenge a wrong done. But in the right situations they are compelled to offer grace, and compassion. They are compelled to show God’s love, they are led by God to do what is needed when it is needed, whether it is to offer grace, or to stand up and fight.

When we see a “lion with a lamb in his mouth”, when we see an area where we can make a difference, an area where we can bless others, an area where God’s love can shine through us, we as warriors need to seize the opportunity. We need to face each day, each task, and each battle with the perspective of more than just a soldier; we need to face these with the perspective of a warrior. We need to allow ourselves to be tempered.  We need to step back and allow God to mold us into the warriors He desires us to be, and to be the David’s and Jonathon’s of our time.

Let’s ask ourselves ladies: 

MoreThanASoldier.jpg

Let’s Pray:

Lord I pray that we walk with Your promises in Romans 8:31, I pray that we believe that no one, or nothing can be against us when You are for us. I pray that You open our eyes to see those standing behind us when we need it.  I pray that we become more than soldiers, and that we desire to be more and do more. Thank You Lord for this task, and thank You for Your guidance.  In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen.

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 6 – Make the Choice (pgs 182-186)

February 14, 2013 by

MAKE THE CHOICE: Repairing Relationships


“Today is a new day. Starting today, you can refocus your life on doing God’s will in your relationships” (Baker, 180)

I think we would all agree with John Baker’s assessment that broken relationships are the root of much of the pain we experience. The action steps this week allow us to move towards forgiving those who hurt us, and making amends with those we’ve hurt. Let’s explore how we can live unashamed, forgetting our troubles, full of hope and blessed (Job 11:13-10)

WRITE –
Throughout this study, we’ve taken a lot of time to write about our experiences, our actions, and our pain. I believe that writing gives us the opportunity to clearly see the thoughts that run through our minds, but by using both the thinking & writing tasks, it becomes more real to us. We take an active approach to the thoughts. We see it in black & white (or purple & white if you were to see my journal), and it’s no longer something hidden in the back corners of our lives.

Start out this week’s exercise by writing down a list of people who have harmed you in some way, and their relationship to you. Now, I’m not talking about the guy who cut you off on the road. It’s not the petty little stuff we’re dealing with here. Go back to your inventory lists from Chapter 4 if necessary. We are creating our Forgiveness List.

Once you have the list of people, or maybe just one person, describe what they said or did to hurt you. How did it make you feel? Dig deep and find the descriptive words for your feelings, don’t just say “angry” or “hurt”. Do you struggle with finding words to describe how you feel? You’re not alone! I know in counseling sessions, we were given charts & lists to help us as a family learn to communicate our feelings more clearly with one another. I found these links that might be helpful if you struggle in expressing words for your emotions:

http://www.professional-counselling.com/list-of-human-emotions.html

http://www.ami-tx.com/Portals/3/EmotionsFlyer.pdf (this is great picture chart for children!)

Now, let’s move to the Amends List. Write down names of those you’ve hurt or offended, and their relationship to you. As we did with the previous list, write down what you said or did to this person. How do you think this person felt? Why are you sorry for hurting this person? Do you stop to think about how your words or actions affect another person? So often we can point out every little offense of other people, but we dismiss what we did as nothing.

Baker gives a list of questions (p. 184) to help jump start your thinking if you’re struggling to think of those you have hurt:

  • Is there anyone to whom you owe a debt that you haven’t repaid?
  • Is there anyone you’ve broken a promise to?
  • Is there anyone you are guilty of controlling or manipulating?
  • Is there anyone you are overly possessive of?
  • Is there anyone you are hypercritical of?
  • Have you been verbally, emotionally or physically abusive to anyone?
  • Is there anyone you have not appreciated or paid attention to?
  • Is there anyone you have been unfaithful to?
  • Have you ever lied to anyone?

SHARE –
Our accountability partners will be crucial in this process. We do not want to run to someone who hurt us and put ourselves in a vulnerable position where we can be hurt again. In some instances, we will not actually face (or contact) the person we are forgiving because the risk of further harm is too great. Your accountability partner is there to talk with you, serve as a sounding board, and help guide your steps. Share your Forgiveness List with this person BEFORE you go to the one you are forgiving.

Heb10_24

Also share your Amends List with your accountability partner, and work together to develop a plan to make amends with the people you have listed. It’s not about running out to accomplish all that we can as fast as we can. There will be an appropriate time, location, and way to manage this step. Your partner knows you and will help guide you to the best way to accomplish your task.

I shared with you on Sunday my lesson in forgiving others. This was an action I needed to do, not just because God expects this of me, but because my life & health depended upon it. Harboring the resentment and anger would have caused more harm in my life … my ability to love and trust others, my ability to demonstrate His love to my daughter, and my ability to draw close to Him. But outside of the day I spoke to the court, I did not face my ex-husband to have a personal conversation with him. It would have been inappropriate to do so. I do have fleeting moments today where I think I should write him a letter, but going through this study has shown that it would bring harm to him. I said what needed to be said years ago. To make contact now would only stir up the issues and the emotions. Deep down, the flesh side of me wants to show him how well we’ve done in the years since. But that’s not what God wants. Forgiveness has been given. It was spoken, it was done.

At this time, I can think of one other for whom I need to forgive, and as much as I’ve said over the years that I have forgiven him, this study has made me see that perhaps I really haven’t. If I have forgiven this person for his actions years ago, would it still bother me that I only hear from him on birthdays and Christmas? If I have forgiven him, would it bother me that I don’t often receive replies to emails? If I have forgiven him, would it annoy me that he doesn’t seem to interact with family in ways I feel would be more appropriate? If I have fully forgiven him, would I actually have this list of things that bother me so? Or am I just holding on too tightly to the emotions the memories evoke? Either way, I haven’t fully given the issue to God, and I believe this is the area I need to really explore more deeply.

Power Verses for Chapter 6:
Luke 6:31-37
Hebrews 10:24
Philippians 2:4
Romans 12:17-18
Matthew 5:23-24
1 Peter 5:10
Colossians 3:13
Romans 8:31
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Taken from the Celebrate Recovery Participant’s Guide 3, I want to share with you the following prayer to closer out this week’s activity:
Dear God, thank You for Your love, for Your freely given grace. Help me model Your ways when I make my amends to those I have hurt and offer forgiveness to those who have injured me. Help me to set aside my selfishness and speak the truth in love. I pray that I would focus only on my part, my responsibility in the issue. I know that I can forgive others because You first forgave me. Thank You for loving me. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

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If you would like to send Amy a private email in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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