December 23, 2024

Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 4 – The Housecleaning Choice

January 27, 2013 by

I do not like you Chapter 4.
I do not wish to read you anymore.

No taking notes, or digging deep
My hurts and pains I wish to keep.

Keep hidden, that is and never known.
Just the thought of them makes me groan!

I do not like this anymore,
Maybe if I stop reading, my head won’t be so sore.

Ah but I know this is not to be.
Moving forward is what He asks of me.

 

Ok, so I am not a poet. Please forgive me! LOL

Sitting down to write the introduction for chapter 4, I was hit by many thoughts and reasons why I wasn’t going to write about it. Quite honestly, the mere thought of what’s ahead for us brings up anxiety and a strong desire to flee as if my hair were on fire. I’ve argued with myself all morning … do I really have to write about this? What if I let it slide for one day? Who will really miss THIS lesson?

The Housekeeping Choice: Coming Clean. Just the title is enough to make me squirm! How about you?

This week we will look at Choice 4: Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust.

Ugh … really? Haven’t I already done enough to address my hurts, habits & hang-ups? You really expect me to go THERE? I’m supposed to think about the father who walked out on my mom & me when I was 4, only to return via phone call 6 years later. Hmm, not much fun there. I’m supposed to think about the ex-husband who caused more hurt & pain to me & his family and how it affected me. Uh, yeah, that’s another good one. Oh wait, I’m supposed to look at myself and how I had an affair during my first marriage. It just gets better and better, doesn’t it?

But wait! Matthew 5:8 NLT tells us “God blesses those whose hearts are pure.” What comes to mind when you hear “pure heart”? I like the way The Message puts it GCH_Matt5_8

On page 102, Baker writes “If we are ever to recover from the hurts, hang-ups, and habits in our lives and know the joy of a pure heart, we’ll have to learn how to let go of our guilt and shame, and how to gain a clear conscience.” Are you ready to put your heart & mind right so that you can see God in the outside world?

So no matter how much I don’t want to do chapter 4 (did you expect a study leader to ever say something like that?), I see this chapter as being a critical part of our recovery. Before I can fully understand my behavior patterns and triggers of today, I need to understand some about my yesterdays. I need to forgive myself for the choices I’ve made, just as I need to forgive those who brought me pain.

Psalm 32:12 The Message:

Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be— you get a fresh start, your slate’s wiped clean.

Count yourself lucky— God holds nothing against you and you’re holding nothing back from him.

 

And, the same passage from The New Living:
“Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!”

Don’t you just love the hope we’re giving in this passage? A clean slate, nothing held against us, complete honesty. Oh, how I want this for my life … and yours!

We’ll see this week what guilt does to us, and how to move past it. There’s so much packed in to this chapter, I’m thinking maybe we should have given two weeks to it! Baker tells us (page 105), “Choice 4 is the one that brings our painful past out in the open so we can deal with it, be cleansed of it, and then move on to health and happiness.” It is this hope that gives me the strength to face chapter 4. Hope in the health & happiness that I’ll find on the other side.

So as you all prepare for the coming week, please know that any apprehensions and fears you may have are shared. We’re getting in to the meat of the process, and it’s not all going to be pretty. But in the midst of the muck, just remember the glory & hope that awaits us all.

1 Peter 5:10 NCV: “And after you suffer for a short time, God, who gives all grace, will make everything right. He will make you strong and support you and keep you from falling. He called you to share in his glory in Christ, a glory that will continue forever. “

Let’s go, my friends, side by side we’ll travel through chapter 4. Spring cleaning will start early this year, but what joys await when we’re finished!

Reading Assignment for Week 4:

Chapter 4: “The Housecleaning Choice”
Monday: Laurie will discuss Principle 4: The Housecleaning Choice
Tuesday: Leslie will discuss Moving Past (Part 1 – steps 1, 2 & 3)
Wednesday: Kim will discuss Moving Past (Part 1 – steps 4 & 5)
Thursday: Amy will discuss Make The Choice & Moral Inventory
Friday: Laurie will bring it all back home with a recap of our week

Let’s Pray:
Lord, I admit that the information from chapter 4 brings apprehension and an element of self-protection & pride. I feel myself becoming anxious and defensive at the mere thought of going through this process. But I know You love me and want only the best for my life. I trust in Your word that You will make me strong, support me, and keep me from falling. This is a promise given to all who know You and call You, Lord. Bless the hearts of the ladies in this study. Keep them focused on the tasks ahead. Do not allow them to be discouraged but to always hold firm to You. Amen.

Power Verses for Chapter 3:
Matthew 5:8
Psalm 32:1-2
Lamentations 3:40
1 Peter 5:10

 

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If you are interested in joining us for this amazing Online Bible Study, click HERE to sign up.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private email to Amy in regards to this blog, please email her at:

Amy@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 3 — Make the Choice

January 24, 2013 by

MAKE THE CHOICE

Choice 3: Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.

Over the past two weeks we’ve been reading and sharing a lot about the issue of control.  It seems to be a common thread in our lives – control the world around us in our way and hope it all works out as we planned.  But as we’ve seen we don’t have the power to control our lives, despite what we may think.  It is only through surrendering to His control that we truly find life.

As I went back through my book for today’s blog, I was struck again by John Baker’s personal story on page 81.  I  felt as if I was reading my own story.  I was saved at 14, and did all that I thought I was supposed to do – Sunday School, youth groups, retreats, even Christian college.  But something was still missing.  In my youth, I surrendered all I thought I should surrender, but it wasn’t truly ALL of my life.  From college I made wrong choices with relationships, hurt people closest to me, and kept running from the one person who could truly set me free from my fears and worries.  God.  And, just like John Baker, no matter how bad my choices were, God was still waiting for me with outstretched arms.  I can think back to times He was trying to get my attention and pull me back, but I brushed it off and kept going “my way.”

When I ended an engagement at a young age, I heard God questioning my decision.  But He just didn’t understand.  When my husband said we were moving out of state, against my wishes, I heard God telling me to speak up.  But He just didn’t understand.  When I battled infertility, I cried out to God begging to know what I did wrong to deserve this trial.  I didn’t hear Him respond.  When I was starting an affair, God was calling me out.  But He just didn’t understand.  When my marriage fell apart and I was moving the next guy in, God tried to get my attention again.  But He just didn’t understand.  Do you see a pattern here?  Me, a little speck on this earth, telling the God of the Universe that He doesn’t understand!  Wow, talk about pride!

On May 11, 2001 the world came crashing down around me in ways that no one could have ever seen coming.  People I thought were friends left me.  Family no longer supported me because it was too difficult a reminder of what my ex had become.  There was no greater example in my life of how little control I really have over anything than at this time of my life.  But, I also heard God very clearly that night, “Do I have your attention THIS time?”  He wasn’t judging me, or giving me any “I told you so” type lectures.  He greeted me with open arms and the patient love only the Father can give.

God reminded me that He had been with me all the way, through every poor decision, every time I pushed Him aside because He didn’t understand my plans and way of doing life.  He also reminded me of one precious gift He had given to me, a little ray of sunshine I called my daughter.  She was the inspiration I needed to get out of bed and keep moving until I could think clearly during these rough days.  She had no one but me, so I had to keep going.  I realized that while He didn’t bring the chaos and pain to my life, He allowed it to happen for my good.    We are reminded of this in Romans 8:28: “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (NLT)

Two years later, I heard a song on the radio that brought instant tears to my eyes … another God-message for me.  Martina McBride released a song called “In My Daughter’s Eyes” and sings, “She was sent to rescue me”.  (http://youtu.be/eLS0Y40WwlA)   I truly believe that God sent my daughter to rescue me, and to return me to His fold.  You see, by medical standards she should not be here.  Doctors cannot explain how I was able to get pregnant and managed to carry a child to term with the health issues I experienced.  Seven years of infertility and suddenly, this miracle.  The last time my doctor said this to me was after my hysterectomy in 2010.  We were discussing the pathology report and his surgical findings, and he said, “I just don’t know how your daughter is here.”  I just smiled and said, “That’s because you didn’t create her.”  I knew she was fully and entirely God’s plan for my life.   But through her life, God gave me the wake-up call I needed to throw up my hands in surrender, and return to His open arms.

PRAY –

This week, we focused on committing ALL of our lives to Christ, not just the areas we think He should have, but ALL areas.  As I read Chapter 3, I was reminded of a song from my early church days, “I Surrender All.”  This clip is one of my favorite versions by Jaden Lavik.

http://youtu.be/uaTXNxUXcn4

Now is the time to ask Christ in to your heart if you have not already done so.  Admit you are powerless without Him, acknowledge His death on the cross for your sins, and the power of His resurrection for your eternal salvation.  Are you ready to make this decision for Christ?

If you are part of this study and do know Christ, use this time to rededicate your whole life to Him, asking Him to take full care and control over the areas of your life you’ve previously guarded.  As the song says, “All to Jesus I surrender, all to Him I freely give.”  He won’t bully His way in and take over.  It’s a choice you must make to freely turn over your life.

WRITE –

1 Corinthians 5:17 tells us “this means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”

What does this verse mean to you?

Go back to your notes from Chapter 1, how do you feel today compared to when you first made those notes?

What are you having a difficult time surrendering to God?

What are some things you will ask God to do in your “new life”?

 

SHARE –

 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Making a decision to commit your life to Christ is the most important decision you will make in your life.  Yes, more important than your choice of spouse, career, or home.  This decision remains with you for eternity, and what an awesome promise that is for us!

Take time this week to let others know about the reason for the changes in your life.  Share with them about the freedom, joy and hope you are learning to experience.  Encourage them to surrender to His care and control and allow Him to change their lives, too.

 ___________________

Power Verses:

Ephesians 1:13 NIV

And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit.

Acts 16:31 NLT

Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with everyone in your household.

2 Timothy 3:16 NLT

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.

 Phil 4:13 CEV

Christ gives me the strength to face anything.

 

Lord, what a precious gift You have offered to each of us!  You said in Your Holy Word, Romans 10:9 that if we confess the Lord our God and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved.  We admit that our choices haven’t followed Your plans for us, but we seek to follow You more closely.  We surrender our lives to You, placing ourselves fully in Your care and control.  We know that You desire the best for us, and we need to learn to trust this truth on a daily basis.  Thank You for Your awesome gift and the blessings You have given to each of us.  Amen.

___________________

If you would like to send a private email to Amy in regards to this blog, please email her at:

Amy@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: HOPE, Make the Choice

January 17, 2013 by

Choice 2: Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has the power to help me recover.  It is in this step that we find our HOPE.  The changes you desire are only steps away.  But, as many of you have shared over the past week, the steps are not always easy ones.

I struggle with control.  There I said it!  I don’t like many roller coasters because of the feeling of being so out-of-control.  Same goes for motorcycles!  I want my kids to behave a certain way, my husband to respond to me in a certain way, my workday to follow a set pattern, etc.  One huge reason I’ve never taken the path of drug or alcohol use is the buzz or high that others crave makes me anxious because I’m not in control of things.  Sometimes being in control is a good thing; but when you try to make sure that every part of your world lines up “just so” … it only brings disruption, anxiety, and depression.

We have hope and promise in the Scriptures that we are not on this journey alone. “I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will keep right on helping you grow in His grace until His task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns.” (Philippians 1:6)

Blessings,

Amy

PRAY –

Dear Lord, my life is a precious treasure from You.  I experience things as a result of my choices, both good and bad.  Help me not ignore the pain that comes from my choices, as it is there to turn me back to You.  I admit that I’ve refused Your help.  I pray for Your power to be real and evident.  I know that it is only through You that I will have the strength and power to break the habits that are holding me back from experiencing fully the life You have given to me.  I want to experience true love and solid relationships, learning how to trust and respect others and myself.  I want to experience self-control to walk away from temptation, and my tendency to turn back to comfortable patterns that continue to hold me back.  Help me to continue making healing choices.  Amen.

WRITE –

God promises to always be with you.  He will never leave you.  He will never forsake you.  He will never turn His back on you.  Do you believe this to be true? Deep down in your heart of hearts, do you really believe this to be true?

If you’ve been hurt and disappointed by other people, it’s hard to believe that someone as great, loving and powerful as God would stand by you…no matter what!  No sin is too great to turn Him from His children.  We may feel too ugly, too damaged, too tarnished, too sinful for God, and we make the choice to turn away.  But that’s OUR choice, not God’s.

“When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you.  When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown!  When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you”  Isaiah 43:2.

Using prompts from our book, take time to write in your journal the questions and answers that speak to you most.  I would encourage you to answer all of the questions in the book – don’t skip the hard ones, dear friends.

SHARE –

Sharing can be the most frightening step.  How will the other person react to our story?  Will they judge or condemn my thoughts and/or actions?  Can I trust them to protect my information? Whatever your apprehensions, remember in Proverbs we’re told, “As iron sharpens iron, so people can improve each other.” (Prov 27:17)

Baker gives a very clear and comforting instruction, “This journey is not one to be traveled alone.  You need someone of the same sex, a trusted friend with whom you can share what God is doing in your life.” (p. 54).  Do you have someone in your life you can talk to about this journey? 

After you have taken the time to reflect and write your answers to these questions, we welcome your comments below, or visit our Facebook Group for additional discussion. Please remember that all comments shared on this page are open to the public.  You do have the option of signing anonymously to post your comment.

Power Verses:
“Remember that in the past you were without Christ.  You were not citizens of Israel, and you had no part in the agreements with the promise that God made to His people. You had no hope, and you did not know God.  But now in Christ Jesus, you who were far away from God are brought near through the blood of Christ’s death.”  Ephesians 2:12–13

“But this precious treasure –this light and power that now shine within us –is held in a perishable container, that is, in our weak bodies.  Everyone can see that the glorious power within must be from God and is not our won.  We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken.  We are perplexed because we don’t know why things happen as they do, but we don’t’ give up and quit.”  2 Corinthians 4:7-8

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think.  Then you will learn from your own experience how His ways will really satisfy you.”  Romans 12:2

“And this is the secret: that Christ in your hearts is your only hope of glory.”  Colossians 1:27

 Lord, I have tried to fix & control my life’s hurts by myself.  Often, I make situations worse by refusing to let go and let You handle a situation.  I admit I am powerless, and change will only come when I turn it all over to You.  You loved me enough to send Your Son to die on the cross for my sins.  Thank You for standing by me, believing in me, and wanting more for my life.  Help me to continue making healthy, healing choices in my life, and to loosen my grip on things that need to be in Your hands.  Amen.

If you are interested in joining us for this online Bible study, please click HERE to sign up.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you are interested in sending Amy a private message in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Week 2 – Plugging In To God’s Power

January 16, 2013 by

 

“Believe it or not, things work better when they’re plugged in.”

–John Baker, Life’s Healing Choices

 

A couple of months ago, I had a sink that would not drain—a sink full of yucky smelling water. I flipped the switch up and down on the disposal…and nothing. Being the fixer that I am, I bought three Rubbermaid containers and filled them up with this stinky sink water so that I could wash dishes.

I have a big family.  Four kids and a husband equals many, many dishes and utensils. To add to the inconvenience of this, we live on the 18th floor of a high-rise condominium.  In order to dump these containers took a dolly and manpower. After going to all this trouble, I finally called Maintenance up.  He took one look under my sink and said, “The disposal works better plugged in!” Are you kidding me? It was that simple? Imagine the trouble I could have saved myself if I had just known to plug it in.

It’s like that in our spiritual life, as well. Can you imagine the pain and heartache we could have saved ourselves from, if only we had just stayed plugged in to Him. His power is ours if we just stay connected to Him.  Believing in Him is not enough to get rid of our hurts, habits and hang-ups.

For me it wasn’t enough to keep me from taking that bottle of painkillers or taking that drink or running headfirst into an eating disorder.  I was saved, but I wasn’t satisfied; and salvation without satisfaction is a stronghold just waiting to happen. To be satisfied with God, we must really get to know Him, to read His word, and stay connected to Him. He gives us all we need to live this life that He has given us. John 15:5 says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing.” Again, we have to come to the end of ourselves and allow Him to do the very thing we cannot do alone. Truly that means anything. I love John Baker’s statement about how when we stop trying to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, that we’ll find Christ will stand us up on our feet!

Now that we believe, we must receive! Believe He is who He says He is, and then cry out to Him for help. Tell Him what He already knows. He just wants to hear you say it. A simple yet extremely difficult four letter word—HELP!!! He will come to your rescue, but you must be ready for change.

Ever heard the saying that God loves you just for you, but too much to leave you that way? It’s so true. Change is hard; change is scary; but change is good when we serve a good God. We must pray for the willingness to change and His answer will always be “Yes, child! Here is the willingness you asked for and the need for my power!  Here’s the plug…just use it.” Philippians 2:13 says, “It is God Who is at work within you, giving you the will and the power to achieve His purpose”. The first choice we talked about was admitting we needed Him.  The second choice—the Hope choice—is getting the help we need. What freedom we will find from our pain! We can breathe again, right?

Remember His promise? Oh how I do love this verse! “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze” (Isaiah 43:2). Whatever you are dealing with today, please know that He wants to take it from you. He is able, and more than willing, to help you change whatever needs changing. His power is readily available to you. You just have to say the words, “Help me, Jesus!  I cannot do this on my own!”

Let’s Pray:

Dear God,  we praise You today for the loving God that You are. Your patience with us and Your love for us is beyond our comprehension and so undeserved. Please help those today who need to lay some things down at Your feet to have the willingness to ask and the power to change. And for those that aren’t quite ready, again I ask for Your loving arms to protect them and keep them safe until they are. Thank You for this freedom from addiction and our own human nature. Keep us connected to You so that we may be Your hands and feet to others. We love You, and thank You for giving us Your Spirit. For it’s in Your Son’s Precious Name I pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:

In what area of your life could you use God’s triple power surge and how? Remember, comments made here are public. You do have the option of signing in anonymously.

If you are interested in joining us for the online Bible study, click HERE.
Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Kim in regards to this blog, please email her at kim@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Week 2 – Truth About God

January 15, 2013 by

Today, as we continue to explore Choice 2 (the Hope Choice), we are going to talk in detail about the three magnificent truths about God:

1) God exists

2) I matter to Him

3) He has the power to help me.

My daughter loves to do science experiments. I realized how quiet she was one afternoon. I looked around the house and noticed she was on the back deck. She had a box of baking powder, 3 cups with water, and a bottle of vinegar. She wanted me to come watch her amazing (trick) experiment she learned at church. She showed me what would happen when adding different amounts of baking soda and vinegar to the cups. She smiled and giggled after showing me the cause and effect from her volcanic eruption experiment.

My reason for the story relates to belief in God. Do you believe God exists? The Bible makes it clear that belief in God is essential: “Anyone who comes to him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him” Hebrews 11:6. Most people do acknowledge that God exists. Where there is an effect, there must be a cause, (just like the example of the volcanic experiment shown from my daughter). We can see that where there is creation, there must be a Creator. “For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see His invisible qualities–His eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.” Romans 1:20. (NLT)

Ok, so most people believe God exists; but the bigger question is, do you believe you matter to Him? The reason a lot of us don’t know we matter to God is that we don’t really know what God is like. I remember right before I started my walk, I asked everyone I could to tell me what God is like. I even had a few tell me I could create who I wanted my God to be and the qualities I wanted from Him. Our personal perception of God is not what matters. What does matter is the truth of who He really is. This is where we have a hard time with trust. It’s very difficult trying to trust something or someone that we do not know about or understand. John Baker said in this chapter, “Until we know God’s true character, we can’t completely trust Him.”

Growing up, I had a very hard time with trust due to my relationship with my father and a few male relationships in my teens. Unfortunately, these feelings and hurts carried into my adulthood until this past year. I had a very hard time trusting, especially males. Our relationship with our parents can actually affect what our perception of our Heavenly Father might be. The truth is, as humans we are flawed. These flaws result in treating each other in hurtful and unloving ways. The truth is, God is love and can be nothing but love. We must be careful not to confuse our experiences with man/men with the reality of who God is.

King David had much sorrow in his life, and he said of God, “You have listened to my troubles and have seen the crisis of my soul.” Our situations in life are the same. Whatever you’re going through right now, Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit. “Psalm 34:18”. God’s character shows us just how great His love is for us by sending Christ to die for us. I don’t know about you, but I think this is what gives me the trust in my Heavenly Father. God’s compassion for His children is so incredible and unconditional! How does that make you feel knowing God loves you so much and cares about every hurt that has you heartbroken?

In Psalm 56:8 (NLT) says: “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” We may think nobody knows what we are going through, or can’t understand what happened…but God does. God knows us, cares about us and can change the situation.

Lastly, I would like you to really think about this question. What hurt, hang-up, or habit today, or from the past, just doesn’t seem to go away, such as a dead relationship, or even an addiction? Does this situation seem hopeless to ever change? I didn’t think my situation would ever change; in fact, I truly felt absolutely hopeless! Not one person ever told me that I would ever be healthy again. My doctors told me at one point, I was probably going to die, or continue to have shock treatments and hospitalization for my major depression for the rest of my life. Talk about feeling hopeless! But today, I laugh as I write this. Reason being, I know God has the power to change a situation because He sure changed mine! I no longer feel that deep depression and the desire to die any longer. I have been delivered from that agonizing depression deep in my soul and I feel great joy to be alive. Now this IS a miracle of healing that is only of God!

I DECLARE HE HAS THE POWER TO CHANGE YOU AND YOUR SITUATION!

Let’s Pray:

Father, we come to You today because we believe in You. We can trust that You are always with us and care so much for us. Thank You God for showing us Your great love by sending Christ to die for us. Lord, we believe You have power to change us and our situations that have seemed so hopeless. Lord, we thank You for Your love and the hope we find in You. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:

Write down what situations you have been dealing with that have seemed hopeless to ever change. Then ask yourself, do I now feel and believe in my heart, that God can change it? Write it, pray about it, and please share it. (Remember this is a PUBLIC forum. You do have the ability to sign in anonymously, if you wish.)

If you are interested in joining this Online Bible Study, and becoming a member of our private online discussion group, please click HERE to sign up. Once you are registered, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Leslie in regards to this blog, please email her at: Leslie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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“Life’s Healing Choices” – Getting Help – The Hope Choice

January 14, 2013 by

Psalm62_5

 

In our first week, we prayed for God to give us the courage and willingness to admit we are powerless.  As you admitted you are powerless, how did it impact your life last week?  When I began admitting that I am NOT God and I am powerless, I went through a multitude of emotions: anger, sadness, guilt, relief and indifference.  Turning over the control of my life was taking the life, as I had known for years, and realizing it was a false system of belief.  I had to accept the changes I needed to make. This week we are going to talk about what happens after we realize those changes need to be made.  We may begin to mourn our past mistakes and even mourn the fact that we have turned our control over to God. Some of you may say, FORGET IT!! I will admit I am not God, I mean, everyone knows they aren’t God.  But this – it’s painful.

Let’s stop right here and look at the title to this chapter – Getting Help, The Hope Choice.  Ok, that sounds a little better.  Then go to the E in RECOVERY which is Earnestly believe that God exists ( yes I can do that) and the I matter to Him (so glad about that) and that He has the power to help me recover (I sure hope so).  It is at this point that we search and find access that He is the One that wants to fill our lives with love, joy and peace.  He wants us to feel His presence as we begin to let go of more and more of the hurts we have experienced by our habits or hang-ups. Matthew 5:4 is the scripture that tags this step – ‘Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.’ It is His comfort we are seeking and only Him that will offer the healing and VICTORY over our hurts, habits and hang-ups.

One of the biggest issues I went through when I was letting go of my past was the guilt and shame.  I had enough ‘I wishes: I wish I hadn’t made my sons live in the environment I chose; I wish I hadn’t hurt my family; I wish I hadn’t left my marriage; I wish I hadn’t alienated myself from my friends and family; etc, etc. etc.  I could write a book on 1001 “I wishes” you don’t want to have.  But as I kept saying I wish, God kept telling me to quit wishing on my past and believe in His promise. Isaiah 61:7 says: ‘Instead of their shame, my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs.’  What an amazing promise to believe in God loves us so much, we are going to receive double our portion and have everlasting joy. He will comfort us, restore what we may have lost and give us joy.

When we continue to live in our habits or hurts, we are trying to drown out something in our lives or hide what we don’t want brought to light. We would rather sit back and ignore the issue.  The reality in the book about the fire alarm brought this home for me.  If the fire alarm went off, would I simply sit there and wait for it to stop, while everything around me disintegrated?  That is exactly what we do when we try to cover up our hurts, habits or hang-ups with food, alcohol, anger, work or other addictions. All the things around us disintegrate: relationships, finances, work, anything in our lives that stand in the way of our cover up.  I know for myself, when I was living the lifestyle I chose, I was a workaholic, single mom going to school and perfectionist within my home.  There was not an item out of place, my kids stayed involved (so I would have more to do), I was doing online classes for my degree and working 70-80 hours per week.  That way I had NO time to look at the addictions in my own life. And if someone said, “I am praying for you,”  I told them what for? I am fine – then would go into a long list of why my life was so ‘fine.’  I didn’t need anyone’s help and really did not need God’s help. I was choosing things of the world, not the things of my God.

I remember someone telling me, ‘the love of the world will squeeze out the love of the Father.’ That’s exactly what I was doing.  God had to get my attention.  And that He did.  I had gone through every one of the denial busters:  I was wound tight from over work, damaging relationships with family and friends and was beginning to have medical issues. I had to begin admitting I was not in control and turn it all over to Him.  I believed at the time, but had not let Him manage my life.  As I did, God started taking me from brokenness to completeness, from hurt to healing and then to Victory over all things in my past.  As we begin to admit, He offers hope for that change in our lives.  Don’t quit before His healing happens. The hope and help God offers is steps away – He will stay with us each step of the way until Victory.

“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6.

The hope we search for is found in Christ alone.

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Let’s Pray:

Father, we thank You so much that You are our hope. That by Your grace alone, we can find comfort and healing through our struggles.  Father, as we continue this week together, help us to continue letting You manage our lives.  Help us to find the strength to bring our hurts, habits and hang-ups and lay them at Your feet.  To be honest Lord, there are times when we may not feel like giving up our comfort or we may not understand what it is we are to give to You.  Bring clarity and peace to our lives Father, that peace that surpasses all understanding as we put our trust in You. We praise You for what You have done and are about to do in our lives.  We give all the glory and honor to You.  In Jesus Name, Amen

Assignment:

After reading this blog comment on below and/or go to our Facebook Group and comment on:  how you handle pain or disappointment.  Also, are there areas of your life you are now beginning to face reality and break your denial?  If so, what are those areas?

If you are interested in joining us for this Online Bible Study, and becoming a member of our Facebook Discussion Group, please click HERE to sign up.

Once you are registered, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog, please email her at: Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

Filed Under: Victorious Healing Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

GCH:Victorious Healing – Life’s Healing Choices: Freedom from Your Hurts, Hang-Ups, and Habits … Starts Soon!

December 5, 2012 by

Through life, we often think recovery is only for alcoholics or drug addicts. Regardless of what issue you may be struggling with in life, whether it is financially, emotionally, through chemical dependency, sexual addictions, food issues, lying, depression, anxiety (just to name a few), we all have a hurt or a struggle that causes us pain and hinders our walk with God.

‘All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God’  

Romans 3:23  

There is not a struggle or hurt that is greater or lesser than the other; just as there is no one sinner worse than the other. We all need God’s hope, healing and recovery through these hurts.

So many times we try to fix our problems ourselves, finding that we turn right back to the comfort of our faulty coping skills. This blog will help you realize that no matter what your hurt or struggle may be, God wants to give you hope and healing if you will trust and allow Him to. With the blogs, studies and fellowship of this group, you will have the opportunity to begin to feel the freedom and peace of healing from your hurts and struggles.

We are excited you have decided to join us on this journey- so grab your cup of coffee and get ready for the ride!

**********************

Our first GCH: Victorious Healing

Online Bible Study

Begins January 6, 2013

Sign Up Today!

Life's Healing Choicesby John Baker
**********
Life’s Healing Choices by John Baker

This 8 week study takes the 8 Beatitudes from one of Jesus’ most famous sermons, the Sermon on the Mount – Matthew 5: 3-10. Through the principles outlined in the beatitudes, you will find the hope, healing and happiness God has intended for you. The book outlines how you can leave your past hurts and struggles behind and begin to rely on God to help you focus on the amazing future He has planned for you.   

*************

To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions.  You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study.  We’re looking forward to studying “Life’s Healing Choices” with you!!  

Filed Under: Victorious Healing Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Announcing our Brand New GCH: Victorious Healing Online Bible Study

December 2, 2012 by

Through life, we often think recovery is only for alcoholics or drug addicts. Regardless of what issue you may be struggling with in life, whether it is financially, emotionally, through chemical dependency, sexual addictions, food issues, lying, depression, anxiety (just to name a few), we all have a hurt or a struggle that causes us pain and hinders our walk with God.

‘All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God’  

Romans 3:23  

There is not a struggle or hurt that is greater or lesser than the other; just as there is no one sinner worse than the other. We all need God’s hope, healing and recovery through these hurts.

So many times we try to fix our problems ourselves, finding that we turn right back to the comfort of our faulty coping skills. This blog will help you realize that no matter what your hurt or struggle may be, God wants to give you hope and healing if you will trust and allow Him to. With the blogs, studies and fellowship of this group, you will have the opportunity to begin to feel the freedom and peace of healing from your hurts and struggles.

We are excited you have decided to join us on this journey- so grab your cup of coffee and get ready for the ride!

Our first GCH: Victorious Healing

Online Bible Study

begins January 6, 2013!

Life's Healing Choicesby John Baker

Life’s Healing Choices
by John Baker

This 8 week study takes the 8 Beatitudes from one of Jesus’ most famous sermons, the Sermon on the Mount – Matthew 5: 3-10. Through the principles outlined in the beatitudes, you will find the hope, healing and happiness God has intended for you. The book outlines how you can leave your past hurts and struggles behind and begin to rely on God to help you focus on the amazing future He has planned for you.   

*************

To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions.  You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study.  We’re looking forward to studying “Life’s Healing Choices” with you!!  

Filed Under: Victorious Healing Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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