God knows every one of us. He knows our past, our present, and our future. There is nothing that we can keep from Him: no secrets, no heartaches, no fears, no doubts, no lies. He is sovereign over all. We will never understand His ways because we cannot see what He sees. We cannot see into the hearts and minds of those around us. Our only job is to follow His leading… however difficult it may be.
The author’s story about her father is heart-wrenching. In our short section today, there is much to chew on, though. Up to this point, we have learned that this man may not have been the best father. He suffered with an alcohol problem, was dismissive of his family, and generally showed a lack of caring. Do we know what was causing all of these issues? No, but God does. He knows every detail of her father’s life. He knows his struggle, his pain, his heartache.
Plus, God knows what it will take to move the relationship forward.
During a visit with her father, who was in a facility due to dementia, the author relates a story about God’s faithfulness. Lisa sensed that her father was fully cognizant of who she and her children were and prayed, asking God what she should say. Here is the exchange:
“I lifted a silent prayer: Heavenly Father, what should I say?
The response was shocking and immediate: Tell him he was a good dad.
What? Stunned, I countered, That’s a lie! I am not going to lie to him…especially not now! He was not a good father.
I heard a firm assurance: He was as good as he knew how to be.” (pg. 199)
Isn’t that the way of God? He tells us what to do, but His answers are often not the answers we want to hear. The things He makes us do are difficult and painful sometimes. Forgiveness is extraordinarily difficult, especially when we have been severely hurt by another person.
Yet … God knows how to mend those broken relationships. He is the Ultimate Healer and Fixer. His timing is always perfect and He knows just what we need to say and do every time. It may not make any sense to us, but to God, it makes all the sense in the world.
Can you imagine if the author did not heed God’s leading and speak those words to her father? We cannot spend another day living in regret of what we should have said or done. If you are nurturing hurt from a broken relationship and God is prompting you to move toward restoration, listen to what He has to say and then act. His timing is perfect and His plans are always good. He will not lead you astray. Holding on to those feelings of resentment and anger will only inhibit your relationship with the Lord. Release them. Release the person. Let God work it out. He wants to..you just need to let Him.
Let’s Pray: Father, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, we pray for supernatural strength and boldness to take a step of faith in our broken relationships today. Help us, Lord, to move toward healing and restoration. Give us a heart of love and peace. Show us how to focus on the hope we have in You rather than on our bitterness and anger. We thank you in advance for this provision, Father. Amen.
Jennifer, your first paragraph really spoke to me this morning. “Our only job is to follow His leading…however difficult it may be.” I just thought of an old saying, “When God tells you to jump (forgive), don’t ask ‘why’ ask ‘how far.'” We’re not to question God but to obey Him to our full ability.
The quote from Lisa that had me thinking on p. 200, “It was a holy moment of love and forgiveness.” I hadn’t thought of forgiveness as holy, but actually everything we do in obedience to God He makes holy.
Oh yes, great point! Love that!
Jennifer, I liked something you brought out about Lisa’s father: Do we know what was causing all of these issues? No, but God does. A quote from another book that helped me tremendously as I struggled with forgiveness of what was obviously wrong doings. “Seek to understand, not to be understood.” Actions of another may, indeed, be wrong, but only God knows the whole story as you pointed out. Leave it up to Him to bring justice in His time and way.
That can be so hard, Martha, but in the end, it will be so good!!!
I have to be honest, this chapter brought out a lot of memories of my past. Not about my dad, but by a loved one who abused me when I was a kid. For years, I chose not to forgive her. I hated her. I was angry, bitter, and swore I would never forgive her for what she did. The mental, emotional, and physical abuse was ridiculous for an adult to act toward a child. But, after I became a Christian, God told me it was time to let all that go. I chose to forgive her, but it wasn’t really until the last 10 years that I truly began to understand her life at that time. How hard it was to raise someone else’s child while the mother was out having a grand old time with no cares of the world. How hard it was to never a word from the mother, until she wanted to see the child…sometimes that would years had gone by before that request would come through. It was also when I discovered that she was sexually molested as a child, and much anger must have been in her heart because of that. I began to see her as a person instead of an abuser. I began to see her as a woman. I began to see her as a parental figure. I began to see her the way God saw her. That was when I truly began to forgive her. I can agree with Lisa in this book, in that there were many times I would have never wanted to tell this person that she was a good parent because she was not…not to me anyway. But I can also see that she must have carried a lot of guilt for what she did too, although I never heard her admit it. Even Gary said one time, “That woman is just not a nice person!” But I chose to forgive her anyway, not only because God told me to, but because I no longer wanted to carry that weight on my shoulders! I was tired of it. I was tired of the emotional turmoil, the nightmares, etc. I just wanted to be done with it. This woman has passed on now, and I have never been given the opportunity to actually say “I forgive you” to her face. I’ve written to her, but I never heard back from her, so to this day I don’t know if it mattered to her or not. All I can do is trust that God knew my heart, and He knew hers, and He made it right with both of us.
Powerful blog, Jennifer!!! Thank you!
I love that verse, I wish that people (myself included) would live by it more often. I wish we would remember how many times Christ has forgiven us for our sins, how willing He is to wipe our slate clean. But we (again, myself included) are so ready to hold a grudge. I know that I need to ask for forgiveness for this, and I pray that God touches the heart of so many other people who need to forgive.
Thank you for this post 🙂
AMEN, Tonya! God will never ask us to do something that isn’t good for us! It’s our choice to trust Him, and just do what he tells us to do. (again, myself included!!) 🙂
Thanks Jennifer!! I have been blessed with a mother and father that were Christians. I can’t imagine how hard it was for Lisa to forgive the past or for you Christi. I have forgiven and prayed for people in my life that have tried to make my life miserable. When we pray for the individual it does release us from harboring anger or a grudge. I know I didn’t want to do this initially but I found it be cleansing to my soul. If we step out in faith God gives us the grace to forgive. Like you said Tonya, Christ forgave us for our sins how can we not do the same?
Lorraine, that’s why I try so hard to talk to people about forgiving those who hurt us. Forgiveness is truly a GIFT from God to release us from the pain and anguish that we can suffer from if we continue to hold on to it. God is so good by telling us that we need to forgive. He KNOWS what it will do for us if we choose to obey Him! PTL!!
It’s not exactly the coffee hour- more like the warm milk and cookies hour- but I would like to chime in on this one- I haven’t been commenting on the book but I have been blessed by the book and everyone’s else’s comments~
Someone hurt me and it is natural to hold that against him because I was hurt and it is HIS fault- it is my RIGHT to hold a grudge- who would blame me? He ruined MY life! Poor me. As I replay the cruel event over and over and over again in my mind I don’t have peace, I am depressed, I am anxious, the Lord is distant- “where are you Lord, don’t you know that I have been wronged?” “Can you please just send a lightening bolt down and burn the creep!” (I wanted to write what I really called him in my mind- but this is a G rated blog) Eventually a tiny voice breaks through and He says, “Cheryl, you need to let go of this- you need to forgive, not only do you need to forgive, you need to love your enemy, if you want peace you must forgive, if you want to sleep at night you must forgive, if you want to have fellowship with me you must forgive, if you want your stomach to stop churning you must forgive, I forgave you…, I forgave those who hurt Me” It was not easy and at first it was not sincere- but I said alright Lord, I will forgive, but I won’t forget! The Lord said,” that is not good enough, I have forgiven you as far as the east is from the west, you will forgive, and when the memories resurface you will praise Me for I have brought you through that valley, and you will have peace, and you will sleep, and your stomach won’t be upset, and I will put a song in your heart.” So every time that I thought of the pain the creep caused me I prayed for the Lord to bless him. What happened next is beyond human comprehension- I was free from the hurt and pain, I had peace, I had joy, I slept, my stomach stopped churning. Forgiveness, true forgiveness is so FREEING- as Christi said, it is a gift. The more I practice forgiveness, the easier it gets, I try not to hold on to hurts too long- all it does is fester- fester stink and they are ugly!
The Lord made a way for us- as said earlier- we need to obey, let go and let God work it out for His good and His glory. It is beyond human comprehension.
Cheryl really good to hear your victory!! So many people in this world struggle with unforgiveness and like you said it causes them to be sick and a victim. Christ is our redeemer, savior and he truly cares about our HEART. When we open our heart up to him and listen to his discipleship we are redeemed and set free to fellowship with our Lord!!