I am the mom of two girls, 11 and 13. Since my husband and I are both believers, I never had worried about us being good models for them, until we had trouble in our church.
Because of some issues we had, we did not attend church for a year. My main concern during this time was how this was affecting my girls. I didn’t want them to think not going to church was okay. I also didn’t want them to think changing your religion was something that should be done on a whim or taken lightly.
We had many family discussions about our faith during this time. My husband and I had private conversations about what having our daughters confirmed in a certain religion meant to us. Was it a necessity; was it okay to wait until they were older? All the while we were visiting other churches to possibly join and we just were not satisfied with our options. But I didn’t want to just “go” somewhere because I was worried about the confirmation issue. I wanted to find a church that would develop a love for Jesus in their hearts as well as teach them the importance of God’s word.
To make a long story short, we did find a new church home and it’s one our whole family is very comfortable in, even though it is not the type of church my husband and I were brought up in. Our new church home has a refreshing approach to the scriptures. Church is now something we all look forward to. My 11 year old is the most excited and has benefited the most from our change. This makes my heart so happy because I was very worried that entire year of being without a church that our actions were going to send them the wrong message. They are at such a hard age. These pre-teen and teen years are so impressionable. But not so much by mom and dad anymore, instead they are more apt to want to do what their peers are doing. Thankfully my girl’s friends are all church going people; some attend our new church, which probably helped them to get on board. But I want you all to know that in my own way, I understand the worry you have over your children’s faith.
There was a moment during that year where we didn’t have a church that I worried my husband was not going to approve of any of the churches in our small town. He had kept finding something wrong with each of them. Then where would we be? When you are a believer, you NEED a church. Your family needs a church. It is VERY important for many reasons, and I worried about them all! But I did learn a few things during that year!
#1 was not to settle on somewhere just to be in a church.
#2 was do not push the subject with my husband! I really liked one church and my husband did not. If I would’ve pushed my opinions on him to try and make him “come to my side”, we would’ve ended up being miserable in that church too.
And finally, #3, continue to pray. I prayed every night that we would find a church for our entire family, and in God’s perfect timing, we found one.
It took an entire year and 2 visits to our new church, but we finally found our home, and we are all so happy there. It was the best reward for all of my praying and waiting.
Let’s Pray:
Dear Lord, as our children grow, we want to make sure they continue to want to worship You, learn more about You and grow closer to You every day. This is a crazy world we live in, with many negative outside influences that are hard to keep away from our children. Help us in this effort Lord, to keep their eyes focused on You. Help these women in unequally yoked marriages. Please let their children want to follow their lead and keep attending church. Hopefully they can be an example of how precious Your love is to their unbelieving father. In your precious son’s name, Amen.
Your Assignment:
As we end this study, I’d like to hear how God has spoken to your heart. Has anything changed in your marriage? Have you been able to minister to anyone else who is an unbeliever, or possibly someone in the same situation as you? Please share your stories below! I can’t wait to hear them!
Thank you for reading my silly rambles week after week! This is my final blog for GCH. 🙁 It has certainly been an honor to write posts on Winning Him Without Words! And I’m so grateful to have made many great, lifelong friends while doing it! God bless you all!
Sarah
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Our next Women’s Online Bible Study
“Crazy Love” by Francis Chan
Begins January 6, 2013.
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About Sarah Boyer
Sarah, I am sure you and your husband are wonderful parents and are a Godly influence on your girls as they grow. I pray blessings on you as you leave. Your posts have inspired me, and I always looked forward to what you had to say each week.
Thank you so much, Martha!
sarah, your words may be rambles 😉 but they are NOT silly! <3
Ha, ha! Thank you, Coleen!!
Thank you for sharing Sarah. I too have stuggled in a church. We have found a great one we are happy in, but my kids continue to complain about going to children's church every single Sunday. we also have small group study at our home on Wednesday nights and it's the same thing. they like a few girls in the group, I just don't understand why the resisitent going. It makes it so hard getting ready. However, it is important to have a church and be there to fellowship with of believers. I also think it's so important for our girls to see it's ok to worship outwardly and not feel uncomfortable about it… Thank you for serving this ministry and best wishes and happiness to you and your family.
Leslie, when we weren't attending on a regular basis, I feared that the new routine of sleeping in on Sundays was going to become favored over getting up, getting dressed & heading out to church. You know teens & their sleep! You don't want to mess with it! But because our church is so, for lack of a better word…fun (!), my girls don't complain at all. My oldest does not wish to attend the youth group they have on Sundays, she would rather sit through worship service with us. As much as I'd like her to be more involved w/her peers in the church, I won't push it. She has her own reasons for wanting to attend the church service so we don't make it an issue. Having her beside us in church is a blessing. Maybe some day she'll become more involved, but for now we are happy to have her beside us. In our other church it was a struggle to get her out the door. Honestly it was a stuggle to get us all out the door! The feeling of going to church as a chore was awful. I'm glad you've found a new church & I pray that as you are there longer your kids will be more excited about going. It never hurts to have that conversation with them as to why they aren't thrilled. We had to do that concerning our old church & found out some heart breaking things. It was no wonder they were unhappy.