Lady in Waiting: Lady of Conviction – Damaged Goods & Destiny

Conviction, strong in my faith, unrealistic, all different ways to describe comments I have gotten based on decisions I have made in my dating life.   As I read the letter that Cindy writes in the beginning of our chapter a few different emotions went through me.  Admittedly, one was cynicism.  (“Oh sure, it’s easy to write a letter like that on the day before your wedding Little Miss Perfect!”), another was kinship (I totally understand the want for a godly man and others thinking I am too “picky”), and yet another was hope (Well she found someone who satisfied her wants, maybe there is hope for me too.).  Sometimes I feel like there are so many mountains to climb between single motherhood and my Christianity that no man is going to want to make the effort.  Yes, there are times when my conviction wavers because I am lonely or I am feeling time ticking by too quickly, but there hasn’t been a time when those feelings were strong enough to compromise my beliefs.

Is this an easy way for us Jesus girls to live in today’s society?  Absolutely not.  But the rewards are what is worth it.  One thing I highly suggest for those of you who aren’t already doing it, it spending time with our Lord, especially when feeling lonely.  Now by spending time with the Lord I don’t mean (just) reading a devotional or your bible, but REALLY spending time with Him in what I call Listening Prayer.  Be still.  Don’t talk.  Ask Him to speak to you.  Focus your mind on him with worship music or repeating a phrase.  (When I have trouble focusing my mind I repeat the phrase “Bring it back to Jesus” as many times as I need to!)  And girls, I promise, He will show up!  My most fulfilling times prayer times are when I am in listening prayer.

It is during a time like this He gave me the hope I needed for when I am hanging onto my convictions by a thread.  I was asking Him about my singleness.  I clearly “heard” Him say to me: “It is going to be amazing”.  Oh I questioned it, whether it was really Him, if I was planting the thoughts, and on and on and on.  Without making this story too long, He did confirm things for me, assuring me that yes, it was Him.  This is what helps me be strong like Ruth was.  She didn’t settle.  She held out for God’s best too.  I love when the author says she got her Boaz instead of a Bozo! 🙂 We deserve better than a bozo too!

Ruth also gives those of us with a past we may not be proud of some hope.  She could have just fell into the cycle of her family’s sins.  Following in the ways of the world at that time (which isn’t much different than what we see today) would have been easy for her.  She could have went back to her family and lived her life the way everyone else was.  But Ruth wanted more.  She made the choice to break the cycle of generational sin and start a new cycle of godly living.

This is something I struggle with a lot.  I lost my virginity through a sexual assault, which sent me into a spiral of poor decisions.  I look back sometimes and I just wish that I had known Jesus back then.  I like to think that I would have handled things differently, although I know there is no guarantee of that.  I see the things I did, the fact that I am not pure, the fact that I have a child out of wedlock, and I wonder how any godly man would want to come anywhere near me.  What I continually try to remind myself is that the man God has for me will see me for the woman I am now.  The way I am living now.  He will give me the grace needed to see through my past and into our future.  That is the man God has for me, and for you too.

How do we stay strong in all these choices we are called to make?  By knowing, and standing by, the convictions given to us in His word, even in the difficult times.   I leave you today with Deuteronomy 30:15 – 20:

 Look at what I’ve done for you today: I’ve placed in front of you: Life and Good, Death and Evil.

And I command you today: Love God, your God. Walk in his ways. Keep his commandments, regulations, and rules so that you will live, really live, live exuberantly, blessed by God, your God, in the land you are about to enter and possess.

But I warn you: If you have a change of heart, refuse to listen obediently, and willfully go off to serve and worship other gods, you will most certainly die. You won’t last long in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.

I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live. And love God, your God, listening obediently to him, firmly embracing him. Oh yes, he is life itself, a long life settled on the soil that God, your God, promised to give your ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

LET’S PRAY

Lord God our Father, thank you for letting us know your wishes for our lives.  So clearly in Your Word we are given your expectations and desires for us.  Thank you also for the gift of free will.  Although through this gift we stumble in the flesh, you are always there with grace, love and forgiveness.  We strive to live in your will for us, live strong in our convictions, and I ask that you supply each and every woman reading this with the strength to live this out.  In Your Name I pray.  Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

What are your convictions when it comes to dating?  Why did you choose these criteria?

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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