December 23, 2024

Lady in Waiting: Why Wait / Physical

 

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a [woman] commits are outside [her] body,

but [she] who sins sexually sins against [her] own body.”

1 Corinthians 6:18 NIV

When I saw my blogging assignment for this week, I began to pray because I knew what the Lord was asking me to do.  Speak and write the truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.  I pray that you will open your heart to receive this truth and not feel in any way condemned.  I am writing out of love for you and to shield you from pain.

To start us off today, I want to present to you two scenarios. In the first place, have you ever wondered why when we taste something that is not to our satisfaction – we say it’s okay or it could have been better?  Or have you heard of a man or woman asking their partner to go and see a therapist because they feel that their partner is not good in bed?  The question that you would ask is this, how do you know that the food you are eating is not good or bad?  It’s because you have tasted something better!  In the same way the man or woman in the example above feels that the other is not good in bed because they have been with other people.  They are comparing their spouse with the girlfriend(s) or boyfriend(s) they had in the past and they feel cheated.

Now imagine your wedding day – you have been looking forward to this day all your life, as a young woman you have dreamed how this day would be because you have been planning this for so many years.  The wedding ceremony was perfect, the food and drinks met your expectations and everyone is going to talk about how beautiful you looked for weeks or months to come.  Now come the wedding night – the honeymoon suite and everything else is so beautiful.  The mood is set for a wonderful evening but afterwards your husband asks you “honey, I thought I was your first!” Can you dare to look at him in the eye and say, I am sorry?

Let me also share some of the questions we received as leaders of the singles group I led at our church: –

How much is too much? –

We are engaged to be married, is it okay to spend the night at his place? –

I love him so I feel it is right to have sex with him as a way of expressing my love, is this ok? –

All my friends do it, why not me?  I will repent and God will forgive me. –

You don’t buy a car without taking it for a test drive.  What if you find out that the person you have married has a deformity in this area?

At first I couldn’t believe I was getting these questions from young men and women who were Christians because I was naïve to think that “church folk” that were saved, who narrated the Bible back to back struggled with such issues.  I realized that if they had it together then we would not be tackling this topic.  When you are coming from the “world” you put Christians in a pedestal and expect that they know everything and don’t struggle with issues the rest of the world does. Girlfriends, when the Bible says “FLEE” it means “RUN”.  This is not the time to be asking if it should be a splint or a big walk or if it’s time to put on running shoes or wait until the water has reached the neck.   You just run!  I am saying this to address the above questions.  Don’t allow yourself to be in a compromising position and expect to stop when it becomes too much.  Our Father loves us so much and does not want us to get hurt as such He warns us to flee from such situations.

I am not sure if you have thought of having sex outside of marriage as sinning against your own body?  Well to be honest with you back then I didn’t know but now I know.  And although I also know that God has forgiven me, the sin has been laid at the cross and buried in the grave, I still have to live with the consequences of my past actions.  My dear sisters, I confessed Christ as my Lord and Savior at 19 but I never really gave all of my life to him.  As a young woman, I bought into the ideologies of the world and lived and did as I pleased.  I had one foot in the church and the other in the world.  I believed that if I loved someone then to express how much I love him, I had to sleep with him.  I wish I knew better.  I wish someone gave me this book to read back then. Beloved what you do now may look harmless but know for sure that you will reap the fruits of your actions.  “Do not be deceived, God cannot be mocked.” Jackie Kendall and Debbie Jones highlights that God wants you to be a Lady of Purity because He wants to protect you from the consequences that sex before marriage brings. These consequences can be physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual.

These are just some of the physical reasons: –

God desires for your precious gift to be given to a committed lover who will cherish, keep, and protect you in marriage. God wants you and your gift to this man to be treasured and cherished, and trampled and conquered. –

God also wants to protect you from the sexually transmitted diseases that could affect not only you, but also your future husband. –

God also desires to shield you from an unwanted pregnancy. Although precautions exist, pregnancy always remains a possibility. A rushed marriage, adoption, or abortion only complicates the consequences.

I pray that you will not fall into the trap of “if you love me then you will sleep with me” like I did. Honor God with your body as much as you honor Him with everything else. For someone who has already gone all the way.  I pray that you will ask God for forgiveness and commit to be pure from this day forward.  The Bible says in 1 John 1:9 “if we confess our sins He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Old habits, old fears, old addictions may approach and afflict us and sometimes we may want to turn back to them. But God is saying to us, “Fix your eyes on Me! If you will let Me be your victory, we will see the last of that.”

Listen to what God is saying!

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LET’S PRAY

Lord, I come before you with a broken and contrite heart.  I ask you to forgive me for sinning against you and my body.  I want a new start from this day forward.  I make this commitment to you and my future husband.  In Jesus Name.  Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Second Samuel 13:1-19 is a painful story of rape, but note the reaction of the man who got what he wanted. After his sexual thirst was quenched, what was his response toward the woman for whom he lusted? How did he feel toward the woman? Why?

Be Blessed,
Jackie
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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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About Jackie Chingawale

Jacqueline (Jackie) Chingawale – Blog Contributor – Singles Ministry Co-Leader
Jackie currently lives in Lilongwe, Malawi, in Africa. She works as an Administrator for a Christian School where she has worked for the last 9 years. She loves to read, cook, and watch television. Her hearts desire is to travel the world one day!

Comments

  1. Thank you Jackie. Great blog. I am going to ask a question maybe some are avoiding, but i have never gotten a clear answer on this… if you are not in a relationship, is masterbation wrong? How are we supposed to suppress that feeling? Does this fall into the category of sinning against your body and why?

    • Jackie Chingawale says

      My friend, let me answer your questions by giving you these scriptures. I pray that the Holy spirit will give you understanding and truth in this matter.

      1 Peter 4:1-2 (Wey) Since, then, Christ suffered in the flesh, you also must arm yourselves with a determination to do the same–because he who has suffered in the flesh has done with sin–that in the future you may spend the rest of your earthly lives, governed not by human passions, but by the will of God.

      Romans 6:13 (NIV) Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness.