Winning Him Without Words: Believe your Marriage is Blessed – The Way to Mismatchdom

Did you know he wasn’t a Christian when you married him?

How many of you have been asked this question from others in your lifetime?   Raise your hand….

For me it was and is always a hard question to answer and I even fear will I be asked today.   It is so hard having to answer this question over and over and you know sometimes when you get asked you know the person asking is genuinely concerned about your marriage and then sometimes you wonder do they ask just to “talk about you” and I think that is the hardest for me.

How many of us made up answers to this question because we just didn’t want to face the facts again?   We thought of many creative ways to tell others “NO I didn’t know that about him”.

 I did know this before I said “I do” and yet I still said “I do”.

As I stated before to all of you I was not taught about marrying a non-believer so to me I thought, no worries, you can change him after you get married, don’t worry now, all is well.

Guess what…..I could not then and even now after all these years “I” still can’t change him.    All I can do is pray that he will allow God to do the changing.

Pg. 84 “God is calling us no matter how we arrived to be the presence of Christ in our husband’s lives”.  You don’t have to hold back any good thing from your husband just because he doesn’t believe in God, instead your loving treatment of him may cause him to have a change of heart!  This is not to say that a wife has the power to save her husband’s soul; only the Holy Spirit can accomplish that, but you can certainly influence your husband (without words no less!) and show him the love of Christ.

We don’t have to brow beat God or have a Gospel ambush onto our man, instead just know that we are to be obedient to Christ and live Him in front of our man. Your man will recognize love when he sees it and if you are being obedient then you are showing him “God’s love”. We must remember we are the conduit to bring God into our marriage.

A good statement I heard in a sermon once is “no one was ever nagged into the kingdom of God”. If our spouse is on the receiving end of criticism and manipulation —they’re going to run. The harder we try, the faster they run.

Don’t give up, God is fully aware of our situation, when we recognize God’s presence we can relax and stop trying to do God’s job and that is when we will begin to enjoy our marriage again, tensions will ease and we won’t have to constantly be talking to our man about our faith, because we are living it in front of them  (remember, actions speak louder than words) they will see!   We aren’t better than our spouse just because we are the believer, he will see right through all that and we must know that this superior attitude is not showing or providing a warm welcome to who Jesus is.

You can speak the Gospel loud and clear by never mentioning the name of Jesus. We’re not authorized to judge others (Matthew 7:1). Sometimes in marriage we’re prone to judge because of what we know —or think we know —about our spouses. We do know that God cares about our mates. The struggle may take time, and may even challenge our faith. We can trust God to nurture our spouses and our marriages.  Scripture says that he may be won, not he will be won. It does not say that because we have a quiet, gentle, and meek spirit that our husband will be saved in two weeks. We need to try not to analyze why our spouse won’t “take hold of the cross.” I have dwelled on this thought many times and realize I am taking up time enjoying him and our life by wondering “when” will he make a decision.

Isaiah 40:31 tells us that those who hope and wait on the Lord will renew their strength. That’s God’s promise of what time spent with Him will produce. This should be our pursuit right now… ask yourself how can I live more victoriously in Christ and be a living and visual testimony to my husband of who Christ is?    When we can answer this question we will “see” and “believe” that our marriage is blessed and as Dineen states on page 84 “we will have no reason to feel shame or condemnation for our choice of a husband.

Let’s pray:

God help each of us to be a walking, talking testimony to our husbands, help us to help them to see Jesus in every moment of our marriage.  In your name I pray, Amen!

Your assignment:

How can you be “the presence of Jesus in your husband’s life this week?   Tell us about it…

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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