This is something I have run through my mind about so many times, thousands of times. I have gotten up on Sunday mornings and wondered Lord will today be the day that my man will surrender everything to You? I look at him as he is lying in the bed and think well it could be Beverly! I picture him getting up and saying honey I think I will go to church with you today (oh and by the way he did go with me yesterday)….I picture him going into the church service…I picture him headed to the pastor telling him “I want to surrender”…..oh what a day that will be!!!
But at this time after years of praying, waiting, and hoping, that is still what I am doing, praying, waiting and hoping.
My husband and I met 37 years and married 33 years ago. At first he attended church with me and then slowly stopped going (which now makes me wonder did he go just for show back then)…until one day he stopped going all together except for special things.
God kept drawing me closer into a relationship with Him and yet my relationship with my husband was not growing the way “I” wanted because I now had something I wanted both of us to have but he was not at that point yet. Oh, other aspects of our marriage were great but this was something that was a standing wall between us.
Yes I could have written the handbook on how NOT to win your spouse to Christ.
I was not a total “Jesus freak.” I would come home and make him sit and listen (I just thought he was listening) to things I was learning in God’s Word. I even packed gospel tracts in his lunch. Most of the time all of which he avoided.
There were times we would be at odds with each other. I would sometimes find that I would blame some of our marital problems on his unsaved status. After all, I thought if we were both Christians, life would be “happy-ever-after.” Or so I imagined. I would begin trying harder to ensure he was hearing God’s messages by playing my Christian music and scattering opened Bibles around the house. Every once and awhile he would go with me to church, but instead of enjoying him sitting next to me in church, I’d sit there chewing nervously on the end of my pen, praying madly that this would be “The Day”, and when it wasn’t, I would quiz him in the car on the way home, “What did you think of the sermon? Did you like the music?”
“It was okay,” he’d say. And his thoughts would turn to “What we gonna eat for lunch?”
The rest of the ride home, I’d sit and fight back tears or angry words. Why couldn’t he see his need for Christ I would ask myself.
One day I met this lady who had told me Beverly pray for him no matter how many years you have to and “DON’T GIVE UP”, so I made that commitment to pray either until I die or he surrenders. And I’m going to love him through every day. Period.
That was 33 years ago ladies—and I’m still praying and still loving. But I’m no longer pining away in self-absorbed isolation waiting desperately for my husband’s salvation to bring marital fulfillment. Instead, I’ve decided no matter how many years, I want those years to be as enjoyable as possible for the both of us, despite our spiritual differences.
God has a plan for each life. And no matter how hard I try, I cannot transform someone else’s heart. I can’t coerce, sweet-talk, or plead my husband into being a Christian. In fact, when I do try, it only drives him away.
I decided long ago to accept that it’s God’s job to change hearts. That decision frees me to pursue my relationship with God without the added burden of having to bring my husband to faith. All I have to do is love and enjoy him. That’s God’s plan for me, and he gives me all the grace I need to accomplish it.
That doesn’t mean I’m not lonely at times or that I do everything right.
Pray, pray, pray. Prayer is my link to God’s presence, power, wisdom, and comfort.
I will “Never” give up hope. God offers everyone the same gift of salvation and eternal life. Some choose to accept it, and others don’t. But all who accept the gift do so in God’s timing, not ours. God knows what he’s doing.
I don’t understand why God does what he does, but I will trust God while I wait.
The truth is, I might not ever see my husband walk a church aisle, and surrender his life but that’s okay. I have hope that I’ll see him walk through heavens gate. In the meantime, I will live my life as an godly example and leave it all with God and let Him do His work.
Let’s Pray
God help us to realize we have no control in changing our husbands, change comes from You so help us all to leave our sweet husbands in Your hands. In your name I pray Amen!
Your assignment:
Share with us one thing that you have done to try and get your husband to accept Christ as his Savior.
For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us! Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple! We hope to see you soon!
Blessings to all of you this week
Love, Beverly
About Beverly McCormick
I leave church articles up on the computer so he will see them when he sits down. I leave christian evangelist books in places i know he will sit and see them (For instance i currently have 'Not a Fan' sitting in the bathroom on top of his stack of magazines). I have even resorted to breaking down and crying. I feel so much better knowing I am not alone in doing these crazy tactics, i just feel so desperate for his salvation sometimes.
Ashley thanks for sharing with us and know that we are in this together. I am praying you up and I say lets just give it to God and enjoy watching Him change them!!! Have a great day Ashley!
I would leave open Bibles laying around with certain passages starred and underlined. I don't do this anymore, but I still play my Christian music (unless he doesn't want to hear it). 🙂
Thanks for sharing Jennifer. And one day it will be great to know we can be open. That is what I am praying for all of us!
oh boy! thanks, beverly, for being so open…i love this part that you wrote, "One day I met this lady who had told me Beverly pray for him no matter how many years you have to and “DON’T GIVE UP”, so I made that commitment to pray either until I die or he surrenders. And I’m going to love him through every day. Period." unconditional love. <3
well, one time i signed him up (and paid for his ticket) to a promise keepers convention. :-O not good. he forgave me. <3
Thanks Coleen for sharing that with us. Ain't we so funny in what we are doing to get them to "see"…..and knowing all along that only God can remove those scales from their eyes and callouses from their heart! Have a great day Coleen!
Great Blog Beverly!! I learned as lot, thank you!!
Thanks Donna….have a wonderful day!
Beverly you are inspiring and challenging. I am so glad to have someone like you to encourage us. We live in a world where everybody advises you to hang the towel saying you are better off on your own because they don't understand why you are still with someone who doesn't share your faith. I will continue to pray for my husband until he surrenders completely to the Lord or until I breath my last.
Thanks Jackie and I too will be lifting you up. Stay strong my sister and keep walking that path an He will bless you!!!
Thank you Beverly 🙂 I am relatively new to this journey but your honesty provides me with great insight & helpful advice. Umm…neon notecards & couples devotionals – need I say more?
Thanks for sharing with us today and know that I am standing in the gap not only for you but with you! Have a great day!
I have texted him Scripture throughout the day.
Thanks for sharing Amanda
Thanks for reaching out and being so real and upfront with us, Beverly! <3 U Girl!
Thanks Christi sometimes that is hard for us to hear but much harder to share with others, we just need to keep in mind that God does that with us so we need to do and be the same for others, this is what helps us all to GROW in Him and even though its hard I am liking this growing thing!
How to reach my daughter who believes but won't go to church because of him. So much control. Not that he is physically abusive, but rather psychologically (pouter, like a 3 yr. old, silent treatment). He refuses to allow any element of Christian talk in their home. I'm concerned for her walk w/ the Lord because she is not being spiritually fed. And the children are not allowed to hear and know.
Martha, God will allow these little ones to hear of Him but he may not use you to be the one because of how close the relationship is..it is very hard I know to sit back and wait but wait we must do. Keep on praying and NEVER stop…pray for an interceding miracle to overcome him so that God can get thru to the whole family…I know you are praying but just keep it up and maybe get a team Of ladies to hold a daily prayer vigil specifically for this to be answered and pray every day at a certain time until his heart is opened…I promise to write this is my journal to pray for each evening until an answer comes! Thanks for sharing your heart desire with us
Thanks Beverly. Sometimes it depresses me and I just feel so oppressed trying to pray for them. Spiritual warfare, I know. Yes, you are right, I do need some women friends to stand with me on this! I had the same word on this from another friend.
thanks Martha! WOW sounds like confirmation God is showing you! and let the prayer meetings begin!
Because I am new to my faith structure, I really don't try to 'change' my husband's views. I have found that my husband's faith is in consistent and this confuses me to the point that I don't know how to even approach him about my new path.
thanks for sharing Mandi….the best way to approach him is to LIVE Jesus in front of him…he will see Who lives in you and Who has control of your words and actions….and then that one big day will come when you will be a team together on that new path
Though I have released him a long time ago, I used to really pull some dillies to get him to go to church with myself and our two little girls. I guess my biggest thing was playing the guilt trip on him, and pouting like a spoiled kid. It never worked.
thanks for sharing Martha…yeah I tried that pouting thing too…and you are right those pouts never do work…but good thing is we aren't gonna let that get us down…we are gonna stand strong and Live it so they can see and one day receive….