Choices. Doesn’t it seem like we are making choices constantly from the time we get up, until the time we go to bed? What’s for breakfast? What to wear? What route to take to work? Meet that friend for dinner? All day long we are called on to decide. Many of these decisions are not life changers. We don’t fall to our knees and ask God if we should have raisin toast or Cheerios. Thankfully, most choices we make are based more on preferences than facing a real consequence.
In our book, we see a difficult life changing decision that Ruth had to make. Should she stay with ‘her people’ or does she follow God and go with Naomi? As we know, Ruth made the decision to follow God, and we see the blessings she received because of it. How did God reward Ruth’s choice to follow Him rather than the “do whatever you want”, hedonistic society she came from? He provided her with a godly husband, a son who would be King David’s grandfather and inclusion in the lineage of Jesus Christ. Not a bad deal!
As single women in our society, we have to decide to break from the “American way” constantly. Sometimes this is not easy. I know personally there are times when I am tempted to take the easy way out. Why not have a few drinks? I will be more relaxed. Why not watch those movies? I’m not hurting anyone. Why not let that guy in even though I know he isn’t the right one for me? I’m lonely. Why not sacrifice my purity? Girls, I know these are not easy decisions, and these scenarios are just a few that we face. Our friends may treat us differently when we make the right choice, we may even lose some of those friends.
We may face lonely weekend nights because we have nowhere to go. We may be made fun of, or looked down on. I was actually told by a male friend that I would never have the chance to get married because I won’t have premarital sex. Now I KNOW that is not true, it isn’t God’s truth, but don’t you know that during those times when the nights are long, and hope is fleeting, the enemy uses those words. I have wondered if maybe my friend was right, and I will never find someone because I don’t follow the way of this world. These are the times I need to cling to Him, and His truth and have faith that that is what is real. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires. (2 Peter 2:4)
But why? Why bother following His ways when the other ways seem to be so much more fun, or seem to have a better pay off. I say to some trusted friends all the time, “I don’t understand, why do I have to be “perfect” for God to give me someone? This Christian here is messed up, that one over there is messed up, yet God gave them someone to love them. Why am I different? Why not me? Does God think I’m not good enough? Is he punishing me?”
Girls, the reality is that God is not punishing us in our singleness, and we are definitely worth it. He has amazing plans for us, if only we put our trust in Him. Look what He says in Matthew 19:29: And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. Ruth received her 100 times. She found her godly husband and all that went along with that. Is that God’s plan for all of us? I can’t say it is. What I do know is that the rewards for following Him are far greater than any temporary pleasure that come of following the ways of this world. Stay strong girls. You are worth it!!
Let’s Pray
Father God, we ask you to give us strength. We want to stay strong in your promises. Some days the temptation of worldly sin seems so strong. We don’t know if we have what we need to overcome it. But we know that when we don’t have what we need, you supply it. In Your strength we can conquer anything and make the choices that are best for us. We know you have amazing plans for us. Even when we don’t know exactly what they are, we rest in the promise that they exist. Thank you Lord for being there for us in our weakness. In Your Name we pray. Amen.
Your Assignment
Please leave a comment below sharing your struggles with obedience. Is it hard to resist the temptations of this world? If you don’t struggle, what are some of the strategies you use to avoid these feelings? How can we pray for you?
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God bless,
Michelle
About Michelle Graziano
Thanks Michelle. Your post echoed my sentiments exactly. Sometimes I do feel like God is punishing me. 🙁
I fall into that trap sometimes too, especially if I am feeling guilty about something (whether real or imagined…) Remember to go to the Word in times like that. God's Truth is the only thing that can drown out those lies! xo
The biggest struggle I think I face with the world right now is the decision not to go into debt for things I don't need but would be nice to have. My hubby would love yo have a truck. I would love to do that for him. But we can't do it. I wild love to retire our minivan and etc something newer but this one is paid off and we don't have the money for another. Sometimes my husband is the biggest hurdle in this struggle because I have a hard time telling him no. We will eventually have these things but waiting is difficult in a world if instant gratification.
Delayed Gratification pays off in the end, Tracy!
Oh, I understand that completely. That also ties into my food issues because "I want it now!" I don't want to delay that gratification to become healthier in the future. As with anything, we have to look at the bigger reward we get by waiting (a Godly husband, a truck, a smaller jeans size, whatever it is…)
You said it perfectly when you said why not let that guy in even though I know he is not the right one for me. That is where I have struggled, and by the grace of God hope to never struggle with that again. Some times I am tempted on Friday and Saturday nights to "go out" with my non christian friends. In order to resist those temptations I am a spiritual coach for a ministry, its all online, I sign up for Friday nights so it gives me something else to look forward to and to keep me from the temptations of going out to a place I know I should not be. I also go to church now on Saturday nights. That has helped my weekends still be focused on my relationship with God, no one else:)
Your comment just goes to show that there are many ways that you CAN beat not only the loneliness, but the temptations!! Way to reach out to others Diane, and put God first!
I absolutely LOVE the strategies you have used to fight your struggles. Not only are you avoiding the temptation, which is hard enough, but you are replacing the temptation with service to and for God. Awesome!
Michelle, know one will ever know how many times in my life after I started God seriously that I have wished I could go back and undo what I did in my past! WAITING is so important. Making the right choices…even if it is uncomfortable today, WILL pay off in the end. Stay Strong Girlfriend!!!
Thanks Christi! There are so many time I wonder "What if…." and that just isn't healthy. The biggest "What if" is "What if I had been a Christian back then…" I tend to romanticize things and think that everything would have perfect or I would have healed so much faster, or I would have made different choices, but that is not necessarily true…I need to remember that.
I too have often thought that God is having me be alobe because of the lifestyle I chose for so many years. But through Celebrate Recovery and good Christian friends, God has shown me it is not punishment but a privilege at this time to be able to spend my time with Him. He is to be the love of my life for now. If or when He sends someone in my life, then I will be ready. I still have times of wanting the 'Charles Ingalls' and Little House life, but have learned not to question too much. I do trust He will provide but flesh comes in sometimes. Yes, I also think, ' but what would going out and having fun hurt?' Then He reminds me of where I was to be thankful of where He has me. Love this study!!
I definitely smiled when I read the "Charles Ingalls" comment, 🙂 I get it! Keep pressing on and trusting in Him…he has your best interest at heart.
I have a friend at work that is trying to get me to buy a sexy nighty. I am going to visit a friend and she thinks I need to take it with me. I tell her I won't do that because that is not how God wants to get his attention. She does not understand the no sex before marriage. I am not going to put myself in that situation.
Stay strong Chelle! The man who God has for you will appreciate the nighty much more after you are married 🙂 It is easier not to go down that road rather than try to veer off when you hit the fork in the road.
Oh my gosh, Michelle, this post brought me to tears because you hit on so many points that I feel constantly…thoughts I have. I know they're lies, but I get so angry with God sometimes. I've been rejected because I won't have sex. My purity ring is a point of conflict. It's painful because some of those guys I really liked! And, at times, I've justified them in my life – "they have a good heart" or "they really like me or care about me." No matter the lie, the conviction from the Holy Spirit – telling me "Not yet; he's not the one I have for you" is impossible to ignore. Diane – I love your Friday night strategy! Saturday night church has been wonderful for me, as well.
Carissa, I understand. It is so easy sometimes to try to rationalize things so that you "think" you are pleasing God and getting what you want too. But when that conviction comes, we know we are not really doing right by ourselves OR God, and we need to check our thinking. Hang in there, we are going to conquer this!
from a man’s perspective – sex? premarital sex? this is not the key issue. the key issue is self respect for a man or a woman. If you construct a quality life to include nutrition, fitness, work, rest, spiritual quiet times, perhaps child caring or elder caring and communion with your community of friends, family and church/synagogue/mosque, chances are you don’t have much time left out of the week’s 168 hours. So with that little remaining time, should sex be a part? if you ask me, sex is not the question. The question is ‘should friendship and companionship with a man be given some of your precious time”? Answer: yes, if he is uplifting to your person, is respectful, is helpful to your life, is complimentary to your life, if being around him makes you feel a better, more fulfilled person in your own right. That is a big order. Chances are, a man like this is not only rare, but when a relationship moves into the sexual it will feel positive and uplifting. It won’t be about “letting a man in”. It will be about “this man is a person whom I value and want to share my most precious thoughts and feelings with”. When you think about it, sexual relations are the embodiment of communicating feelings of care, love, and ‘giving’ and there is nothing wrong with it, when it is real. Even if it occurs before a marriage. So long as you feel that you respect yourself “more” afterwards because of the honesty of your actions than if you were to abstain. The challenge for women, any woman, christian or jew or muslim or hindu, is to find the right man with whom to share your most sacred feelings. That is hard to do because good people – good women, good men, good parents, are all so hard to find in the sea of people who do not live by high values and have high self worth.