We can depend on the Lord to show us where we are today in our marriage and where He wants us to be in the future. (Lynn Donovan, pg. 27)
My husband is not a believer. Although he supports me, he does not share my faith. I have come to accept his decision and respect his choice; however, there will always be a part of my life that I feel I cannot share with him.
And it hurts.
My belief in God began at a very young age. My relationship with Him began only two years ago; four years into my marriage. It was like a light bulb clicked on and life finally made sense to me. My friend invited me to a women’s retreat with her church. I accepted. And life has never been the same. But, my zeal for God seems to not make sense to my husband. At first, I had to hide my faith. I hid my Bible. When I was going to a Bible Study, I would tell him I was going to meet with some new friends from church. When we got in the car to go somewhere, I immediately changed the Christian radio station to the more mainstream station he prefers.
I had no idea how to act. I felt isolated and alone. There was this newfound blossoming of faith within me, but I could not share it with the one person who is closest to me. I felt like I was living a double life.
In fact, I still am.
I am still trying to figure out how to live this spiritually mismatched life. Although I have come a long way (I can now openly read my Bible in front of my husband and talk about my church activities without feeling uncomfortable), I still flounder. God still has much to teach me about honoring Him despite my circumstances.
“It matters not how we came to be in our crazy, mixed-up and unexpected marriage situation. What matters is that God desires that we honor our marriage commitment and fulfill our marriage vows through His power and His strength. We can’t do it on our own.” (Lynn, pg. 28)
Lynn’s message hit me at my core. God wants our marriages to be beautiful and thriving. He desires us to honor our commitment and fulfill our vows. And the only way we can do it is through HIS POWER and HIS STRENGTH.
We cannot do it on our own.
Did you catch that?
We cannot do it on our own.
And why would we want to?
We live for a Savior who desires to do life with us. That actually gives me a sense of peace. I am truly not alone in this. Our Heavenly Father is walking right alongside us, infusing us with power and strength every single day. He knows the aching of our hearts. He knows our longings. He wants the same thing for our husbands and for our marriages. He will not leave us flailing.
And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:20(b), NIV)
***
Let’s Pray: Lord, help us to see and to understand that we truly are not alone in our mismatched marriages and that you are right there, walking side-by-side with us through every step. Show us how to release the pain that binds us and causes anguish in our spirit for our unsaved spouse. Provide us with your power and your strength to get through each day and teach us to fix our eyes solely on You, the One responsible for our husband’s salvation. In Jesus’ precious name, I pray, Amen.
Your Assignment: Leave a comment below telling us one thing you can do for your spouse today to honor God and your marriage.
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Blessings to you,
Jennifer
Thanks for a great post Jennifer.
Thank you, Jackie!
I will honor my husband by asking him how his day was when he gets home. I heard on the radio a few weeks ago that this is the most important question a wife can ask her husband. Even though my marriage is not an "unequal yoked marriage" this is a good question for all of us. Thanks Jennifer.
Yes, it is! Often we get home and get into our normal routines. We can definitely be more intentional by asking our hubbies about their day!
I will honor my husband by listening to what he says.
Listening is SO important! We can hear what they say, but do we LISTEN to what they are saying? Very important difference! Thanks for the reminder!
I will be praying for him as he travels today and I will only speak kindly and positively about him in all conversations
One of the best things we can do for our hubbies is pray! And always talk positively about them with other people. Thanks, Megan!
Yes listining is the best thing we can do and I mean really listen. I recieved this good advice years ago from my Aunt. She also gave me this advice. We are going to church to worship our God. We go to Sunday school to Learn and church to worship.
When you go to church focus on why you are there. Listen to the message and follow the service in the book. Don't worry about what others are doing You are there to worship. Take notes during the sermon. Reflect on the Bible readings and your notes during your daily prayer time at home. This time is for YOU.
If you want to be social,to get to know people at your church, volunteer to help in the kitchen during pot lucks. They are usually on Sundays. Stay for coffee. Look for other women who are there alone and say good morning and tell them your name. They may also be looking for some one to speak to. This was hard but I did it. Also find out what activities your church has and if you can get involved. Do not exclude your husband. You may find an activity that he might be interested in.I found out that our church had a boating course. We took the class together. And no, we do not have a boat.LOL Oh, and if your church is close to your home you may have friends who already go there.
Remember Going to church is for you.It is your time. Have a cup of coffee some time during the day and enjoy your quiet bible time. We all need to strengthen ourselves. Then pray,then let God work on it.( Lets all pray for all the men today) I pray that God will work in my husband's and son's life and do what ever he has planned for them. My son has not set foot in a church for 21 years. I know the seed is there. So pray for your sons too.
I am sorry this is so long. I could not get to sleep last night and all this was streaming into my head and I just had to share.
G.L.U.A.S.D.I.
Beth
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Beth! You bring up a lot of good points! We are definitely at church to focus on the Lord. I love to take notes during the sermon, so that is a great idea that I highly recommend as well. It helps to keep me focused on the message and not on my surroundings! Also, I agree that persistent prayer is the best thing we can do for the men in our lives! Thanks for your comment!
Beth just wondering what the initials stand for that are before your name?
Amanda, I can't speak for Beth, but I think it means "God loves U and so do I". She could probably confirm, though, in case I am wrong! 🙂
respect one another and do not take them for granted.
Absolutely. We tend to take each other for granted, though, don't we? That is a very good thing to remember. Thank you for sharing.
Recently I read a neat thing we can all do for our husbands. Every time you look at your wedding ring, think of it as a string around your finger reminding you to pray for him. So during the day, each time I look down at my wedding ring, I will say a prayer over my husband.
Wonderful post, Jennifer! I have done the same things as you…hid my bible, changed the station in the car before he got in, watched Joyce Meyer when he wasn't around, but now I do it all out in the open. He won't listen to the Christian music, but he doesn't make fun of me or anything like that when I do watch a Christian show or read my bible like I thought he would. I think I had all that judgement in my own head. I was assuming he would judge me, but he never has. I'm glad I stepped out of my comfort zone and am more free to be me infront of him. Of course my dream would be for him to join me in these activities, but for now I am happy to be an example. 🙂
Yes good idea. I always have my ring on . Sood reminder
I love that, Sarah! I will definitely remember to do that from now on when I look at my ring! I always absently twist it around on my finger!!
I also have come out of my shell and read my Bible, listen to music, and talk about church in the open. It's taken a while, but he accepts where I am. And I respect his boundaries. If he doesn't want to listen to the Christian radio station, then I turn the channel. God has played a huge part in that, as well, though!! We have come a LONG way in a short time! It's amazing and it's all because of HIM!!
I will honor my husband by not allowing other things to come before him! I LOVE THIS BLOG today, Jen!!! You are amazing!
Aw, thanks Christi! Love ya, girlfriend! 🙂
Great post Jennifer!!!
Thank you!!!!
Jennifer, I am no longer married, but I was married for 14 years and one of the things that I used to do to honor God and my spouse was not talk bad about him to family and friends; I prayed for him and tried to uplift him wherever I went.
Yes, that is one thing that is very good to remember. Sometimes when we are mad or upset at our spouse, we can start talking bad about them to other people. It's so important to always honor them with our speech, no matter what wrong we feel they may have committed against us.
I will speak positive and encouraging things about him, in front of him and to others. I will pray for him daily, walk beside him and be his friend even on his bad days. Thank you for this beautiful post!
Thank you! I think it is beautiful when we can uplift and be encouraging to our spouse, even if we don't feel like it!
Pray for him and show gratitude for all he does. Give him my attention.
Attention is a really good way to honor your husband. I know that I find myself half listening or doing something on the computer and not paying attention to what he is saying. I need to truly give my husband my full attention when he is speaking to me. Thank you for the reminder!!!
This is a great post. Thank you for sharing. I try to honor him by doing the little things, He loves a made bed, so that has been my goal. Also, God led me to do something to bless him every time he upsets me. 🙂
Oh, Tonya, bless your heart! I wish I could do that!!! I think I would need to be very intentional about doing something to bless my husband when he upsets me!! I think I would forget!!! 🙂
I will be praying for him and showing him love and encouragement. I won't nag or get frustrated over things he should but doesn't do. I will love him for the wonderful man that he is…..the man I fell in love with so many years ago. <3
Oh, boy. I'm a big-time nagger. I get so frustrated sometimes. I really need to release that to God. Thank you for posting this. Through you, God has really convicted my heart. <3
Thanks Jennifer…today I will honor my husband by putting him first above things on my list.
Good for you, Beverly! Sometimes we really need to be intentional about making our marriages a priority!
Great post Jennifer. You are doing a great job for the GCH Women's group. God Bless
Thank you so much, Angie! God Bless!
He's so wonderful about helping out with my mom, who is not well at all, by taking her to dialysis at 6:00 am three times a week, other doctor appointments, hospitals for testing and don't forget the hair appointments. I will give him an extra special thank you today and let him know how much I appreciate him.
Becky, that is beautiful. I cannot imagine how tough that must be on your family. I'm sure your husband appreciates that extra "thank you"!
Thanks Jennifer. I am so impressed with all the comments regarding respect. Today I will speak my husband's love language – words of affirmation- to tell him how thankful I am for the sacrifices he makes daily for our family.
Me too! It is so hard to show respect when we don't quite feel it. But it is one of the best things we can do for our spouse. I'm sure your husband truly appreciated your kind words today!
thanks, jennifer, for sharing your heart in your blog today. i believe the 2nd best way for us to be able to support and encourage one another through this journey is by being open and transparent. the VERY best way, of course, is to pray LOTS for one another.
so…your question: i can honor God and my husband today by keeping my husband in the position that God put him in—my head. "But I want you to know and realize that Christ is the Head of every man, the head of a woman is her husband, and the Head of Christ is God"(1 corinthians 11:3) so, that is:God…Christ…robert. (i didn't say it, God did.) <3
I agree, Coleen! It is hard laying it all out there, though! 🙂 I know God will use it to bless someone, so I put my full trust in that! Thank you <3
Thank you, Jennifer, for sharing this post and your heart with us today! I honor my husband by supporting him, respecting him, listening to him, and letting him know by my words and other various ways how important he is to me. I also pray for my husband every day. God bless you!
Prayer is the best thing we can do for our husbands. I am striving to do everything else each day! I'll admit that God has to help me sometimes! 🙂
I am trying to honor him by having a gentle and quiet spirit according to 1 Peter 3:4. That will take a lot of doing for me, but I am trying to give honor due him.
Heehee! I think that is tough for many of us in a mismatched marriage, Martha! I think our actions speak louder than our words do, though.
Great Post Jennifer!! I honored my Husband today by stopping by our
Basics co-op and picking up the needed supplements & probiotics he needs. He doesn't have time to do it himself always and It will surprise him when he come home and doesn't have to do it! I also try to listen to him and NEVER talk bad about him with other women. He told me he appreciated that I don't "husband bash"!
That was so nice of you, Donna! I'm sure your husband truly appreciated that blessing today! And I so agree about the 'husband bashing'. It can be hard sometimes, especially depending on the people we are around, but we really have to be intentional about not speaking badly about our husbands. We should always honor them with our speech.
Pray over him and serve him. He had a wisdom tooth extracted yesterday.
Ouch! I'm sure he will appreciate the prayers and extra love today! Praying he feels better very soon!
Thank you for this post. It was right on the spot for me. I have been home sick today with a migraine but am finally feeling better. I honor my husband by praying for him daily, but tonight I will honor him with a home cooked dinner. He was going to stop at Subway and buy us sandwiches because I am not feeling well. I told him that I was going to cook him dinner. It is not fair for him to work all day and come home to a cold sandwich. It is the least I can do to spend the 15 minutes it will take to grill some fish to make him feel special.
First, Dora, I'm glad you are feeling better. I have suffered from migraines in the past and I know how debilitating they can be! Second, what a beautiful way to honor your husband! I'm sure he loved sharing the meal with you!
I honored my husband today by speaking words of encouragement when he came home from work instead of demands and honey- do's.
Hi Liz! Good for you! It's easy to make our demands and give our lists of things we want done, isn't it? I bet he felt really loved by your encouraging words today.
Thanks so much for the post Jennifer!! I will honor my husband today by letting him know through my actions that I love him, respect him, listen to him and believe in him. Thank you Lord for my husband!
Actions definitely speak louder than words, right?!?! I have to always keep that in mind!
I can listen and keep my mouth shut!!!!!! I can also give him a hug and sloppy kiss when he gets home.
LOL! Listening is definitely a good thing – making sure you know what he is saying before you respond. I bet he appreciated that hug and kiss, too! heehee
I am making a deliberate effort to cancel my own things tonight and spend more personal time with him, sit down and have a meaningful conversation about our lives. Like we did while dating. This is honoring my husband because his love language is personal touch and affirmation. He desires for me to put him first in my life. Though that spot is reserved for God, I can show him he comes next.
Ashley, that is wonderful! I pray you had a blessed evening of alone time with your hubby!
Pray for him. I am grateful for him and I choose to express to him how thankful I am to have him.
Prayer is the best thing we can do for our husbands! Thanks for your comment, Harriet! <3
I will honor him by having the house sparkling and dinner ready or close to ready when he gets home after working all day so that I can be home with the kids. This will be huge because lately I have really slacked on this 🙂 but today is a new day 🙂
I love that we can start fresh every day! I needed that reminder not to continue old patterns and that I can make a change each day. Thanks!