Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom Shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I, Send me!

Isaiah 6:8

Wow, what a week to have me blog for this chapter!  I just came back from a life changing trip to Nicaragua.  This wasn’t my first mission trip though, in fact, last year I went to Guatemala with all intentions of going back. God started working on me way before we left on August 11.  I signed up to go to Guatemala then a Proverbs 31 She Speaks conference was scheduled in the same month – due to financial reasons I had to choose one or the other.  I chose Proverbs 31 as I felt like God was working on me to expand my personal ministry and begin writing or speaking.  So….I registered for the conference.  A few weeks later at church I see where my own church is taking their first independent mission trip to Nicaragua! Immediately God let me know that I was supposed to be on that team  – so I cancelled the conference registration and joined the missionary team.   My wonderful husband had given me the conference money which I now needed for the mission trip and I was able to raise the rest without issue. Yes, God was at work.  When I almost raised all the money needed, the people at work asked me how much more I needed, I told them $125 – they raised $82 for me.  I talked to our pastor taking us, his records had me only owing $80 and I had just received $82!  I preface this story telling you this so you understand how from the very beginning, when I was asking God to show me what ministry activity I was supposed to participate in – He was there – setting me up the entire time.

With that resolved, Like Priscilla in our story today, I now prayed for a broken heart – for the biggest, cracked, shattered, brokest broken heart because you just can’t heal one that is unbroken.  I truly wanted to FEEL the pain, I wanted to understand, I didn’t just want to go through the motions.  I needed to be broke.  Does that make sense?

The first 5 days of our mission trip were spent in a village called Salinas Grande.  It is on the ocean and is built around a salt mine. It was about 8 miles of dirt roads, Many houses were lean-to’s wrapped in black plastic, some were block but were open to weather.  People rode horses and yes, we saw many horses with make-shift wagons (piece of flat plywood) that they would ride multiple people or things on.  Most had electricity with mostly 1 lightbulb hanging for light. However running water was not an everyday gift in most houses.  People went with buckets and containers to get their water; sometimes on bikes, sometimes on horses, sometimes walking.   Oh yes, the heart was breaking already.  Thank you Jesus.  How can we have so much and they have so little?  Why God?

We met a 90-year-old beautiful, precious woman at one of the feeding programs.  She was manually hoisting the water from a very deep well with a bucket and pulley.  Our guys tried to lift the water to see how she managed, they could not lift it far!  God, she’s 90 and happy, I said.  This is life for her; but why? We all have clean running water into our homes – and this elderly sweet lady had to drop a bucket into a well for hers?  More heart break….I gave this woman the biggest hug I could possibly give.  There is no language barrier with a hug!  And the GREATest news…..We had a person on our team who dealt with water pumps at work and we were able to give this her running water at the flip of a switch.  No more pulling her water up with a 10 gallon bucket!

The children were beautiful.   They would come to the feeding programs at lunch time and get a nice hot lunch. These are funded by missionary teams through Open Eyes Ministries. They would come up on bikes or walking with their empty bowls and spoons and for some, this might be the only full meal a day they get.   Can you feel my heart shattering…..being totally broken.  And I prayed for this! I needed this!  The ladies would cook over their fires, no stoves for them, preparing a big bowl of rice, a big bowl of beans, and a big bowl of some kind of meat and vegetables and we would serve these beautiful little people.  We’d play with them – they loved to play ‘football’ (soccer), we had some doing the hokey pokey with us and a translator – All God’s people, but living a different kind of life.

We went into a pastor’s home for a sewing ministry – the young girls were learning how to sew and were making school uniforms to help furnish uniforms to the children at schools that didn’t have the money for them.  Someone in ministry had gotten them Brother Sewing Machines to work with – they looked so out-of-place in this pastors open house with chickens and little biddies running through it – they even had a couple of green parakeets  running around – but they were happy.  It was HOT and there wasn’t much air running through the house, but here these girls sat learning a trade  because someone cared.  Amazing Grace! God is so good! The navy blue skirts they made had perfect pleats.  I stood in awe.  I had to donate to this ministry.  They were working so hard to give back and they didn’t have enough themselves.  —-crash, shatter—-bang…

I know this is getting long-winded, but I have to tell you about the final straw!  We went into the schools to teach lessons to the children. We taught Honesty, Optimism, Integrity, and on the last day we took them the gospel.  I had the opportunity for the first time to stand up in front of this class and teach them about taking Jesus into their hearts, asking for forgiveness of their sins, teaching them that their slate would wash clean, and they would be new.  In my class, I had 22 students and a teacher pray the prayer of salvation!  Oh be still my heart!  Further shatter…..completely broken – emotionally exhausted.  We had 94 total give their hearts in the school that day!

I will end by telling you that I left Nicaragua with a shattered, broken, destroyed heart.  God made sure that it would never be the same again.  Even as it healed, the remnants of the cracks would remain.   I now know that my heart is in ministry for the lost.  For those that do not know Jesus Christ.  I am on a life mission to be part of the groups that change things in the world for those are less fortunate, and many times lost.   I won’t ever be the same person after this trip.  God used it to change me so I in turn could change the lives of others.  I’m thankful to Jesus for shattering my heart. For showing me the way.  I pray that if you have never had your heart spiritually broken, you pray for it.  Pray that God takes it and shatters in it pieces. The beauty of what you feel afterwards will change your life as it did mine.

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Let’s Pray

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for breaking my heart.  Thank you for allowing me to share my broken heart with others; allowing me to be a vessel for you.  Bless each one that reads this blog today and each one that doesn’t.  I pray that you will work in our lives, in our hearts, and mold us and shape us to be missionaries to the world – starting right here in our own towns and cities.  Thank you for the running water, the electricity, the way of life we have here in the USA.  Work with us so that we can take some of our wealth, spiritually and otherwise, to other places in the world, blessing your children there as we are blessed.  We ask these things in your name, Amen.

Your Assignment:

Perhaps you’ve been burned when trying to reach out too drastically, people have taken advantage of you or misunderstood your motives; but when you to go minister Christ’s love to another person, what is your real reason for going?  What’s a better way to evaluate your success than with measurable, feel-good results alone?

After you have commented below, go back to our Online Bible Study Group on Facebook to see what our Daily FUN Activity is. If you do not yet belong to our OBS Facebook group, and would like to, please send an email to:

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We’ll send you the details needed to get you into this group!

Don’t forget to stop by Craig’s blog to see what the guys are up to with The Resolution for Men.

www.adversusmundi.wordpress.com

With Big Hugs and a Big Heart, 

<3 Kelley

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