December 23, 2024

Captivating: Chapter 4 – The Messages of our Wounds

January 30, 2013 by

Three years ago, I stepped into the office of my counselor.  Nervous and excited (but mostly nervous) I was there to discuss my past relationships with men.  I was there to figure out how to forgive myself for the sins of my past.  I was there to talk about my ex-boyfriends and the issues in our relationships.  Boy, was I surprised when my counselor threw me a curve ball. We spent the majority of the time talking about the messages, rather the lies, I had come to believe about myself, about forgiveness, about relationships, and about God.

Our wounds produce the messages we believe.

These messages are exactly what the enemy wants us to believe, defend, and keep alive.  As we defend these messages daily through our actions and thoughts, we give the enemy victory.  But here’s the truth: the only power Satan has over us is the power that we give him.

I don’t know your story, I don’t know how you’ve been hurt in the past, and I don’t know how you may even be hurt in the future.  But God does.  God has messages for you to hear, too.  He’s waiting for you to trade in those evil messages that try to control you.  He wants to exchange those messages for His messages of affirmation, love, beauty, strength, boldness, self-worth, and perfection in Him.

Paul defines our methods of war against the enemy and his lies in 2 Corinthians 10:3-5.

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.  The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to DEMOLISH STRONGHOLDS <aka the messages, the lies>.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

So these weapons with which we fight…what are they? They are the spiritual armor of God found in Ephesians 6:14-17: the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit.

Psalm34_4

 

So how do we gear up? I believe before we try to pile on all of the armor, we have to get rid of the stinky, smelly, worn-out rags we’ve been wearing until now.  They stink!  I encourage you to spend time today taking off those rags, removing those messages or lies that you’ve come to believe.  Some of the strongholds in your life may be apparent and some you may not know.  Ask God to reveal them to you.  Ask Him to remove the rags, to cleanse you, and prepare you for the future battles waged in your mind and in your heart.  David writes in Psalm 34:4, “I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” He will deliver you, too.  All you must do is surrender your strongholds to Him, and let Him heal your heart.

Praise Him,

Carissa

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Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father, we praise You for the power You have and the power You’ve given to us through Your son, Jesus.  Father, the enemy’s lies are all around us; reveal those lies to us.  Help us to denounce each and every one of the strongholds in our lives, surrendering them to You.  Take them, Lord, they are Yours.  Cleanse our hearts and renew our minds as You have promised. In your precious Name, Amen.

Your Assignment

Sit with God today and ask Him to reveal the messages you may have come to believe. Denounce and surrender those messages to Him.

What are the things you have come to believe about yourself through hurts you experienced as a little girl?

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If you are interested in joining this Online Singles Bible Study, click HERE.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send Carissa a private email in regards to this blog post, you may email her at:  Carissa@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

 

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 3 – “Letting Go” – The Commitment Choice

January 21, 2013 by

Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.

Matthew5_5

Good morning ladies, we have admitted we are powerless to control our lives and that we are not God.  We also acknowledged God exists, we matter to Him and that He has the power to help us recover.  His word says, “ Come to Me, ALL who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me.  I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”  Matthew 11:28-30.

So, WHAT’S HOLDING US BACK?  What is keeping us from letting go and letting God? What is stopping us from receiving that peace that surpasses ALL understanding?  His Word says that even the winds and the sea obey Him.  He healed lepers, caused the blind to see and the lame to walk. When His beloved Peter kept his eyes on Him, he walked upon the water.  The grass grows, trees sway in the wind, waves hit the shore and mountains reach into the clouds.  So – again, WHAT’S HOLDING US BACK?

In Life’s Healing Choices, John Baker talks of five things that keep us from making the choice to surrender total care and control to the One True God:

  •       Pride
  •       Guilt
  •       Fear
  •       Worry
  •       Doubt

Let’s take one at a time:

Pride, what a powerful word.  When  I see the word pride, the scripture that comes to mind is Proverbs 16:18 – “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”  It is often times we think we can do things on our own, we don’t need help.  I know because I continued thinking I could walk away from the lifestyle I chose on my own, only to fall within a few days – sometimes hours.  When I surrendered completely to Him, humbled myself and realized without God I could do nothing, He took the desires away.  He restored relationships I had destroyed and showed me His unfailing love.  I would like to share a song He used to bring me into the reality of how awesome He is – that as we turn to Him, he runs to us – still amazes me today!! http://youtu.be/NBzcOGydUaA    – we only need to seek Him.

Guilt and shame can break our spirits.  John Baker asks the question – have you tried to make deals with God?  Have you asked for His help so many times, you may be embarrassed to ask again.  Maybe you think if you don’t ask for help, He won’t know you need it.  I have done all the above – actually tried to hide things out of guilt.  Like He didn’t know what was going on.  He knows ALL!!  He wants to forgive us and take away the shame – His desire is for us to live a life of abundance.  “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 – we only need to seek Him.

How many of us have stood in paralyzing fear?  Fear that our children would not recover? Fear that we could lose our job? Fear that we didn’t know where our next dollars would come from? Fear of someone coming into our home that was not invited? Fear of finding our way home safely? Fear, fear, fear!!!  We live in a world of fear – economy, safety and health.  I know in my life, I feared that people would ‘find me out.’  That they would see who I really was.  I thought I had control, yet lived in fear every day.  When we place our belief in the One True God, He promises to take those fears. “I sought the Lord and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4 – we only need to seek Him.

Worry is a word that was often used within my family.  I grew up with a mom, grandmothers and sisters who all worried from one day to the next what was going to happen.  As I sit here and think of that, I look at a sign my mom had in her living room for years – “One day at a time.”  Oh, I know that is a popular saying, but how many of us actually do live one day at a time.  Again I will take you to His word, in Matthew 6, Jesus was speaking to the multitudes about worry.  He tells of how God takes care of the birds of the air, the lilies of the field – that we should not worry of what we eat, drink or wear.  “For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow…” (Matthew 6: 32-34)  He is willing and DOES care for us and provides all that is necessary – we only need to  seek Him.

Is my faith too small?  I have asked myself that question.  Do you doubt why God would help you?  Why would the Most High, Omnipotent God look at me and say – “If you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move: and nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)  Jairus went to Jesus with a request that any one of us as mothers would ask…”Please heal my child”.  Jairus had doubts, he asked for help with his unbelief.  What was Jesus’ response? “Do not be afraid; only believe” (Mark 5:36) and the girl was restored to life.  We only need to seek Him and believe.  Lord, help us believe!!

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Let’s Pray:

Most gracious Father, You have given us so many promises to grab hold of.  Oh that we would believe whole-heartedly.  That we would be able to go through each day knowing You will care for every little thing in our lives.  Your Word says You do, it is us that falls short.  Father, I ask that each one in this study would seek You and feel Your presence, that we would all lay down the pride, guilt, fear, worry or doubt that we have throughout our lives.  Let us make the decision to open our lives to Your total care and control.  Although we don’t see where You will take us, we know this is the right thing.  Give us the strength and faith, even as tiny as a mustard seed, to take one day at a time with You, knowing we matter so much to You and that Your love for us is unfailing.  We give You all the glory and honor – In Jesus’ Name, Amen!!

Your Assignment:

Let us know what is keeping you from turning total care and control over to Him?  What does living one day at a time mean to you? Remember, all comments on this blog are public.  You have the option of signing in anonymously.

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If you are interested in joining us for the Life’s Healing Choices online Bible study, click HERE.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog, please email her at laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

 

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Life’s Healing Choices – Week 1 – Make the Choice

January 10, 2013 by

 

Well, we’ve almost made it through the first week.  How are you holding up?  If anything like me, you’ve had moments of denial, shaking your head, stammering for words, and just sheer amazement (& maybe even a little bewilderment) at what we’ve read and learned.

What is the first principle?  Realize that I am not God.

Should be easy, right?  Anyone think they “should” be able to hold it all together as wife, mother, employee, church-goer, volunteer, etc?  We should be able to do everything, at once without a break or help, right?  Super Mom!  Wonder Woman! Well, not if you learn God’s plan for your life.  He expects us to need Him, and to accept His guidance in our lives.  He knows we can’t do everything, and especially not by our own power.

John Baker provides three steps for us at the end of each chapter: Pray About It, Write About It, and Share About It.  So let’s get started!

PRAY –

Ask God to give you courage to admit your weaknesses, your struggle to control the world around you, and your inability to hold it all together.  There is nothing “weak” about admitting you cannot do it yourself.  God knew that we couldn’t do it without Him.

Ask for His power to fill your life and provide the strength you need to make changes in your life.  Ask for His peace when you are fearful, His comfort when you are unable to rest.  Matt 11:28-29

If you can’t find the right words, remember … there are no right words.  There is no special incantation to mutter that will make it to God.  At times you may not have the words to speak, and that’s when we are reassured that He already knows, and the Holy Spirit will intervene on our behalf. (Romans 8:26)

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.(NLT)

 

Matthew 11: 28-29

 

 Above all remember that He will hear our cries,

He will answer us, and He will deliver us (Ps 34:4)

I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me. 

He freed me from all my fears. (NLT)

WRITE –

Throughout this journey, you will want to take the time to write your thoughts to the questions posed in our book.  Often, the process of writing will help to clear our thoughts, help us see truths more clearly, and offer insight on what God is saying to us.  Find a notebook or journal to use for your thoughts.  Keep it in a safe place, and remember it is your private journal.  While there will be times of sharing, we will be guided on when to share, what we’ll share, and with whom.

When I first thought of keeping my journal “safe”, I thought about keeping secrets … are we really called to keep secrets from our spouse?  Then I realized, it’s not about keeping secrets but learning how to manage & control emotions.  I can easily spout off from the emotional core of my being … with tears, and irrational thoughts.  We call this “emotional vomiting” because it just spews forth without purpose or consideration.  I view the journal as a way to work through this sickness and learn how to express my thoughts, emotions, and experiences with clarity, purpose, and control so that I don’t put off another person.  As I tell my kids, “just because it pops into your head, it doesn’t have to come out of your mouth. “

Baker gives us five writing guidelines on page 24 to start the process:

  • What people, places or things do you have the power to control?
  • What people, places or things have you been attempting to control?
  • Describe how you try to control your image, other people, your problems, your pain?
  • Write how fear, frustration, fatigue and failures of trying to be the “General Manager of the universe” has affected your relationship with God & others.
  • What specific hurt, hang-up or habit have you been denying?

SHARE –

Throughout this study, we will encourage participants to share with someone they can be honest and totally open with.  I would strongly advise that you make this someone of the same sex because the information we work through may stir up emotions and experiences that are not appropriate with a member of the opposite sex.  Even if you think your husband, boyfriend, or platonic guy-friend is this person, you may want to find someone else to talk to first …men have a tendency to want to fix things for us, to protect us, and make all things right in our world.  This is not the role for our sharing-partner.  And, we don’t want to encourage a level of intimacy with someone outside of marriage that is not appropriate for women seeking God’s will in their lives.This is not to say you cannot (or should not) share with your spouse.  Just realize that sometimes a person outside of the immediate circle may have different insight & suggestions for you.

This group is not a counseling session, nor an affiliate of the Celebrate Recovery program.  At times, it may be necessary for you to seek professional counseling with a trusted pastor or licensed therapist.  We are here to facilitate a book study and encourage learning & personal growth through Bible study.  In Titus we are encouraged to support each other, learn from each other, and encourage one another as women.

After you’ve taken the time to reflect and write your answers to these questions, we welcome your comments below, or visit our Facebook Group for additional discussion.  If you are not currently a member of our Facebook Group, you can click HERE to sign up for this online Bible study, and you will be added to this group.

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Dear Lord, thank You for the journey You have given to each of us.  We realized that You alone are God, the only one with the power to bring change in our lives.  We ask that You shower us with Your grace, open our eyes to the truths of our lives, calm the fears as we take different paths than the ones we’ve always walked, and remind us daily that we are not alone in this process.  You are ever-present, ever-loving, ever faithful.  Through Your power, we can do all things.  Amen. 

If you are interested in joining us for this online Bible study, and would like to join our secret Facebook group, click HERE to sign-up!  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a personal comment to Amy in regards to this blog, please email her at:  Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.

 

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