For the law was given through Moses,
grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
John 1:17
If you didn’t read today’s chapter, you’re probably wondering what in the world a can of WD-40 is doing in our blog today!! If you did read it, you will know exactly what it’s meant for! Read on…..
When I read the script Priscilla mentioned in the first part of this chapter, I have to admit that I was feeling a bit uneasy. Why? Because I felt like she was talking about the script that was written about my home a few years back.
The Lord is really working in me the last couple of weeks. Last week, we talked about loving our kids; and the difference between loving them and being their friend. This week, we are talking about grace in the home. This chapter, we are talking about expectations / grace within the home.
I admit when I first moved into this home, I had no experience being a step-mom. I have been a step-child before, but never a step-parent. I had good and bad experiences as a step-child. I learned, or rather I thought I had learned, what to do…and what not to do. But, as life would have it, I realized very quickly that I hadn’t learned anything about step-parenting.
I had it in my head what I thought my new home was going to be like. My husband and I talked a lot about what my responsibilities would be. I thought I was going to just walk in and everything would just be peachy-keen! Not!!
I can go back now and see the reason why things didn’t go so smoothly. I was bullheaded. My expectations were extremely high, especially when there had been NO expectations prior to me living in our home. ANY expectations that I would have had would have been considered too high because of the lack of expectations before me.
To me, I wanted the kids to understand that I was just doing what their dad wanted me to do. To the boys, they just wanted me to go away, and leave them to do whatever they wanted, as they had been doing for almost two years.
I was an intruder. I was a spy. I was a tattle-tale. I was the enemy in their little world that had been so rudely interrupted!
Grace? We didn’t know that word back then. None of us did. We were one of the most dysfunctional families in the neighborhood. Neighborhood? Nooo, in the whole town it felt like!
I expected the fairly tale setting. I would move in. We would all love each other. We would all get along. We would all have a great time. And so on….. WRONG!!!
I and everyone else in this family found out rather quickly that was not to be!
My expectations were to have respect for each other. You did what you were told to do. You didn’t bad-mouth each other. You, in no way, showed violence. You kept peace in the home.
Some may say that doesn’t sound like my expectations were too high. But in this home, it was, only because it had never been reinforced before. Now I come into the home and I was reinforcing these things, and the troops were not happy, at all!! I was truly the enemy.
I admit now that I blew it. My expectations should have been adjusted to a lower level, until we learned about each other. Instead I just marched in and laid down the law. Wrong way to go about things. That blew up in my face, and it caused a lot of heartache for all of us. I take the blame for that. If I could go back and do it all over again, I would totally do things differently.
The lesson I learned is that each individual in your home has certain capabilities. The expectations of that person should be based on what that person is truly capable of giving. No individual should be forced into doing something they are not capable of doing, no matter what. It should begin with teaching that individual first. No one can do what they have not learned. How can they? They have yet to learn what is expected of them. They Will Fail!! And so will YOU, if you insist on them performing something they have yet to learn!
Re-evaluate your expectations of those in your home. Re-evaluate how you can adjust your expectations to what is capable for each person in your home. Don’t set the expectations so very high that no one will be able to reach it. If you do, YOU will be hurt, disappointed, and more! You will not achieve what you hope to if your expectations are not attainable. Yes, I agree that we sometimes have to stretch our expectations to help our self and others strive for success. But, what I am talking about here is setting the expectations so high, that no one can attain them …. To YOUR Satisfaction!
If you want peace, fun, laughter, acceptance, love, and a well oiled family unit, whip out the WD-40 (GRACE) and start spraying the areas where the expectations are too high, so you can loosen up a bit! Don’t be a drill sergeant like I was!
Be a woman resolved to show grace in your home!
Grace is the smile that everyone in your home is waiting to receive from you.
Truly if you use the grace card in your home, you will see much better results that I did when I first moved in here. Today, we still struggle with past hurts because of how high the expectations had been set, and unmet. We’re a work in progress, but by the grace of God, we are much better than we were back then!! Praise God!!
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Let’s Pray:
Lord, I lift to You each person who is reading this today, and maybe struggling with expectations that are too high in their home, or their work environment. Maybe they are the ones with the high expectations. Maybe they need to loosen up a bit. Maybe they need to learn how to use grace in their home or workplace. Father I ask You to give them wisdom and discernment on how they can show grace to each person in their life, or how they can set the right level of expectations for their home, or workplace. Lord, forgive us for the times that we have expected way too much from others. Forgive us for the times that we have tried to force our expectations onto others. Help us give grace to those who need to learn from us. In Jesus’ Name, AMEN.
Your Assignment:
Tell us about an area of your life where your expectations need adjusting. How will you go about changing them, and why?
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Reminder… on October 1st, we will begin our brand new Online Bible Study, entitled “Winning Him Without Words” by Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller. If you are in an unequally spiritual marriage, you won’t want to miss this study!!
To sign up for this study, please send an email to: Womens@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com and we will send you all the details you need to get started!
Now jump on over to our Facebook Group for the daily activity!! If you do not yet belong to this group, and would like to, send us an email at GirlfriendsCoffeeHour@gmail.com with FB GROUP in the subject line, and we’ll be glad to add you!
Living Intentionally to Show God’s Grace,
