When I was in the alternative lifestyle, my life was like a yo-yo. I knew I was wrong, however chose to continue. Then one day I would realize I needed to change and would say to myself, ‘okay, this is it. I am don’t need this anymore.’ I would walk away on my own, thinking I was strong, only to fall right back due to a bad day. 1 Corinthians 10:12 says, “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” That is exactly what I would do, I would rely on myself and fall flat on my face. I would think it was all okay because I kept everything private. As long as no one got hurt, right? Wrong – this went on for years. In-out-in-out… the whole time I was thinking as long as I go to church, believe and don’t hurt others all is good. Go ahead, ‘eat that fruit.’
One time I tried going to church more – look the part. I would get to know people, let them see my compassionate, ‘christian’ side before I told them the truth. I was miserable, but I didn’t want any help. Afterall, I am a social worker, I can counsel anyone, so why would I need counseling. I was a single mom, working full-time, going to school, raising my son and taking care of my brother – I didn’t have time to slow down and look at my own problems. I had become so accustomed to my life, my behavior became who I was. I was afraid to find out who I really was… I didn’t deserve any better. I was in denial.
Whether we have been hurt or have hurt others, used alcohol or drugs to get through the day, eaten our way through stressful situations, lied to stay out of trouble or had a sexual addiction to comfort ourselves, God is always willing to give us the strength to ‘Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past,’ Isaiah 43:18. The start of our journey is to admit we are not God. That we have NO power to change to do the right thing without Him. Are you ready to get this journey started?
Prayer:
Father, I thank You for every woman who has begun this study. Thank You that in our weaknesses, You are made strong. It is hard to let go of our past comforts – help us to not let go of Your hand as You guide us down this path of recovery. Give us the courage to admit and realize that without You we cannot make these changes. We pray for peace, trust and the knowledge that You will be there through it all – we just need to ask. Thank You Father and bless each one here today, in Jesus’ precious name we pray – Amen.
Assignment:
It isn’t easy to change habits, hurts or struggles, even if they are bad habits. Is there a hurt you are hanging onto? What are you afraid to change? Bring your discussions to the table.
IF THERE IS ANYTHING THAT YOU DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE SHARING IN THIS PUBLIC FORUM, A SECRET FACEBOOK GROUP IS AVAILABLE TO YOU TO HELP YOU DIG DEEPER INTO THIS STUDY. For more information, please visit us HERE, and sign up for this study. Once we receive your request, we will email you further instructions.
If you are interested in emailing Laurie in regards to this blog, please send it to: Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.
