I can barely stand right now
Everything is crashing down
And I wonder where You are
I try to find the words to pray
I don’t always know what to say
But You’re the one that can hear my heart
Even though I don’t know what Your plan is
I know You’re making beauty from these ashes
I’ve seen joy and I’ve seen pain
On my knees, I call Your name
Here’s my broken hallelujah
With nothing left to hold onto
I raise these empty hands to You
Here’s my broken hallelujah
You know the things that have brought me here
You know the story of every tear
‘Cause You’ve been here from the very start
Even though I don’t know what your plan is
I know You’re making beauty from these ashes
When all is taken away, don’t let my heart be changed
Let me always sing Hallelujah
When I feel afraid, don’t let my hope be erased
Let me always sing Hallelujah
Let me always sing Hallelujah
I will always sing
I will always sing
Here’s my broken hallelujah
The Afters
Writer(s): Josh Havens/Matt Fuqua/Jordan Mohilowski/Dan Ostebo
* ~ ♥ ~ ✞ ~ ♥ ~ *
The first time I heard this song, I cried. Wept uncontrollably. This was my journey. I had walked this path. I have seen joy and I have seen pain. I still get a lump in my throat every time I hear it. Often I will find myself singing it in my head.
We have all been there…
- Replaced in the life of someone you thought was a friend
- Rejected by someone who mattered
- Betrayed by one closest to you
- Made a mistake so grievous you believed it could never be atoned
- Mired in the pit of despair
- Broken into so many pieces you feel beyond repair
- Unable to stand, barely able to think
- In intense pain
So what do we do? Here’s what one great man of God did:
Job stood up and tore his robe in grief.
Then he shaved his head and fell to the ground to worship.
Job 1:20 NLT
Six years ago I found myself in just such a place. I felt I had lost everything that mattered. What I did surprises me as I look back. I turned to my only Source of comfort—the only One I could truly trust—Jesus. I would have never thought my faith was that strong. As I cried out to Him, I didn’t realize I was offering Him the one thing He desired…a broken hallelujah.
To grant [consolation and joy] to those who mourn in Zion—
to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty
instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning,
the garment [expressive] of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit—
that they may be called oaks of righteousness [lofty, strong, and magnificent,
distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God],
the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.
Isaiah 61:3 AMP
I have been on my knees…empty hands lifted…calling out His name. I don’t always have words to pray but God hears my heart. He has captured EVERY one of the tears I’ve cried in a special bottle (maybe more like a barrel). I am so very thankful He was with me from the start and He has never left my side.
When these times come (as I know they will) my one desire is that my heart won’t change and my hope won’t be erased. And that I will always sing Hallelujah.
