Praise and Honor

Praise the Lord! (Hallelujah!) O give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever!
Who can put into words and tell the mighty deeds of the Lord?
Or who can show forth all the praise [that is due Him]?
Psalms 106:1-2 AMP

Praise the Lord!  What emotions or memories does this bring to your mind?  For me it is several things, such as when I found my dad who had given me up to my maternal aunt for adoption.  You see, I come from a line of misfit women.  And when I say misfit, I mean that in an endearing way.  The woman who raised me was the oldest of three girls. There was Pat, Mandy, and Linda.

Linda was the youngest and my biological mom.  Mandy, the middle sister had three boys.  Pat, the oldest, was the one who was stable, responsible.  Mandy appeared to be as well, but she had a hidden problem—she abused alcohol and drugs…mostly prescription ones.  Linda sought love in the wrong places.  You see I was the oldest child of at least five children.  She gave each of us up to families who could not have children of their own.

I was given to Pat and FA because Pat had a hard time carrying a child to full term. She had two live births and one of those died due to eating rat poison at age 2 or 3 years of age.  That’s when the idea came for Linda to abandon me and for Pat and FA to adopt me to help fill that void (plus she felt responsible for caring for me).  Then she was able to have Terry, my 1st cousin.  We were raised as brother and sister. Even though we are not that close now, we were when we were kids.  We fought like kids, loved like kids and grew in the Lord together.  Other things happened and I could see then a pattern of abuse.  Physical, mental and other abuses abounded.  I was determined, when I found out about curses, I would do everything I could to stop it from affecting my family.  I do what I can through God’s nudging to help others who seem to be stuck and trapped in an unending cycle of abuse.

Deuteronomy speaks of blessing and curse.  You do this and you receive this as a reward; you do that and you receive that as a curse (chapter 28).  I have learned that I should honor my parents.  No matter what they did, they were working out of their hurt, their pain, and their love.  God is the ONLY perfect parent.  He gave us imperfect ones to help us see that we need Him to grow and learn to love others no matter how they treat us.  Just as He loves us, we are to love them—unconditionally.

When I first married John, my second husband, I was so broken, hurt and discouraged.  I SO wanted the love that was written about in books and told in movies.  You see, I bought the lie about what love and intimacy truly is.  You cannot have these without fully seeking and know God.  I had heard a pastor speak one time about how women from broken relationships have a hard time with intimacy for whatever reason.  How we need to give ourselves to our husband as a gift, with a bow on.  While I have not done this yet, I want to.  When the time is right and I know I am doing it for ‘us’.  God gives you people to steer you in the right direction and right path.  I have found that in my 18 years of being married to John.  I have not been easy to deal with and, while he has had his moments, we have stayed commited to our vows.  We love each other in such deeper ways that I am in awe and wonder.

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Father, thank You for Your love. Thank You for being patient and loving me when I hated everything and everyone. Forgive me for not knowing You more deeply than I do.  I want to know You with an intimacy that surpasses all my understanding.  Let me focus on You and be in continual prayer.  I love You, God.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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