Kindness. Just seeing the word makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, doesn’t it? It makes you smile. If I asked you to share a time when someone was kind to you, what comes to your mind? We read at the beginning of Chapter 2 that “Kindness can be described as having the qualities of being friendly, generous and considerate.” But is it really that easy or simple? Let’s not dismiss this attribute as elementary, sisters. We are challenged at the end of the chapter to ask God to show you where you have been unkind. If you will, take a moment now and ask God; “Lord, am I truly and consistently kind? To everyone?”
When we look in the Bible, there are MANY directives given to be kind or show kindness. We see in Galatians 5:22 that it is one of the many fruits of the Spirit—evidences that we are being led by the Holy Spirit in our daily lives. In 2 Peter 1: 5-9 we see that kindness is one of several qualities that will help us to be more effective and productive in our knowledge of Jesus. In Ephesians 2:6 and 7 we are told that “God raised us up with Christ” in order to show us the “incomparable riches of His grace, expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus.” We are directed to be kind to women, children, the poor and the oppressed, so there must be more to kindness than just being “friendly.”
When I looked up the word, “kindness” again, I saw the same definition—friendly, generous, considerate. Then I looked up the word “kind.” The fourth definition was “forbearing or tolerant.” Here we go… here is where we are shown the difference between just opening the door for someone and truly taking on the nature of God. In Luke 6: 32-35 we are shown a challenging passage that, like our passage in 1 Corinthians 13, exemplifies the true actions of a loving person.
If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?
Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them.
And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you?
Even ‘sinners’ do that.
And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you?
Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners’, expecting to be repaid in full.
But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them
without expecting to get anything back.
Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High,
because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. (NIV)
In preparation for this blog, I started the 16 Day Love Challenge a little early. Even as I was reading about patience (yep, I need to work on that…), God was convicting me about “kindness.” He showed me two areas that needed improvement—how I spoke to my husband and how I dealt with customers at work. Now don’t get me wrong, I try very hard to be a submissive, loving, supportive wife (AND a godly, cheerful, positive person at my job!). But with my husband, sometimes I can be…critical. <Ugh. Anyone out there with me?> There are times when, instead of seeing and recognizing what my husband does right, I pick out the small detail that is not to my liking and make some kind of comment about it. Often, after it comes out of my mouth, I think “Why did I say that???” Well, for the past several days I have been HIGHLY aware of what comes out of my mouth, because those little, tiny, nitpicky things have a tendency to wear someone down. (And you know what, sisters? We reap what we sow. Do you have relationships that have a problem with criticism? Do an honest check to see what you are sowing into it….) Not only have I tried to bring every thought under submission to God, but I’ve been happier…as has my husband. I work part-time at a cute shop in town that sells cupcakes, and it can get rather busy. I am the only person that works during my shift, and so a line to the door of often impatient customers can raise the stress level a bit. There are many times when a customer wants to take a LONG time figuring out what just the right cupcake will be, and wants a description of the ingredients/frosting/sprinkles, etc. for every cupcake! (Did I mention the line of customers behind him/her is to the door? And they are being audibly impatient?) Needless to say, I have a tendency to then become impatient and try to rush the customer along. Is that showing love to that person? NO. I am being neither patient nor kind to those types of customers. So I prayed to be more loving (patient and kind) to the difficult customers that came in the door. It made for a much less stressful shift!
Let’s accept the challenge to exemplify “kindness” today – not only to those that are kind to us, but especially to those that are not! If we do, our “reward will be great!” (Luke 6:35)
Let’s pray:
Kind father, THANK YOU for loving me! Thank You for your blessings, and for every good and perfect gift that comes from You, especially for Your Son Jesus, and the hope we have through Him! Show me where I can be kinder to those around me, and help me today to show the true love of Jesus in my actions. Help me to give kindness as generously as You have given it to me. In the name of Your Son we pray.
Amen.
About Robin Caddell
While I was reading this post I can see that even though I thought I was kind, I also can see where I have been impatient and see the the things that I thought was wrong. Lord forgive me for the ways I have said to my husband, my grown children as well help me to change. Thank you Lord.
Mary, I know the Lord forgives you and is more than happy to help you speak more kindly to your husband and children (and be more patient with them, too)! I would love to hear how God has helped you as we progress through this awesome study!
Robin, thank you for sharing your own experiences in the study this morning. I too am convicted of the way I speak to Steve at times. I used to be so careful not to nitpick or be critical, but I’ve noticed myself becoming lazy about controlling my tongue (James 1:1-12). For me, kindness and patience definitely need to go hand-in-hand. As I’m studying this, I’m also finishing reading the Five Love Languages again, so over this past week I have been much more aware of how I build up or tear down our relationship. The conviction hurts but I’m thankful for it, because the damage I may cause to our relationship would hurt much worse.
Amen to your prayer.
Clella, if we all fully realized the power our tongue had, we probably would be much more careful in how we use it! (I know I would!) I’ve been so much more aware of how I speak to my husband after the Lord convicted me last week. It’s so true that “A kind word turns away wrath…”, and I don’t mean my husband’s wrath – I mean my own! When I focus on speaking kindly to my husband, my own critical or harsh thoughts tend to calm down. I’ll be praying with you! 🙂
Although I really do try to be outwardly kind to people, The Lord convicted me this morning in the area of my thoughts. My thoughts are not always kind toward people. This is a hard thing because no one can “see” my thoughts, except, well, God! I really need to work on lining my thoughts up with the way God sees people and not through the lens of my own frustration. Tough stuff!!
Man, Jen, it’s not easy seeing people the way God sees them, is it? I love songs that I hear on the radio like, “Jesus, friend of Sinners” or “Forgiveness” that urge me to see people as GOD sees them! Then I pray – help me to see others as I want you to see ME. The beauty of knowing our thoughts don’t line up with God’s is that he promises to help us change if we want to! I pray that God helps you 1) to relieve the source of your frustration and 2) to see things through a God lens! God bless you!
I needed to Read this, WOW is all I can say! Thank you for sharing!
Anytime, Michelle! You are most welcome. 🙂 Isn’t that what we are all here for – to help each other on our way to see Jesus? <3 Looking forward to continuing this challenge with you!
Ouch!!! This one really hit hard, especially after last night’s glaring incident of of unkindness. God convicted me almost immediately after it happened, showing me I had let pride step in. I was convicted again this morning rereading the chapter & the blog. Then I was convicted again as I read Jen’s comment about unkind thoughts. I have a lot of work to do in this area! So grateful for God’s patience with me and kindness towards me <3 Now I need to show it to others
Oh my goodness – what a BEAST is pride!! 🙁 Doesn’t it get us all in so much trouble? Thank you for being so honest, Cynda. It’s hard to admit to ourselves when we aren’t thinking the way we should, much less tell anyone else! God is convicting me of how kind I truly am in my thoughts, words and actions. We’ll learn to “walk the walk, not just talk the talk” together! 🙂
Jen hit it on the head when she wrote about unkind thoughts. That is such a tough area, and one that I need to work on. I catch myself in mid-thought sometimes, but I need to realize that my thought life is just as important as my actions in showing God’s love. I try very hard to let the words I speak and/or write be helpful and kind as I learned a long time ago you cannot say what has already been said, and there is nothing more hurtful than an unkind word. May God continue to help me as I work toward more kind thoughts!
Cindy – you are so right! Our thought life IS just as important as our actions. The Bible says that “out of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34), so basically, when we can change the way we think, we won’t be speaking (or acting) unkindly. I am finding that we ALL have been convicted of thinking out of step with God. I know that God will answer your prayer and help you work toward thinking kinder thoughts – I am praying for the abundance of blessings that will come to you and all those around you as He changes your life! 🙂