I have been Vashti. Up until these past few years, I have not respected nor submitted to my husband. In fact, I would say rebellious would be the word for me. And the saddest part, other than my disobedience to God, is that my “kingdom” witnessed my rebellion and they too lost respect for the king of our home—their daddy. I wish I could say that I didn’t know what I was doing, but the truth is, I did know! As women, we can be manipulative, and have selfish motives. Maybe Vashti and I thought we would look stronger in the eyes of our people and the respect that we so deserved would be ours alone. But it didn’t work out that way. Nor did it for Vashti.
Physically, she paid with her life. Spiritually, I paid with mine. It’s no coincidence that the Scripture Darlene referred to were the verses that changed my family. Ephesians 5:22-24 “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
Did you see that word, everything? That means we can’t pick and choose what we submit to, nor can we pick and choose which laws of God’s we are going to obey. God doesn’t say “If your husband is a believer, then respect him and obey him,” does He? No, He doesn’t. And even if you are the spiritual leader in your home, like I was for a time, you still have to respect and pray for discernment and obey him. God is going to honor your obedience and protect your decisions from harming your family. He will place a hedge of protection around your children as He promises. Pray for the Holy Spirit to be your guide and to fill your husband with wisdom as you practice obedience in this season of your life. Submission comes easier to some, while others have to swallow some pride and realize it is not about that, it’s about being obedient in your walk with Jesus.
This verse also applies to Jesus and the body of believers known as the church. We have trusted Jesus as our Savior and received eternal life. In the New Testament, Jesus, the Bridegroom, has sacrificially and lovingly chosen us to be His bride. Our responsibility is to be faithful to Him (Ephesians 5:24).
2 Corinthians 11:2 says, “I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to Him.” As believers, we who are the Bride of Christ await with great excitement for the day when we will be reunited with Him. Until then we remain faithful to Him, and faithful to our earthly husband.
“The Queen must submit to the King” is the most important message of all. Who is our King? Jesus. Who is His queen? We are! God commands that He is to be King over His household…that means all of us. Esther 1:20-22 are the verses of today’s lesson. We know that Vashti, for whatever reason, disobeys the king and does not show up at his banquet. As a result, he sends out a decree to his entire empire commanding that all husbands everywhere are to receive proper respect from their wives. The NLT translation says, “every man should be ruler of his own home and should say whatever he pleases.” This is the way the chapter ends.
God is never mentioned in this book nor does He show up in any form. No one prays and no miracles are spoken of either. But God is in the shadows throughout the book. He works behind the scenes, not with a visible hand of miracles, but with His invisible hand always providing. For those of you who wonder if God is in your life because you haven’t seen Him in a while, or heard His voice in quite some time—Esther’s life is like yours, and God’s work in her own life will show you God’s work in yours.
Used with permission.
www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.com
Let’s Pray:
Dear Heavenly Father, we are weak. We know that You have hidden things in this book that are deep and hard for us to grasp. Help us to see that here is a story of all that You are able to do in our lives as we commit to being submissive and obedient to You. Help us to tear down the veil of pride and bitterness and open up to being that respectful wife that You have called us to be. Lord, if we aren’t married, may we submit to You in such a way that Your people will be led to You by the way we are living our lives. Thank You for this book. Thank You for the Holy Spirit interceding on our behalf. We love You and praise You. In Jesus’ name we pray.
Amen.
About Kim Spring
Kim, I love your honesty, and your Heart for Jesus. We all fall short of the Glory of God. Thank You Lord for Your forgiveness, Mercy and Grace. Kim, like Vashti we all “live and learn” God allows us to go through things so we come out stronger and wiser. This can hinder our spirituality, but when we understand what we have done, learn our lesson, turn to God for forgiveness -which he does forgive us…Glory! at the growth we gain. I do agree that we must be obedient to God and Submissive. Having said that, I do believe we have to remember the rest of the scripture that tells us to be obedient and submissive as long as it Honor’s God. Beautiful, Beautiful Blog Kim..they just keep getting better and better. You are blessed!
Thank you, Kim! Sharing your own personal family example emphasizes the relevance of this teaching on submission.
As I looked at Ephesians 5:22-33, I saw some pretty important reasons for The Church/for me to want to submit to The Bridegroom. When I read through the verses I found that The Bridegroom will love, sacrifice, make the bride holy, cleanse, present her radiant without a blemish. will feed and care for her, and love her as He loves Himself! The Bride/I am told to submit and respect The Bridegroom. With all those benefits, I believe I can do that, and I certainly want to!
Amen to your prayer!
I love this, thank you for your words this morning! I was in the group of women who felt that I needed to show my strength to my people (friends and family), over the past year or so this has been an area I’ve been working on. God has been doing great things! I am praying your prayer with you today. 🙂
Thank you Kim for sharing your gift with us. For the first five years of my marriage, I am in a dilemma in being submissive to my husband who is suffering with clinical depression. I felt so alone, his family turned a deaf ear to my plea for help. I found myself kneeling and crying before God, asking God to heal my husband and restore our marriage. One thing was clear during that time and I believe that it was from God, He whispered to me to continue to trust and obey Him, that is my first calling, a child of God then me being a wife. By God’s grace I remained faithful to God and to my husband. God answered me but it took years, my husband submitted himself to therapy and on medication. God did not only returned my husband to me, He also restored our marriage. I thank The Lord for His grace, faithfulness and mercy. Total submission to God will put us in cross roads, rocky path & high seas but be of good comfort God holds us, He will never let go of us. To God be the glory!
I hear you and God knows your heart. Thank you for sharing as we are all in need of grace and support from each other. God knows your heart. He rewards your righteousness. Praying for you!!
Thank you for these words of wisdom. I struggle daily with submitting to my husband and God. I pray that this Bible study will lead me to be more submissive and obedient.
As you can see you’re not alone. Grace my sweet friend. Keep striving and ask for help and pray scripture. So glad you shared
Excellent blog, Kim! Thank you for sharing your personal story with us!rj
Love your heart, Kim! My husband was not a believer the first ten years we were together. I struggled. My heart was broken every time I knew I needed to be in church and have fellowship with other believers. He didn’t understand that deep need inside me. I feel like God placed me in my marriage “for such a time as this” to lead David out of the shadows and into the Light.
If we find ourselves in the midst of non-believers, we have a mission field. They are watching our lives. There is another basic truth here. Women long for security and men long for RESPECT. We must find something in our husbands to respect and begin there building a relationship that God can use. We are Vashti…we need to be Esther.
Wow Teresa what a testimony. Men’s love language is respect and to withhold is so harmful. They have no reason to try if we aren’t affirming them. You are wise my friend!!
Thank you Kim …I love your love for our Lord and I love your love for Kyle…What a witness.. thank you for your blog today… it certainly spoke to me as I know it spoke to all of us .. thank you sweetheart… I love this book and the message it gives us…..what a blessing…..
thank you mom!!! I love seeing you here on the blog> I love you so much and cannot wait to see you!! hug dad for me too.
For me, there were many times in my marriage when submitting to my husband felt like I was a child that was being scolded. I would throw my temper tantrums, get my way, walk away with a smile on my face….and then later feel like a spoiled brat!!! It’s a wonder my husband is still with me!!! LOL We will celebrate 10 years of marriage on Nov 1st, and I have to say that I have learned that it is so much easier just to submit than it is to have to fight for what I want now. I have learned to TALK to my husband, and LISTEN to him. I will admit that for a time, I struggled with respecting my husband, and that made it even more difficult to submit to him. BUT PRAYER CHANGES SO MANY THINGS IN OUR LIVES!!!!
Today, my husband and I are a TEAM. We work TOGETHER! There is UNITY in our home. There is LOVE & RESPECT! God has changed my heart in so many ways over the years! I am honored to submit to my husband. I still struggle at times, to be honest, but for the most part, I am a submissive wife.
I will admit there are still two areas that I struggle with totally submitting to God with. It’s areas that I have been afraid to turn over to God, and totally let go of. I know why, and so does God. I am thankful that He loves me, and gives me grace, when I need it. He knows my heart, and He knows these two areas that I struggle with. I give it Him, then take it back…then give it to Him, and take it back!! With His help, I am working on no longer taking it back….I’m asking Him to heal my heart in these two areas, as well.
I loved your blog today, Kim! I love your honesty and openness. I love your heart for JESUS!!!!!!
i love that you always share your experiences with all of us. I love how honest you are also. You are such a strong mentor and you want to make sure that we all have the same chance to know the God that redeemed your whole life and marriage. Thank you for allowing me to be such a part of this ministry.
Thank you Kim! I too have always been a very independent person (or so that’s what I thought it was). I have always been very headstrong and have seen that in that I have not been submissive to my husband as I should have been. I was not only hurting my husband and myself but I was teaching my children this as well. God has opened my eyes and I’m not saying it’s easy and I have conquered it but I am trying. I thank God that he has blessed me with a Christian husband and the question of submission is not a problem of having to submit to a nonbeliever. I can’t imagine that challenge. God has shown me that by following His Word faithfully, my marriage and my family are strengthened. Thank you for sharing!
thank you for sharing Erica! One of the main issues we see with our children especially in marriages where the husband isn’t respected, sometimes it is harder for them to trust their Heavenly Father as well because their own father was so put down. It really is so important for them to see us loving their daddy and building him up and finding ways to praise him in front of the kids. We all are a work in progress!! Again, grace is the only way.
i, too, have been vashti. (perhaps we should make up little masks…and then burn ’em!) by God’s grace, we have been changed…and our marriages have been saved, restored, repaired, revived. praying that God will continue to help us with our hearts and that we will seek to honor Him through our submission to Him AND our husbands. (and submission in all the other areas of our lives, too!) thankful, kim, for your listening to the Holy Spirit, and for your allowing us to know your heart. xo <3
amen Coleen and I love the idea of the mask! maybe we should make one at home and all together take them off. Rip the veil of pride and submit as we should. Oh how He deserves all we can give.
I have so been there — been the rebellious one. What a relief it has been to submit to him. It wasn’t easy ( and still isn’t), but it’s worth it. God had blessed our entire family through my act of submission versus disobedience. Still a lot of work to do, but I’m making imperfect progress.
Kim, you have ended this week beautifully and with the perfect inspiration!! Love your words and your willingness to share. Thank you!
Thank you so much Kim for sharing this. I love this part with Queen Vashti. I try very hard to not imitate her in my marriage. However, I think after 11 years for the most part I have succeeded. I fail when my children decide to need me at the same time as my husband. Thank you so much for sharing your insight.
Thanks Kim for sharing this. I constantly struggle with this especially because my husband is so laid-back. But as I have submitted more over the past year, it has been a positive change for our family.