I’ve been to rehab three times. And the third time was the charm. I would love to tell you that I came home and everything was just perfect and all my relationships were restored and I was forgiven and trusted immediately. NOT!!!!! I never would admit to anyone all that I had done. I had three different sponsors during early recovery and did steps 4 and 5 at least three times but never the way God intended. I only told what made me sound somewhat sane, which was entirely a lie. I never admitted to God, I figured He knew already and why did I need to tell Him again?
Bottom line: I wasn’t ready to surrender. I wanted to do things my way, like the lonely soundtrack for misery of the song, “I did it my way.” My way wasn’t working and had never ever worked and it was time to try something different. I wanted the miracle of freedom, so I finally did what it took and it started with confessing my past and truly leaving all those bags at the doorway of freedom and never looking back. Oh, I pick up a bag every now and then and carry it around. It’s heavy and uncomfortable and I’m supposed to ask Him for help. I wasn’t meant to carry this alone. He created us to need each other, and to need Him in the midst.
We need an accountability partner—we have to tell someone our secrets, for secrets keep us sick and keep us right where we are. We cannot move forward until we let go of our past by confessing our past to someone else and to our Heavenly Father. We need to have this person pray with us for the forgiveness and freedom that is ours through Jesus. He died so that we may have life free from sin and guilt and shame. Do it now. Don’t wait or procrastinate. I read somewhere that depression isn’t a sign of weakness, but a sign of being strong too long. Ask for forgiveness and accept it—it is freeing! If you don’t then you are saying His death was for nothing, and that it wasn’t enough for you. It is for you.
We don’t get to choose our story’s beginning and we don’t get to make our husbands love us perfectly. We don’t get to choose our children’s problems (or lack of) and we don’t get to demand life. We get to accept it. Like a gift. No one ever entered into God’s fullness by giving Him only half of yourself. You may wrestle, but in Him you’ve won. You may suffer, but in Him you’ve got security. You may regret, but in Him you will rise. You may no longer be free to live the easy way, but in Him you will be free. “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (2 Corinthians 4:17). “Outweighs them all”—all the mistakes we have made He uses all for His glory. When you’re tempted to hide under the covers this week because some horrible memories of things you did in the past are bringing back shame and guilt, remember they are just feelings—nothing more. You have been delivered.
Psalms 54:4 “I sought the Lord and He answered me, and He delivered me from my fears.” Delivered !!!
Ephesians 3:20 “He is able to do abundantly beyond anything that we can think or ask.” He is able…to do ANYTHING.
Anything we need-–-we just need to ask…then receive…then move forward. When you are tempted to go back, fall forward. Keep moving forward toward Him. Finish this race strong. Remember, God forgives instantly and freely; now just do it!!!
Do these steps in this chapter, read them carefully, and do them exactly as they are written. God will hold you through this. I’m so proud of you all! Hang in there and know I’m praying for you.
At last I leave you with God’s word, “Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the Heavenly prize for which God through Christ Jesus is calling us” (Philippian 3:13, 14).
Your life is worth so much. Please hear me—God’s grace is freely yours, just follow through with choice 4; freedom and joy and so much more are yours!!!
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Let’s Pray:
Dear Heavenly Father, we praise You for Who You are. You are our strength and our fortress. Our stronghold and comforter in sorrow. You are our everything. We cannot thank You enough for Your forgiveness and grace freely given to us. You love us not for what we do but for who You made us to be. You know each of our hearts and You know what we desire and You promise to give them to us. We trust You. We ask for Your help in laying it all down at Your feet and help us not to take it back. Forgive us and keep us safe during this sometimes painful journey. We love You. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
Your Assignment:
Please read sections 4 and 5 carefully, and pray about when and who and where to do your talking. This a hard one. Just let us know that you have chosen someone, and the rest can be your choice as to whether you share or not.
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If you would like to send a private message to Kim in regards to this blog, please email her at Kim@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com
Kim I love what you wrote: You may wrestle, but in Him you’ve won. You may suffer, but in Him you’ve got security. You may regret, but in Him you will rise. You may no longer be free to live the easy way, but in Him you will be free. We can choose and for years I chose my way (love the song reference too). When I finally chose His way – what freedom, peace and joy I was given by His grace. Thank you for your heart <3
Thank you Laurie. It's so true. His way is the only way.
great encouragement, kim! it truly isn't until we recognize our miserable failing while we do it 'our way'—and surrender to our Father, asking for His divine help to do it HIS way—that we will be able to begin to recover. He has SO already made the way for us in the life and death and resurrection of His dear Son! yes! philippians 3:13, 14! <3
Thank you Coleen. You're such an encouragement and warrior for Him. Surrender is a sign of strength. Not weakness. Amen
I wrote a reply on this blog but I can't find it. I responded about the accountability partner, writing everything down which would be great. As I wrote in the other one, we don't have any friends here, all my friends are this Bible study. Would someone like to help me out, be there with me, my accountability partner? My landlord knows everything about this situation but she isn't saved! Anyone game? I would love it!