In our first week, we prayed for God to give us the courage and willingness to admit we are powerless. As you admitted you are powerless, how did it impact your life last week? When I began admitting that I am NOT God and I am powerless, I went through a multitude of emotions: anger, sadness, guilt, relief and indifference. Turning over the control of my life was taking the life, as I had known for years, and realizing it was a false system of belief. I had to accept the changes I needed to make. This week we are going to talk about what happens after we realize those changes need to be made. We may begin to mourn our past mistakes and even mourn the fact that we have turned our control over to God. Some of you may say, FORGET IT!! I will admit I am not God, I mean, everyone knows they aren’t God. But this – it’s painful.
Let’s stop right here and look at the title to this chapter – Getting Help, The Hope Choice. Ok, that sounds a little better. Then go to the E in RECOVERY which is Earnestly believe that God exists ( yes I can do that) and the I matter to Him (so glad about that) and that He has the power to help me recover (I sure hope so). It is at this point that we search and find access that He is the One that wants to fill our lives with love, joy and peace. He wants us to feel His presence as we begin to let go of more and more of the hurts we have experienced by our habits or hang-ups. Matthew 5:4 is the scripture that tags this step – ‘Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.’ It is His comfort we are seeking and only Him that will offer the healing and VICTORY over our hurts, habits and hang-ups.
One of the biggest issues I went through when I was letting go of my past was the guilt and shame. I had enough ‘I wishes: I wish I hadn’t made my sons live in the environment I chose; I wish I hadn’t hurt my family; I wish I hadn’t left my marriage; I wish I hadn’t alienated myself from my friends and family; etc, etc. etc. I could write a book on 1001 “I wishes” you don’t want to have. But as I kept saying I wish, God kept telling me to quit wishing on my past and believe in His promise. Isaiah 61:7 says: ‘Instead of their shame, my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs.’ What an amazing promise to believe in God loves us so much, we are going to receive double our portion and have everlasting joy. He will comfort us, restore what we may have lost and give us joy.
When we continue to live in our habits or hurts, we are trying to drown out something in our lives or hide what we don’t want brought to light. We would rather sit back and ignore the issue. The reality in the book about the fire alarm brought this home for me. If the fire alarm went off, would I simply sit there and wait for it to stop, while everything around me disintegrated? That is exactly what we do when we try to cover up our hurts, habits or hang-ups with food, alcohol, anger, work or other addictions. All the things around us disintegrate: relationships, finances, work, anything in our lives that stand in the way of our cover up. I know for myself, when I was living the lifestyle I chose, I was a workaholic, single mom going to school and perfectionist within my home. There was not an item out of place, my kids stayed involved (so I would have more to do), I was doing online classes for my degree and working 70-80 hours per week. That way I had NO time to look at the addictions in my own life. And if someone said, “I am praying for you,” I told them what for? I am fine – then would go into a long list of why my life was so ‘fine.’ I didn’t need anyone’s help and really did not need God’s help. I was choosing things of the world, not the things of my God.
I remember someone telling me, ‘the love of the world will squeeze out the love of the Father.’ That’s exactly what I was doing. God had to get my attention. And that He did. I had gone through every one of the denial busters: I was wound tight from over work, damaging relationships with family and friends and was beginning to have medical issues. I had to begin admitting I was not in control and turn it all over to Him. I believed at the time, but had not let Him manage my life. As I did, God started taking me from brokenness to completeness, from hurt to healing and then to Victory over all things in my past. As we begin to admit, He offers hope for that change in our lives. Don’t quit before His healing happens. The hope and help God offers is steps away – He will stay with us each step of the way until Victory.
“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6.
The hope we search for is found in Christ alone.
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Let’s Pray:
Father, we thank You so much that You are our hope. That by Your grace alone, we can find comfort and healing through our struggles. Father, as we continue this week together, help us to continue letting You manage our lives. Help us to find the strength to bring our hurts, habits and hang-ups and lay them at Your feet. To be honest Lord, there are times when we may not feel like giving up our comfort or we may not understand what it is we are to give to You. Bring clarity and peace to our lives Father, that peace that surpasses all understanding as we put our trust in You. We praise You for what You have done and are about to do in our lives. We give all the glory and honor to You. In Jesus Name, Amen
Assignment:
After reading this blog comment on below and/or go to our Facebook Group and comment on: how you handle pain or disappointment. Also, are there areas of your life you are now beginning to face reality and break your denial? If so, what are those areas?
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About Laurie Ellis
oh. boy. now THOSE are some questions! sometimes, laurie, disappointment is SUCH the distraction, don't you think? and, unchecked, it can lead to being judgmental, bitterness, hardheartedness. so i try…and fail sometimes…and try to bring my disappointments to God usually accompanied by tears and sobs. and i am learning to deal with my expectations, too. 😉 <3
Wow. I'm admitting that I'm a huge part of the problem that I've blamed my husband for. We have talked about this in length lately. And I'm ready for Him to help with handling disappointments and using faith and resources He's given me. Don't quit til the miracle happens!! Love ut
Awesome post, Laurie. I struggle so much (even today) with the guilt/shame part of choices I've made, or even make today. I can spend so much time beating myself up and not allowing His grace to cover me fully. He may forgive me, but it's so hard to forgvie myself! Love the lessons we're learning!
Coleen – your comment of taking it to God with tears and sobs brought to mind that He records evwry tear we cry. Isn't that amazing? He loves each one of us so much, He keeps every tear we have cried. What a loving Father.
Amy – keep reading Isaiah 61 – there is so much there about repairing and restoration. His promises are amazing!! So glad you are feeling better my friend.
Handling pain and disappointment for me depends on what caused the pain and disappointment. If it's a pretty harsh circumstance, I usually pull away for a while, until I am ready to deal with it personally. I pray. I pray, again. And I pray, yet again!!