I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable. “Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor.”
Matthew 5:3
Wow!! Ouch!! Yikes!! Ugh!! And many other exclamations of dread, fear, sadness, frustration, pain, weak, I can’t. All of those we have thought of and even said throughout this week. Having gone through this study before, let me assure you – this is the hardest week. Actually having to sit back and begin thinking of the hurts, habits or hang-ups we have endured is difficult. But also, let me say – admitting that we are weak and He is strong will bring a freedom to your life that will be worth every moment of this study.
Day 1: We talked about our tendency to do wrong – even when we don’t really want to. What do we do when we realize our lives have become unmanageable? We put on a mask – after all, no one will really know, right? We control our image, others and our problems. “I can handle it.” Wrong!! That didn’t work so what do we turn to? We become superhuman and believe we can fix it all by ourselves – only to find out that our issues just get worse. I loved the part in the book that had us visualize God saying, “Hi, I’m God and you’re not.” We need to get to the point where we realize He is God and we are not. Say to yourself, I am not God, I need God. The God that made the universe and everything within it, He sees all, knows all and heals all. We simply have to admit and ask.
Day 2: Once we realized our issues were controlling our lives we discussed the consequences to these issues. Many of us said we identified with more than one of the f’s: fear, frustration, fatigue and failure. They all really fall one after the other, don’t you think? We are fearful that someone will find out who we really are which is frustrating. Then I don’t know about you, but all of the games I played and trying to keep my “secret life” secret was extremely tiring. Then when I realized I could not control things anymore, I felt as a failure. It is a vicious cycle. One we all need to jump off of. You need to ask yourself are you going to let your past fears, frustrations, fatigue or failures to determine your future? Or are you going to turn them over to the One who can heal.
Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13-14
Day 3: Wow, I don’t know about you but sometimes when I look at finding the cure for “ME,” it stands right up there with finding a needle in a haystack. “We have to take that first step to freedom and admit we are powerless over EVERYTHING ……I can’t, He can, I think I’ll let Him.” Love this saying and have said it since Kim wrote in her blog. Simple, isn’t it? We make it so hard – He really wants for us to admit our hurt, habit or hang-up, humbly come to Him and allow Him to manage our life. This week we have learned that we are powerless of our past, we cannot control others and have you really been good at coping with your hurts, habits or hang-ups? I know I have not.
When I was in Celebrate Recovery after leaving the gay lifestyle behind, one of the first images I got was that of laying down that life and moving into being recovered by Christ. Imagine when you have an old couch or chair, you recover it. The dirty, tattered and torn is gone and replaced by a beautiful, fresh and new piece. That is what God will do. When we admit we cannot control our tendency to do the wrong thing and truly ask Him to manage our lives, He will give us that beautiful, fresh and new start. We no longer have to look in the mirror and see a dirty, tattered and torn image – but we can see the image of Christ in us, a reflection of Him!! We move out of recovery into VICTORY!! What a joy to receive His healing.
I hope you will enjoy this song by Michael W. Smith
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Let’s Pray:
Father, I come to You today and stand with every woman who has made the decision to take this study. Father, we know there are areas in our lives that we need to surrender to You. We have made the decision to lay down our control and ask You to manage our lives. Heal our hurts, help us to walk away from those past issues. Lord, as we continue this weekend in preparation to learn about Your hope, fill us with Your love, let Your healing rain wash over our lives. You are an amazing God and we love You. We give all the glory and honor to You. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Assignment:
How do you think admitting you are powerless will help you? Share one of the statements or areas in the book or blog that helped you through this week.
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About Laurie Ellis
Phil. 4:13 took on new meaning for me last night as I faced an overwhelming fear. All week I was consumed with the knowledge that I had to go into the maximum security area of our local jail to minister to the women inmates. (Normally we meet in a less intimidating area of the jail) I was gripped in my "gut" by FEAR but through prayer God got me through. It is a 3rd floor old facility and you have to pass through 8 locked doors and go up an elevator which is controlled by central booking. No windows, low ceilings and 80 plus women on the floor. To top it off, we got there (my new partner and me) and moments later a LOUD fire alarm went off. You can't just run outside. I thought I'd lose it at that point. Fortunately, a Lt. and a CO that I know were both on the floor and are both great folks and people I trust. It help defray the rising panic. I'm not saying "I got this" now but I am SUPER thankful that the Lord gave me the strength to go through it and we had a wonderful bible study w/ 6 of the inmates. We were very blessed! I will prayerfully face it next week with less fear and with more faith. As my husband's "wallpaper" on his computer says, Let your faith be bigger than your fears. Amen to that. I am not God, HE is in control, He loves me and He's got my back!
Martha, thank you for your serving Him and taking the gospel to those who may not otherwise hear. He is so good to take away the fear and give us peace, isn't He? We do have a Mighty Bodyguard. Glad you are taking this study with us!!
oh…it is clear to me that i AM powerless! laurie, admitting to that TRUTH takes the obstacel (me, oh Lord!) out of the way. and so the help and guidance and deliverance and grace and mercy that the Lord knows i need and wants to provide for me become available. i am not in the way. happy me! <3
i so appreciate your prayer, laurie; thank you. <3
Coleen, absolutely love your heart and transparency! I have to step out of the way daily – but He is oh so gracious to hold the door for me!!
Great post, Laurie. Listening to the song, I could just picture myself on my knees in a wide open field with rain pouring down around me, washing over me. Loved this video and song. I think my big moment this week was deciding that with God's help I can "journal" some of my thoughts. I know that might not sound like much, but that was my biggest hang up going into this! Already this morning, God has given me a couple of thoughts. I've always been a "seize the teachable moment" kind of person, so I will start with those. 🙂 Thank you!
Hey Laurie thank you for this review, we are learning so much from each other! God is sogood!