Well, we’ve almost made it through the first week. How are you holding up? If anything like me, you’ve had moments of denial, shaking your head, stammering for words, and just sheer amazement (& maybe even a little bewilderment) at what we’ve read and learned.
What is the first principle? Realize that I am not God.
Should be easy, right? Anyone think they “should” be able to hold it all together as wife, mother, employee, church-goer, volunteer, etc? We should be able to do everything, at once without a break or help, right? Super Mom! Wonder Woman! Well, not if you learn God’s plan for your life. He expects us to need Him, and to accept His guidance in our lives. He knows we can’t do everything, and especially not by our own power.
John Baker provides three steps for us at the end of each chapter: Pray About It, Write About It, and Share About It. So let’s get started!
PRAY –
Ask God to give you courage to admit your weaknesses, your struggle to control the world around you, and your inability to hold it all together. There is nothing “weak” about admitting you cannot do it yourself. God knew that we couldn’t do it without Him.
Ask for His power to fill your life and provide the strength you need to make changes in your life. Ask for His peace when you are fearful, His comfort when you are unable to rest. Matt 11:28-29
If you can’t find the right words, remember … there are no right words. There is no special incantation to mutter that will make it to God. At times you may not have the words to speak, and that’s when we are reassured that He already knows, and the Holy Spirit will intervene on our behalf. (Romans 8:26)
And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.(NLT)
Above all remember that He will hear our cries,
He will answer us, and He will deliver us (Ps 34:4)
I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me.
He freed me from all my fears. (NLT)
WRITE –
Throughout this journey, you will want to take the time to write your thoughts to the questions posed in our book. Often, the process of writing will help to clear our thoughts, help us see truths more clearly, and offer insight on what God is saying to us. Find a notebook or journal to use for your thoughts. Keep it in a safe place, and remember it is your private journal. While there will be times of sharing, we will be guided on when to share, what we’ll share, and with whom.
When I first thought of keeping my journal “safe”, I thought about keeping secrets … are we really called to keep secrets from our spouse? Then I realized, it’s not about keeping secrets but learning how to manage & control emotions. I can easily spout off from the emotional core of my being … with tears, and irrational thoughts. We call this “emotional vomiting” because it just spews forth without purpose or consideration. I view the journal as a way to work through this sickness and learn how to express my thoughts, emotions, and experiences with clarity, purpose, and control so that I don’t put off another person. As I tell my kids, “just because it pops into your head, it doesn’t have to come out of your mouth. “
Baker gives us five writing guidelines on page 24 to start the process:
- What people, places or things do you have the power to control?
- What people, places or things have you been attempting to control?
- Describe how you try to control your image, other people, your problems, your pain?
- Write how fear, frustration, fatigue and failures of trying to be the “General Manager of the universe” has affected your relationship with God & others.
- What specific hurt, hang-up or habit have you been denying?
SHARE –
Throughout this study, we will encourage participants to share with someone they can be honest and totally open with. I would strongly advise that you make this someone of the same sex because the information we work through may stir up emotions and experiences that are not appropriate with a member of the opposite sex. Even if you think your husband, boyfriend, or platonic guy-friend is this person, you may want to find someone else to talk to first …men have a tendency to want to fix things for us, to protect us, and make all things right in our world. This is not the role for our sharing-partner. And, we don’t want to encourage a level of intimacy with someone outside of marriage that is not appropriate for women seeking God’s will in their lives.This is not to say you cannot (or should not) share with your spouse. Just realize that sometimes a person outside of the immediate circle may have different insight & suggestions for you.
This group is not a counseling session, nor an affiliate of the Celebrate Recovery program. At times, it may be necessary for you to seek professional counseling with a trusted pastor or licensed therapist. We are here to facilitate a book study and encourage learning & personal growth through Bible study. In Titus we are encouraged to support each other, learn from each other, and encourage one another as women.
After you’ve taken the time to reflect and write your answers to these questions, we welcome your comments below, or visit our Facebook Group for additional discussion. If you are not currently a member of our Facebook Group, you can click HERE to sign up for this online Bible study, and you will be added to this group.
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Dear Lord, thank You for the journey You have given to each of us. We realized that You alone are God, the only one with the power to bring change in our lives. We ask that You shower us with Your grace, open our eyes to the truths of our lives, calm the fears as we take different paths than the ones we’ve always walked, and remind us daily that we are not alone in this process. You are ever-present, ever-loving, ever faithful. Through Your power, we can do all things. Amen.
If you are interested in joining us for this online Bible study, and would like to join our secret Facebook group, click HERE to sign-up! Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.
If you would like to send a personal comment to Amy in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.
About Amy Butterfield
Well I'm starting my journal right now. And I love that it's not about keeping secrets but about working through issues so that God can speak to us in our writings. Thanks Amy for today's post. The Holy Spirit is given to us for many reasons and I'm so glad He intervenes on our behalf. Praising God today for this study. It's changing my life
Journaling is sometimes an overwhelming idea for some but it's really just writing down the important things to you. No right way to do it, just the way that works best for you. And, for this study, it's a dialogue between you & God. Thanks for sharing, Kim!
I have to admit that I have not been that good at keeping a journal. I do it for a while, then I stop; then I pick it back up again and the cycle continues. Need to work on that!!
Amy, glad to read this again and see the comments! Praying for your complete "feel better moment" to get here soon! Thank you for working so hard while being so ill. I have to admit I have never kept a diary or a journal. I just feel like if I see what I'm thinking in black and white – well, you know what I mean! With all of you trying to do better with it, I am willing to try and I will let the Holy Spirit guide my pen. I'll be watching for tips from all of you pros! 🙂
i would like to share, by the Grace of God, on 1/9/2013, i enjoyed my 5 year anniversary of sober living, free from drugs, alcohol and smoking…this was not done of my own accord, God reached down and gently, lovingly, touched me, and guided me. when i hit my "bottom" i was suicidal…i couldn't imagine living continuing my round the clock drinking, nor could i imagine living without my best friend, my booze, my cigarettes, my dope when i scored some….a very quiet voice inside me told me to go to an AA meeting….it was there i learned about God and having a relationship with Him…i learned that our God is a loving God and no matter the horrible awful things i did, all the sins i committed, no matter how filled with shame and disgust i had for me, my God, OUR God loved me…it has been an incredible journey of life….since i started my walk with God, i KNEW, in His time, He would lead me to a Church home, the place He chose for me…i knew if i turned my will and my life over to God, i would be ok. you see, i had spent my life running my life according to my own plans and visions…i was a wreck…i was a falling down, wet your pants drunk…i was a single mom with 2 teen aged daughters…life was horrible, i wanted to die, i did some horrible, awful things and i never thought i could rise above the shame, nor have any life of any respect of dignity…i couldn't see past the bottle or the stranger i would often find next to me in bed…i simply didn't know there was any possible way i could lead a life different from what i had been…
today, wow, today is such a blessing….i know what bad living is…i know what shame and self-loathing is, i know it seems hopeless….i also know there is hope…our God is ever faithful and He loves us so very much….no matter what we have done, or haven't done, no matter how far down we have gone, or been, God still loves us, He cares for us…we matter to Him….we also matter to each other….
i am delighted to be on this journey with all of you….if anyone wants to talk to me, i am here, always here
this is an experience you won't want to miss…..be sure to stay until the miracle happens, for i assure you, a miracle will happen
love and peace to all….
Page
Awesome Page and Congratulations!!! We do serve an amazing God. So glad you were able to turn it over to Him – He does love you so much!! So glad you joined us on this study. God's testimony through you will be a blessing and encouragement to many!!
Amy – thank you so much for your blog. What an encouragement and so true that our words, whether spoken or written do not have to be perfect. I believe that is what holds us back so often that we try so hard to find the right words, we never get around to it. I love to wake up and just start talking to God. Sometimes I think if people would look in my house or car throughout the day, they would think I was crazy talking to myself. 🙂 Journaling took me awhile to get used to but, now I love looking back and seeing where God has brought me and how He has allowed me to grow closer to Him. Sharing can sometimes be difficult, but I also found that when I did share, I felt a weight off my shoulders. When God allows me to give testimony of His grace in my life, I love to… even though the picture was not pretty in the making, the outcome of what He has done is a masterpiece. The 3 together, prayer – writing and sharing brings freedom. Not easy at first, but gets much easier and is so encouraging for others to hear.
Get to feeling better Amy – praying for quick healing this week and rest this weekend!!
Congratulations, Page. What a strong lady you are. God is shining in your life and His light is shining through you! Thank you for your testimony and your offer to help others. <3