Ok, I have a confession. When it comes to movies, I’ve subjected every man I’ve dated to watching my favorite. Unfortunately for them, it’s not an action. It’s not a comedy. And some would say it’s not even in English. To what movie can I be referring? Why, to the one and only “Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austen.
In the movie, Lizzy, a very headstrong young woman, is notoriously independent and has an extremely quick wit. Her sister, Jane, even warns, “One of these days, Lizzy, someone will catch your eye and then you’ll have to watch your tongue.” I love that about Lizzy. She doesn’t need a man. She even turns down men and marriage proposals because she’d rather be single and destitute than live unhappily with someone for the rest of her life. But if this is where the story would end, I doubt so many women across the world would claim it as their favorite as I do. Oh yes, the story goes on.
The strong, “don’t-need-no-man” Lizzy falls in love. She falls in love with a conveniently rich and handsome gentleman by the name of Mr. Darcy. As we watch the rest of the story unfold (I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t seen), we also see Lizzy herself unfold. Her true heart. The heart God created in her. The heart that longed to be romanced, the adventure she yearned to join, and the beauty that she ached to unveil to one, special man. In this dramatic tale, we see many sides of Lizzy: the lover, the warrior, and beauty.
[“At some core place, maybe deep within, perhaps hidden or buried in her heart, every woman wants to be seen, wanted, and pursued.”]
Our culture tells us to be ashamed of this desire – the desire to be romanced. But why? Romancing involves vulnerability. Much like Rapunzel, it involves waiting. Waiting is not glamorous or exciting. But we must wait on God’s timing for our prince to arrive and rescue us. It’s a helpless position, and certainly not one worthy of admiration. A woman of the 21st century doesn’t need to be rescued. Certainly she can rescue herself. But how silly would the story have been if the prince never came? If Rapunzel attached her hair to a nearby tree and climbed down the tower on her own. That’s a pretty lame story if you ask me. We need the prince and the death-defying rescue to create the adventurous story that we all know and love. Thus, our stories cannot be just about ourselves, our own power, and our own will. Our stories must include other people!
[“Made in the image of a perfect relationship (the Trinity), we are relational to the core of our beings and filled with a desire for transcendent purpose. We long to be an irreplaceable part of a shared adventure.”]
So cool! And I think it’s noteworthy that this “shared” adventure doesn’t necessarily have to be shared with a man. It simply involves people! This relates directly to our purpose for life as pointed out by Jesus in Matthew 22:37-39: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
I know that God has a great adventure in store for each of us – and as women, it’s our duty to seek it. Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” We must seek Him to discover these desires – the desires that He’s laid on our hearts from our very creation.
[“Many of us have hardened our hearts to this desire, the desire to be the Beauty. We, too, have been hurt so deeply in this area that we no longer identify, perhaps even resent, the longing. But it’s there.”]
How have you been hurt? I can recall many times throughout my life when I felt more like the Beast than the Beauty. Sometimes I am consumed with these hurtful memories. Sometimes they evidence themselves when I look in the mirror or can no longer fit into my favorite pair of jeans. But the Healer and Lover of our Souls has crushed all of those hurts. He gives us strength when we have none. He restores our hearts when we rest in Him and His love. God reassures us of our TRUE BEAUTY.
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Let’s Pray
Heavenly Father, we praise You for instilling in each of us these womanly desires. Lord, we know that You knew us even before we were born, before the world even knew we would exist. Father, I pray that as each woman seeks You throughout this study, that each of us would find ourselves in You. I pray that each of us would embrace the unique and special woman who You created us to be. I pray that each of us would embrace the desires You have laid on our hearts no matter what our culture says or our hurts from the past. Heal us, restore us, and renew us, Father. We surrender our hearts, our desires, and our lives to You because You alone are worthy. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Your Assignment
I absolutely love that God has given each woman’s heart these desires pointed out by Stasi and John. The best part, I believe, is that each desire manifests itself differently in each woman.
Think back on your childhood. Can you see these desires evident in a particular instance? Share your stories please!
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Praise Him!
Carissa
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If you would like to send a personal message to Carissa in regards to this blog, you may email her at: Carissa@girlfriendscoffeehour.com
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About Carissa Markantone
Did you write this just for me??? Funny how when you asked what I needed prayer for goes along exactly with this! Your post brought me to tears. Thanks so much. love ya!!!
So glad the Lord touched you through my words, girlfriend! So happy to be a part of that! Love you too! <3
I don't feel like these desires started until I was thirteen and first started my period after that I was all about getting guys I remember on family vacations I would get so mad because my sister attracted the guys but I never did I wandered what was wrong with me was I too over weight was my hair too nappy what was it I felt less than like the undesirable little sister who tagged and was more of a nuisance and middle school forget only the popular girls got attention oh I tried to fit in but it never worked I got made fun of by guys I felt invisible and high school I thought was a fresh start I'd think to myself now! I'll get their attention and I had a lot of guys of course they weren't all that great but I thought I was something made me feel powerful and wanted though I've compromised a lot I didn't care I needed to feel seen senior year was hard I went back to Siegel after spending two years at another school I felt like an outcast by then everyone had their own groups I felt invisible and anxious a lot of the year I didn't want to be social just wanted to get out of there hurry up and graduate by then I was more attractive figure developed and braces gone some guys did like me but I couldn't see why after high school I broke out of my shell a few months after I dated a guy who made me feel important until I had sex with him and he pulled away ended up moving back to miami and we never saw each other again I repeated this pattern with guys not always intercourse tho I've got history of sexual activity I've regretted the first time for two years I eventually got over the guy tho it almost killed me I pulled thru but what I lost was heart breaking I longed to be pure and whole again and with a series of events the Lord restored me this last summer I saw myself as pure and spoke to myself accordingly and I was being faithful on believing for my future husband but I fell to my weakness got impatient and comprised agian oh how stupid! Whatever God fixes I mess up but sleeping with guys feels good because it feels so nice to have a mans arms around me
Brooke, thanks for sharing. i think that you can find comfort in the fact that the experiences you've been through speak for many, many woman. I've learned that through the awful experiences, God gives us the opportunity to grow closer to Him. I can relate to your comment about being pure/starting over only to "screw up" again. God's really been teaching me over the past year that the Devil wants us to wallow in that guilt. Or better yet, he wants us to give up all together. I made a comment once to my counselor that "I have to forgive myself before I can accept God's forgiveness." She quickly corrected me! Christ died…DIED…for our "screw ups." And because of that, we are told in 2 Corinthians 5 we are new creations in Christ. So it's never too late to start over. His mercies are new each morning. How awesome that we serve a God of endless forgiveness and love. And you are loved SO MUCH, Brooke! Be the princess that you were created to be. We're all here to support and pray for you! And surrender your desires daily to God…He is faithful.
Well said Carissa!
Great post Carissa. As a little girl I loved reading the comics and love stories. I always thought of love in a romantic way, a knight in shining armour, a prince coming to rescue his princess, happily ever after. However after so many heartbreaks I realized that such love exists only in movies and books.
Since I am now grown, my dream is to reach out to people, help those in need and make a difference and love those around me. I am not afraid to share God's love and what He has done for us.
Completely agree, Jackie! We have to guard our hearts against the media too! Even something so seemingly innocent can really twist our minds for the worse. And our dreams sound very similar 🙂 Thanks for posting!
I am testify Miss Jackie that you do make those in need feel loved, like me!
If I could "like" that post, I would!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂
You are one amazing woman, Carissa! I love reading your blogs!
Thank you, thank you. And I thank God for the opportunity to share through GCH!
I have always been waiting for a man, any man to come through and be there for me; from a worthless, absent drug and alcohol addicted father, an uncle who was to ashamed of my mixed nationalities to have me around and male cousins who learned how to treat me poorly from their father's hatred of me and my mother's "mistakes." So, I made myself important to the wrong boyfriends my whole life, desperate to be needed and loved. Recently, in counseling, I realized that the two relationships I felt the most loved in I was physically abused. I have been celibate for over two years now, and while God is refining me I am still terrified that even with God's guidance I will never be able to be with a good guy because it is ingrained in my DNA, in my bones to be mistreated.
Then, all you are left with is the romances in books, secular music and movies that portray the improbable and leave you empty and longing.
Melissa, thank you for sharing. I cannot pretend to relate to what you've been through; I have no idea what it feels like. But when I read your post, my favorite Bible passage was drawn to mind: Romans 8:28-30. As Christians (and as fallen people) we were promised a difficult life. And in Matthew, we are reminded that narrow is the gate to Heaven (being faithful is definitely the harder path). But God has called us to Him, we are His, no longer captive to our hurts or past. And He holds us and heals us now! We are conquerors of our past, present, and future BECAUSE Christ has conquered it all for us. We have transcendent power in Him, so hold to that truth! I know it's difficult, and some days are harder than others. Know that you have people who love you and are praying for you and your heart constantly. And God is going to do amazing things with the story of your life if you let Him! Love to you!!!!