When I was in the alternative lifestyle, my life was like a yo-yo. I knew I was wrong, however chose to continue. Then one day I would realize I needed to change and would say to myself, ‘okay, this is it. I am don’t need this anymore.’ I would walk away on my own, thinking I was strong, only to fall right back due to a bad day. 1 Corinthians 10:12 says, “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” That is exactly what I would do, I would rely on myself and fall flat on my face. I would think it was all okay because I kept everything private. As long as no one got hurt, right? Wrong – this went on for years. In-out-in-out… the whole time I was thinking as long as I go to church, believe and don’t hurt others all is good. Go ahead, ‘eat that fruit.’
One time I tried going to church more – look the part. I would get to know people, let them see my compassionate, ‘christian’ side before I told them the truth. I was miserable, but I didn’t want any help. Afterall, I am a social worker, I can counsel anyone, so why would I need counseling. I was a single mom, working full-time, going to school, raising my son and taking care of my brother – I didn’t have time to slow down and look at my own problems. I had become so accustomed to my life, my behavior became who I was. I was afraid to find out who I really was… I didn’t deserve any better. I was in denial.
Whether we have been hurt or have hurt others, used alcohol or drugs to get through the day, eaten our way through stressful situations, lied to stay out of trouble or had a sexual addiction to comfort ourselves, God is always willing to give us the strength to ‘Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past,’ Isaiah 43:18. The start of our journey is to admit we are not God. That we have NO power to change to do the right thing without Him. Are you ready to get this journey started?
Prayer:
Father, I thank You for every woman who has begun this study. Thank You that in our weaknesses, You are made strong. It is hard to let go of our past comforts – help us to not let go of Your hand as You guide us down this path of recovery. Give us the courage to admit and realize that without You we cannot make these changes. We pray for peace, trust and the knowledge that You will be there through it all – we just need to ask. Thank You Father and bless each one here today, in Jesus’ precious name we pray – Amen.
Assignment:
It isn’t easy to change habits, hurts or struggles, even if they are bad habits. Is there a hurt you are hanging onto? What are you afraid to change? Bring your discussions to the table.
IF THERE IS ANYTHING THAT YOU DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE SHARING IN THIS PUBLIC FORUM, A SECRET FACEBOOK GROUP IS AVAILABLE TO YOU TO HELP YOU DIG DEEPER INTO THIS STUDY. For more information, please visit us HERE, and sign up for this study. Once we receive your request, we will email you further instructions.
If you are interested in emailing Laurie in regards to this blog, please send it to: Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.
About Laurie Ellis
hi there…echoing your prayer and petitions to our wonderful Father, laurie! sometimes it IS difficult to voice our struggles and fears…but we ALWAYS can go to Him Who loves us so…He already knows, after all! <3
Colleen, that is so true. I now look back and think I was hiding things from God. I am so thankful I came out of 'my hiding.' He is truly an amazing God!!
I used to be a neat and organized person, taking pride in having a clean and orderly house. One day something happened, not sure what exactly all that changed. Maybe it was when I was married to my first husband who died of cancer at age 24, he was the opposite of me and you know that old saying, if you can't beat them, join them? Well I think that is what I did! I joined him in his slobiness. He passed away 10 years ago and I am now remarried with 3 stepkids under the age of 15 and I can't seem to shake that slobiness partially because the kids are that way and partially because my husband whom I love dearly enables me to be this way and doesn't push me to change and I don't have that power within myself. At this point I do believe that God is the only one that can bring about any real and lasting change in this area. So here I am broken and crying out as I relinquish the reins and hand this over to Him. Please stand in prayer with me that through God's strength I will be able to overcome the clutter and chaos to experience serene organization in my home and life.
Father, You are amazing, and You love Janet even more than any one of us could ever imagine. You care about every single detail in her life, including her request here today. Lord I pray that You will bring the desire back in Janet's heart to have a tidy and orderly home. I pray Lord that the kids in this home, will begin helping her, as well as her husband, too. Give her ways to begin this new journey, Lord. Give her wisdom…but mostly bring back that desire for order, Lord. In Your Precious Name, AMEN!!!
Wow Laurie. My habit of thinking I can control all things when truly it's the exact opposite. Thank you for being transparent Laurie. Praying that He continues the good work He's started in you my friend!!
It is so true…. we must let God into these hurts in order to truly be FREE to live the life He has created us for! Wonderful blog, Lauire <3 Thank you for walking beside us on this journey 🙂
Laurie I love your openess and heart. Much of what you said hit home for me. I too had been miserable. Finally after years of misery, I realized I despartly need God every waking moment because I can Not do life on my own….Thx for sharing today 🙂
You are amazing, Laurie. I knew the minute we started talking on FB that God has something special planned for you!! Thank you for stepping out and being so obedient to His calling on your life! Through your transparency today, you will be able to reach many women for Him. Thank you for being YOU!!!!! <3 U!
Great blog Laurie! It's hard to let go of things, I think I have at times only to realize that I haven't!!
Great way to start the day. My brain is turning. Gonna journal and try to summarize the answer to the assignment. Thank you Laurie. God bless you.
wow Laurie! For some time now God has been nudging me to let go of the hurt of my biological father purposely choosing not to be in my life. Sadly, I realize that I am very angry by the choices he made. Obviously this has led to an inability to see God as my abba father, another area God is dealing with me! Thank you for your transparency and willingness to share your experiences with us 🙂
Melissa, you will find that when we let go of our own hurts, God will heal them for us! God so much wants to be your loving Father. One you can go to with everything, sit in His lap or play at His feet. What a joy to have a Father like that!! Praying you will feel His awesome love wrapping around you my friend!! 🙂
Can I just say that I too struggle with this? Clutter? I beat myself up all the time about it yet I do nothi g to change it. Thank you for being so honest. Lets do this together friend!!!
Janet – will be standing in agreement in prayer with you that God will give you the desire to bring order to your home. Also, agree in prayer with Christi that your children and husband will take part. It is awesome that you are willing to hand over the control to Him. He will bless that willingness of heart and help you.
Sounds like there are many of us that are going to be holding each other accountable to 'Let Go and Let God". 🙂 We will travel this together!
Love this journey Megan!! Love being on it with such amazing women. 🙂
Isn't it great, Leslie, when we have such an amazing Father we can take everything to and know He will take care of it! What were we doing previously? :/
Christi – thank you so much for the kind words. I had to stop living life with my mind and start using my heart!! So thankful He is a God of ….. chances! 🙂
Me too Patricia. Right now my word for the year is trust!! I can trust Him I just sometimes think He needs my help. Yikes!! Gotta let it go!! Glad you are doing the study with us!!
Laurie, everyone keeps talking about "their one word" that I am gonna look it up on Amazon and order it.
Great that you picked up your journal right away. Sometimes that is the hardest part – but will prove to be very rewarding in this journey. So excited you are joining this study!!
Every time I tried to leave the abusive relationship I was trapped in I always went back, he would say "are you going to be strong this time, who are we kidding we both know you are the weakest person we know". I finally hit a point where I had to call out to God not for help but to literally DO EVERYTHING FOR ME. He did and He continues to. I know now that on my own yes I am the weakest but with God I am the strongest person that abusive man WILL NEVER KNOW! Reading your post made me remember just how thankful I am to God that HE HAS TRULY DONE IT ALL FOR ME! Thanks so much for sharing:)
You are so beautiful Diane, and God is using you in BIG ways!!! 🙂 Luv U Girl!
thank you Christi xoxoxo
Praise God Diane!! What an awesome encouragement you will be for so many!! So glad you have joined this journey!! 🙂
You know what's even more beautiful, Laurie? You just "thought" you were hiding all this from God, but He knew it all along, and He loved you!! He was always there, just waiting for you to come to Him! 🙂 Praise God!!!!