Welcome Girlfriends,
It’s time to begin our journey through Captivating. Are you ready? LET’S DO IT!
I must say that I was happy to read in the introduction that Captivating is not another book about all the things that I am failing to do as woman. In this book, we are not going to go through 12 steps or 10 ways or 5 things on how to become Captivating. No all of such books are bad or not worthy of your time but I am sure you and I have read a number of such books and like our author Stasi Eldredge, you have been left feeling like “you are not the woman you ought to be.”
I am pleased to note that femininity cannot be prescribed in a formula. So this means that I should not judge myself if I don’t love playing dress up, tea parties and china or if I shudder at the thought of women who love to hunt or go hiking through the mountains. As a woman I have to be happy with who I am whether I am a professor, an athlete, a mom, a secretary or a social worker. Whether I relate more to Cinderella or Joan of Arc, the most important thing that I should embrace is that I AM A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
It is sad that as women we tend to fall into stereotypes, if we don’t fit a certain group or clique, we sideline one another and this puts so much pressure on us to conform to a particular lifestyle. We need to know that although we may have different lifestyles or likes or dislikes, we share something deep and true, down in our hearts.
Through this book we will find out what is at the core of each woman’s heart? What are our desires? What did we long for as little girls? What do we still long for as women? And how does a woman begin to be healed from the wounds and tragedies of her life?
We are going to find that precious thing that has been lost –
OUR PRICELESS FEMININE HEART.
Do you remember when you first knew in your heart that you were no longer a girl, but had become a woman? Was it high school or college? Or when you got married or when you become a mom? Like our author Stasi, I don’t either. I have gone through all the phases of life as a girl and then as a woman but I cannot really pin point the exact moment when I can say wow, I feel like a woman now. I sometimes look at myself in the mirror and still see the little girl in me. The little girl who still wants to play with a Barbie doll, or the teenager who wants to stay indoors and read the romance books that the adults around her are reading or the first year student who wants to curl up and talk hours on the phone about the college guys or gossip about who is dating who or who got humiliated at the fresh man’s ball. When I got married I couldn’t wait to join the women’s clique and talk about our husbands and children, share the secrets about how to treat your husband with respect or how to raise godly children, how to take care of the home and all sorts of things that we as women talk about when we are all gathered in one place.
In each phase of life, there are expectations that are laid upon us by our families, our churches and our cultures. There are reams of materials on what we ought to do to be a good woman. But that is not the same thing as knowing what the journey toward becoming a woman involves, or even what the goal should be.
As Christian women, most of us have been told that “you are here to serve. That’s why God created you: to serve; in the nursery, in the kitchen, on the various committees, in your home and in your community.” We are expected to be sweet, helpful, disciplined and composed. Not a hair out of place.
Most of us look to the Proverbs 31 woman as an example of how femininity ought to be. The more we try to do what she did, the more we fail. In the end we become tired and disgruntled. How did she manage to do all that she did and have time for friendships, for taking walks or read good books, our author asks? Is this the measure we are to use in order to be characterized as godly women?
Let’s take this journey together to get the answer the above question and more. Let us recover together the things we have lost. Most of all let us come to the point where we accept that we are CAPTIVATING.
*****
LET’S PRAY
Father, thank You for being with us as we begin this journey together. I pray that we will allow You to remove the things in our lives that have hindered us to become who we truly are. Help us to embrace our true femininity and not the stereotypes that we have accepted in our lives. Most of all lead us to the place where it all begun, in our heart. Begin anew with us. In Jesus Name. Amen.
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YOUR ASSIGNMENT
Let us get to know one another by sharing who we are by identifying the characters that we relate to? Are you a Cinderella or Joan of Arc, or Mary Magdalene or Oprah? What delights you tea parties and china or are you the adventure type or woman who loves to hunt, mountain climbing or parachuting in the sky?
Read Proverbs 31 and tell me your thoughts on the Proverbs Woman. In what way do you relate to her?
Be Blessed,
Jackie
If you are interested in joining this amazing online Bible study, click HERE to sign up. Once you are registered, you will receive an email with further details.
If you would like to send a personal message to Jackie in regards to this blog, you may email her at: Jackie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.
About Jackie Chingawale
I have always wanted to be the proverbs 31 woman. Tried to at the beginning of our marriage 12 years ago. I am not my husbands priority, never have been.His priority is sex/porn and softball. So I/we gave up.We are now separated. I am working on me now!!!, and of course taking care of our sweet children. I know this book is going to give me the start I need!!!
Dawn, I am sorry to hear that your marriage has separated. I will be praying for you all! I pray our Lord meets the needs that you have through this study. ((hugs))
I'm a mixture of Joan of arc and Cinderella as a little girl I enjoyed playing dress up and twirling around but I also liked to go exploring and take pretend adventures and I honestly hate the proverbs 31 woman because I resent having these expectations on me
I am with you…I am a little bit princess and a little bit tomboy. I am athletic, but I want to be pretty. I want to hang with the guys, but I want them to be enthralled with me too. I am going to read Proverbs 31 again today. Make sure you aren't putting pressure on yourself! xo
So sorry Dawn about your separation. Praying for you that through this study the Lord will show you that you are special and worth of love.
Dawn, I am praying for you and your family. I think the priority thing is a big thing for me in what I want from a man. And when he is choosing such destructive things over what is really important, it must be even more difficult. I am glad you are choosing to take care of yourself and draw close to God. He loves you so much. xo
How am I expected to live up to 31 goody too shoe
I think the P31 Woman is a good role model to learn from. We may not be able to be exactly like her, but we she is incentive to make us want to be our BEST.
Dawn,
I too am praying for you and your family. God loves you so much and HE knows how hard you try and HE blesses your desire to be a godly woman who fears Him and loves Him with all of your heart!
I am Cinderella ALL THE WAY! There is no ounce of anything other than girly girl in me! The only thing I would possibly get my hands dirty for would be chocolate and it would really have to be die for chocolate at that!! I have read Proverbs 31 many times my take away verses are 20, 26, and 30. Honestly though I have always been a little bit confused by the wording so I read it in the message Bible today…I love this chapter of the Bible. It is not telling me I have to be perfect, it is telling me what I am working towards. I may never be able to make my own clothes, but I have other skills to offer to God, and my family one day. I desire to be a woman after God's heart. I desire to please Him, I desire to posess wisdom, have strong character, and great compassion. This Proverbs 31 woman has many achievements that may seem weird to us or not possible for us to achieve, HOWEVER whatever her achievements may be it is clear they are as a result of her reverence and relationship with God! Even though I may not be all I desire to be one day, I know and trust that as long as I am loving and fearing and obeying the Lord then I will not have to worry about all of the things I am not. I have God and He is all I need and He will be my strength to be all I was created to be, seamstress or not:)
AMEN AMEN AMEN!!!!
Amen Diane, beautifully said! 🙂
AMEN Diane.
I honestly don't know how I see myself as woman. I only played with Barbies when I had to, to fit in or when babysitting. I am athletic and have always gotten along better with guys. I guess the most identifiable female trait is I am a caretaker, always a Mom, the joke in my family is I was the Mom and my Mom was the daughter.
I love how Proverbs 31 begins, v10b "She is more precious than jewels." I believe as women we MUST believe that as children of the most High, daughters of the King of Kings we are always precious. V17 "She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong." As women we are strongest, it is why Satan went after Eve – she was the key. Our arms are strong, we carry our own little worlds in our hands! Verse 20, "She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy." Verses 25-27 are beautiful and the heart of the Christian women I know. Sure, we doubt ourselves and run ragged but I see this Proverb as a love letter from God – he knows that every one of his daughters has the heart of a warrior.