Ok, time for me to fess up. I was not looking forward to doing this chapter. Let’s just say that patience isn’t my best virtue, especially when it comes to my being single. I feel that the fact that I am 41 years old, that I have “kids” that I saw be born, getting married,and having their own babies; that I am using wrinkle cream and hair dye more than acne cream and cute hair styles, has qualified me for having “enough” patience and I am growing tired of it. I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes when I hear a 25-year-old complaining about being single. I think to myself, “Try adding 16 more years of being single and see how it feels!”. Now, with all that being said…I KNOW THIS IS WRONG…I am not proud of it. It is a quality I do not like in myself, and it is something I am completely willing to work through while we go through this chapter. I don’t want to stay here, it’s not fun. So let’s start unpacking this together, are you with me?
I enjoyed the story of Janis and Linda from the book, and I literally laughed out loud with Linda’s “Great is Thy Faithfulness” line. Now both their stories ended with happy marriages and they both enthusiastically agreed it was worth the wait. We don’t know how old they were, how long their wait was, but it did seem like it was a painful process for them, even though they joked about things and kept the faith. They stayed strong in their convictions and were “rewarded” for that. It does make me curious about what would have happened if one had married and the other hadn’t, or if they were both still waiting, but that is a topic for another day!
What did speak to me, in a big megaphone type way, was the line, “Many women have waited and won. Many women have lost faith and compromised.” How many of us have put time constraints on God? Or at least thought “If ‘x’ doesn’t happen by a certain date, then I am just going to ‘y’” I used to have an age limit of 40 to have another child, and as that approached I moved the “deadline” to 42. I will admit to thinking that if there isn’t someone in my life by 45 I will loosen my standards. Now would I actually go through with these random deadlines, I’m honestly not sure. I may have just moved it up, the way I did the baby one. I don’t know. What I do know now, as much as it is painful to think about, as scary as it is to consider, I have to trust in God’s timeline. I can not start taking things into my own hands because of a self-imposed deadline. I need to trust that God is taking care of things in my best interest and that I need to continue to be a Lady of Patience. I am opening myself up to stretching and growing with all of you this week.
LET’S PRAY
Jesus I call on You today, Thank You for always having our best interest at heart, even when it is difficult for us. I know that our Father loves us and only wants the best for us. Please help those of us who struggle with patience. Help us trust in You, help us enjoy the journey. You know our hurts, take our hearts in Your hands and care
YOUR ASSIGNMENT
Please share whether or not your struggle bring patient in your single life. If you do, what are the fears and struggles? If not, what strategies have you developed to cope? Also, do you think age influences patience?
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Our Next
Single Women’s Online Bible Study
“Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul”
by John & Stasi Eldgredge
Begins January 6, 2013
To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to studying “Captivating” with you!!
About Michelle Graziano
thank you, michelle, for sharing your struggles in remaining patient. i love where you wrote, "I have to trust in God’s timeline…I need to trust that God is taking care of things in my best interest…." i truly believe that it is a day-by-day endeavor.
praying for you: "[we pray] that you may be invigorated and strengthened with all power according to the might of His glory, [to exercise] every kind of endurance and PATIENCE with joy, giving thanks to the Father, Who has qualified and made us fit to share the portion which is the inheritance of the saints (God’s holy people) in the Light" (colossians 1:11). <3
Amen Coleen…thank you xo He is who we need to trust in…
Great post dear Michelle, you are not alone in this and God hears your prayers. Hang in there, it will all be worth it in the end.
Thanks Jackie…I am keeping the faith 🙂
All good things come to those who wait upon the Lord! Remember that hon! Psalm 27:13-14 (MSG) — 13-14 I’m sure now I’ll see God’s goodness in the exuberant earth. Stay with God! Take heart. Don’t quit. I’ll say it again: Stay with God.
I am …I promise. Just pray for strength!
Amen Michelle!!! I am right there with you girl. You echoed my sentiments exactly. We do have to stay strong and trust the Lord. I do want to so very much. I just keep thinking what if I am destined to remain single… 🙁 I am 54 and divorced, so it is not like I haven't been married before. I just didn't have a good marriage. I knew I shouldn't have married the man I did. I had prayed about it and every time, the same issues that we fought about would surface and continued into the marriage. This time, I want to wait for who the Lord has for me.
That is my biggest issue…"is this FOREVER??" I try so hard to believe He has it under control….sigh.
Michelle, my deadline was always married by 25…I am 24. I was really struggling with this when I turned 24 and was single. I know I am only 24 and it is alot different thatn you because you are 41 BUT at any age no matter how long we wait when we are desiring so strongly to have a man to share our life with and have babies with it is tough. I see a lot of friends or loved ones who have not patiently waited I see the results of settling and that keeps me on God's time line instead of trying to make my own. I cannot imagine how I would feel if I were in your shoes, but know that I pray for you often and I trust God has amazing things in store for you:) He does not give us desires just to do nothing with them! Love you!!
Thanks so much Diane! I have another friend that says that about the desires, I keep trying to have faith that it is true….keep the prayers coming 😉 love you back xoxo